Bloody Endings
by HeidiLancaster
Summary: After her family's death, Tori was convinced she was incapable of feeling love again. Of feeling anything at all. After being sent to Cross Academy, she becomes distant and bitter towards everyone and everything but much to her surprise, there's someone just as bitter and distant as her. You could imagine her annoyance as she begins to fall for him...
1. Prologue

Prologue

* * *

_Blood._

_Blood._

_Blood._

I can see nothing.

_Blood. _

_Blood._

_Blood._

I can feel nothing.

_Blood._

_Blood._

_Blood._

I can _smell _nothing.

_Blood_.

_Blood._

_Blood._

But that damned substance...

It cakes my skin. It's settled in my hair. It tastes like metal in my mouth. And it looks so...red...

_This isn't just your blood..._

The red has overwhelmed my sight. I can only see red and nothing else, like a cloudy, sickening haze.

_It's your mother's blood too. _

_And your father's._

_And your sister's._

_And yours..._

The sick realisation sinks in and I feel like I should, cry or scream but I have no energy to cry and no voice to scream.

I am alive but I feel dead. I can see but I feel blind. I can smell but...I feel like a predator. The scent of blood around me begins to sweeten and I cannot seem to control myself as I drag my aching and bleeding body into a predatory crouch.

I see movement but I also see my sister, trying to get up. My new senses cannot tell the difference.

I lunge.


	2. Irrational Clarity

Chapter 1:

Irrational Clarity

* * *

It wasn't my parents death that had affected me the most. I had gotten over that in the short space of a month through rational and logical thinking. Admittedly, there was a lot of sobbing and screaming and emotional hurt that came with that clarity but nonetheless, I got through it. My sister's death was probably a bit higher above that but I had chosen to forget that. I had chosen to force myself into clarity in that regard.

Moving away from the home I grew up in was probably high on the list of things that traumatised me but like the latter, I got through that too. By then I was beyond tears, too far gone to really notice anything. Even going through family photos, packing away my father's history books, shoving my mother's wedding ring into my bag and selling my sister's toys hadn't done anything. They only brought a feeling of nothingness, like they held no meaning or significance at all.

What had affected me most however, was something entirely different. It was so simple, really, a simple matter for a complicated situation.

When I had arrived at Cross Academy, I wouldn't say I was completely blown away by the size of the school buildings but I was rather impressed. From my understanding, the school held at least nine-hundred students, which was admittedly only a few hundred people bigger than my old school back home. But my old school had been three quarters the size of Cross Academy and with a few less classrooms. Every seat was always filled and every lesson was loud, just how I liked it. It had been an all-girls school, so there was always no reason to act stupid around my friends there. But I left those friends behind, all thanks to something I couldn't possibly have controlled.

The car pulled up at the front gates, not that I could hear, mind you, with my headphones in and music up loud, I was determined to block out the sound of everything and anything until it was absolutely necessary that I had to do otherwise. The Headmaster knocked on my window, the sudden sound making me jump and drop the book I had been reading as a further distraction from the outside world. Through the tinted window, I could see he had a bright smile and lively blue eyes that honestly made me feel worse rather than better. Frowning, I tugged my headphones out of my ears and picked my book up off the carpeted car floor, before stuffing it back into my duffel bag. I was surprised by how much my bag could hold after I packed, since I managed to shove most of the clothes I needed into it, along with five of my favourite books. Until the rest of my things were delivered to the Academy in a week, I'd be living off a book a day and already, I had managed to plough through three of my books already. I was taking my current book slow though, since '_To Kill A Mockingbird_' has always been my favourite and I always have to take time to appreciate it.

The Headmaster opens the door for me, beaming happily at me as I step out into the autumn air. I hadn't bothered to put on the uniform this morning, mainly because it was five in the morning and I was too agitated to put on a stupid school uniform but also because I was lazy. I opted out for a pair of black track suit pants, a plain black T-shirt, my All-Schools triathlon hoodie and my battered up Converse sneakers. My hair was a slight mess, since I hadn't seen what I was doing this morning and somehow I managed to get it into a semi-decent braid but I still felt that I had to cover up my atrocity with my hood.

"Sorry," I muttered, looking down at my hoodie. "I was a bit disorientated this morning. Forgot about the uniform thing."

"That's alright," The Headmaster chimed, his cheeriness sounding almost scary as he speaks. "You won't be starting classes until tomorrow anyway. You should get settled into your dorm first."

"Oh," I mumbled. Damn. Was looking forward to a little more distractions. "What about...um...my...condition?"

In an instant, the Headmaster's eyes darken and I can't help but bite the inside of my cheek and let the anxiety of the situation set in. The tattoo that had only just been inked onto the back of my neck was like a constant reminder of what happened to me. What happened to my parents. What will happen to me.

The Headmaster smiles sadly and puts a hand on my shoulder, as if to reassure me. It doesn't work. "We'll talk about that later. Now, we must get you settled in."

The fact that the Headmaster was avoiding the matter of my problem was a little more than worrying, so much to the point that I felt as if I was suffering from a panic attack. I had had many already, mainly due to nightmares, but I can't help but be afraid of the feeling; tight chested, breathless and scared.

Luckily, I managed to make it to the main school building without collapsing. The Headmaster lead me into his office, where I finally pulled back my hood and actually took in my surroundings. The walls were a bland cream white and his office was pretty much bare, with only a desk and chair behind it occupying the space. There was a couple of bookcases on the left wall and, almost automatically, I had the urge to walk over and start surveying for new things to read. I held myself back, forcing myself to stuff my hands into my pockets and keep my eyes on the Headmaster's desk.

"Tori, are you alright? You look quite pale," The Headmaster asked, staring up at me with worried eyes.

I shook my head viciously, ignoring the vague burning sensation in the back of my throat. _It'll get worse_, the little voice in my head told me. _You have to do something about that._

Burying that little voice deep into my subconscious, I realign my gaze to match the Headmaster's. I smile weakly and shrug. "Just nervous, I guess."

That seemed to convince him. In the space of one second, his smile returned and continued to freak me out for the next few minutes as he asked me a variety of different questions. I vaguely answered them all, mainly because of social convention and the fact that I often hate to be rude but as questions of my parents began to arise, I forced myself into silence and stared at the wall behind the Headmaster's head, mentally calculating how fast I could throw a punch with my hands scrunched into my hoodie pockets. Thankfully, I'm saved when there's a knock at the door.

"Come in," The Headmaster chimed, his cheery mood more pissing me off now than disturbing me.

I hear the door behind me open but I don't bother to turn around. Whoever it was, I'll know soon. By the way the Headmaster's already happy eyes lit up, I can tell it's probably some star student who's meant to show me around. I should know. I used to be one of those star students at my old school.

"Yuki, Zero, I'd like you to meet Tori. She'll be enrolled in the Day Class from now on. I'd like you to show her around."

A short brown-haired girl comes into view with strange red tinted brown eyes wearing a black school uniform. I take the hint and work out that she's Yuki. She spots me looking at her and smiles, her smile being one of those warm smiles that doesn't completely unnerve you. As for Zero, I can only see him out of the corner of my eye, standing a few meters behind Yuki with his hands in his pockets. His distinctive silver hair is a strange sight to my eyes but it's the burn of his violet eyes that fix their gaze on the back of my head that make me feel unwelcome. Unfortunately, it's him who speaks first.

"Since when, exactly, have we been the ones to show around students?" Zero snapped, obviously annoyed by my presence.

Yuki snapped her head around to glare at him but I was quicker with a response. "Oh and that's so charming. I'm sure you make friends easy."

The words slipped off my tongue before I could stop them but I wasn't unhappy that I hadn't stopped them. It always felt good to insult people when they deserved it, even just a little bit.

Yuki shoots one last deathly glance at Zero before she turns her gaze back to me and cuts off the Headmaster before he speaks. "Hi, Tori," She said. "I'll show you around, even if Zero won't."

I shrug, feeling myself relax a little in the new environment. "Not a problem. I can deal with smartasses."

I hear Zero scoff behind me and I feel tempted to flip him off but I stop myself, knowing that'll only cause tension to get worse.

"Zero, I'd suggest you speak a little more nicely to Tori," The Headmaster warned. "After all, she will be joining the Disciplinary Committee."

The outrage that followed was a little uncalled for, I have to admit.

"How does she know?!" Yuki exclaimed, taking a step back as if frightened of me.

I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest, as if nothing is happening at all. "Long story," I muttered, glaring at Yuki. "A very long story that I would rather not share."

"Everyone calm down," The Headmaster exclaimed but it was almost as if no one was listening.

"Why won't you tell us?" Zero snapped.

I roll my eyes and dig my nails into my forearms just to stop myself from lunging at the boy. "There are some things I would like to forget. What you are asking of me will revive memories that most likely cannot be forgotten again."

"Why should that matter?" He snapped back, the ferocious look in his eyes almost making second guess my answer. "We all want to forget some things."

"Then you should understand my secrecy."

"I don-"

"Let it go!"

I could feel myself slowly slipping from the confines of control, my rage somehow beginning to outweigh my indifference. Why would he care? I'm not a threat to him. Well, actually I am but not as much as I used to be. _What you used to be. Remember that, Tori? What you used to be._ The memories begin to flood my head, clouding my rage but only making me shake with fear. _No, no, no. Stop it. I don't want to remember this. I can't go back to that._

Swallowing my fear and anxiety, I tighten my jaw and stare at Zero. I reach up behind my neck, feeling for the edges of the bandage that covers my tattoo, before ripping it off my skin. I shift my hair out of the way and turn so that he can see it.

"Happy?" I snarled, letting my hair fall back into place as I turn to face the now wide-eyed Zero. "I'd rather not talk about certain experiences. Judging by how we match, I'll know not to ask you the same question."

I had noticed our matching tattoos when I first got a good view of him but I hadn't mentioned it until now. It obviously affected him and I was glad of that; I have a sick pleasure when it comes to revenge.

The mood drops dramatically after that but eventually, Yuki leads me to my room and I'm glad of that. I need time to think a little, to think on things that don't evolve death and destruction.

"Here we are," Yuki said nervously.

The girl's been jittery ever since we left the Headmaster's office and I fear it's because I was a little too aggressive in my own defence. I want to apologise and explain myself but I'm tired and nauseous, thanks to spending at least five hours in a car. But worst of all, the burning sensation in the back of my throat has worsened and I'm terrified that if Yuki stays any longer, I won't be able to control myself.

"Thanks," I mumbled, dumping my bag by the foot of the bed.

The room is simple enough, with battered floor boards and blue-tinted white walls. The bed is a single, which frankly annoys me considering I owned a double back home, and there's a wooden wardrobe in the corner of the room. I have the luxury of not having a roommate and I'm happy about that. At least no one will hog my music and ruin my books.

Yuki leaves in a hurry with a silent goodbye and I close the door behind her, not bothering to look where she went. I quickly begin to unpack the small portion of my belongings and I lay them out on the bed.

_'To Kill A Mockingbird_' comes out first, before anything really, then '_The Great Gatsby_', '_Pride and Prejudice_', '_Wuthering Heights_' and '_Great Expectations_'. I have a much larger collection on the way but for now, these are what I have and I could still re-read them if I wanted to. I place the books on my bedside table and set to work on the rest of my things. I lazily put my clothes in the wardrobe and set up my speakers in no time at all. I change out of my T-shirt and hoodie, pulling on a white singlet and sweater instead.

With nothing left to do, I set my iPod on shuffle, letting the music sound through the speakers, and lay down on my bed with a book in hand. I decided to change it up a little with '_The Great Gatsby_' but unfortunately, it has an unfortunate ending and that upsets me a little. I don't always go for happy endings but I do need them occasionally. Especially with the very unhappy ending my life is heading for.

The knock at my door makes me jump, mainly because I was too enraptured by Nick Caraway's recount of his first visit to one of Gatsby's parties but also because I wasn't expecting anyone. I hastily turn down my music so it's barely audible and open the door to find Yuki.

"Oh," I said, mentally groaning at her presence. "I didn't think I'd need to go anywhere right now..."

"You don't..." She said, trailing off as if forgetting her words. "I was just wondering how you were. And I thought I should come see you, since Zero was so rude to you earlier."

I smile a little, more out of instinct than anything else. "It's alright. I can handle him. I'm sure he's not as tough as he looks."

Yuki laughed nervously, tugging at her shirt anxiously. I never really have this affect on people; if I did, no one would like me but I can understand, I guess, considering who I am and...what I am.

"Did you wanna come in?" I asked, running a hand through my mattered hair.

"Um, sure," She said timidly, stepping past me and into my room.

I slowly ease the door shut, thinking of something to say but coming up with nothing, and sit down on my bed, my eyes following Yuki as she walks in front of me.

"What was it you wanted to ask?" I said, quickly seeing the curiosity in her eyes.

Yuki gasps, obviously not expecting me to be so observant but she regains her composure and blushes slightly, not wanting to ask her question. _Oh God, here we go, _I thought, preparing myself for the question I do not want to answer.

"What..." Yuki said before somewhat thinking better of her question and resuming to think. "How are you? The Headmaster told me about what happened to your parents and I-"

"The sympathy is appreciated but honestly, it doesn't do anyone any good," I interrupted, staring down at the floor. "My parents are dead so they wouldn't care and I, myself, am numb to any kind of condolences. I'm over it, in short."

My interruption surprised her a little but given my recent display of rude manners, I can tell Yuki is already used to me. _I'm glad someone is. _I'm _not even used to me anymore. _

"Zero lost his parents as well," Yuki said, taking another stab at conversation. "He was quite young though. He doesn't talk about it much..."

"I could understand that," I replied. "Dead parents tends to be a bit of a taboo subject around orphans."

Since I seem to be a complete mood killer, Yuki starts to wander about my room. She doesn't get far before she finds the small pile of books on my bedside table.

"You read a lot?" She asked, picking up _'Great Expectations' _with a lot less care than I would.

"Yeah," I replied, looking down at '_The Great Gatsby' _I have clutched in my hand. "I have a lot more books but these were all I could bring at the moment. My others are on the way."

"Are these your favourites?"

I smile, hugging my book to my chest. "Of course. I've read them all at least a dozen times."

Yuki smiled back, then set down the book and sat down beside me on the bed. I begin to remember the one question that's been plaguing my mind for days, being my one and only source of worry. It's a petty thing really, considering I shouldn't be afraid of something I can't control but _this _scares me, nonetheless.

"Does...Kaname Kuran attend the Night Class?" I asked, nervous butterflies beginning to flutter in my stomach.

Yuki spins her head in my direction and blushes again, before giving me my answer.

"Yes, he does. He's Dorm President, in fact."

In one instant, it feels like the weight of the world has been dropped right on top of me. I shudder, wrapping my arms around myself and taking deep, slow breaths. _A Pureblood._ There couldn't be anything worse that was around in that moment. I had sworn to hate Purebloods, ever since one attacked my home. I had concluded that I hated them because I was afraid. And I _am _afraid now. A Pureblood lives only a few hundred meters away from me.

Memories and predictions swirl in my head, making me dizzy and faint. Then and there, I realise what exactly has affected me most of all. Being enrolled at Cross Academy has and _will _affect me the most..._  
_

* * *

**Please Read and Review, telling me what you think. Any advice or criticism is welcome, just say it politely and without too much insult. Anyway, enjoy my story and I'll have more chapters up eventually.**


	3. Screaming Nightmares

Chapter 2:

Screaming Nightmares

* * *

Nightmares have always been a common thing for me. I've had them ever since I was five and I've never been able to get rid of them. They tend to be different every time, varying from exploiting my fear of heights to my fear of the beast I will become. But tonight, my nightmare was a little too much to bare.

Gasping for precious air, I wake covered in sweat, tears escaping my eyes as I sit up. The image of Zali, my little sister, lying dead in a pool of her own blood sticks in my mind as a gruesome reminder of what I have done. _Of what you are, don't forget. _I can still remember how I attacked her, drank her blood until she fell limp in my arms. When people tell me that Zali's death wasn't my fault, I simply smile sadly and nod but inside, I know what I did. I know what I have done and I cannot repent for that.

As the burning sensation in my throat begins to intensify, I throw the covers back and reach for my blood tablets that I had left out before I fell asleep. I'd been trying to find a place to hide them but after about half an hour, exhaustion took over and I had, basically, collapsed onto my bed and let the heavy hands of sleep drag me under. What a mistake that had been...

I flick off the cover of the little black box and pick out four tablets. It's probably too much for me but I hate this feeling of hunger that's so violent and hateful that I usually overindulge. Not that anyone would _want _to overindulge with these tablets, considering the fact that they taste god-awful.

Forcing down the horrid acidic taste that the tablets give, I swallow the tablets. In a few seconds, my throat feels better but that reveals the horrible throbbing in my head. Frustrated and angry, I decide to venture out into the halls for fresh air.

I pick up my sweater off the floor and pull it on, despite the fact that my skin is still damp with sweat. I make my way out, silently closing my door behind me as I step out into the silent hallway. The floor boards creak under my weight, the sound echoing through the still air. I bite my lip, listening out for anyone who might have heard me. After a few seconds of silence, I realise that everyone's probably asleep and no one would have heard me. Not at this hour.

I slip through the dorm as quickly and silently as I can, making it outside in only a few minutes with hardly any trouble. The night air is cold but it's refreshing and it clears my mind, which is exactly what I need right now.

My brown hair fans out behind me in the wind and I let myself relax, closing my eyes just to enjoy the solitude for a while.

"You shouldn't be out here."

The snapping tone of Zero's voice breaks the silence around me, making me open my eyes whilst muttering many words of profanity. That voice has been my main source of annoyance the last few days, ever since we fought in the Headmaster's office on the day I arrived. I can tell his opinion of me is low, not that my own opinion of him is high, and he usually has nothing helpful or generally pleasant to say. We don't like each other but there's a mutual understanding between us, considering that our fates are aligned. We're both going to hell and we know it. At least that's one thing we can agree on.

"Neither should you, by my count," I replied, raking a hand through my freshly tangled hair. "Headmaster said there wasn't much need for patrols tonight. And besides, it's two in the morning. Night Class would have already been back to their dorms by now."

Zero rolls his eyes, obviously not liking my answer. "You honestly believe that people will be safe with _them _around?"

I groan. "Serious questions are _not _for this early in the morning. They are for times when people actually _want _to answer them."

"Do you ever take anything seriously? Vampires-"

"Are bad, I know. No need to remind me of that."

My hand instinctively goes to the back of my neck where my tattoo sits. I can't help but look at it every time I see myself in the mirror. It's like a torn in my side, a horrid reminder of something evil and wrong. That something being me and what I'll become in a matter of years, months or days. I can't know for sure when my thirst will drive me over the edge. Each Pureblood bite affects each person differently, like a drug. No one can be sure how long I'll last. No one can be sure of anything right now.

Staring up at the sky, my mind slipped back to the last line I had read in my book a few hours before I went to bed. " '_They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.' _"

I always loved and despised that quote. It reminded me of Purebloods and how they too, smashed up other people's things or even people themselves and then stepped back into their quiet little safe zone. It was despicable and disgusting and yet, I could see the reason in it. Why even have high status if you don't have some kind of protection that comes with it?

"What are you thinking about?" Zero asked.

"Nothing," I answered, sighing sadly as the wind drifted by. "Just my usual nonsense, I guess."

Zero shrugged and put his hands in his pockets, shifting into his usual stance. "What's wrong?"

"Who said anything was wrong?" I keep my eyes away from his, hoping he can't see the lie I'm about to tell. "I'm perfectly fine, nothing else to it."

Even by the tone of my voice, I could tell that my lie wasn't convincing. Maybe it was the early hour or my raging headache but that was definitely not the best lie I've ever told.

Zero sighs, not sounding convinced either. "Fine. It's none of my business anyway."

As abruptly as he came, Zero leaves, thankfully without any obscene comments or snappy insults. I feel relived when he goes but as the vacuum of silence envelops me again, I feel strangely alone and it's not a feeling I like. After about ten minutes of standing in silence, I walk toward the Headmaster's office, intending to find some sleeping pills that actually work, not ones that just trap me in some nightmarish hell. I can see the Headmaster's light in his office is on and I mentally thank God he's still awake.

By the time I eventually reach his office, my head is pounding and I can see black spots appear in my vision. Fighting back the urge to faint, I open the door and step in.

The room is dark with only candlelight on the desk to iluminate the room. I'm surprised I was able to see it from the window but I could actually see _clearly _when I looked into his window, rather than now when I can hardly see the now grim-faced Headmaster sitting behind his desk.

"Tori!" He exclaimed, the urgent tone in his voice making me believe that I look a little worse for wear. "Are you alright?"

"Well, obviously not," I gasped, fighting to keep my sled standing. "For starters, those blood pills you gave me taste like crap and don't work at all. Damn it...my head..."

Groaning in pain, I fall back against the door and slide down to the floor, biting back a scream. _Well this is new, _the little voice in my head taunted. _Maybe it's a little more than a small matter. _

"Shut up," I hissed through my teeth.

Though my senses seemed to have dulled with my now splitting migraine, I can feel someone crouch down beside me and I pray to God it's the Headmaster. Unfortunately, God isn't planning on being nice tonight.

"Headaches are a common effect of hunger. You'll have to learn to control them if you're going to live peacefully at this Academy."

_Wow, even his voice sounds powerful. This'll be fun to watch. _Kaname Kuran. Honestly, out of all the people I would have wanted to make me feel better right now, I would have chosen Satan over him. Not only is he a Pureblood but he's arrogant, self-centered and in all honestly, a complete smartass who gets on my nerves. What confuses me is that he's genuinely nice to me, even though I strive to be nothing but rude to him. Why that is, I don't know, but as he speaks, I can _feel _my headache getting worse. It's as if his presence is literally pains me.

Without a word, he reaches over and presses two fingers to my left temple. I retaliate, slapping his hand away and leaning away from him.

"Don't touch me!" I snapped, wrapping my arms around myself protectively.

"If you want to get better, you'll let me help you," He answered calmly, far too calmly for a man who could kill me with the flick of a wrist.

Thinking through my options, I have to conclude that he's right, mainly because I physically _can't _think without my head feeling like it's being ripped open but also because I don't think pain killers are going to affect this kind of pain.

Holding my breath, I close my eyes as he presses his fingers to my forehead again. In a few seconds, the pain recedes and I open my eyes to clear sight. No black spots or touches of dizziness. Nothing. _Hm, that was easy. And a little disappointed, to be honest._

"Thanks," I muttered as I try to stand, which goes surprisingly well considering I was prepared to pass out a few minutes ago.

Brushing off my brief attempt at civility, Kaname dives head-first into the lecture I knew was coming. "You'll have to take blood tablets more regularly to avoid situations like this. By starving yourself, you'll only out others in danger."

"Oh and I didn't know that," I replied sarcastically. "Thank you for notifying me."

Without giving him a chance to reply, I turn on my heel and storm out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I make my way back to my room, swearing and muttering under my breath as I do. Out of all the places I could have gone, I had to have ended up in the one place where a Pureblood lives.

It's the worst kind of luck and I seem to be running into it constantly these days.

* * *

English has always been a subject I enjoyed. It just seemed natural to me, like it had already been planted in my mind before I was born. I always did well in creative writing and I always enjoyed reading and evaluating novels, but right now, English seems to have fallen slightly on my favourites list.

Studying Bram Stoker's '_Dracula' _wasn't too insulting to me. Why be annoyed at a teacher who thinks vampires don't exist? It's irrational and unfair, so I let it go as soon as I receive the book. Zero, however, was beyond angry.

"Seriously?!" Zero hissed. "It's ridiculous-"

"Oh don't be such a child," I snapped back, loosing patience in a split second. "Bram Stoker's '_Dracula' _is a classic. Be happy you didn't get stuck with _'Emma'._"

"It both mocks us and gives being who we are some kind of appeal. How could you like something like that?"

"Oh, I don't think it mocks us. _'The world seems full of good men, even if there are monsters in it.' _? The philosophy is there, you just have to look for it."

Zero rolls his eyes and sits back in his chair, staring down at Yuki with the sort of intensity that a stalker possesses. I attempt to ignore him and read but his stare is incredibly distracting and I can't help but catch him on it.

"You know, staring can be thought of as rude," I whispered. "_Especially _when you do it like that."

Yet again, I receive a glare but as usual, it doesn't deter me. I slam my book shut, not bothering to mark my page considering I've read the book a hundred times before, and punch Zero hard in the shoulder. _That got his attention._

"Ouch!" He exclaimed, the loudness of his voice almost alerting the teacher. "And that was for?"

"Not reading your book and staring at Yuki in the creepiest manner possible," I replied. "I mean really, you could be a little more subtle and _not _distract me from a good book."

"A book about the one thing you claim to despise," Zero hissed, attempting to divert the conversation.

I let him have it. I'd much rather talk about books than Zero's imaginary love life. " _'What manner of man is this, or what manner of creature is it in the resemblance of a man?'. _Beasts in human form, right? That's what they are in real life to you and that is what they are in the book. It works quite well but Bram Stoker didn't give the most accurate description of vampires."

"And, let me guess, you know who did?" Zero remarked, staring at me hatefully with violet eyes.

"Anne Rice," I said. " '_A starving child is a frightful sight. A starving vampire, even worse.' _She was my mother's favourite and mine too. Mum gave me one of her books when I was eleven because I was so bored an-"

I stop myself halfway through the sentence, stunned at how I mentioned my mother so effortlessly. Usually, it takes some time to choke the word out, since it holds some significance for me and I often find I don't talk about either of my parents. But now, it just feels...unpleasantly strange.

The end of day bell rings, snapping me out of my daze. Zero sighs and below us, I can see Yuki's shoulders sag slightly. I know why. Patrols. Fangirls. Goddamn vampires.

"Get ready to die," I muttered to myself as I stood from my chair and walked out.

I slip in an earphone as I walk to my dorm, turning my music up loud and keeping my head down. I have a few minutes to put my books away and get to the Night Class gates before the stupid, idiotic Day Class girls get there first. I manage to make it in time to help Yuki but Zero, as usual, is nowhere to be found.

"Does he ever commit to anything?" I complained to Yuki whilst violently shoving a Day Class girl back who had been bugging me for a good five minutes.

"Well, yes but-" Yuki begins but is cut off as the Night Class' gates open and the screaming begins.

The girls around me begin to push and shove each other to try and get a better view but I keep them back, yelling enough insults and threats to keep them behind me. The girl I shoved before I learn, is especially persistent and as she attempts to step forward and get by me, I snap.

"Unless you want a black eye and a split lip, you will _stay _behind me."

_Well, aren't you scary? You know you'll have to live up to that threat one day? _The Night Class go by, all of them still sneaking a glance at me as they go. I know the majority of their names now, even though it took me a full day to remember them, and now, my threats, at least, hold some spice.

Hanabusa smirks at me as he passes and I give him a stare of death back.

"Ooo, so scary," He mocked, stopping to tease me. "I wonder if underneath all your hate, you actually love me like all the others?"

I literally have to hold back from bursting out into hysterical laughter. Instead I smile and cross my arms over my chest, which gets me a small look of fear.

"As much as I appreciate the attention, I'd rather you take the stupid smile and cheesy one-liners over to the main building. I'm sure the teachers will like it much better than I do."

Hanabusa stands stunned for a few seconds, clearly not used to a woman who can snap back at him. But unfortunately, he stands a few seconds to long.

"Unless you're going to collapse form the shock of getting owned, I suggest you move along before I start dragging you away," I said warningly, digging my nails into my forearms.

Behind him, Akatsuki laughs. "At least someone's out him in his place."

Feeling quite proud of myself, I put in my other headphone and turn up the music, drowning out the screams of the girls behind me. I do my best to ignore Kaname as he goes, although his smug smile makes it hard.

'_What manner of man is this, or what manner of creature is this in the resemblance of a man?'. _The words haunt me as the vampires make their way to the main building and the fangirls disperse. It's quite true, the quote. We are beasts in human form, us vampires. We speak and breathe like humans but we hunt and kill like animals.

We are the ultimate predators, the top of the food chain. And it disgusts me.

* * *

_A little girl sits on ledge of her window, admiring the view from her new home. She looks into the forest as the wind passes by, cherry blossom petals drifting with the draft as it ruffles her hair._

_The little girl smiles at the petals, her pointed fangs appearing with that smile. She could feel her sister's thoughts flow into her, like water flowing through a river. It was so petty really, that she enjoyed her sister's troubled thoughts but she couldn't help it. She was still a child, after all._

_"You should come inside," Her master's pet said, placing his hand on her shoulder. "It's not safe to be out in the open."_

_The little girl cocked her head at the horizon, as if questioning her master's pet._

_"Why?" She said. "I am neither in nor out. I'm simply sitting on the window ledge; half in, half out."_

_She heard him sigh unhappily and the little girl giggled at that. She liked to tease her master's pet and make him feel our of control._

_"Come along," He said, more forcefully this time. "She wishes to see you."_

_Boring, the little girl thought. Her master was fair but she was awfully dull. It was all gloom and doom with her master and it was never fun to be around her. But the little girl dealt with it. She valued her life far too much to say otherwise. _  
_Taking one last glance at the string of cherry blossom petals that drift along with the wind, the little girl said goodbye to her sister for now, patiently waiting for the next time she would be able to taunt and tease her._

_The little girl stepped back into the darkness, hiding her face from the world for another day._

* * *

**Three more days of school and then I'M OUT!**

**Oh Zero, I love you and your snippy attitude. Thank you to all those who reviewed. It's good to know people like my story. I'm gonna have to go through the manga and anime again to get the sequences in the right order but like I said, three days until school holidays, so I'm all good.**

**So read and review, telling me what you think. Criticism is appreciated but say it politely. I have run our of things to say so goodbye and I love you guys.**

**:P -HL**


	4. Alone

Chapter 3:

Alone

* * *

_'Though we were in shelter, we could hear the rising wind, for it moaned and whistled through the rocks, and the branches of the trees crashed together as we swept along. It grew colder and colder still, and fine, powdery snow began to fall, so that soon we and all around us were covered with a white blanket'._

My reading is interrupted by my yawning, which, at this late hour, has become uncontrollable. My nightmares have been keeping me awake and I thought maybe reading would help me grow tired but instead, it's only made me more alert and awake. _'Dracula' _can be scary at times but it usually only makes me more sensitive to loud noises.

And of course, there happens to be a loud noise just as I'm about to start reading again.

It sounded like glass shattering on the wood floor and it sounded close too. I place my book down on the table and walk out of the dining room into the dark hallway. The air is as cold as ever and I shiver as I walk in the direction of whispered voices.

As my eyes adjust to the darkness, I manage to make out the crumbled body that is Zero, who sits on the ground with a look of pain on his face. The Headmaster stands beside him, looking down at the silver-haired boy sadly as if to pity him. _Zero doesn't want pity, _I thought as I approached. _He wants to die. _

"I'll help him," I said, keeping my eyes on the Headmaster. "At least he might listen to force."

"I don't think-"

"Headmaster, I know how to deal with hunger like this. _Trust me._"

Even though I'm sure he's not convinced, the Headmaster nods and leaves, walking down the hall into the darkness. I wait until I'm sure he's gone until I say anything.

"Get up!" I hissed, no sympathy present in my voice.

Zero growls, the sound being reminiscent of a hungry predator rather than a human. His eyes glow crimson, just before he coughs and grunts in pain.

"Leave me alone," He groaned, wrapping his arms around himself.

I roll my eyes and kneel down, curling my fist around the collar of his shirt. "If I knew you wanted to be babied, I would have left you with the Headmaster. Now unless you want to stay here all night and end up attacking some poor idiot, I suggest you, _Get. Up." __  
_

I haul Zero to his feet, to which he yells out in pain and almost collapses again. Luckily, I still have a grip on his shirt and so he stays standing but I can tell standing is hard for him. A vampire's hunger is like wildfire; it spreads and spreads until it completely consumes you. And like a wildfire, it's beyond painful.

I manage to get Zero into the kitchen, where I sit him down and let him mope for a few seconds.

"Starving yourself isn't helping anyone, you know that?" I said as I poured a glass of water, pulling the blood tablets from my pocket as I do. "You're only putting people in danger when you do."

"If that's what it takes to be human, then I'll do it," Zero replied breathlessly.

"Oh no," I said. "You're not human anymore. The sooner you realise that, the sooner things like this won't bother you."

"And how do you know that?"

"Because I'm already there."

Sitting down next to Zero, I place the glass of water in front of him and drop a blood tablet into the liquid. The white pill dissolves in seconds, turning the clear water into red blood, or at least what passes for blood now days.

Zero stares at the glass with disgust, his jaw clenched tight in anger. I know how he feels. I remember having to choke down the tonic, the horrid taste of the artificial blood mixing with the taste of my salty tears. Those days were the worst. They were the days that could have broke me. They were the days I could have died inside and never emerged again. But luckily, my little hint of clarity broke through before that.

"The quicker it's over with, the better you'll feel. Believe me," I reassured him, thinking of various ways to coax him into drinking. In only a matter of seconds, I run out of options and Zero is still being as defiant as ever. _Plan B, then? _

Bringing my index finger up to my mouth, I prick the tip of my finger, my own hot blood dripping onto my tongue. Zero stiffens as soon as the blood spills and stays that way, his piercing violet eyes focusing intently on the countertop. Flicking my hair over one shoulder, I trace a short straight line of blood over a vein in my neck.

"Come on," I whispered seductively, leaning forward slightly so that the smell of my blood can overwhelm him. "Take what you want. I don't mind."

Physically shaking with the need to control himself, Zero clutches the countertop for dear life, his once steady and even breathing turning, once again, into short, ragged pants. _Come on, come on,_ I thought. _Take the bait. _

Under the pressure of hunger and the smell of my blood, I was hoping that Zero might fight for control and win, but like always, I tend to think too highly of people. He cracked.

Snatching my wrist, Zero flings me back, using strength I didn't realise he had. I hit the back wall hard but not as hard as I would have if I hadn't braced myself as soon as he grabbed me. In an instant, Zero stands in front of me, stepping in close and yanking my head to the side by my hair. I hiss in pain, feeling the animal side of me come out, but I don't stop him from sinking his fangs into my neck and drinking my blood.

"_Think_, Zero, think," I whispered, beginning to feel a little faint headed. "Gain a little control. Think about what you're doing. Let. Me. _Go._"

Somehow, my words hit home and Zero backs off, my own blood dripping down his chin. I sigh with relief, pushing myself off the back wall and rubbing my bloody neck.

"Don't feel guilty," I said, the look on Zero's face betraying him. "Every drop of my blood could be spilt and no one would care."

I grab Zero's untouched glass of sinthetic blood and drain it, feeling almost instantly better, although the taste of the blood overshadows that feeling slightly. With no explanation or warning, I leave with only a few words of advice to give.

"Burn that shirt; the Night Class will be able to smell me on you if you don't."

* * *

"Watch your footing. You'll trip if you don't watch what you're doing."

Three hours. That was all. Only three hours he said I would be training and here I am, _four _hours later, only halfway through whatever hell Yagari has planned. My whole body aches and I hardly even have time to stop and think. I can only act and usually, the way I act is wrong, according to Yagari.

Dropping my sword, I groan and sit down on the cold ground. My lungs are dying for air and I do my best to grant them that request but there's only so much oxygen I can take in at one time.

"How did Zero live through this?" I panted, wiping the sweat off my cheeks. "How does _anyone _live through this?"

"With practise," Yagari replied with no emotion at all. "Now get up."

I groan again, rubbing my tired eyes as I begin to stand up again. It's physically and mentally tiring, this training, and I can only take so much at a time. Yagari is determined to push me to my limits though and I am forced to go along with his wishes. I hadn't chosen him as a mentor but he had volunteered for some unknown reason, a reason he has not yet told me. I know he was Zero's mentor once, back when Zero had been the child of a hunter family. But that didn't matter anymore. Well, at least according the Yagari, who didn't like to talk about Zero or his family at all.

As I push myself to my feet, I feel a wave of pain wash over me, engulfing my body in a collection of agony. I collapse, my mouth open in a silent scream and my tattoo burning with a fire that only adds to the pain of my attack.

"Oh God," I gasped, raking my nails along at my burning neck. "Not again."

As the pain intensifies, I let myself scream, although I let no tears leave my eyes. My neck is wet now with blood, as my nails have cut into my skin and I have ceased to claw at it. I can feel Yagari's hand on my back and I can hear his consoling words but none of them stick and I don't understand any of it. There's only me and the wildfire like pain, spreading rapidly through my body, burning away the dry, dead shreds of my sanity. And just as suddenly as it began, the pain stops.

"Tori," Yagari exclaimed, shaking me back to myself. "Tori!"

I feel beyond exhausted, my muscles aching after the kick of adrenaline and pain they experienced. I have no voice to speak and no energy to burn. But somehow, I manage to make it over to the bench to sit myself down and hold my wounds together.

"Oh God, I haven't had an attack like that in six months," I groaned, my hands still slick with my own blood. "I'm getting worse."

"You shouldn't be," Yagari said. "You've only been a vampire for a year and a half. It shouldn't be happening this quickly."

"Well, _it is. _I'm dying and I know it. Isn't that enough?"

The sound of high heels clicking on concrete echoes throughout the training room just before a new voice enters the conversation.

"If you were dying, you'd be in a hospital, baby girl. Not at a prissy ass private school that houses vampires."

I look up to see who it is, since the voice is unfamiliar to me, and I am shocked to find a woman with my mother's face and crooked smile. For a spilt second, I even think it's my mother but my mother would never wear tight leather pants and six-inch tall high heeled black boots. Besides, my mother is dead and this woman is alive.

"Adelaide, what are you doing here?" Yagari sighed, turning to face the woman with an annoyed gaze.

"If you don't think screaming from a little girl isn't going to attract attention, you're a lot more naive than I thought, Yagari," Adelaide chuckled, unzipping her leather jacket and revealing her grey tank top underneath. "Jesus it's hot in here. Don't you know what air conditioning is?"

"Adelaide, can you please get the hell out?" Yagari snapped. "I _am _trying to help your niece, after all."

_Niece? _I can't help but be confused at this. I've never had any aunts or uncles. Both my parents were only children. How could I have an aunt? Unless...

"How are you my aunt?" I asked, ignoring my hot, bloody neck. "My parents...they never had any siblings-"

"No, they didn't did they?" Adelaide chuckled, raking a hand through her dark brown hair. "Or at least, that's what your mother told you."

"My mother was normal."

"According to her, she was. Hey Yagari, mind leaving us be so I can explain to my lovely niece what the hell is going on?"

Yagari rolls his eyes but agrees, turning and leaving the room without much fuss.

"Does the bet still stand?" Yagari asked as he leaves, smiling at Adelaide with the kind of smile I didn't think he was capable of.

Adelaide smiles back and crosses her arms over her chest. "Definitely not, sugartits."

Yagari laughs but leaves without saying another word. Adelaide rolls her eyes and walks over, her sky blue eyes reminding me so painfully of my mother. She gently lifts my head and examines my neck, blood still leaking from the wound. With a sigh, she lifts me to my feet and puts an arm around my shoulder to guide me away.

"Come on, baby girl," She whispered. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Leading me through the winding halls of the Hunter's Association, keeping me out of sight from other hunters but well enough on track; Adelaide never says a word during all this. She only stares ahead, not daring to meet my eye. We make it to one of the closed off bathrooms, my blood covering her hands at this point, and she sits me down on the cold, tiled floor.

"Wow, you really did do a nice job of that, didn't you?" Adelaide said, pressing a wet cloth to my neck. It stings but it's nothing compared to the pain I experienced before.

"Honest answer," I said, getting straight to the point. "Who are you?"

Adelaide sighed, frowning slightly at my bloody claw marks. "Your aunt. Your mother's sister, to be exact."

"My mother never had any siblings."

"That she knew of. My mother gave her up the day after she was born. My mother was fourteen when she had your mother. She was too young and too focused on being a hunter to take care of a child. So she gave up your mother and never saw her again. She told me she regretted it, giving up your mother. She said I probably needed an older sister in my life. I grew up in a family of brothers, so..."

"You're telling me I have uncles as well?"

Adelaide smiled. "Three to be exact. Ma, she uh...she decided she wanted a big family when she finally settled down. I'm the baby of the family, being the youngest. I grew up wrestling brothers to the ground and tending to bruises rather than annoying sisters and begging to play. Ma never thought that was a good environment for me but I enjoyed it anyway."

"So...my mother was a vampire hunter?"

Adelaide rolled her eyes, as if she had already explained this already. She's made surprisingly fast progress on my neck, as it is now mostly clean of all blood, leaving only my hands slathered in the now dried substance.

"Well, not exactly," Adelaide explained, as she stood up to grab a bandage out of the first aid kit she had found earlier. "She had vampire hunter blood but she wasn't a hunter. She had no training and no knowledge of this world. So, no, she wasn't a hunter."

I turn my head, exposing my neck to her. "Did you ever meet her? My mother?"

"No," Adelaide replied. "No, I didn't. I always knew I had an older sister who I never met but...I only found out about you and your sister about two years ago. I'm sorry about Zali, by the way."

I shrug, unaffected by the apology. "Did your brothers meet her?"

"No, they didn't either. Will and Aiden wanted to meet her but not Luke. I think Luke just wanted things to be the same as they were instead of changing everything by introducing someone new into the family. He'll like you though; from what I've heard, you two are twins."

I laugh, although my laugh holds hardly any amusement and more nervous energy. I hiss as Adelaide places the bandage on my neck, the anaesthetic dulling the pain but also agitating me. I have the strange feeling that my new-found aunt is hiding something from me. I want to know more about my mother and my family but Adelaide doesn't give me the chance as she hauls me to my feet and sends me away.

I get back to the Academy with questions and thoughts buzzing in my head. What are my uncles like? Do I have any cousins? Why didn't Luke want to see my mother? How am I involved in this? All these questions have no answers but I know one thing for sure.

I am no longer alone in this world.

* * *

**It is far too late to be up right now but what the hell...**

**Sorry about this short chapter but I'm saving stuff for later and I'm kinda scared I'm giving too much away right now. There will be longer chapters soon, just bare with me. Thank you for your reviews and support. It honestly makes me feel good and helps me write good chapters. **

**Question; how are you all liking my story so far? Just curious but it also helps me. Read and Review and be patient. **

**I'll try to get the next chapter up relatively quickly, plus I'm finally off school (Hell yes, Year 8) So I'm basically doing nothing all day. **

**Legitimately...-HL**


	5. Unpaid Debts

Chapter 4:

Unpaid Debts

* * *

"Do you ever stop reading?"

Zero's voice is the only thing that brings me out of my reading daze. It's unfortunate really, considering I was reaching a good part in '_The Great Gatsby'_ and I hate being interrupted at times like this.

Slamming my book shut and shifting my long hair out of my eyes, I turn my head toward Zero and sigh, tapping my fingers on the hard cover.

"Do you ever stop stalking Yuki?" I said sarcastically, knowing full well I'm diving head-first into an argument. "No, I don't think you do. So please excuse me from reading for enjoyment, considering you enjoy something that is illegal."

Zero rolls his eyes but I can see a red tone rise in his cheeks and I cannot help but smile at that. Zero is not easily caught off guard and I enjoy seeing him squirm under pressure. It's a sick pleasure, I know, but what else am I meant to do in this god-awful place except read, listen to music and torment people?

Flipping open my book to a random page, I place my finger on a random line and read it aloud. " '_One time he killed a man who had found out that he was nephew to Von Hindenburg and second cousin to the devil'. _Hm...that reminds me of something."

Even though I didn't know he was listening, Zero is nice enough to engage in conversation.

"What does it remind you of?" He asked, leaning back into his seat.

I smile sadly, tapping the page lightly. "A certain Pureblood."

Before Zero can respond, the classroom door opens and our new teacher walks in. I can't say I'm not surprised when Adelaide walks in, her long dark hair pulled back into a high bun and her hunting gear replaced for a rather short black skirt, white blouse and glossy black heels. I see about ten of the Day Class boys heads come up and follow Adelaide as she approaches the desk and I can't help but laugh.

Adelaide throws her things on the desk and turns to face the whole class. Even from here, I can see her deep blue eye shadow that matches her eyes and her pale pink lipstick that makes her skin look a lot paler than it is. A lollipop stick sticks out of the corner of her mouth. She winks at me, before proceeding to tell the class how things will be done.

"Alright, children," She sighed, pulling the lollipop out of mouth. "I'm gonna tell you how this shit's gonna work. I talk, you all listen. I give you assignments and homework, you all agree to it and don't mumble and groan. I am God here, end of story. And Tori, I can see that smug smile on your face. Please wipe it off."

That only made me laugh harder.

* * *

"How the hell did you get a teaching degree?"

Adelaide laughs, shaking her head as she does. After class, I had managed to find her hiding out the back of the school, cigarette in hand and hair out. Up close, her eyes looked red and tired, as of she had been crying, but when I had asked her what was wrong, she had said everything was fine. Even though I knew she was lying to me, I went along with the mood and managed to steal a cigarette off her as well.

Sitting down on the grass with our backs leaning against the tall school wall, Adelaide and I get to know each other a little better.

"Hunter's Association can do a lot of things for you," Adelaide said. "That and Kaien thought it best that I was here for you, so...go figure."

"Oh, so I have a babysitter now?" I laughed, putting the cigarette to my lips and inhaling.

"Don't think of me as a babysitter. More as a...rather close bodyguard."

"So a stalker then?"

Adelaide shakes her head and punches me playfully in the arm. "Sure, whatever."

I smile and inhale the addictive fumes again, my taste buds remembering the distinctive taste well. Adelaide cocks her head at me, pursing her lips slightly.

"I didn't think eighteen year olds knew how to smoke," She said, placing the cigarette between her lips.

"Seventeen. And only the minority," I replied. "I uh...I had some bad habits...back home. Might have...drank a bit too much and dabbled in a few illegal substances. Oh and not to forget, I...kinda slept around."

Adelaide chuckles dryly, shaking her head. "Slut. Wouldn't have pegged you for one though."

"I know; most don't. But yeah...I was a bit of a wild child."

"How much is a bit?"

I turn my gaze skyward, thinking silently on the question. When I finally come to a conclusion, I have to admit, I'm a little ashamed.

"Probably a little more than a bit."

Adelaide rolls her eyes and blows out smoke, giving me the annoying urge to cough. Despite her 'bad-girl' attitude, I like Adelaide. She's fun and she doesn't judge, unlike so many others around me. She's willing to help me through things and she understands what I'm going through. Plus, anyone who smuggles me cigarettes is good in my book.

"How old are you, Adelaide?" I asked, throwing my dead cigarette away.

"Twenty going on twenty-one," She replied, checking her painted black nails for chiped polish. "I'm youngest by three years. I was a surprise, apparently. It's funny really, that both of the daughters my mother had were mistakes."

The phrase obviously didn't bother Adelaide, as she continued to smoke and stare out into the green forest surrounding the school, but it caused something to snap inside me, a realisation I had not yet encountered. My mother had been a mistake. An illegitimate child. She had never mentioned anything about her family and I had never know my grandparents on her side of the family but I never assumed she was adopted. I had thought that maybe there had been some disagreement and they didn't speak anymore. Obviously, my assumption was wrong.

"I should get going," I sighed, letting my worried thoughts drop from my mind. "Patrols."

"Oh...right, I forgot. There are Aristocrats here," Adelaide said, staring blankly into open space. "And a Pureblood, I hear."

Even the slight mentioning of Kaname makes me feel as if I could vomit but I let go of my anger and wave Adelaide goodbye before I walk away. As a headache begins to surface, I have the nagging need for another cigarette, a need I knew would come back as soon as I took one from Adelaide. I ignore the feeling, unconsciously chewing on the inside of my cheek to distract myself.

Once I reach the gates of the Moon Dorm, I can already tell I'm late. Zero has actually shown up for once and is helping Yuki keep back the screaming girls as best they can. Zero glares at me as I walk up to them, his violet eyes piecing straight through to my soul.

"Where were you?!" He snapped as I push a Day Class girl back into the crowd.

"Smoking and talking with Adelaide," I replied, my tone just as unwelcoming as his. "What? You gonna stalk me now?"

"Shut up, Tori!"

"Go fuck yourself, Zero."

My harsh words seem to surprise him but his chance to snap back at me is cut off when the Moon Dorm gates open and the Night Class emerge. The screams of the Day Class girls only annoys me even more and I come quite close to punching a girl in the nose but something else catches my attention.

Kaname and Zero had somehow gotten in a, surprisingly, calm looking argument and by the looks of the other Night Class students, Zero said something he most definitely shouldn't have.

"Hey!" I yelled, walking over and stepping between the two. "Kuran, you have class to attend and Zero, we have patrols. Now, it would be convenient if the two of you could stop acting like five-year olds fighting over a toy and go back to doing those things. It would do great things for my patience, which, to be completely honest, is running quite thin right now."

Kaname smiles smugly, leaning forward so his face is only inches away from mine.

"I was only asking how Zero was," Kaname said, the tone of his voice making my blood boil. "And how are you, Victoria? Are you feeling alright?"

It was like a rubber band had been stretched too far inside me, pulling and pulling until the band finally snapped. I think it was the use of my full name that did it. That was breaking point for me. And it did not prove well for either of us.

In a flash, I had my fist up and I put all my strength into the one swing, which would have hit Kaname's face, had Zero not held me back with all his strength. I hissed and snarled like an animal, screaming bloody murder on the Pureblood. There was no sign of surprise in Kaname's eyes, no sense of danger or fear. He just stood up straight, put on that stupid 'I-thought-so' smile and walked away.

Zero doesn't bother waiting for me to calm down. He drags me away to the stables, smashes me up against the wall and stares at me with angry eyes.

"You had no right to step in!" He yelled. "It was my fight, not yours."

"So what?!" I hissed, shoving him back. "I hate that guy just as much as you. The only difference between you and me on the matter is that I'm willing to through a goddamn punch!"

"What makes you think I'm not?!"

"Everything! You sulk around him like a child and only glare at him when he insults you. A word of advice, Zero; grow some balls and stop moping. Not everyone is going to do the hard things for you!"

Like flicking off a light switch, my body collapses as the beginnings of an attack ravage my being. The wildfire spreads more quickly than I remember it could, engulfing me in the horrible fiery pain of bloodthirsty hunger. I scream, covering my ears to block out the sound of my own pained voice.

I can feel Zero's hands on me, pulling and tugging me, but I resist, fighting back the tears that are utterly close to the surface. I freeze, despite the pain, when I feel his lips on my ear.

"Tori," He said calmly, his arm around my shoulders. "Tori, I need you to listen to me. You have to do exactly what I say or this will only get worse, do you understand?"

I nod, biting my lip hard to muffle a whimper.

"Good," He answered. "I need you to sit up and look at me, okay? Can you do that for me?"

I nod again, the taste of blood staining my mouth as I bite down on my lip even harder. Slowly, I raise myself up and force my eyes to Zeros. It wasn't my mind that acted after that. It was all instinct, raw vampire instinct that I tried so hard to keep under control.

I pounced, shoving Zero back onto the hay and pinning him there with inhuman strength. Before Zero can stop me, I lower my head down to his neck, the sound of his steady heartbeat echoing in my ears, and sink my fangs into his skin.

In the beginning, it was just bliss. The sheer bliss of feeding that filled me was all there was and I enjoyed it, despite my better judgement. But then something worse came. Images, memories, scenes flashed by my eyes, each of them belonging to Zero and Zero alone. I saw a woman with blonde hair and man with silver hair that matches Zeros. I saw a boy who looks exactly like Zero, smiling and laughing in the snow. I saw a woman with long silver hair and sad crimson eyes, sitting in a beautiful cherry blossom tree. Then, as if I was reliving the memories of my parents deaths, I saw blood. Blood on the floor, blood on Zero's parents and blood on the mouth of the beautiful silver haired woman. She looked down at me with her sad eyes and smiled, the blood of Zero's parents staining her mouth.

"It's painful, isn't it?" She said. "Are you scared?"

And then, without explanation, I snap back out of whatever version of reality I had just entered and release Zero from my grasp. I scramble back until my back hits the stable wall, Zero's blood dripping down my chin, and stare, wide-eyed, at Zero. He gives me a confused look, since he does not know what I have just seen.

_This _is what I was afraid of. This...power I possess. It's like a drug, once I've done it, I have to do it again. I've only ever done it one other time, to Zali when I drank her blood. I saw her memories, I saw her pain, I saw her laughter, I saw her _love..._I saw everything. I had fully accessed every memory and thought she had ever had and I hadn't even realised it. I never told anyone I could do this, not the Hunters nor anyone else. It's only me that knows. _Only me. _And I intend to keep it that way. But now, I'm afraid that might not be the case.

"Why did you let me do that?" I gasped, shaking as the tears I had been holding back slip from the corners of my eyes.

"Repaying a debt," Zero replied, placing a hand on his neck to check the damage.

I hadn't done too much, just bitten him, and there wasn't much blood but I knew what else I had done and Zero did not. It sickened me.

"You owe me no debt," I whispered, swallowing down the horrible taste in my mouth which became mixed with the taste of Zero's blood.

"I do," He replied, staring at me with sad eyes. "And I wanted to help you. After all, we're both damned to hell anyway. Why not help each other in the process?"

Filled with guilt, I let myself cry as I bring my hands up to my face and sob softly. Zero comes over and holds me, letting me cry into his shoulder. I feel so despicable, so arrogant. _Tell him. Tell him what you did. Maybe then your guilt will go away. _Shaking my head, I pull away from Zero with a jerk, standing quickly and wiping the tears off my face.

"You don't know what I've done," I said, turning my back to him.

"You don't know anything about me. I don't need your help and I don't need your sympathy. All I need is for you to have control and not act like I just did."

Before he can respond, I take off at full pelt, wiping the taste of Zero'e blood from my mouth. I feel so stupid for letting myself go, for becoming so vulnerable in an hundredth of a second. It's not a case of a wounded ego; it's a case of a broken heart. No one will ever know my pain nor will I want them to. Keeping people at an arms length is the only way I can keep myself in check. It's the only way everyone can be safe.

I manage to get through night patrols without running into Zero at any moment. My senses seem to have been heightened thanks to Zero's blood, so I'm as jumpy as ever and just as I'm about to walk back to my dorm, I can already sense the Aristocract vampires stalking me.

"Might as well come out," I yelled, my hand hovering over the dagger strapped to my leg. "I could hear you all walking through the bushes ten minutes ago."

The Night Class steps out from their hiding spots, their white uniforms shining slightly in the darkness. Ruka stares at me with fiery hate along with Hanabusa, while the others only look along with mild interest. I could only guess what this is all about but I'm hoping for an original excuse this time around.

"What do you all want?" I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm in a bad mood and if you're nice, I may just let you all go without broken limbs."

"So scary," Hanabusa teased. "But not scary enough. No one, no one, insults Lord Kaname and walks away scot-free."

I laugh, shaking my head. "And here I was thinking there might be some original reason for this ambush. Guess I was wrong."

Hanabusa's blue eyes darken. The ground beneath his feet turns to ice until it spreads under my feet. The ice creeps up my left foot, encasing it comes, tell and trapping me where I stand. _Well, this'll be interesting._

One of the Night Class lunges at me from behind, to which I swerve away from and pull the dagger out from under my skirt. I slash him across his face, leaving a small but obviously painful cut, then I shove him away whilst trying to regain my balance.

"Intresting," I panted, my left leg beginning to go numb. "I never thought of vampires as pack animals. And since when did twelve Aristocrats against one poor hunter become fair?"

"And this is coming from the girl who was threatening us a few minutes ago," Rule hissed.

I begin to feel the ice creep up my right leg and I begin to panic, thinking through all my options in short, hurried thoughts. Then, something just clicks.

Turning my eyes to Hanabusa, I feel a sort of connection snap into place, giving me my gateway to his mind. That's it, Tori. Keep going. Make him suffer. Make him hurt. Using the remainder of energy I possess, I force myself into his mind and simply think 'pain'.  
The ice encasing my foot evaporates as Hanabusa collapses onto the ground, screaming in pain. No one runs over to see what's wrong. The other vampires only stare at me with wide-eyes as if I just walked on water. Now free, I pull myself out of his mind, letting his pain fade away and exhaustion settle inside me. Whatever I just did, it exhausted me and that worries me, considering I might just be in more of a fight than before.

But I'm wrong. The Aristocrats let me leave, only staring at me as I run toward the dorms. What did I do? That wasn't normal, by any vampires standards, but it wasn't exactly unseen before. Purebloods could do things like that. But not vampires like me. No, not at all.

As I enter my room and prepare for bed, one question remains in my head, haunting me with it's significance.

If I'm not what I think I am, _then what am I?_

* * *

**Nanananana PLOT TWISTS! Oh my God, that was pathetic...**

**Okay, so there's my chapter! I made it a tad longer to make up for my short chapter the other day, so I hope you like it. Thank you everyone for the support; It is amazing to know that people love my story. I love it too :). **

**Another question, (I'm probably starting to sound annoying now): What do you guys think of Adelaide? I didn't know whether or not to put her into the story but It bought, since I made the effort to make up up in my head, I should put her in. **

**So Review, tell me what you think and answer my question, if you want of course, annnnnd I love you guys. -HL**


	6. Blood and Pain

Chapter 5:

Blood and Pain

* * *

It was the smell of blood that set me off in the morning. It was faint, hardly even there anymore, but I could smell it and it annoyed me.

I manage to haul myself out of bed without vomiting from the smell and pull on my uniform. I twist my hair into a bun, my eyes looking red and tired in the mirror. I feel like I'm suffering through a hangover but I know it's only a comedown from my feeding yesterday. It always happens that way and it makes me crave a cigarette, which I know Adelaide won't give me during class.

The stench of blood becomes even more overwhelming as I walk to class, my music not being enough to distract me as I walk. My stomach churns as I sit down in my seat, Zero's seat beside me being vacant and empty. It's both a relief and a worry, as it would at least be nice to have someone to talk me through the day.

Yuki walks by and sits down below me, just as a wave of that strong, sweet smelling blood hits me full-force in the face. That's when everything snaps into place. That's Yuki's blood I'm smelling. That was Yuki's blood I smelt in the air this morning. And I know exactly how and why it's there.

I bolt up out of my seat and run, bursting out of the classroom and sprinting toward the boys dorms. I swear under my breath, my hair falling out of it's bun and blowing out behind me in the wind. It's so stupid really, that I didn't think about this before I left Zero in the stable. I had taken too much blood and that made him just as hungry as I had been. It was a mistake. It was an accident. And it was my fault.

Bounding up the stairs and storming through to halls, I make it to Zero's room. I bang on the door, not bothering to be polite.

"Zero, get your ass out here!" I yelled, panting from my sprint. "_Zero!" _

With no answer, I loose all patience and barge in the door. I find the room empty of all things, except for Zero, who holds his Bloody Rose to his head, finger on the trigger.

"Zero!"

I lunge at him, grabbing the gun and pulling it from his grasp. Losing my balance, I tumble over and crash to the floor, pulling Zero with me. Zero uses my moment of vulnerability to flip me over and pin me to the ground, the sadness in his eyes piercing my soul. He sits back, the Bloody Rose in his right hand.

"Zero..." I whispered, reaching up to him. "Don't do this..."

"Why not?" He snapped his voice sounding unbelievably calm. "I don't want to live like this. I don't want to _be _this."

"No one does," I answered. "I don't want to Zero, but that's no reason to give up."

"How do I know what you want? You said it yourself; I don't know you and you don't know me. Why should you care if I die?"

I bite my lip, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves as the conversation turns to a subject I do not want to talk about.

"Stop it," I whispered, placing a hand on Zero's gun.

"Stop what?" Zero asked, his tone sounding just as hushed as mine.

"Stop acting like nothing hurts you. I should know; I do exactly the same thing. _Stop. _It doesn't help the pain and it doesn't help the sorrow. It never does anything, Zero. It only hurts those around you. So please..._please..._put the gun away."

Doubt flashes by Zero's face and I can only hope that I've gotten through to him. Luckily, I had. Zero sat back, crawling back to the wall and leaning up against it, exhausted. I sigh with relief, sitting up and raking a hand through my hair. Zero stares into open space, his tired eyes still filled with so much sadness that it breaks my heart to look at him.

I crawl over to Zero, swallowing down my fear of being found out and place a hand on Zero's cheek. His eyes lighten up again, glistening with unspilt tears.

"Look Zero," I said. "I know we...haven't got along so well. I know I've been a bitch and I'm sure you know you've been a bit of an ass but...I..._do _think that we can help each other. You...you don't have to hide anymore. I'm here. You can come to me when something's wrong. You can come to me, I swear. Just please...don't do anything like this again. There are people around who love you, even if you can't see it."

Zero stares at me with a confused gaze. "What changed?"

I smile sadly, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear. "Not much. But I know a lot more about you than you'd think."

Without thinking, I lean forward and kiss Zero on the forehead, before standing and leaving the room, picking up the gun as I go. Once I make it outside, I can't help but collapse out the front of the dorm, exhaustion and sadness weighing heavy on my bones.

I'm getting weak. I promised myself I wouldn't let anyone know my story, as it isn't their pain to share. But I feel like I'm dying inside, like the truth of reality is eating away at me along with this stupid affliction. I cannot go on like this. It's ridiculous, since I spent a year and a half of being silent and distant. I feel like I'm drowning and that is killing me. I need to get out. I need to breathe.

And I can't do that whilst guarding so many secrets.

* * *

Sending us out to run errands was the Headmaster's idea of blowing off steam. Not mine. To me, it wasn't a way of blowing off steam. It was a method of torture meant to test my skills at lying and dodging questions.

I was perfectly fine with lying on my bed, listening to music and forcing myself to sleep, but obviously that didn't turn out the way I planned. I was hauled out of bed and made to leave with hardly any time to even brush my hair out.

I comb my fingers through my knotted hair as I walk beside Yuki, an earphone in my ear with '_The Love Club' _by Lorde playing. If anything, music will always out me in a reasonably good mood. I hum along to the words, working my hair into a braid just as Yuki ruins my already fragile mood.

"What are you listening to?" She asked, her bright smile only ticking me off that little but more.

"Music," I said through gritted teeth. "I thought that much was obvious."

Yuki frowns, giving me a look of pity that I don't want or deserve. "Are you alright? You seem really snappy at the-"

"Maybe it would help if you wouldn't pester me with stupid questions that can easily be answered through observation."

I can see Zero's mouth twitch as if he's forcing himself not to smile and I have the distinct feeling he likes to see Yuki under pressure. I keep my mouth shut for the rest of the walk into town, convinced that if I speak, I'll only cause more trouble than I can handle.

People stare at us as we walk, their gaze piercing our souls with such an intensity that I can't help but want to stare right back. I have no courage at this point though, as this a hunter's town and I have no voice or power here, no matter who I know or who I am related to. Like Zero, I am an outcast. We only have each other at this point.

The three of us wander around town running the errands The Headmaster wanted done. Yuki does most of them, whilst Zero and I follow a few steps behind her, talking quietly, making sure that she can't hear us.

"Truce," I said, keeping my eyes on he back of Yuki's head. "No more fights. No more arguing. Just helping each other. That good enough?"

Zero nods, looking down at the ground with guilty eyes. I know how he feels more than most. At least he hadn't killed Yuki like I did Zali. At least he wasn't that much of an animal that he couldn't stop himself. At least I may be able to get him to forgive himself for this with Yuki's help. I'll never forgive myself for what I did. And no one can tell me otherwise.

"What are you so afraid of?" Zero asked.

"Huh? What do you mean?" I said, confused by his question.

"You never talk about your life. You never say anything about your family or your old friends. It's like your life began and ended there and you've been reborn somehow here."

I bite my bottom lip, quickly running through a list of excuses and diversions. Unfortunately, that list is surprisingly short and none of the excuses are good enough. _Oh God, here we go. _

"I'm not afraid of anything," I answered, wrapping my arms around myself. "No asks, so I don't tell them. Simple."

Zero clenches his jaw, turning his head to look at me. "I think there's more to it than that."

I shake my head, too frightened of what I might say to respond. I look to the horizon just beyond Yuki, hoping for a distraction. Instead, I find something completely unexpected and even worse.

"Shit!" I hissed, grabbing Yuki's arm and tugging her back into an alleyway along with Zero.

I take slow, deliberate breaths as I hide from my ex-boyfriend. He's one of many but he was the most abusive out of all of them. I was only with him because of a one night stand. He got attached and only with the help of my parents and the police was I able to get him away from me.

"Oh fuck, what is he doing here?" I gasped, covering my mouth with my hands to stop myself from speaking too loud.

"Who is it?" Yuki asked, just a little too loud.

"Shhh," I hissed, pressing myself up against the wall.

I watch as he passes, his black hair standing out in the bright light of day. I still remember the first day he got violent, how he hit me and called me a whore. How he made feel so small and insignificant, like I never even matter to anyone or anything. It was horrible and unfair and I was sure I'd never see him again. _So sure and yet here he is. _

Once I'm sure he's gone, I slump against the wall, sliding down the wall until I hit the ground. I bury my face in my hands, too ashamed of my own cowardice to even look at Yuki and Zero and give them an explanation. It feels like finally all those secrets I've Ben keeping have caught up to me. And I have no other option but to tell them all.

Eventually, Zero manages to coax me out of the alleyway with kind words that I didn't know he was capable of. It seems my bad opinion of Zero is based on past judgements now and I seriously need to think of improving it. He's a lot better than I originally thought.

Yuki guards our booth in the ice cream parlour, her eyes filled with worry as she watches me sit down and crush myself up against the wall again. My hands shake as I turn down the music blasting in my ears and I have to force myself to stop before I can even begin to speak.

"_Now, _would be a good time to tell us what the hell that was," Zero said, sounding a little more firm than before.

I sigh, fiddling with my other earphone nervously. "I'd rather tell you both later. It's nothing really-"

"I don't think _nothing _scares you enough to pull us all into an alley to hide."

I swallow hard, trying to force down the lump in my throat. I don't want to tell them of my past, not when I've worked so hard to keep the past firmly in the past. But I'm tired, tired of lying and hiding and sneaking around questions. I want to stop. I _need _to stop.

"I'll tell you both when we get back, I promise," I said. "You have to understand. I...I don't lime talking about my past and my family because of...a...particular reason. Can you both trust me to know that I'll tell you eventually?"

Zero and Yuki both frown and look at each other with disbelief. That somehow pushes the wrong button inside me and I push my way out of the seat, stepping over Zero and landing on the ground. I make my way out, my craving for a cigarette becoming almost unbearable at this point.

As I step out into the streets, a certain scent catches my attention. Unlike this morning, it's not the smell of blood. No, it would be too simple for it to be the smell of blood. It's the smell of a Level E.

I hear the door behind me open and I turn to see Zero emerge from the parlour. He has a sour look on his face and I suspect it has more to do with something that happened after I left rather than my reluctance to answer his questions. He goes to talk to me but I hold up a hand, signalling him to be quiet.

"You smell that?" I asked, my eyes scanning the area around us briefly.

I hear Zero growl, a low growl that most would barely hear but with my enhanced hearing, I can most definitely hear it. Without a word, we both head out, tracking the vampire as best we can. The sickly sweet smell of blood begins to flood my nose and I almost gag when I find the source.

A woman, about twenty-five years old, lays lifelessly on the ground at my feet, hidden behind buildings so that no one can see her. Her dead eyes stare into open space, reminding me of my parents when they died, and blood still leaks from the bite mark on her neck. I kneel down and close her eyes, the smell of her blood making it hard for me to retain my control.

"We should find this thing quick," I said, standing up.

But I was only talking to open space, as Zero has disappeared, probably run off to do the job I just suggested. Just as I'm about to back-track and try to find the Level E away from the smell of the dead girl's blood, I hear something that tells me where to go.

"Zero!" She yelled, her voice not sounding too far away.

In an instant, my brain goes into auto-pilot and I'm using only my pure instinct to find my way to Yuki and Zero. I make my way through the winding alleyways, running as fast as I can until I finally find the two. Zero stands between Yuki, who has fallen to the ground, and the Level E, who's revealed it's true self with clawed hands and red glowing eyes.

Without even thinking, I pull out my dagger and lunge forward, slashing the blade sideways and severing it's head from it's body. It's death seemed almost too quick, too sudden but the vampire was dead and that was all that really mattered to me.

With my adrenaline kick wearing off, I feel my muscles contract and complain from overuse. I groan and press my hand to my head, feeling a nasty headache come on quickly.

"You guys alright?" I asked, wincing as my headache turns into a slight migraine.

"We're fine," Zero replied, pulling Yuki to her feet.

"Well, there really _was _no need for us to be here, was there?"

The sound of someone's voice behind me almost made me jump, had it not been that I heard them coming a few seconds before. I spin on my heel to face them and I am met with the faces of Takuma and Senri, two of the Night Class students who probably aren't doing too well in this sun. _  
_

"Can you two explain to me what the hell you're doing here?" I snapped, my headache making it hard to concentrate.

"Yuki," Takuma said, completely ignoring my question. "Would you please do us a favour and bind that wound of yours? It'll excite our senses and by the looks of Victoria here, I can tell it's bothering her."

Gritting my teeth, I manage to glare at the Aristocrat through the pain. "It's Tori. Victoria is a name my mother used to call me and since she's dead, I'll ask you to not say it."

Takuma smiles, pissing me off just that little bit more and continues his explanation. "You want to know _why _we were here today? Come back to the Moon Dorm later tonight. We'll fill you in on the details there."

As they walk away, I have to hold myself together as I lean against the wall and groan in pain. My headache has spread throughout my body, if that's even possible, out to the tips of my fingers and slowly making it's way down to my abdomen. I gag, forcing myself to breathe in and out despite my discomfort.

"Tori," Zero whispered, his hands resting lightly on my arms as if to hold me up. "What's wrong?"

"Pain..." I gasped, whimpering as the pain intensifies. "I can't...I can't see...Oh God...help me."

They are the last words I manage to get out before I pass out, words that are not my own filling my head.

_You think you know pain? I will show you pain. And it shall be worse than you have ever known. _

* * *

**I. Am. Dead. **

**Word of advice guys, do not take up swimming as a sport. It shall ruin and murder you. **

**Thanks for the reviews everyone and the follows (HELLO NEW PEOPLE), I appreciate and love them all. _Saphizcool: _Zero and Tori will have there time soon. Just be patient...**

**Anyway, there's the chapter. I have no question this time around because I feel like I'm pestering you guys. But if YOU have any questions, just ask and I will definitely answer them. Seriously. I have nothing to do with my life at the moment. It would be a blessing to answer all your questions. **

**Read, Review and follow and favourite and yadayadayada. I'm going to stop annoying everyone now. Love you guys -HL**


	7. Level Ground

Chapter 6:

Level Ground

* * *

The world around me spins as I come into consciousness, coughing and spluttering for air as I try to sit up. My body is in agony, but a good kind of agony, the kind that means I am healing from whatever damage I sustained after I passed out. My vision clears out as I blink a few times, groaning with the effort of sitting up.

I find myself lying in my bed, in my own room with the lights turned out and the curtains drawn. Sunlight peeks around the edges of the curtains, illuminating portions of my face. The room is silent but I have the distinct feeling of being in the presence of another person, who has managed to stay incredibly quiet as I woke.

"Zero..." I muttered, rubbing my eyes to help them adjust. "You stayed?"

"I wanted to ask you something," Zero said, his silver hair being the only thing I can see clearly of him. He holds something in his hands, something that I can't see in the dark.

I laugh softly, dragging my fingers through my hair. "You must be very eager to ask me then. Go ahead. Let's see if my brain wishes to cooperate."

Zero stands and walks over to me, sitting down next to me on the bed. I can now see that the thing in his hands is my dagger, the one I must have dropped when I passed out. He turns it over and over in his hands, studying it with a strange intensity that worries me.

"I gave you blood," Zero said, a dark tone settling on his voice. "I gave you blood _two days ago. _How is it, that after two days, you have an attack?"

I'm stunned. I had always thought Zero was suspicious of me, but suspicious enough to accuse me of lying about how far along I was in my turning. Why would I lie? I've tried so hard to make sure I keep myself in check and keep everyone around me out of danger. I thought that was best but maybe that gave false messages. _Maybe..._

"Zero, I-"

Before I can continue my explanation, Zero's hand shoots out, the dagger in his hand, and holds it to my neck. He stares into my eyes, terrifying me to the bone of how sure they look. He could kill me if I say the wrong thing. He wouldn't even hesitate.

"I don't like being lied to," Zero whispered, his face inches away from mine. "Tell. Me. Why."

Shaking off the fear I feel, I swallow hard and open my mouth to speak. "That wasn't an attack. If it was, I would have lunged at you or Yuki. I've only been this way for a year and a half, I'm not that far along. I just...get headaches is all. It's probably a side effect of nicotine withdrawal. I smoked a couple of cigarettes with Adelaide yesterday. That's probably why."

"Has any of your withdrawals ever made you pass out?"

"Many times. It's not meant to be easy. That's why the things are addictive; you get attached."

Zero stares at me for a few seconds, still looking as murderous and serious as ever but after a while he gives up and pulls the blade away from my neck. I breathe a sigh of relief, instinctively rubbing my neck to help the imaginary pain. Zero bows his head, his hair covering his eyes. For a minute, I forget about my own pain and focus on his.

"Zero..." I said softly, hooking a finger under his chin and lifting his face so it's level with mine. "What's wrong?"

Zero looks at me sadly for a minute, smiling quietly to himself. Without a word or explanation, he stands, handing my dagger back to me, and slowly heads toward the door. I don't bother stopping him, as I'd probably collapse from pain or horrible balance. I watch him as he leaves, opening the door and stopping abruptly as he's about to walk out.

He turns to look at me, that small smile still on his face. "You shouldn't hide yourself so much," He said. "It makes you seem more hostile than you are."

As he walks out and gently closes the door behind him, I can't help but smile at the irony, as there's no one else in the room to acknowledge.

"So should you, Zero," I whispered. "So should you."

* * *

'_The spirit who inhabits her animates us all. Destroy the host, you destroy the power. The young die first; the old wither slowly; the eldest perhaps would go last. But she is the Queen of the Damned, and the Damned can't live without her__'. _

I hadn't planned to go to the Moon Dorm tonight. In fact, I'd planned to stay in my dorm and sleep off my aching muscles, but a nagging feeling had been poking at my mind ever since I woke up. It was curiosity and I couldn't seem to get rid of it. Despite the amount of books I tried to read today, I could never seem to take in the words on the page as my own internal battle distracted me greatly.

And so I sit here in the wind, _Queen of the Damned _in my hands and my dagger strapped to my thigh, waiting for Yuki and Zero to arrive. They hadn't exactly approved of me coming along, especially Zero, who has become a little too protective, but I insisted, telling them they were being idiots and that I was fine. They agreed, reluctantly and went back to classes with sour looks on their faces. I knew they weren't happy with me, and probably still aren't, but it's my decision to come and my body on the line. They shouldn't care considering I'm only hurting myself if anything happens.

The breeze blows by, ruffling my hair and causing a shiver to run down my spine. Goosebumps appear along my skin as my teeth chatter, almost every hair on my body raising spontaneously. The little voice in the back of my head begins for taunt me, as if it's own thought process is deprecate from mine.

_Does it make you feel bad? Knowing what you did to Zali? Do you lie awake at night thinking about her and mourning her for every second of every day? No. You don't. You're too weak and selfish to care for her anymore. _The words make me feel sick to the stomach but I screw my eyes shut, forcing the thoughts out of my head. I manage to make them disappear but it feels like I'm forgetting her in the process, forgetting my little sister's suffering like the drop of a hat. The feeling makes me feel even worse and my craving for cigarettes and even alcohol surfaces with it.

I slam my book shut, anxiously biting my fingernails to keep my fingers busy. By the time Zero and Yuki finally arrive, I have chewed them down to stubs and I've ended up biting my own skin. I swallow, the faint taste of my own blood lingering on my tongue, and stand up off the cold concrete.

Zero avoids my gaze, his hands in his pockets as usual. Yuki looks at me worryingly, her wide brown eyes sparkling with fear and excitement.

"I really don't think you should come with us," She said, more as an after thought rather than an argument.

"It's not your decision," I sighed, brushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "It's mine. And besides, if I get hurt, it can only be my fault."

Yuki frowns, looking more and more anxious by the second but Zero hardly even shows any emotion, staring blankly out into the forest. It fascinates me, how that boy can be so angry and filled with rage one second, than uncommonly calm the next. It's like it's a trait he's adopted ever since his parents died, a habit he never could quite get rid of after that. I, admittedly, have done the same thing. I have a habit of being constantly angry.

"We should go," I said, breaking the awful silence that engulfed us in a few seconds.

Unfortunately, that silence continues to stick around for the rest of walk to the Moon Dorm. I put in an earphone to block out the unbearable silence that seemed louder than a fog horn, blasting Lorde's '_Glory and Gore' _at near full volume. I've come accustom to her music over time, as she tends to sing about things that matter and interest me, rather than things that I don't give two shits about. And most of all, they console me when I feel out of it. It's a win-win.

As we near the Moon Dorm, I drop back a little, the atmosphere surrounding the place making me feel even more uncomfortable than I had whilst craving my addictions. Zero drops back as well, slowing down our pace dramatically.

"You need these?" He asked, holding out a box of blood tablets.

I swear, my stomach churned at the sight of the things. I hastily shake my head, swallowing the acidic feeling in the back of my throat.

"No thanks," I said, my grip on '_Queen of the Damned' _tightening a little. "I've got plenty to vomit back up for the next few days."

Zero laughs dryly, no humour present in his already emotionless voice. "They don't work for you either?"

"I'd rather drink rat's blood then those things."

Zero gives me a funny look but I shrug, knowing he would get my reference. "Don't worry. You'd understand if you read the book."

Almost a second after I finished my sentence, I hear a slight rustling in the bushes beside me. That's enough to put me on high alert and I whip out my dagger, stopping just at Ruka's throat as she appears beside me.

"Well, we must be special," I said bitterly. "We have our own personal welcome party. How thoughtful. I'm assuming His Royal Highness send for us? How special you must be to be chosen for such a task. Oh wait, you'd do it for him anyway, like the obedient little puppies you are."

Ruka growls, barring her fangs at me, but remaining firmly where she stands, clearly holding herself back. I smile sadistically, letting my fangs show just to annoy the Aristocrat.

"Ichijou sent for you," Ruka said, clearly not happy with being on guard duty. "A favour."

"You don't always have to be at odds with our kind," Akatsuki said to Zero, and most likely me as well. "So just out your weapons away. Given recent events, we wouldn't want any problems tonight, would we?"

My patience has already worn thin and it's only eleven at night. I already know this is going to be a long visit.

Hanabusa, Akatsuki and Ruka escort us to the Moon Dorm, my eyes never leaving the back of their heads. Yuki fidgets nervously beside me, the sound of her pulling on the sleeves of her uniform somehow over powering the loud music in my right ear.

Once we're inside, I can't help but feel small in the presence of these vampires. All are beautiful, tall and slim, just as a perfect human should be. It's a predatory tactic. Look appealing to attract your prey. I shouldn't be unhappy that I am nothing like them, with dull stormy blue eyes and brown wavy hair that falls just past my shoulders but I am and something else bothers me as well. They, at least, have control of their bodies. At one point or another, I won't.

Akatsuki walks up to Takuma, who's back is turned to us, only his blonde hair helping me identify him. I turn down my music a little and rearrange my hair so that my earphone is relatively hidden from sight. I'm pretty good at hiding earphones, mainly because my friends and I would constantly do it in Math and Geography and it's a skill you tend to pick up through high school. And if you ever had my old Geography teacher, it's a skill you'd learn fast.

Takuma turns, beaming as usual. Sometimes I seriously question Takuma being a vampire. He's too kind and happy to be such a morbid creature but I guess, it's good that he can see the good in everything. I'd like that ability right now.

"Oh, you arrived!" He chimed, smiling even more brightly. "Tonight is my birthday party and I thought I invite you all over! Isn't it fun?!"

I find myself holding back hysterical laughter at this point, the comical aspect to the scene not helping that task at all. _Still cannot believe he is a vampire. _

My eyes wander around the scene before me, the little alarm bells in my head screaming louder than anything now that I'm inside. It feels so unnatural, to be in the presence of these things. It's as if I'm in the presence of angels, angels fallen from grace with no hope of return. Yuki begins to question Takuma on vampires, knowledge I have already memorised.

I turn up my music loud enough that it blocks out the sound of everyone around me but doesn't distract me from my book as I lean against a wall and beginning reading again. The Aristocrats stare at me with disdain, but I don't bother looking up at them. If they don't like what I'm doing, they don't have to watch. Simple.

"Uh, Tori," Takuma said timidly, as if I was about to attack him. "Would you mind putting that book away?"

I look up, cocking my head to the side with vague curiosity. "Why? Vampires, at the very least, should appreciate good literature."

"Yes but-"

"But what?" I said, closing my book and becoming fully engaged in the conversation. "Is it because you think it mocks you? It belittles you? Or is it because Anne Rice was actually relatively close to writing about vampires in their true form? Sad, ancient beings who had to teach themselves to feel again? Is that why you want me to put the book away, Takuma?"

My sudden outburst obviously surprised him, as his green eyes widen and his mouth hangs open as if he forgot what he was going to say. There's sense of accomplishment that comes with surprising people that I have come to enjoy, as it more than often is rewarding to watch a person fumble on their words as they try to come back from whatever embarrassment you just dealt them.

But for Yuki's sake, I swerve back onto the subject of _real _vampires, rather than the vampires in words on a page.

"Hunting Level Es is not Aristocrat's job or purpose," I said. "They're meant to be...politicians and the like. They have the beauty to make an impact and charm to get them through. Smarts on the other hand...well that is more like a lucky thing to have."

I can practically hear Hanabusa frown behind me. But I continue, not afraid of a little challenge. "Vampires are meant to blend in with society, not go out of their way to clean up a mess they started. More often then not, it only makes that mess bigger than before and more lives are lost because of that."

"I'm sorry for the disruption, Victoria. But I heard a report of a Level E roaming about the town and so I sent Ichijou and Shiki out on my order. I'll have to think before I give an order like that again."

Agitation and rage rises in my throat, the sound of Kaname Kuran's egotistical voice acting like snake poison to me. I turn, my jaw clenched tight and my arms folded across my chest. The mocking tone of his voice was enough to piss me off but the fact that he's here would have been enough.

"Yuki," He said, turning his gaze from me to Yuki. "Why didn't you report this to the Headmaster?"

"I...I thought..." Yuki stuttered, struggling to find her own words. "Reporting a matter like this wasn't really enough in my eyes, so I just would like to have confirmed this myself."

"Yourself..." Kaname said, more as an afterthought than an actual comment.

He turns and walks back to his seat, whilst the three of us follow. Zero is becoming more and more agitated by the second, as am I in this environment. It's far too enlightened, far too exotic for me to concentrate. The sooner I leave, the better I'll feel.

I keep myself far from the Pureblood, although it makes me feel worse to have to watch Yuki sit beside him and be coddled like a child but I cannot stand to be so close and so I keep away. Once or twice I think about leaving without saying anything but I couldn't do that to Zero and Yuki, leaving them here with these wolves.

A slight headache begins to surface again and I have to think twice about groaning in pain. Kaname looks at me with eyes full of pity, pity that I don't want nor do I deserve.

"Does it bother you, Victoria?" Kaname said. "To be so close to me, a Pureblood?"

I chuckle, although there is no humour in my voice as I laugh. "What do you honestly think? One of your own killed my family. I don't feel comfortable around _any _of you, let alone a Pureblood."

"Being uncomfortable isn't a common thing for you, is it?"

The vampire was pushing my buttons, nudging me closer and closer to breaking point. Maybe leaving would have been a better option than this.

"Tell me," Kaname continued, obviously leading up to something that will annoy me. "What would your sister think of what you are?"

_Snap. _I don't recall what happened next, except the acute sense of rage and anger. I remember pulling out my dagger and quicker than light, I threw it hard, letting it land an inch from Kaname's head. He hardly seemed phased, as if he were expecting it. _Oh, he _was _expecting it wasn't he? _

"You don't talk about my sister," I hissed, ignoring the deathly looks I'm getting from the other vampires and Kaname's bodyguard who stepped in front of me. "If you ever mention her to me again, I will not hesitate to kill you where you stand. Whether I achieve that or not, I hope it makes you learn not to bring up such subjects around me."

I shove Seiren away and storm out, fighting back tears from the memories that are rising fast. How dare he talk about Zali that way? She's dead and gone. The least she deserves is a little respect and care when spoken of. _  
_

I run into the forest, hoping for peace and quiet as I rip out my earphones and fall to my knees on the ground. I let myself sob but I let no tears fall. It's like a wound has been ripped open after healing. I have a gaping hole in my chest that I cannot fill, no matter how hard I try. I don't want to feel sorry for myself. I don't want pity from those around me. I don't want anything anymore. In my broken state, I can only think of a quote from a book I had only just read, a book that made so much sense to me it hurt.

_"Ya'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die." _Alaska Young had made a quote that now symbolised my life. It's true. I didn't start smoking and drinking and partying back home because I wanted the best out of life.

I did it because I wanted to die.

* * *

**Just so I don't get pegged for copyright, I have to say that the quote just then was from John Green's _'Looking For Alaska'. _And if none of you have read that book, go read it now. It is amazing. **

**Is it just me or does it not feel like Christmas right now? Probably just me. Anyway, thank you all for your questions and lovely reviews. They are extremely appreciated and it makes me feel incredibly happy to know that people enjoy my story. Wow, I say that every chapter. I swear I'm not repetitive. **

**_Saphizcool: How long do you think the story will be? And will there be a Zero x Tori lemon? lol. _  
**

**Well, honestly, I have no idea how long the story will be. I'll just have to see how it goes. As for the Zero x Tori lemon, I also don't know. If I did out it in there, it would mean I would have to change the rating of the sorry and I don't really want to do that but if a lot of you wanted me to, I'd do it. **

**Okay, I am all out of questions to ask again so if any of you have any questions for me , I'd be happy to answer them. **

**Read, Review, tell me what you think and stay tuned for the next chapter. Good God, who says stay tuned anymore? TV is seeping into my brain...-HL**


	8. Twists and Turns

Chapter 7:

Twists and Turns

* * *

_"He'll die if you keep yourself away like this. You'll lose your chance."_

_Shizuka looked down at the little girl, her crimson eyes shining with interest. The child standing before her idolised her, she knew, but the child herself did not realise how closely her own powers compared to Shizuka's. She knew the girl had special blood, rare and ancient blood that was hard to find, and she knew the girl would be of use. For as long as she lasts, that is. _

_"Tell me child," Shizuka said, kneeling down and meeting the young girl's eyes. "Do you believe in fate?"_

_The girl looked away, her sea blue eyes wandering around the room. "No. It's a story for children and a myth for adults."_

_"I don't either," Shizuka replied, cupping the girl's chin. "And you would do well to remember that I don't appreciate being hurried."_

_The girl's eyes widen with fright and she instinctively drops her head, just as Shizuka expected her to. She had told herself she should be gentle with the girl but she soon realised this child was more of an adult than a child and she did not tolerate being treated like a baby. Shizuka was more than happy to oblige. _

_"No..." Shizuka said, standing off her knees and turning back to the window. _

_The moonlight shone down through the window, illuminating the room with a midnight glow. It was beautiful and delicate, much like the child standing behind her. _

_"No, I do not believe in fate," Shizuka continued, watching the moon with a disinterested gaze. "But it is quite a coincidence that you should end up in my care. Our destinies will intertwine, like weeds among the roses, and there is almost nothing I can do to stop that, you realize?"_

_"Yes," The child replied. "That is what I intend to happen."_

* * *

It hadn't been the sound of a gunshot that had woken me up when I feel asleep last night. It hadn't been the smell of blood either. It was something a little more annoying and with a little less appeal. Something that could have been improved on, easily.

Adelaide shook me awake, kicking the bed for extra added measure. She was quite violent sometimes, which honestly didn't surprise me considering who and what she is. I groan, burying my head in my pillow with the hopes of suffocating myself before I have to get out of bed. Unfortunately, Adelaide has other plans.

"Get. Up," She snapped, kicking my bed one last time. "There's someone who wants to see you."

I groan and sit up, rubbing my tired eyes to try and force myself awake. "This better be good. I'm sleeping off my depression, for your information, Adelaide."

"I have smokes, Tori," She sighed. "I'll give you one if you get up and get dressed in approximately three minutes. I'm timing you."

Reluctantly, I drag myself out of bed and begin fumbling around the room for clothes. Eventually, I pull on a pair of tracksuit pants and hoodie, not even bothering to put a shirt on underneath that. I always find that I don't do well in mornings and tonight really is no different.

Pulling up my hood, I leave my room with a scowl on my face but am happy to see that Adelaide has held up her end of the bargain as she holds out a cigarette to me as we walk to the Headmaster's office.

"Just remember to keep as quiet as possible right now," She said as she lit the end of my cigarette. "We're discussing something...well...let's just say, you're not gonna like it."

Conversation was not something I was interested in at that moment, so I continued to smoke and inhale the addictive toxins that tasted far too good for such dangerous things. Adelaide kept quiet as well, only looking ahead and twirling her fingers around the necklace clasped around her neck. Her dark brown hair is tied back into a ponytail and her sexy teacher outfit has been swapped out for a pair of black skinny jeans, combat boots and a black t-shirt and jacket. Her face bares no make-up, giving her beauty a strange natural quality. I never really noticed it before, but Adelaide is rather attractive. I can imagine her brothers have had a hard time keeping her away from guys.

We walk into the Headmaster's office and are met with a somber air that sends shivers down my spine. Unfortunately, that's not the only thing that does it. The smell of Zero's blood also catches my attention.

Zero sits slumped up in a chair against the wall, clutching his shoulder as blood seeps from the gunshot wound there. Yagari stands in front of the Headmaster's desk, his gaze settling on me as I walk in. His eye flicks to Adelaide as she walks up to him, a frown settled on her pretty face. Even the Headmaster, it seems, cannot put a smile on this situation.

"What happened?" I asked, forcing myself to stay right where I am and not run over to Zero.

Yagari is the one to answer me. "He almost bit the Headmaster's daughter. He's getting close to the end."

They're the words I'd been hoping wouldn't come. Zero, though hostile and distant like me, has been the only person who actually understands what's happening to me. The only one who knows my suffering and pain. Even though I never told him my past, I feel as if we share the same amount of guilt as well. After all, he lost his brother just as I lost my sister. Doesn't that count for something?"

"No," I said, trying hard to force down tears. "He wouldn't have. He still has time. You can't just decide his fate for him-"

"There's nothing to discuss," Adelaide said. "He'll go into isolation until he turns."

"You can't just lock him up like some sick animal, making him count the days until he dies! I won't let you!"

Yagari scoffs at my remark, looking over at Zero. "It seems you have more than one girl after you."

I growl, taking a step forward to emphasis my point. "He is not going to die."

"Tori..."

Zero looks at me with sad, defeated eyes, shaking his head as if to tell to give up. I've never seen him look like this, so sad and unsure and it hurts to think what this experience has done to him. _You know exactly what it's done to him, _the little voice in my head said. _You feel it every day. _

I walk over and fall to my knees beside him, tears glistening in my eyes. I don't know if I have the strength to hold them back anymore. It hurts too much and emotional pain always feels worse than even the worst of attacks.

"Zero, please don't give up," I whispered. "I can't do this on my own. I can't fight like you have unless you help me. Please...please Zero, don't leave like my parents did. Not like my sister. _Please."_

Zero looks down at me, smiling with that small smile he always has whenever he's around me.

"You don't need me," He said. "You're strong enough on your own. Stronger, even. You've lasted this long. You can last even long without me."

With no more strength to hold in my emotions, I do something I haven't done in public for over a year. I begin to cry.

* * *

I can't bring myself to go to school that day. Nor can I bring myself to go back to my room, where I know I'll be locked in with my own feelings and thoughts, where I'll cry my eyes out again. I consider seeing Adelaide but she's teaching and I can't even bare to look at her at this point either. But in the end, I have to make my way back to the dorm in a broken and disheveled mess, destined to cry myself to sleep for the next few days.

And so, I sit here in my room, with my earphones in and my eyes screwed shut so a I don't have to see my shattered and emotional self in the mirror. I feel as if I haven't done enough, as if there was more to Zero's death than I would have liked to admit. In reality, there probably is but I'm so tired of all this death and destruction that I want it to be done. Over.

Someone knocks on the door just as I begin to fall asleep, my energy levels reaching an all-time low, and I can't help but feel angry.

"Go away!" I yelled, throwing a pillow at my door. "I'm not in the mood, Adelaide."

"I-It's Yuki. Please, Tori, can you help me find Zero?"

Even the mentioning of his name makes my heart contract and water flood my eyes. I should have known Yuki would come looking for him; she's like a sister to him and she cares for him more than even I. Torn between staying where I am and ignoring her and physically showing Yuki where Zero is, I decide to meet in the middle.

Rubbing my watery eyes and yanking out my earphones, I slide myself off the bed and walk over to my door, praying to God that I won't end up fighting this girl. I open the door, only to have Yuki barge in, wild-eyed and frantic.

"Where is he?" She asked, panting as if she had just run a mile.

"Yes Yuki, you may come in. How very thoughtful of you to ask," I said sarcastically, slamming the door behind me as I skulk back to my bed. "Manners aren't so common around here, are they?"

"Answer me, Tori!" Yuki exclaimed. "You know where he is, I know you do. I've asked everyone, _everyone, _but no one will there me where he is. I need to see him!"

"Why?" I said emotionlessly. "Why do you _need _to see him? As far as I'm concerned, he's coped just fine without you the last four years. I think it's a little late to contribute, if you ask me."

"Tori, _please. _You're the only one who can help me."

"Oh come on. You've got your father and Kuran who can help you as well, not to mention Adelaide _might _be nice to you. You're gonna have to try harder than that to crack me."

"_Tori!" _

The pure desperation in her voice catches my attention and I look up, staring curiously at the girl. She cares for Zero, I know that much, but I never guessed _how much _she cared for him. _Oh that's gotta sting, _the little voice taunted me. _Does it hurt to know that another girl is willing to do more for him then you? I bet it does._

Clenching my jaw and staring back into Yuki's brown eyes, I cannot help but continue to challenge her.

"What makes you think I know where he is?" I said. "What makes you think I even care?"

Yuki shook her head violently, denying my claims. "I can admit, I don't know everything about you, Tori. If your past is that bad, that you don't want to talk about it ever agin, that's fine. I understand that. But that doesn't give you the right to be so hateful and bitter, acting like nothing ever hurts you! I know you care for Zero, _I know you do. _Please...why won't you help me if we both want the same thing?! _Why?!" _

The words Yuki said hurt but they're a little more than true. I know I've been bitter. I know I've been mean. But that's my defence mechanism; I deflect every attempt of love on me with hateful words. It's just how I am. But now, I'm not so sure I can rely on that mechanism anymore.

"Guest bedroom near the Headmaster's office," I said weakly, the feeling of defeat weighing heavy on my bones. "That's where you'll find him."

Yuki's eyes widen with surprise then delight as she bounds over to me and captures me in a hug. I gasp, the sensation feeling strangely foreign. I guess it's because I've denied myself of any kind of love at all and I've pushed awake everyone who tried to show me it.

"Thank you," Yuki said before pulling away and heading quickly out the door.

I sit there in the dark, alone once more, trying to figure out how I became so despicable.

* * *

'_You sense my loneliness...my bitterness at being shut out of life. My bitterness that I'm evil, that I don't deserve to be loved and yet I need love hungrily. My horror that I can never reveal myself to mortals. But these things don't stop me, Mother. I'm too strong for them to stop me. As you said yourself once, I am very good at being what I am. These things merely now and then make me suffer, that's all'._

"Tori, are you even listening to me?!"

The Headmaster stares angrily at me across the table, a frown decorating his face for once instead of a warm smile. With my headphones in and '_The Vampire Lestat' _open in my hands, I had assumed he already knew I wasn't listening to his pointless drivel about control of thirst and pacifism, about the co-existence of vampires and humans which I already know full well won't work.

"No," I said, not even looking up from my book. "I'm not listening."

Zero, who sits opposite me at the table, chuckles softly, obviously not listening either. He and Yuki haven't spoken about what happened the day before. To be perfect, honest I don't want to know. Maybe it's because I already know what happened is my reasoning for my silence on the matter. In my heart, I cannot help but feel jealous toward Yuki. I had given Zero blood once and I guess I had always thought it was my job but now, they have traveled a dangerous and reckless path that I cannot drag them back from. They are on their own with that matter, out of my reach.

The Headmaster sighs, frustrated with my stubbornness. "Tori, I know you haven't been in the best mood for the last few days. Is something bothering you?"

_Well, that's the question of the month. _I try to stop myself from yelling and reply with as much conviction as I can.

"I'm fine," I said, only peeking over the top of my book at the Headmaster.

_Oh, that was real convincing, Tor. _

"Are you sure?" The Headmaster replied. "Because you know you can talk to any one of us if you have problems-"

"Jesus Christ, I said I'm fine!" I exclaimed, slamming my book shut. "Can't that be enough for you?!"

Not waiting for a scolding reply, though I don't know if the Headmaster could give one with that stunned look on his face, I stand from my seat and storm out, only hearing Yuki's words of protest as I walk out into the hall. Unfortunately, those words follow me.

"Tori, wait!" Yuki yelled, running after me.

She reaches out and grabs my wrist, halting me to a stop. I yank my wrist back with an impatient growl, continuing on my way back to my room.

"Leave me alone, Yuki!" I snapped. "I'm sick of all of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means," I said, a bitter taste appearing in my mouth as the words leave my tongue. "What you and Zero did was stupid and unreasonable. What do you think he's going to do when he turns, huh? He'll be after you."

"It's the only way I can help him, you know that Tori! I've let him suffer for four years-"

"Oh and whose fault is that?"

"-And I'm not gonna let him suffer any more."

_Snap. _Whipping around, my hand shoots out and I grab Yuki by the throat, holding her firmly but not too hard. I pull her around and slam her into the nearest wall, white-hot rage coursing through my veins.

"You are making him suffer by giving him your blood," I hissed, staring into her scared brown eyes. "But of course, you wouldn't understand that because you don't understand any of that. You don't know what it does to you, Yuki; To drink someone's blood, someone you care about, and then know everything their thinking, everything their feeling. It's sick, disgusting and wrong but worst of all, it feels _good. _Do you know how horrible that feels? To be drinking from the person you love the most, killing them slowly, and you end up _liking _it? No...you wouldn't. Because you're so desperate to help that you don't consider that you may just be hurting the person you're trying to help. Think about _that _the next time you give your neck freely to Zero. _Think about that." _

With no more opinion to share, I let Yuki go but I don't hang around to hear her whine and complain back to me. I rush back to my room, the anger from before still raging.

Slamming my door behind me, I throw my book at the wall, dying to hit anyone, _anything, _that comes in my path. I pace the room for about ten minutes before I fully calm down, my muscles relaxing as I slump down in my desk chair. I don't feel guilty for what I did. I needed to blow of steam and Yuki needed to hear what I had to say. It was only fair that I did both at the same time.

A knock at my door doesn't surprise me as it comes and I half expect it to be Yuki either here to apologise or complain as usual. But luckily, it's not. It's Zero. _You know, in some cases, this could be classified as unlucky. _

"Zero...what are you doing here?" I asked, leaning against the door frame.

Zero doesn't answer me but instead, pushes me back inside and closes the door behind him. _Yep, this is definitely one of those unlucky cases. _

"If this is about what I said to Yuki, I won't be bullied into an apology," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "Punch me all you want, I'll punch right back."

Zero still remains silent as he approaches me, his violent eyes glowing in the dark. As he nears, I step back instinctively, only to be met with my desk behind me. I begin to panic, cursing myself for being pushed into a corner so early on. I brace myself against the desk, preparing myself to kick him away but strangely, I don't have to. Not when Zero comes up, wraps an arm around my waist and kisses me on the lips.

I can't say I'm not surprised. The feeling of his lips on mine, his arm holding me gently in place whilst he draws imaginary circles on the back my neck with his fingers; it's something a little more than a surprise. Try complete shock. But after a few seconds, I melt, melding my mouth with his and bringing my hands up to rest on his chest. It feels too good, too nice, to be meant for me. But it is and I cannot help but feel greedy about it. My greed does not last for long unfortunately, as Zero pulls out of the kiss, although his still holds me in place against the desk.

"I'm sorry," He said, resting his forehead against my shoulder. "I had to do that. At least once."

"Why did you do that?" I whispered back, still reeling from the experience.

"Think of it as repaying a debt. I owe you a lot more than I originally thought. But the problem is...I need you as well...so much to the point that I'd never be able to repay what I took."

For some reason, I can't help but smile. "No, you can't pay me back. But this is a start."

* * *

**Oh I feel so evil for cutting that short. The joys of being a writer *evil smile*. **

**So how was that? I feel all happy now so you guys better be happy too. I was gonna draw this out but I thought "To hell with it," and winged it. But trust me guys, things will get interesting as we go on...**

**Okay, I don't know why I didn't think of this question before, but what do you all think of Tori? Give good and bad things about her please because I'd like to improve on the things I'm not good at. **

**Anyway Read, Review and do all that stuff. Give me a bit of time and I'll have the next chapter up as soon as possible. -HL**


	9. Flooding Memories

Chapter 8:

Flooding Memories

* * *

Boredom and vague interest was what drew me to the shooting range. Zero had been firing away for an hour at best and I could hear him from my room, interrupting my reading of '_The Vampire Lestat' _and overpowering the sound of my already full-volume music. In any other case, I'd be annoyed but with nothing else to do with my day, I decided to head down to range in hope of either shooting some targets or to continue reading in an area that _wasn't _my room.

I wander over to the range at a leisurely pace, still wearing pyjama shorts and a singlet that I had worn to bed that night, only I have a hoodie pulled over the singlet, and push the door open to enter. The sound of gunshots echo and bounce off the walls, making my ears ring with what sounds like the dial tone of a telephone.

"And this is why I hate guns," I said to myself, walking over to the wall behind Zero and sitting down on the cold concrete.

Yuki stands in the corner with her fingers in her ears, a bandage wrapped around her neck to conceal Zero's bite. I honestly think it's overkill, to have a bandage for two tiny puncture wounds but given Yuki's attachment to that asshole of a Pureblood, I could understand why she wouldn't want him to see it. I notice that she avoids my gaze completely, keeping her eyes firmly on Zero and nothing else. I must have scared her pretty good yesterday. _Good. _

I slip in my earphones and begin to read, the flow of Lestat's story beginning again in my voice.

'_As the Roman Empire came to its close, all the old gods of the pagan world were seen as demons by the Christians who rose. It was useless to tell them as the centuries passed that their Christ was but another God of the Wood, dying and rising, as Dionysus or Osiris had done before him, and that the Virgin Mary was in fact the Good Mother again enshrined. Theirs was a new age of belief and conviction, and in it we became devils, detached from what they believed, as old knowledge was forgotten or misunderstood.' _

"Did you just come here to read?" Zero asked, interrupting my reading with his voice now instead of his gun.

"Yes. You have a problem with that?" I said, not looking up from my page.

"No. It's just...curious."

"As opposed to uninteresting and boring which is probably what your brain is actually thinking. You just don't want to say it."

Zero's mouth twitches, as if he's fighting a smile, and turns back to the range. More shots are fired and I can't help but be annoyed with one little detail.

"You're holding your gun wrong," I said, the agitation getting the best of me.

Zero turns around, confusion on his face. "How?"

"You hold it with one hand. You should hold it with two. The kickback of the pistol will jar your wrist if you keep firing like that."

Zero rolls his eyes, disregarding my advice, and continues shooting. But when he think's I'm not looking, I can see him put up his second hand and hold the gun properly before firing multiple shots. A smile creeps onto my face and I let it, a little bout of arrogance rising in me.

"Yuki, you should take that bandage off your neck," Zero said. "It's beyond noticeable."

"It's necessary Zero," Yuki replied. "If any of the other vampires took it off...I don't want them to pry."

Sensing the awkward situation closing in, I turn up my music a little louder, letting Lana Del Rey sing just a little bit louder. Unfortunately, it doesn't help block out the situation.

"But if you were bitten by someone else, it wouldn't be so much of a problem, would it?" Zero said, edging toward a dangerous subject.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yuki snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You'd probably prefer to have Kaname Kuran drink your blood, right?"

_Oh, bad move. _But once it's been said, I guess Zero can't stop himself. He continues, much to my annoyance. "I always knew you liked that guy but...now...I understand _how _much. Through your blood..."

"Shut up, you pervert!" Yuki yelled. "I hate being spied on. Can't my own feelings be my own?!"

Without a second to spare, Yuki turns and dashes from the room, slamming the heavy metal door behind her. I shake my head, feeling sorry for the girl. I'm on the other side of the card. I have complete access to someone's memories and thoughts when I drink their blood and it makes me to sick to think that I know even their deepest darkest secrets. The fact that Zero uses even his limited access to her mind against her, makes me feel horrible.

"Nice work, Zero," I said, flipping to the next page of my book. "Maybe next time we can get her so angry she hits you. That might teach you to hold your tongue."

"I have freedom of speech."

I look up, pursing my lips just like my mother when she knew she was right. "Just because you know the truth, doesn't mean it has to be said."

Zero scoffs, not impressed by my one-sided argument. I can only assume that it's stubbornness that keeps telling him he's right but I don't know what's going on in that brain of his, not in the slightest. We still haven't talked about what happened the other night. I still don't know where we're at in terms of relationships. I still don't even know if the kiss meant anything or not. Nonetheless, I'm over it and I just want to move on from here.

I stand, my legs aching and complaining with the effort of having to stand, and head toward the door when Zero stops me.

"You're leaving?" He asked, surprise evident in his eyes.

"Yes," I said. "Or did you think I was just gonna walk to the door and then go sit back down for pure enjoyment?"

Zero smiles, my dry humour not really meant to amuse him but more to annoy him, and places his gun down on the bench. Given the look on his face, I can tell he wants to sake me something and I have a distinct feeling it's going to be about something I'm not going to like.

"What happened to your sister?" Zero asked, sounding genuinely curious.

_Boy, you must hate being right all the time. _My throat tightens at the mentioning of Zali, even if it wasn't by name. I can understand Zero's curiosity; if I didn't already know everything there was to know about his brother, I'd ask him the same question. But it's like a trigger, a trigger that sets me off every time. It's like no matter what I do, I cannot contain the rage I feel for myself for doing what I did. But I know that Zero did nothing wrong and is only asking a question, so I answer it.

"She's dead," I said, trying hard to keep my voice as emotionless as possible. "She was buried with my parents."

Zero's eyes widen, although I can tell he wasn't exactly surprised by my answer. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

I shrug, trying to look convincingly calm even though I feel as if I'm dying inside. "It's alright. I just haven't really...talked about her much. It's still pretty hard."

"Were you two close?"

I laugh, remembering the one time Zali shot me in the head with a toy bow and arrow because I wouldn't let her on my laptop while I was studying. "Uh, no, not really. We had a big age difference, so we mostly just annoyed each other. But I loved her and...she was eleven when she died so...I guess it just affected me."

_For more than one reason. _Zero smiles sadly, as if remembering a happy memory of his past as I did mine. It's strange, to see Zero smile, considering he never smiles around anyone but me. Not even Yuki can coax one out of him and she's been with him the longest. Why I manage to do it is beyond me.

"I had a younger brother," Zero said, much to my surprise. "We were quite close. He was...sickly and weak, so my parents never thought he could be a hunter. It's not that he didn't try, of course."

Although I already know this, hearing the words come from Zero is quite a surprise. He's usually like me when it comes to talking about family; he keeps quiet. Although he's not as quiet as me on some matters, he still doesn't speak about his parents or brother as much as others.

Feeling more and more uncomfortable talking about my family, I decide to make a quick exit, the rage inside me threatening to completely consume me.

"I have to go," I said, my voice cracking at the most inconvenient of times. "I'm sorry, I just..."

"What's wrong?" Zero asked, walking over to me and grabbing my hand to comfort me. It doesn't work.

"I...I don't like to talk about these things," I said weakly, swallowing hard to force down the lump in my throat. "You have no idea what I've done."

"What you've done doesn't matter," Zero replied. "Let the past be the past."

I laugh, although no humour reaches that laugh. "You should listen to your own advice. I can grieve my sister for as long as I like. I deserve the pain I feel for what I did to her."

"What do you mean?" Zero asked, taking a step closer and forcing my back to hit the door as I do the same.

"Why do you want to know?" I snapped, the rage inside of me finally getting free. "You wouldn't care. You didn't even know her, so why would you. A little tip Zero: _Think _before you ask questions like that."

"Goddamn it, Tori, you aren't the only one who's lost someone!"

"I know but I am the only one who killed her little sister because I was too weak to fight my hunger and she was the nearest thing to a fucking meal when I saw her!"

The exhaustion of grief sets in as I slide to the ground, my back still pressed hard up against the wall as I bury my face in my hands. In a way, it feels as if a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can finally breathe without that strange ache in my heart that has been there for so long. But I feel so sick and so disgusting that it overshadows that weightlessness. I revealed my darkest secret because I was too angry to stop myself. How weak must I be to give up so quickly?

Zero kneels down in front of me and puts his hand on my shoulder as if to try and console me. I jerk out of his reach, shaking with anger.

"You got what you wanted," I snapped. "Now leave me alone."

Every nerve deadens as Zero leaves the room in a frustrated hurry, my hostile manner speaking louder than my own words. I feel more than empty inside at this point. The clarity and clear-headedness I had possessed only a few minutes before seems to have completely disappeared, leaving me raw and bleeding like an open wound. Memories of my family and happy times come flooding back, blending and mixing with the memory of their dead and limp bodies lying cold on the floor of my family home. It's like being shot multiple times; there's so much pain going on, I cannot focus on one area.

I must cry about every individual pain, one by one.

* * *

Avoiding Zero and Yuki hadn't exactly worked as I had hoped as the day went on. I had hoped that racing back to my room and hiding away for the rest of the weekend would give them the message that I didn't want to be disturbed but obviously, the Headmaster didn't get the memo.

"Tori, come along. You can't just hide away in that room all day," He said through the door and Florence and the Machine singing at full volume.

"You want a bet?" I yelled back, my folders and study notes spread out on the floor around me in my little study circle.

"_Tori." _

The tone of his voice automatically told me that I had no choice but to go along with his little plan and study with Yuki and Zero, which I had carefully hidden myself away from. Trapped in a situation I cannot escape from, I agree and begin to pack up my things to bring them back to the Headmaster's living room. I manage to do it in a decent ten minutes, which wasn't as slow as I had hoped, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

I wander over the the Headmaster's living room, still managing to haul along my iPod just to block out my friends if they dare try and talk to me. That and I study better that way.

Walking through the door, I feel the heavy weight of Yuki and Zero's eyes fall on me but I ignore it as best I can, remaining emotionless and distant just as I did before I got caught in whatever mess of emotions I had concocted for myself. Dropping my things on the floor in the far corner, I sit myself down with my back to the others and slip my earphones in, turning the music up loud. It's not long before I hear someone get up and leave with a loud slam of the door.

I shake my head and smile cruelly. "Wow, I didn't think I affected people so much as to make them leave the room. I need to use this skill more often."

Much to my surprise, it's Zero's voice that responds. "Humour isn't going to make anyone feel better at this point, Tori."

Pulling out my earphones, I turn to face him, pulling my hair out of my eyes and crossing my legs. "Oh but I think it does. You just can't see it yet."

Zero shakes his head, avoiding my eyes. "That's your shield huh? Sarcasm and cruel humour to mask whatever you're feeling inside that rock hard shell of yours."

"What else am I supposed to do Zero?" I said tiredly. "I don't _want _anyone to know how I feel. Why should they know? They don't care and they can't do anything about my emotions, so screw 'em."

"I care, Tori."

The words, I suspect, were meant to make me feel better somehow but instead, they only make me curious. "What am I to you then, Zero?" I asked. "What exactly am I meant to be for you?"

Zero looks over at me, that small smile he always wears around me appearing again. "I don't know. I don't know what I feel for you and I'm not sure you do either."

"Oh and when did you figure that out? Of course I don't know how I feel about you! You kissed me, you bastard, and you confused the hell out of me. I thought you'd be the one to know something."

"I thought you knew everything."

"Don't you dare throw that back in my face, smartass or I'll throw a binder in your face and I can tell you now, the binder's gonna hurt a hell of a lot more."

Zero laughs softly, his eyes sparkling slightly and making my heart flutter a little at the same time. _Oh God, here we go. _All of a sudden, I can't help but question everything in that moment. What exactly do I feel for Zero? It's not like it's a hard question, it's a simple question with an even more simple answer but somehow, it turns out to be the hardest question to answer. I've been with more guys than I could count and I've slept with probably double the amount I've dated. My record for dating a boy is probably three weeks at best and that was pushing it at the time. Only one question remains in my mind and it's something I would like to be answered quickly.

Why does this one boy, one broken boy with a past as bloody as mine, have me captured in a trap that I cannot leave?

* * *

**Questions are a bitch, Tori. They really are.**

**Sorry, another short chapter, I know. I wanted to give you guys something today considering I'm probably going to disappear for a few days to admire all the crap I'm getting for Christmas. Watching Carols in the Domain was not a wise choice whilst writing this. I'm going to be singing Christmas carols for days. **

**I have no question for you guys today, so I leave it to you guys to ask me any questions that you want answered. I'll have them answered in the next chapter (that is, when I eventually get off my ass and actually write something). **

**Happy Christmas guys. Please forgive my Christmas procrastination and wait patiently for the next chapter. Bye :P -HL**


	10. Terrible Fates

Chapter 9:

Terrible Fates

* * *

Adelaide had been the one to give me the bad news. I had only just gotten off school after another day of stupid fangirls, yelling and screaming over the Night Class and I wasn't in a good mood. Nonetheless, Adelaide was prepared for a fight and I was in the mood to give her one.

"They're sending me out to kill a Level E?" I snapped, my tired rage only just beginning. "Are they fucking insane? There's no way I'm going to go out there and kill some psychopath with an endless lust for blood!"

"The Hunter's Association ordered it," Adelaide said calmly. "There's no way around it. You can't just disobey orders-"

"Like hell I can't! To hell with the Association and you too, if you agree with them."

Adelaide rolled her eyes, not wanting to deal with my anger. "I _don't _agree with them, Tori. And I never will but it's not my decision and I'm not the one under pressure here. Now either you grow up and deal with what you've been dealt or they hunt you down and kill you. There's still an option to kill you, Tori. Don't think there isn't. The Association can get away with a great deal of things and that is one of them. Watch yourself, Tori."

Despite Adelaide's harsh treatment, I can see the sense in her words, no matter how frustrated I may be. I have to hunt down whoever the Association has assigned me to, whether I like it or not. They could easily declare me Level E and kill me if I don't, punishing me for my disloyalty. But the rebellious part of me is up in arms, fighting to break free of the rules and basically just say 'Fuck you.'

As soon as Adelaide leaves me be, I run to Zero's room, sneaking past every boy I see in the dorm to find him. I know my way around the school fairly well now, although some areas are still like mazes, I can still get around to where I need to go.

Reaching Zero's room without being spotted, I bang on his door, not even bothering to be polite at this point.

"Zero, open up!" I yelled. "It's Tori!"

I hear a clatter inside his room, as if my sudden appearance startled him, and I can't help but smile despite my frustrated mood. It takes a few more minutes for him to actually open the door, the distinct sound of things moving around giving me the impression that hems probably cleaning up. _Good God, he really must love you._

Zero opens the door after a good five minutes, his hair disheveled and his eyes as luminous as ever. I'd find this look on him cute if I wasn't so damn annoyed.

"You get one of these too?" I asked, holding up my assignment paper.

Zero cocks his head slightly at the paper, analyzing it quicker than I ever could. "Yeah. Just this morning. Why did you get one?"

I roll my eyes, scrunching up the paper and stuffing it into my pockets. "The Association are assholes, that's why. Can I come in?"

Zero nods, stepping aside to let me in. His room is quite bare and plain compared to my own, with hardly anything in it besides a bed, wardrobe and bedside table. It's surprsing, considering Zero has lived in the Headmaster's care for four years and yet he has nothing to show for it. I, at least, brought a few things from my old life back with me; Zero's left everything behind.

"I just don't understand why they want us to do this," I complained, crossing my arms over my chest. "It's like they're forcing to see...to see what we'll become. It's grotesque."

Zero shakes his head and sits down on the edge of his bed, a somber look replacing his small smile as he takes in what I said. There's a certain look he gets when he thinks, like he's in a trance and he won't be able to recover unless he works it out. It's cute, in it's own way, but it brings with it a sort of a obsessiveness that is quite frightening, at it's best.

"There's nothing we can do about it, Tori," He said. "We have to do what they ask."

"Yes, I know," I sighed, pacing the room. "Apparently _everyone _is inter the Association's thumb. The Association says jump; we ask how high. It's bullshit."

"Not used to working inside the rules?"

"No, not at all. You're looking at the girl who ingested cocaine, _during _class. _With _the teacher in the room. I don't do 'obedient'_."_

Zero laughs, shaking his head as his smile returns. "Obviously."

Growing tired of standing up, I sit down next to Zero. Every alarm bell possible is going off in my head as I do, like an internal warning system, and I can't help but cringe at the feeling. It's the worst kind of thing, to feel so awkward around someone to the point where you can't touch them. I don't want to feel this way about Zero, not at all but I can't help it, not with the things we've done and the things that we've said between us.

"I'm so lost," I whispered. "I don't know what to do anymore."

Zero gives me a confused look, his mouth still set in a smile. "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "I'm going to die Zero. It's only a matter of time before it happens. I don't know what I want or what I need anymore. It's like living blind; I don't see what's in front of me anymore. I just can't."

Zero smiles, as if my misery is an amusement. It angers me to see him smile but what he says is what cools my blood.

"I'm right in front of you, Tori," He said, lacing his fingers in mine. "And I'm sure you can see me."

My actions next were purely instinctive, although I have to admit that it would have lead to this no matter what. Untangling my hands from Zero's, I lean over and crush my lips against his. It surprises him at first but only after a few seconds, Zero melts into the kiss, slipping his arms around my waist and pulling me into his lap. I tangle my fingers into his hair, moaning softly into the kiss.

A rare kind of bliss spreads from my chest out to my fingertips, the kind I've only ever felt on rare occasions. It's the kind of bliss that only appears when you're with someone you adore and even possibly...love. The thought scares me but I don't fight it, not with Zero so close and yet, so far away.

Reluctantly, I pull back, slipping away and walking toward the door.

"Think of it as repaying a debt," I said, as I open his door and leave without anything left to say.

* * *

The wind rushes past, fanning my hair out behind me with the leaves and cold air. I can't bring myself to think about what I'm about to do, nor can I bring myself to keep it off my mind. My target was a little girl once, aged ten, just like Zali. She has brown hair, just like Zali, and strange sea blue eyes, _exactly _like my little sister. The resemblance is startling and scarring at best but I can't think about that, not now when a job needs to be done.

I reach the place where the little girl has been hiding, in a run-down building just outside town. It seems like the kind of building that a serial killer would hide out in; not a scared child with nowhere to go. Even as I stand outside, I can hear the wood inside creak and groan without any weight at all. That Level E must have an extremely light foot to walk around this place.

I, on the other hand, will have to watch where I step, lest the whole damn building crumble on top of me.

The dry grass and weeds crunch under my boots as I approach, sword drawn and senses alert. Every sound that isn't made by me is like a warning bell, it makes me jump and I can't seem to calm myself down. It's so silly, being as jumpy as I am but it's like a natural instinct; fear rules all.

I step inside the fragile building, making sure to balance all my weight on the balls of my feet in case of attack. I move quickly, afraid that every plank of wood underneath my feet will disintegrate with even the slightest touch. The air smells musty and I cough as I inhale dust from ages of decay. Such a horrible place to lose your mind.

A flicker of movement catches my attention as it passes me, making my grip on my sword even tighter. I swing around, still moving quickly so that I'm not standing in one place for too long. A small but distinctly twisted voice appears out of the dark, sending shivers down my spine.

"And so, they send another. I wonder how quickly this little dove will fall. The last died quickly; he only lived to see my fangs pierce his neck."

I turn slowly, trying to pinpoint where the girl's voice is coming from. It would have been simple, had the girl not moved every two seconds and thrown me off every single sentence.

"So pretty," She mused, her voice appearing to my left this time. "You shall look pretty in your coffin, little dove."

I smile, spotting the girl's now twisted red eyes as they stare at me from the shadows.

"I won't have a coffin," I said. "Because this pretty face is just as damned as you."

The Level E pounces, jumping out from the dark, hissing like a hungry animal. I dodge her attack, only to collide with an already splintered beam with enough force to knock a man to the ground. The beam disintegrates, sending the ceiling above me crashing down. I roll out of the way, my lungs dying for proper air as my adrenaline kicks in, and only have a two second chance to block the little girl'sm claws as she slashes at my face. I miss that chance by a fingernail and receive a stinging blow to the cheek, the typical numbing of my skin and wet feeling indicating that she broke my skin.

Frenzied by the smell of my blood, the girl begins to wildly slash at me, giving me multiple chances to move. I take the first one I see, ducking under a high punch and sliding out of the way. I push myself to my feet and run for the unstable stairs ahead of me, the sound of snapping wood following me as I do. I can hear the level E chase after me, screaming in the way a child screams when they don't get what they want. I guess old habits die hard.

I bound up the stairs, taking them three at a time, and turn into the second floor, which is even more precarious than the first. I swing around, bringing my sword up in a defensive position, and back into the room, my eyes glued to the stairs.

"The little dove can run but can she fly?"

The Level E's voice had appeared behind me and unbelievably close as well. I quickly spin around, slashing my sword at the same time with the hopes of landing a lucky blow. My wish comes true as metal meets flesh, the blade cutting deep into the girl's stomach. I can tell it hurt, as the girl screams with rage and pain. I take a quick step back, feeling the floor underneath my foot groan with my weight.

"_Let me have you!_" She screamed, pouncing forward like a cat and colliding with my body.

In an instant, I lose my balance and topple backwards, smashing into the floor and through it entirely. The weightless feeling of falling engulfs me for a good two seconds before I hit the unstable ground of the first floor. And I hit it _hard_.

I cough and splutter as the air fills with even more dust, feeling a sharp, brutal pain in my chest as I do. _Broken ribs? Dear God, don't let them be broken._ Rolling over onto my stomach, I attempt push myself to my feet but the sharp pain returns and I fall back on to the ground with a muffled cry. _Yep, definitely broken._

Just as I roll over, I only have a split second to block a blow from the recovered Level E, her eyes full of fury and hunger. Luckily, I manage to block it but pain stops me from blocking the second blow.

"Awww, has the little dove broken a wing?" The little girl taunted, kneeling over me with innocent eyes. "I guess she can't fly after all."

Without warning, the little girl digs her knee into my ribcage, causing splitting pain to appear on my suspected broken ribs. I try my hardest not to scream but it's incredibly hard to when you feel like you've had a sword shoved into your ribs and some body is twisting the blade.

"Any last words, little dove?" The Level E said, leaning down and hovering anxiously over my neck.

A thought comes to me at the last second and I instantly wonder why I hadn't thought of this before. It could have saved me quite a lot of pain.

I smile, turning my head to meet the girl's red and twisted eyes. "Pain."

Using the last of my energy, I push myself into her mind and cause her the most excruciating pain I can possibly think of. The Level E shrieks, falling back off off me and lying on the ground, screaming bloody murder.

"What did you do?!" She screamed. "_What did you do?!" _

Groaning in pain, I drag myself to my feet, picking my fallen sword up along the way. I limp over the her, hovering my sword over her chest. I stare down at her, shivering at the resemblance she shares with Zali. Now I understand why the Association made me kill her. They were testing my weaknesses, to see if I crack.

Well, obviously, _I didn't_.

* * *

"You still look better than me after my first hunt."

Adelaide leans against the wall, watching me as I have my three broken ribs patched up. It was surprising to know that I only broke _three, _considering the fall from the second floor of the building hurt like hell. I'll have bruises for a while and most likely a scar on my cheek where the deepest of my cuts occurred but other than that, I'm perfectly fine. _Physically, _that is.

"What happened to you?" I asked, feeling strangely empty inside.

"A head split open. Shattered wrist. Dislocated shoulder. Arm broken in four places," Adelaide explained, shaking her head with a smile. "I was not in a good shape at all."

"I can only imagine," I muttered, staring at the ground emotionlessly.

The doctor finishes up with my ribs, letting me put my shirt back on and go home. I've been sentenced to no physical activity for at least three weeks to let the ribs attempt to heal. I nod as he explains, trying to pay attention but failing miserably. I cannot seem to stop thinking about that little girl and how vicious and cruel she had become. She was normal once. She was like my sister; she had no idea about the horrors of the world that hid underneath the sugar coated topping. She didn't know a thing.

Adelaide drives me back to the Academy, trying hard to draw me into conversation but I can't focus on anything anymore. I feel so empty and so wounded. So unbelievably broken. I thought I had accepted what I would become, what I am. But obviously, I haven't, judging by how much this experience affected me. I don't know what I think anymore. All I know is that I'll become something twisted and evil in due time and that scares me beyond measure.

I wander back to my dorm room, feeling the weight of my lack of energy fall on my muscles and drag me down. I was hoping to walk into my room, lie down and sleep for the next fifteen hours but my hopes are ruined when I find Zero in my room.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped, slamming my door behind me. "Shouldn't you be back in your own dorm?"

I yank off my jacket and throw it over the edge of my bed, wincing as pain shoots out of my ribs. Zero stares at me, stunned by my bruises and stitches but I ignore him, walking to my wardrobe and rifling through it for new, clean clothes.

"You're hurt," He said, taking a step toward me.

"No shit," I replied, pulling out a black t-shirt and denim shorts. "I don't just sport these stitches for the fun of it, Zero."

"What happened?"

"What do you think? A Level E happened. I honestly thought that would have been obvious, considering I told you where I was going."

"Tori-"

"What?!"

Every muscle in my body seems to have instantaneously lost all energy and I feel even more tired than ever. All I want is to sleep and never wake up. It'll be the only way I could ever regain the life I had lost today.

I slump against the wardrobe, sinking down to the ground with my own lifeless thoughts.

"She looked just like her, you know?" I whispered, feeling tears prick the corners of my eyes. "The Level E looked just like my little sister. The Association...I'm sure they meant that to test me, to see if I would break. But I didn't. And...I feel like...like doing that just killed me from within."

My voice shakes and cracks on the last few sentences, my tears breaking the surface and sliding down my cheeks. I cover my mouth to muffle the sound of my sobs, shivering from the violence of my sadness.

Zero sits down beside me, putting an arm around my shoulders and drawing me close. If anything, it makes me feel worse, knowing that the thing I will become is also what Zero will be in due time. Not to mention the fact that there's been too many intense moments between us, too many to comprehend and I feel so awkward even thinking about it.

Despite my discomfort, I let him be, resting my head on his shoulder, wondering if I ever even had a chance to live to begin with.

* * *

**We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merrry Christmas, We wish you a Merry- Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh, stupid carols stuck in my head!**

**So in between all my cleaning procrastination, cooking procrastination and just general procrastination, I actually felt like writing the last few days. Especially after an awkward situation that involved an ex-boyfriend, bad timing and hysterical best friends. So here's my chapter. **

**Thank you all for the reviews. I love you guys so much, you're all so sweet :). I have to make this short because I have to leave my house and leave wifi for Christmas Mass (I hate church. Who the hell even likes church). So Read, Review and ask questions if you want. I shall answer them soon. **

**Merry Christmas and wish me luck *I'm so gonna die* -HL**


	11. Revelations

Chapter 10:

Revelations

* * *

My depressed mood didn't improve as I dragged myself to class in the morning. Now, it was more of an annoyed mood but it still had it's portion of depression. I had still managed to pick up my iPod in my rush to get out of the dorm; I had woken up at a horrible time when every single one of the girls were hanging out in the corridors and I needed to get out.

As much as I love Lorde, I needed something a little violent and so I switched on my Dad's Rammstein album and played it at full volume. I understand the majority of it, considering I can speak fluent German, but I hardly even pay attention to the lyrics at all. They don't hold as much significance as Lorde's music and so, I cannot be bothered to even listen up. All I want is the noise. Noise to distract myself from screaming girls and harsh realities.

I sink into my seat next to Zero, too tired to even mutter a greeting. Zero smiles, his little smile making me feel a little better in my dark mood.

"What are you listening to?" Zero asked. "I could hear it from the other side of the room."

I tug my earphones out of my ears and turn off my iPod, growing tired of the heavy metal beat. "German heavy metal. My dad's old albums."

"Still upset?"

I shrug, tapping my fingers on the table. "What do you think?"

Zero sighs, sitting back in his chair. "I thought you'd at least be a little bit over that by now. They don't need pity-"

"Oh, you know perfectly well that wasn't what's worrying me," I snapped, my mood surfacing once more. "And it most definitely is not to do with pity."

Zero frowns, his eyes set firmly on the teacher's desk below us. I can tell he's not happy with me, me and my spontaneous bouts of depression but I can't help the way I feel. If I could, I'd be halfway to heaven by now.

The classroom door opens, causing the steady stream of conversation to become muffled and hushed, then cease to exist entirely. Yagari will always cause that kind of reaction in people, no matter where he goes. I guess he simply carries around this kind of aura of danger and sorrow that puts people off, an aura that only few people can get through. Adelaide, I know now, has a direct path through that fog-like aura, straight to his heart.

Yagari strolls over to the desk, his one good eye settling on Zero and I for a split second before he moves on to instruct the rest of the class. I don't hear any of it, partially because I wouldn't have listened anyway but as Zero quickly looks around, as if to check if no one is watching, I find myself more interested in him as he leans over and lightly presses his lips to mine. The kiss only last a second or so, but it makes me feel better nonetheless.

"There," Zero said, sitting back in his seat with a cheeky smile on his face. "Now stop with the depression. It's staring to affect me. Jesus woman."

I roll my eyes but smile, too giddy to care if anyone saw us. "Fine. Two-one."

"Two-one what?"

"You're winning so far in the game of who kissed who."

Zero rolls his eyes, running a hand through his silvery hair. "You have the maturity of a five-year-old."

"Proud of it, honey," I said, leaning back in my chair and opening my folder, officially cutting off our conversation.

As Yagari's class drags on, I find myself reciting quotations in my head and scribbling them on page. Zero watches me, considering we both have no interest in ethics or anything else to do with the subject. One particular quote catches Zero's eye as I write it down.

_If people were rain, I was a drizzle and she was a hurricane - Alaska Young. Looking for Alaska by John Green. _

I begin to move on, already writing another quote when Zero begins to scribble a sentence on my page.

_I think this defines the entirety of my feelings for you, _he wrote, quickly drawing an arrow up to the quote as if I didn't have enough clarification.

I smile, leaning over and quickly writing a response. _Darling, if I'm a hurricane, you are at least a hail storm. _

Zero reads my response and rolls his eyes, putting his pen to the page. _I'm hardly even a storm. _

_Why are we even talking about rain? _

_You brought it up._

_No, I wrote down a quote and you commented. _

_Hang on, did you call me "darling"? I only just noticed that._

_Maybe. You got a problem with that, darling?_

Zero looks up from the page and puts on that small smile, before giving me a response.

"Of course not."

* * *

The girls around me yell and scream as the Night Class walk by, their usual routine of glares and growls directed at me failing to amuse me as I turn up my music. Every muscle in my body seems to be aching from my hunt yesterday, as do my ribs that are slowly and painfully healing, though I wonder if they are sometimes.

Content in my own company, I wouldn't have noticed Kaname as he passed me, just like every other day, but it's what he said to me that both caught my attention and pissed me off at the exact same time.

"So Victoria," He said, his voice somehow overpowering my already loud music. "How are those ribs? Not too broken I hope. You'll have to be a bit more careful in future."

Anger flares in the pit of my stomach, causing a growl to rise in my throat and escape through gritted teeth. All I need was one thing to set me off today and this was it. Unfortunately for him, that meant I wasn't going to let that go so easily.

I step forward with the intent to kill but Zero catches my arm, tugging me back to stand beside him. I struggle against his iron grip but to no avail. He's grown too strong for me to be able to break free at this point.

"Let me go, Zero," I hissed, yanking my arm out of his lessened grip.

"I would let you get at him but I can't have you getting suspended," Zero said calmly. "Who else would I write notes to in Ethics?"

Despite the effort out in to make me feel better, Zero's attempt fails miserably as I cross my arms over my chest and frown unhappily, my bad mood surfacing once more. The crowd of Day Class girls has almost entirely dispersed by the time the Night Class have reached the main school building but somehow, Yuki has managed to let her ground push her all the way up to the front door, and is still barely managing to keep them all in check.

"Seriously?" I muttered under my breath as I run over to help. "Can she not do the right thing just once?"

My annoyance escalates as Yuki is yanked back into the main school building, by who I can only guess was Aidou, considering it seems like the kind of thing he would do. I swear loudly, not caring if any of the students hear me as I shove my way through the crowd. Not that I had to shove for long, considering the whole group just made a corridor for me to get through. I'm too slow off the take-off to get to the door as Zero pushes past me and walks up, his agitation matching mine. I guess it's the one thing we share when it comes to Yuki; an unspoken annoyance of feeling like the only responsible person around her.

Zero yanks the doors open and drags Yuki out, the distinct face of Kaname Kuran appearing in the gap between the open doors. There's a sad look he wears whenever he looks at Yuki that I can never put my finger on, like Yuki is a lost possession he has found in another's hands. It's so strange and I can't help but wonder.

I cannot comprehend what Kaname actually means to Yuki but it's none of my business and so I won't ask.

I leave Zero to drag Yuki off to wherever he wanted to take her, my interest in helping Yuki completely losing it's appeal. She still remains silent and timid around me, like I'm a ticking time-bomb of rage and emotion. She may just be right but I won't give her that. Sometimes the girl's too smart for her own good.

I manage to find a comfortable spot at the base of a tree bordering the back of the school, my view being the large glass window that shows the Night Class's classroom. I can see Kaname leaning against the window, his dark brown, almost black hair, giving him away. I can see small smudges of white from this distance but not the uniforms themselves or the people wearing them. I'm just too far down to see.

I turn down my music, letting Florence and The Machine sing softly about a lost love, and lean my head back against the tree trunk. The words of the song drift only for a moment in my mind before completely erasing themselves as new words replace them. I close my eyes, hoping that the rhythm of the song will lull me into a dreamless sleep and let me catch up on the rest I have been missing the last week or so.

Just as I'm about to fall head first into the pits of sleep, I feel a cool breeze of air pass me by and the distinct smell of gunpowder and metallic blood fills my nose.

"Zero," I sighed, pulling out my earphones and opening my eyes. "You interrupted me in the middle of '_The Great Gatsby' _soundtrack. I'd imagine you have a good reason for this interruption."

Zero slides down and sits beside me, his posture relaxed as ever. "I thought you'd need some company."

I smile tiredly, tapping my fingers nervously on my thigh. "Good to know you're thinking about my social life. Unfortunately, my social life disappeared when I discovered the wonderful phenomenon that is Tumblr. Well, that and endless piles of books."

Zero shakes his head, placing his hand over mine to stop me fidgeting. "I imagine you were _more _than popular, Tori, when you were back home."

"Lucky guess," I muttered, the feeling of my skin against his sending electric currents up my arm. "How'd you know?"

"I'm a good judge of character."

I snort, still not as relaxed as I'd like to be. "Of who's character? I don't think vampires count as people, Zero."

"That means we aren't people, if you say that."

"Hey, stoners are people too," I said, pointing to my own chest.

That makes Zero laugh, a sound I have not yet heard in it's entirety, and I revel in the feeling of accomplishment it brings. I thread my fingers into his, fitting my long, slim fingers into his. It's a strange feeling, holding Zero's hand. Maybe it's because I've never been with anyone like him before but also because I know he understands me better than others, better than everyone, in fact. That scares me but in time, I think I can learn to get over that.

I hear the cracking of branches and leaves as Yuki approaches us, a smile on her face as usual. Zero and I stand, the both of us detaching our hands at the sight of the younger girl, and I lean back against the tree as pins and needles begin to ravage my legs.

I see a flash of white behind Yuki, as if a Night Student were standing behind her with their black on white uniforms, but I learn that that is actually the case in this matter.

"Maria, this is Zero and Tori," Yuki said to the girl behind her. "You wanna say hello?"

Yuki steps out of the way, revealing the small, fragile looking girl behind her. The girl's silver hair matches Zero's in colour but is thin and delicate unlike his which is thick and rough. Her eyes are violet, just like Zero's, and for a second, I wonder if they my somehow be related when the wave of energy hits me like a speeding tram.

In an instant, I have the feeling of uncomfortable control, like I am in the presence of higher power. It's distinct and memorable and I have only ever known two people who have ever exerted that kind of air. Both happen to be Purebloods. But I know, for a fact that this girl is not of pure vampire blood.

I can tell Zero feels this uneasy power too as he whips out his Bloody Rose, the barrel of the gun pointed straight at Maria's head. Although I know that something isn't right here, I grab ahold of the gun, it's metal feeling cool against my palm. Yuki jumps in front of Maria in a dramatic fashion, making a big deal out of a simple situation. _Well, simple to you, _the little voice in my head reminds me.

"Zero, no!" Yuki exclaimed, her eyes wide with excited energy. "You have no reason to do this. What's wrong?!"

Ignoring Yuki's excited comment, I turn my head to meet Zero's eyes, although he will not meet mine. "You feel that?" I said, gripping the gun harder. "I know that you can feel it to, but _this _is not the answer. This is not a shoot first, think later situation, Zero. Put. The gun. _Away." _

Zero seems to listen to my words, slowly, reluctantly, lowering his gun and putting it back inside his jacket. I don't wait for Yuki to question us as I snatch Zero's hand and drag him through the forest at full sprint, reaching the stables as fast as possible.

I'm puffing and panting by the time I stop, the last of my depleted energy reserves vanishing into the thin air. I lean against White Lily's stall door, coughing and trying to get enough oxygen into my lungs as humanly possible. _Well, not exactly _'humanly', _I would say. _Zero coughs beside me but unlike me, he isn't doubled over like he's just run a mile, which, in retrospect, I probably have.

"Who was she then?" I groaned, taking deep, slow, deliberate breaths. "That girl? Who was she really?"

Zero paces the stable with a distraught look plastered onto his face, his eyes wide with anger and fright. He doesn't answer me; in fact, he acts as if I hadn't even spoken at all. Frustrated already, I straighten my back and stand properly, although my lungs _and _ribs scream for me not to, and grab him by the shoulders to make him stop.

"Zero," I said in a quiet hushed tone. "Who was that Pureblood? She was hiding in that girl's body, I know but can you tell me who she was? That would help explain things."

Zero's eyes meet mine, his angry violet eyes clashing with my stormy blue eyes and he speaks.

"Shizuka Hio," He said, spitting out the words as if they were poison. "The Pureblood who butchered my family and turned me...into _this." _

The image of the woman with long silver hair and sad crimson eyes creeps into my mind at Zero's answer, the image of the woman I had stolen from him. I hadn't drank his blood long enough to know her name but I knew that she had major significance to him and he wasn't prepared to forget her. Obviously, if she's here _now, _Shizuka Hio is not prepared to forget Zero either.

"Are you sure?" I managed to choke out as Zero begins to pace again. "Are you positive it's her?"

"Of course, I am Tori," Zero growled, angry with too many things at one time. "How could I not know?!"

"Calm down, Zero," I said, fighting back the headache that had pushed itself into the back of my mind. "Now's not the time to - ouch, Jesus!"

All of a sudden, the pain of my headache intensifies to the point of a serious migraine, causing my legs to fail me and lose all feeling. I collapse onto my knees, yanking at my hair as if the lesser pain will distract me from the bigger pain. I hear a ringing in my ears, the kind you hear after you've been hit hard in the nose and I feel the urge to scream.

_Hold your tongue,_ the little voice in my head hissed. _I'll have your screams later. For now, I want your pain. _

The pain intensifies even more, to the pint where I can no longer feel Zero's arm around my shoulder nor hear him whispering into my ear. This couldn't possibly be an attack. Attacks aren't liked this, they creep up on you, they don't just appear subtly then explode like a live wire. They're gradual. Slow. Deliberate.

I heart the little voice in my head laugh, as if my own subconscious is amused by my pain.

_Your mistake, sister, was that thinking I'm only a voice in your head and nothing more. _

Sister? Why would my own subconscious be calling me sister? Is it a manifestation of my guilt? Is it something that I've forced myself to do, punish myself for what I did? But my own question is answer for me when I remember back to past attacks.

_Well done, Tor. I knew you'd understand once you picked up my little hints. _

Tor. Only one person in the world ever called me that and it annoyed me to the point of death. Only one person in the world.

Zali.

* * *

**Merry Christmas! And a plot twist for you and a plot twist for you. **

**So, as much as I would like to be reading Abundance of Katherines by John Green right now or sitting in front of the TV watching crappy Christmas shows, I'm not. I decided I'd give you guys a chapter for Christmas, because I'm just a nice person. Go figure.**

**Anyway, so yeah, I wasn't planning to write anything today at all but I felt like I'd let you guys down if I did, so I just sat down in my new, amazing designer high back chair, put my iPad in my lap, turned Lorde's 'Pure Heronine' onto repeat and wrote. A relatively stressful way to spend the afternoon. **

**So guys, how was your Christmas? Being in lovely Australia, we get Christmas a day early (It's the ONE thing we get before you guys) but as far as I know most people have had Christmas now. **

**And there's my lovely plot twist I put in for you all to stress about. Tell me what you think about it along with how your Christmas was. Put in a prediction about where you think Zali actually is. Mainly because it shall amuse me and to make up for the fact that I have up reading amazing books for you guys. **

**But I love you all anyway and so, I have to get to reading those amazing books now and you can all go enjoy YOUR presents too. Once you've written a review of course. God, I'm greedy. **

**Ask questions if you want, read, review follow, ow my wrists are hurting from typing and I'm gonna stop now. See you all either in the New Year or in a couple of days. I don't know. Let's just see how my heart's feeling after 'The Fiery Heart' by Richelle Mead. I may not recover from fangirl feels. **

**Wish me luck on that front. Merry Christmas guys and a Happy New Year to you all -HL**


	12. Known Betrayal

Chapter 11:

Known Betrayal

* * *

I wake from my nightmare a screaming mess, every nerve in my body aching, reaching, for comfort. Zali's image has painted itself on the back of my eyelids, haunting me in my drug induced sleep. I had tried hard to pull myself out of this torturous nightmare for what seemed like forever but the drug had kept me under, unable to bring myself back to the world of the living. _World of the living? Tori, you don't even know what that is anymore. _

Thrashing violently, I scream as I come into consciousness, tears streaming down my face.

"Leave me alone!" I shrieked, yanking at my hair. "_Get out of my head!" _

_Oh you didn't think it's be that easy, do you?, _Zali teased, the cruel element to her now recognisable voice sending horrible shivers down my spine.

"You aren't my sister," I sobbed, yanking at the sheets and tearing them to shreds. "You aren't who I remember."

_No, I'm not, _she replied. _Now, I'm exactly what I need to be. Cruel, distant and unattached. Just how she wanted me._

"She?" I yelled, growing angrier by the second. "Who is 'she'? Tell me!"

But she's gone, just as quickly as she came. And I screamed even more, screaming for the sadness I felt for losing my sister, screaming for the anger I felt at her for becoming so cruel, screaming at myself for being so naive. In between my screams, wails and sobs, Zero manages to find me, along with far too many other people.

He grips my arms, stopping me from pounding on his chest with closed fists, and whispers calming words to me that hardly do any good. At that point, it felt like nothing could calm me down.

"Shhh," Zero whispered frantically, drawing me in and holding me tight. "It's alright, Tori. I'm here-"

I struggle against him, sobbing violently. "_She's not dead! _She's not dead. She's not dead..."

Adelaide steps forward, placing a hand on Zero's shoulder. "Maybe we should give her more medication...put her under again-"

"No!" I snapped, halting my tears for a moment to defend my case. "Don't trap me in a nightmare like that again. I'll go insane if I do..."

"Sounds like you already have, honey," Yagari said, getting a vicious look from Adelaide in the process.

I shake my head, pushing myself away from Zero and back into the corner of the wall. I feel so angry, angry at not being believed or listened to. It's like I'm a small child who is innocent and not affected by the traumas of the world, oblivious to everyone and everything. It's a terrible feeling and I feeling I do not enjoy. Especially when everyone else is making me feel as if I'm going mad too.

"She's not dead," I whispered to myself. "Zali's not dead. I know she isn't."

Zero stares at me with worried eyes, his gaze making me feel like I'm under some kind of invisible pressure. Maybe his eyes aren't actually full of worry, more pity instead, pity I do not deserve. I'm not insane. I know it.

Shaking my head violently, I bury my face in my hands, more tears escaping my eyes as I do. "Get out. Get out! _Get out! Leave me alone!"  
_

Yagari and Kaien obey almost instantly, their hope in me lost completely. It's an understandable decision but it hurts, nonetheless. Adelaide hangs around a little longer, tears glistening in her eyes as she backs away from me bed and runs from the room. I can hear her sobbing as she runs after Yagari. The fact that even Adelaide is frightened of me hurts even more but the silence around me is calming and my tears slow down gradually.

Out of them all, Zero was the one to stay. He sits on the edge of my bed, watching me sadly, his fidgety state telling me that he's debating whether or not to move away or hold me. I wish he would go away, so I can clear my head and work things out but there's stubbornness in his expression, the kind that gives me the expression that he won't leave no matter what I do.

"She's not dead," I whispered, wiping my wet cheeks with the sleeve of my shirt. "I can hear her. She's not dead."

"Tori..." Zero whispered, crawling over to me and stroking my hair softly. It feels nice but too nice for someone like me. "Come back to me."

"I'm here, Zero. But you just don't understand me. _She. Is. Not. Dead." _

Zero frowns, furrowing his brow in confusion. "Who?"

"Zali," I said, the name tasting like acid on my tongue. "I can hear her. In my head. She talks to me, she threatens me, she taunts me. She...she's not the same, Zero. She's not the sister I once knew."

Zero sighs, the defeat in his voice making me feel even worse. "Tori, please stop. Your sister's dead. You said you felt her die in your arms."

I snort, wrapping my arms around myself. "Yeah, right because I was entirely lucid then. I wasn't even thinking straight and I passed out after I fed from her. How the hell was I supposed to know if I had killed her or not? She could have lost consciousness for all I know."

"Tori-"

"Stop, using my name like that," I hissed, tugging at my shirt sleeves anxiously. "Stop using it like you're a parent disciplining a child. I need you to listen, not criticise."

"It's a theory, Tori, _a theory," _Zero exclaimed, shaking his head. "You can't prove that it's true."

"Zero, please, _please,_ believe me. I'm not crazy, I swear. Zali is alive but I just don't know where. Zero...please..."

Tears begin to fall down my cheeks again, wetting my cheeks even more. I wish I wasn't crying so much but my emotions are a jumbled mess, unable to be repaired in their current state. I'm too vulnerable to be seen like this, even by Zero, but now I can't help it.

Zero doesn't say a word, doesn't utter a sound. He crawls over to me and pulls me into his arms, letting me latch onto him tightly and cry the last of my tears. He holds me even tighter, kissing the tears away as they come. He whispers comforting words into my ear, trying to calm me down as best he can. Those words eventually do affect me, after a good ten minutes, but I still feel so confused and excited that it feels as if Zero did nothing at all.

"You still don't believe me, do you?" I whispered, drawing imaginary circles on the back of his neck.

"It's hard to believe anything anymore, Tori. You, most of all, should know that."

* * *

After an unnecessarily long time repeatedly telling Kaien that I was fine and didn't need any medical or physiological attention, I managed to get back to school without too much worry. I guess I needed the problems, the discussions and the study to keep my mind astray, away from the worries of my not-so-dead sister and my incredibly messed up theory.

With finals coming up, most of the girls that hang around the Moon Dorm gates after school have decided to actually study for once and give us a much needed break. Besides, I don't know how much longer I would have been able to hang around those vampires. Even being in their presence makes me sick now.

Walking along with Zero and Yuki was meant to be at least calming, despite the worried looks Zero continuously shoots my way, but when more talk of exams comes up, I can't help but groan.

"Please do not mention those evil things in my presence," I sighed. "Are you trying to give me a headache? One thing at a time please."

"Well aren't you a little depressed about the exams?" Yuki asked. "I mean, I know you're smart and all but-"

"I find exams easy," I said, cutting off Yuki's little ramble. "It's assignments that bother me. And when I have to do an assignment in the place of an exam, I get pissed. That make sense?"

Yuki shrugs. "I guess. Assignments are graded more harshly. Hey, you excited for the dance party?"

"Oh Jesus," I groaned, infinite amounts of bad thoughts swirling around my head. "Why was I not told of this?"

"It's not _that _big a deal. We'll probably be on security detail anyway."

Security? Fine, I thought, that's more than enough. Even though I have plenty of nice dresses, I was not going to go to the effort of my make-up. I would be standing in front of the mirror for a good hour and I know it. No. Dressing up. For. Me.

A rustling in the bushes catches my attention quickly, the yelled words even more so afterwards.

"Maria, you can't go over there! Day Class is still in school, we shouldn't be out!"

The voice sounded distinctly like Takuma's and my suspicion is confirmed when I see Maria skip gracefully up the walkway on the other side of the garden, Takuma running after her in a hurry. It would have been amusing, had I not wanted to throw up at the sight of Maria. Or should I say Shizuka instead?

Yuki tries to run off and help, but Zero catches her arm, tugging her back in line.

"Stay away from that new student," He hissed. "The Vice President can handle her. Leave it alone Yuki."

Yuki looks as if she's about to protest but as she looks to me for support, I shake my head, signalling her to stop.

"Okay..." She muttered, letting her arm fall from Zero's grasp.

The sickening feeling grows worse in the pit of my stomach and I feel all blood drain from my face. Being around a Pureblood, even if it was only for a split second and she was in the body of another, was too much for me to take.

I begin to walk away, gagging inwardly, only to run straight into Hanabusa, who I had not noticed standing before me. He smiles cheekily at me and I have the sudden urge to punch him but Zero's onto me, knowing exactly what I'd do. He catches my arm before I even close my fist but his eyes do not settle on me. They're fixed on Aidou, a mutual understanding passing between the two before my eyes.

"Aidou, could I talk to you for a second?" Zero asked, tightening his grip on my wrist as I strain my arm against his strength.

"Hm, that's good," Aidou said. "I was hoping to speak with you as well."

"Zero," I said warningly, "What's this about?"

"Noth-"

"Don't give me 'nothing', Zero. Because obviously, it is not 'nothing'. What's wrong?"

Zero and Aidou exchange looks, annoying me even more with their near telepathic communication. Eventually, Hanabusa shrugs and waves us over, signalling us to follow him.

My reasoning for this event is only pure guess work, but I have a feeling my guess work is near perfect. The only reason I can see that Zero would endure Aidou for a good ten-minutes or so, is to learn about Shizuka Hio. He's brave in my eyes. I can only handle Aidou for a good ten seconds.

We reach an empty balcony, untouched by anyone other than us, and Aidou begins to speak, much to my annoyance as his comments usually piss me off bit by bit.

"You know Zero, it's lucky you're here," He remarked, balancing on the edge of the balcony. "None of the girls will come near me while you're around. They're too scared of you."

Zero ignores his comment, just as I expected him to. "Does Maria Kurenai have any relation to..._that woman?" _

"_That woman_? Come on Zero, you're going to have to be a little more instructive than that."

Anger flashes before Zero's eyes but I see no cracks in his unnaturally calm demeanour, no signs of losing control. It's much better than what I would have done.

"Shizuka...Hio..." He muttered, his words sounding weak and bitter.

"How rude, not to acknowledge our queen with her honourable title. Well, I guess it doesn't matter to you, not since she was the one who murdered your family... Kurenai is an old, distant relative of Hio. Unfortunately, that's all I know."

Zero bows his head, not satisfied with the lack of information. "If her appearance changed, is that why no one has heard from her in four years?"

Hanabusa shrugs, his limited knowledge on the subject becoming stretched. "I wouldn't know. Only a Pureblood can know how many powers are at their disposal. Only a Pureblood can transfer into another's body. But you should know. You have a...blood bond with her."

The mentioning of blood bonds sends shivers down my spine and I can only pinpoint one reason why. I have a blood bond with the Pureblood who turned me. I have a link with him, a forced link that I never wanted.

No matter what I do, like Zero, I will always be bound to thing I most despise.

* * *

Helping Yuki study was not how I planned to spend my evening. I had walked into the dining room hoping for some peace and quiet where I could read, only to be pounced on by the Headmaster as soon as I walked in. Well, not physically pounced, but if words were punches, I would have been knocked out.

""_Atticus said to Jem one day, "I'd rather you shot at tin cans in the backyard, but I know you'll go after birds. Shoot all the blue jays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." That was the only time I ever heard Atticus say it was a sin to do something, and I asked Miss Maudie about it. "Your father's right," she said. "Mockingbirds don't do one thing except make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corn cribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird_.""

Yuki glanced at me curiously, looking up from her essay. "I still don't get it."

"Get what?" I asked, not looking up from the page of my book.

"How you love that book so much," She said. "There's no action. No romance. No nothing. How do you endure it?"

Sighing, I close the book gently and place it on the table carefully. "A book doesn't need romance or violence just to be interesting. There _is _violence in this book, but it's quite brief. It's not about any of that. It's about a little girl, who's seeing a very adult world before her and trying to understand it. The world she lives in is a world of prejudice, racism and lies and yet, she can still see the better portions of it. It's beautiful, Yuki. You're just not looking far enough into it."

Yuki sighs, putting her essay away and pulling out the maths problems she was yet to solve. "Can you help me on this?"

"I suck at maths," I replied, tapping my fingers on the surface of the table. "Do not get me involved in that torture."

Yuki rolls her eyes but smiles, putting her head down and beginning to work. It doesn't take long before she slams her pencil down on the desk in anger, unable to understand. I can do nothing to help her, since I'm absolutely hopeless at the subject but I get lucky, as Zero walks into the room.

"Can you help her?" I sighed, leaning back in my chair. "You're the one who's good at math out of us."

Zero shrugs, sitting down in the chair opposite Yuki, and agrees. "Considering your math skills, Tori, I wouldn't leave Yuki to be tutored by you."

Instinctively, I throw a scrunched up piece of paper at his head, quickly opening my book and staring to read a random page to cover up for what I did. I watch Zero over the top of my book, lowering my eyes every time he looks over at me, and smile to myself as he shakes his head at me. It's so strange what he does to me, how he makes me act like a little girl again, but I like it. It's a break from my usual gloom-and-doom routine. Change is good, in my eyes at least.

The sound of Yuki's pen scribbling on paper stops suddenly and I am forced by the silence to look up. Zero holds his neck, staring absent-mindedly into the air. He seems to be thinking about something but I can't quite know what. He's like dice; you never know what you're gonna get until roll the die. You never know what Zero's going to be like until you ask him.

"Your neck's bothering you, isn't it?" I said, placing my book down. "It hurts?"

Zero looks up at me, his eyes glassy and tired. "The place where that woman bit me...it aches."

I can't help but frown, knowing what he's going through. It's sick, to think that Purebloods have absolute and complete control over the both of us, that we don't even own our own bodies. It's disgusting and wrong and yet I am subjugated to it.

"Hey, Tori..." Yuki said timidly, looking over at me with curious eyes. "Did you...Did you know that your sister had died? When you...fed from her, I mean?"

The question didn't make me angry at Yuki at all. It was an innocent question, meant to have a simple answer. No harm done. The majority of my rage and anger was instead, directed at Zero.

"You told her?" I said quietly, so quietly that I sounded dangerous, even to myself. "_You told her?!" _

Zero's eyes widen in surprise when I yell at him, the distinct cracking of wood sound through the room as I dig my nails into the table. Zero fumbles and stutters over his words, hardly convincing me of his innocence. In an angry hurry, I storm out of the room, swearing loudly as I leave the building.

It was so stupid, so idiotic, to tell him about Zali. I knew I shouldn't have trusted him with my secrets, should have trusted him at all. I was an idiot anyway, caving when he kissed me and taking it too far. I was a child chasing fairy tales. I should have known better. In the end, there are no happy endings. Life is not fair enough for that.

"Tori!"

I hear Zero running after me but I ignore him entirely, too angry to even yell at him to go away. I just want to leave. I just want to be gone. Much to my annoyance, Zero catches up and snatches my arm, to which I swing around and throw a lousy punch that he easily catches. It was a stupid decision, considering he now has both my arms and I only have my legs to fight with, which are still fighting off bouts of pins-and-needles.

Using my limited strength, I shove Zero away, which surprisingly works, making him stumble a few meters away from me.

"Leave me alone, Zero!" I yelled. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Tori, I'm so-"

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare say you're fucking sorry," I screamed, already feeling tears flood my eyes. "How could you tell her? How could you tell her what I did, Zero?"

"I had to," Zero snapped. "Yuki wanted to know what was wrong with you and I tried to lie but I couldn't lie to her, Tori. You know I'd never be able to lie to Yuki."

"It wasn't your secret to tell, Zero! Just because you have more of a liking to Yuki rather than me doesn't mean you can go telling people my secrets."

"What?! Tori, I don't like Yuki lik-"

"Oh, don't insult me so much. I'm not that stupid. I see the way you look at her. She's the little princess you'd die for and love; I'm the slut you'd fuck and leave high and dry. I don't care what your excuse is anymore, Zero. I want you to leave."

Zero stares at me, stunned, his mouth hanging open slightly as tears slide down my cheeks. I can't forgive him. Not after he did what he did. That secret may not be true anymore but it haunts me nonetheless. It still manages to kill me every time I think about it. And he told someone else.

Angry with everything and everyone, I turn and run, bolting through the forest as fast as I can. My legs burn but I love the feeling as it distracts me from the hurt in my heart. It distracts me from the betrayal I feel. It distracts me from the world.

Tired, nauseous and alone, I stop, leaning against a tree, taking deep breaths to give my lungs much needed oxygen. As much as I would like, it doesn't help my broken heart. In a way, I think I may have loved Zero, in a way that I've never loved anyone before. But now that love is shattered, destroyed beyond repair by the horrible thing that was placed between us. I should never have got close. You only get hurt when you get close.

"Feeling a little alone, are we?"

That voice...that damned voice that I've been hearing in my head for over a year and a half now...I can hear it aloud. I turn my head to the source of her voice, holding my breath as I do.

A little girl stands there, her long dark hair braided down her back and her sea blue eyes sparkling in the dim light. I know those eyes too well, so well to the point that I could draw them perfectly whilst blind-folded.

I was right the entire time. My sister isn't dead. No...she's standing right in front of me.

* * *

**Let the fangirling and depression commence. **

**I feel evil now. Should I feel evil? Who am I kidding? Being a writer is pure evil anyway.**

**Before I get hateful messages about me splitting Zero/Tori (someone invent a ship name please. I hate using / these things.), I'm only temporarily splitting them. They shall be back together eventually. Just give them some time. Well, really give Tori some time cause she is completely messed up at the momento. **

**So, how you all liking the story so far? I still have so much more story to tell and I'd be absolutely ecstatic if you all stuck with me all the way through. That is, if I live through all these Vampire Academy stills being released every single day. Cue obscene fangirling. **

**So there you go. Read, Review, ask me questions if you want and wait patiently ****for the next chapter. **

**That sounded suspiciously like an airline safety demonstration. **

**I should probably stop now. I've been up since five this morning and it's not doing wonders for my brain. Love you guys -HL**


	13. Painful Truth

Chapter 12:

Painful Truth

* * *

"You aren't surprised."

Zali takes a step forward, her dark black dress swaying gracefully with her. Her movements are swift, graceful and cat-like, giving me the impression of something I don't want to believe. Her eyes follow me as she walks, her bare feet stepping silently along the ground.

"I knew you were still alive," I said, surprised by the steadiness of my voice. "It doesn't take much to see that you are."

Zali giggled, a smug smile decorating her young, youthful face. "No, it doesn't, does it? You've grown since I last remember. You're much prettier now. Then again, you always used to wear six inches of make-up that covered all your features back then so that's understandable."

I swallow down my disgust toward the thing that had once been my sister standing before me, every cell in my body screaming out me to run. "You're taller," I whispered. "You're still short but you're taller."

Zali' smile widened slightly, giving the gesture a mocking tone. "Yes, I think I have. Despite what I am...what _we _are...I seem to have grown. Curious, isn't it?"

"No, I don't think it's fucking curious," I hissed, letting my anger take hold. "How, Zali? How are you alive?"

Zali shakes her head, sighing sadly. Every gesture she makes gives her some sort of superior air that makes me feel sick to the stomach, a kind of air that usually I wield. It's so unusual and unnatural, for a girl of eleven to act as if she's a fully grown woman. What happened to the cheeky, shy little sister I once knew and loved?

"It seems you haven't worked that out either," She sighed, leaning up against the tree opposite me. "So naive, you must be, to not have at least theorised about how I could have survived."

"I've theorised," I snapped. "But I'm done working with theories and half truths. I want answers. Tell me how you survived Zali or so help me God, I'll-"

"You'll what?" Zali said, holding up a finger as if to shush me. "You'll kill me? We both know you don't have the heart for that. It's not in your nature. You wouldn't torture me. We have almost identical powers, sister. We can do just as much damage to each other with the exception of our main. You're all out of bargaining options, Tori."

Identical powers? I think for a moment, the pieces of the puzzle clicking together inside my head until I have the full picture. The headaches, the attacks, the voices. It was all Zali. She was the one causing me so much pain and agony, which I mistook for attacks of hunger. She was doing exactly what I did to Aidou and the Level E girl. She causes pain.

"Worked it out?" Zali cocks her head at me, her blue eyes haunting me with their excess knowledge. "Shizuka taught me all I knew. She's the reason I lived. When you _almost _killed me, our master came and found me, lying half alive in the wreckage of his madness. He had bitten me as well as you and I had turned, just like you. I was his servant essentially and since he thought me too young to be useful, he gave me away. I ended up in Shizuka Hio's hands. She knew of our special blood, of the powers we possessed deep in our veins, and she taught me how to use them. She became my new master, Tori. She was my new mother."

I cannot believe what my sister was saying. Shizuka Hio? Her _mother_? It was an insult, not only to our real mother, the woman who raised us and made us who we are, but to me as well. Was our family just not good enough for her? Was I not good a sister as I could have been? In the end, I know the answer to that question and I do not like the answer.

"How could you?" I hissed, anger bubbling to a boil in my blood. "How could you stand by and watch me suffer like I did? How could you do it?"

"It was fun to watch you finally crumble to bits," She replied, hardly noticing my harsh tone. "Fun to watch you grieve when I knew full well the memory of me would torment you. I liked that. It was good to see you finally crack."

"Good? _Fun? _You found my pain...fun?"

Anger turns into rage as my nails crack into the wood of tree behind me, my chest feeling even more broken and hurt than ever. What's happened? What has happened to the life I knew?

"Angry, are we, Tori?" Zali said. "So much rage. So much hate. You can feel it can't you? My indifference."

I stare into my sister's heartless eyes, confused on what exactly she meant. Zali giggles, running her hands through her dark braided hair. She looks so young with her hair like that, so sweet and so innocent. It's such a shame to know that in reality, she is not as innocent as she looks.

"We have a two-way bond, Tori," Zali whispered a-matter-of-factly. "You can feel what I feel if you concentrate hard enough. You can also speak to me in my mind if you concentrate even harder. That's how I do it, how I speak to you and how I cause you that head-splitting pain. You can do it as well Tori. But it takes such a long time to master it, utilise the power you have. I doubt you'll master it in the time of a month."

I open my mouth the respond, fury burning hot and fierce in the pit of my stomach, when a particular smell reaches me. It's so recognisable, I hardly even have to think.

"Seems your boyfriend's in a bit of trouble," Zali said. "I wonder how long Shizuka will tease him before she kills him."

Without even thinking, I sprinted in the direction of the smell, the small protesting part of my mind speaking the loudest. Why are you doing this? You promised yourself you'd never speak to him again. Now you're going to save his life? Let him go, Tori, let him go. But I can't let him go. Not when the woman you ruined my sister is right there, so close, so ready for me to kill her. No...I'm not doing this for Zero. I'm doing this for the sister I lost.

Sprinting toward the hall with my dagger drawn, I burst in through the heavy steel doors, my strength being dramatically increased as adrenaline kicks in.

Zero and Maria stand in a clash of blade and pistol, as Maria fights to pull out of Zero's block. My entrance distracted Zero, making him turn his head to look at me. I wish he didn't. Because that's when the pain starts.

Mind-numbing, unbearable pain erupts in my body, making my legs collapse out from underneath me. I scream, in too much agony to care who hears. Every limb, every nerve, seems to have set on fire within, burning me from the inside out. I can't hear anything but my own screams at this point but the smell of Zero's blood floods nose at an even more intense rate, making my feeling of hunger ignite.

"Enough!" Maria yelled. "There was no need to interfere."

"There was," Zali said, cutting off the pain abruptly. "She knows how-"

"I don't care! Now, we must leave quickly. When are wounds are healed, we will be fighting again. The same goes for your sister."

I don't hear the rest of their conversation. I'm immobilised, unable to do anything but lie there with the dull memory of pain. I turn my head, staring at Zero with a helpless gaze, every muscle in my body seizing up as I try to move.

I never get to recover in time to reach him. All I hear is a cruel snappy voice in my head then I fall head-first into unconsciousness.

_Lights out._

* * *

Waking up was the problem when my eyes flutter open and I cough and splutter until I'm fully out of my daze. It's getting up and moving that was going to cause me some trouble.

Every muscle in my body aches as I sit up, the dull ache in my head making it hard to concentrate. I seemed to have been moved from the hall into a room I don't recognise at all and my hair has been pulled out of it's braid so that my long hair falls down my back and over my shoulders. Even though my mind is clouded and I'm still putting the pieces back together, I can't help but wonder; why would Zali take me back?

Rubbing my eyes to clear my vision, I look around the large and _almost _empty room. Zali sits in the middle of the room, leaning against the legs of a man with silver hair and a mask, a man who looks startlingly familiar. Zali smiles as she sees me, her smile not quite reaching her tired eyes.

"It seems at least one of our siblings is awake, Ichiru," She said. "And here I was hoping to see your brother awaken first. What a shame..."

Ichiru? That name...it's far too familiar for me to forget it or it's significance. I feel sick to the stomach as I remember the small silver haired boy from Zero's memories, an almost exact copy of Zero's face. I can't help but feel sorry for Zero, despite my anger toward him. This is his brother who's going against him. His _twin _brother.

"Let me go, Zali," I hissed, wincing as the pain in my head sharply intensifies. "You can't stop me from trying to leave."

"No," She replied, staring blankly into nothingness. "I cannot. But I can cause you as much pain as I like, which would stop you easily."

Anger flares in the pit of my stomach yet again and this time I have a plan of attack. A hazy plan, I have to admit, but I did make it up in ten seconds flat, so of course the idea was going to be sketchy. Concentrated as hard as I can, I force myself into Zali's mind, only to hit what felt like a solid brick wall. I snap back to myself, gasping for air as Zali laughs, clearly amused by my rage-filled attack.

"Well, that was pretty stupid," She chuckled, standing from the ground. "I'd have thought you'd known better."

Groaning in pain, I manage to get out a response. "Yeah, I did too."

"Look," Zali chimed, turning her attention away from me to the bed on the other side of the room. "It seems the boy is waking up."

Boy? I quickly look over, holding my breath as I do. In the shadows cast over the bed, I can vaguely see Zero sit up in bed, his silver hair and pale skin giving him a faint outline in the dark. My stomach churns and I have the dull feeling of hunger as his neck is exposed. I grip the sheets a little harder, fighting for control over my body.

Zero turns his head toward Ichiru, his eyes full of disappointment but no surprise as I was expecting. He frowns, staring at his twin intently.

"Will you take that ridiculous mask off?" He snapped. "No use hiding from me."

I hear Ichiru chuckle, lifting a hand to his face and pull the plain mask that covered the upper half of his face. "So," He said, taking a step forward. "My brother remembers me."

"Surprised?" Zali said, clasping her hands together behind her back and skipping to the window. "Are you surprised that we let you both live, Tori? You shouldn't be. _You, _most of all, are much to valuable to kill."

"Valuable?" I snapped, pulling myself to my feet. "Zali, I swear to God-"

"God?" Zali laughed, shaking her head. "God's not going to help you any time soon, nor will he help Zero. You're in our hands now, so tread carefully."

I lunge forward, my anger taking hold, only to crumble to the ground in complete agony, my body ravaged my painful spasms as I scream. I hear Zali laugh before cutting off the pain. I lie there on the ground, recovering from my shock.

"Does it hurt, Zero?" Ichiru said, pointing his sword at me. "To see _her _in so much pain?"

Zero doesn't answer him but instead diverts the conversation. "Why are you doing this, Ichiru? Our family was murdered by _that woman, _and yet you obey her?!"

"Complicated situation," Zali said, kneeling down beside me and turning my head to meet her eyes. "Isn't it, Tori?"

Ichiru continues to taunt his brother, not that I can pay much attention as Zali grabs my hair and yanks my head to the side, jarring my neck brutally. I hiss, the sound emerging from the animal part inside of me.

"Well, sister," Zali growled, digging a nail into the skin of my neck, the smell of my blood filling the air. "Let's see if that special blood we share tastes just as good as people say it is."

Before I can fight her, Zali leans down and sinks her fangs into my neck, searing pain igniting my body as she does. But it's not the kind of pain that Zali causes. No...it's the pain of hunger that's emerged. Luckily for her, the pain has me immobilised me, leaving me defenceless and at the mercy of my younger sister. I can't move without my body screaming at me to stop, the pain becoming too unbearable for my mind.

In a vulnerable state, I do something I know I won't be proud of but I do it anyway, for the sake of my own body. I scream, for the person I need to most.

"_Zero!" _

Zali stops drinking my blood to covering my mouth, her blood covered mouth and glowing red eyes showing as she snaps her head toward Zero. I hear him try to advance toward me but I know it's too late. Zali's already onto him.

I hear Zero groan, collapsing onto his knees as Zali's pain pushes him to breaking point.

"Don't you dare come near us," She hissed, sounded less and less like my little sister with every word. "This is between _us. _Do you really think she cares about you? I've seen her go through tens of boys, time and time again. You're nothing special, you're just another toy for her to play with. Don't you see?"

In her moment of anger, I feel the urge to break free. With her distracted, I force myself into her mind, concentrating hard to break through that brick wall of a barrier in her mind. My blood loss makes it harder but I manage it, breaking through and beginning what I intended to do from the start. _Pain. _

Zali screams, falling back onto her back as I scramble out of her grip. The pain of hunger has it's claws dug in a little deeper now but I push through the pain as I run toward the door. Unfortunately, Ichiru knows my intentions before I even make it two feet. He grabs me by the throat, digging a fingernail into Zali's bite wound and slams me back onto the ground. It doesn't hurt as much as I expected; Ichiru's not that strong anyway but I still feel my half-healed ribs snap yet again and maybe another crack as well.

"Bitch!" Zali yelled, obviously not happy with me. "You fucking bitch."

Through my coughing and spluttering, I still manage to get out a sarcastic comment. "Now, now...what would our mother think if she heard you speak that kind of language?"

Zali growls, crouching back into a predatory stance. "Shut up. Shut up!"

"Zali!" Ichiru snapped. "That's enough. Shizuka said not to kill her-"

"I don't give a shit what Shizuka said," Zali hissed. "I want her blood and I want it now!"

With a stroke of luck, the exit door bursts open, Yagari and Adelaide coming in through the open space.

"Tori!" Adelaide runs forward, only to be stopped by Ichiru, who she easily pushes out of the way. It doesn't surprise me, considering that Adelaide is a fully trained vampire hunter and Ichiru was hardly even trained as a child due to his health. She kneels down beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder, thinking it will comfort me, but it only causes more pain.

"Don't touch me," I gasped. "It'll only make it worse."

Adelaide opens her mouth to speak but she notices Zali first, halting her train of thought. She stands, whipping out her sword as she does, and stands over me as a sort of guardian.

"Stay away from her," She said, sounding dangerously calm. "Don't you dare come near."

Zali sighs, standing up from her crouch and brushing off the dust from her dress. "Now the game is ruined. So unfair. Come along, Ichiru...we've toyed with them enough."

Zali turns and pushes open the window behind her, before jumping up onto the ledge and stepping out. Ichiru has disappeared by the time she is gone as well, with Yagari by Zero's side, he has no road block. We lost them.

Broken and shamed, I bury my head in my hands and let those stupid tears of mine fall, letting every emotion loose as I break down. I've lost her, is all I can think. I've lost my baby sister. Every memory I've ever had of her seems to be tainted now, tainted with the image of her ruined fate and her twisted personality. I cannot say that I'me not surprised because I am. Not that she hated me. Not that she was a vampire. Not even that she had powers like me.

I was surprised by the fact that Shizuka Hio had turned _my sister, _a girl so young, innocent and pure, into something I could not longer recognise...

* * *

**Eleven o'clock at night, and I HAVE STILL NOT HAD DINNER! **

**So before I go run off and get food, I'm gonna make an author's note because I realised that you guys actually read these. Strange...**

_**Saphizcool:**_** Zori? Interesting ship name. I shall take it under advisement. **

**_LittleDragonRider: _Yes. Yes indeed. I am evil. And yes you called it...**

_**Imncake: **_**We all sound like stalkers sometimes. It's not that bad.**

**Sorry, I just felt like replying to those because I'm bored. School holidays tend to do that to you. **

**Okay, so what do you think of Zali, temperamental woman-child? I love writing her parts, I swear to God I do. **

**Read, Review, ask me questions if you want and I will answer them as soon as possible. **

**I hope to be getting the next chapter up by tomorrow, maybe later, because I'm kind of planning to just sit in my chair and read books all day but we'll see how that goes, considering I'm probably just gonna read one sad book, die, then have the need to write again. **

**Wait patiently and...yeah. I'm gonna go get food now. Bye :P-HL**


	14. Monsters

Chapter 13:

Monsters

* * *

_Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!_

The sound of gunshots bounces off the shooting range walls, making my ears ring with an awful buzz that irritates me to no end. Not that I pay much attention, with tears running down my cheeks and my hands shaking as I reload the gun. I feel as if my pain is dulled thanks to my raging emotions, my hunger not bothering me as much as it should. No matter how much I hate guns, there's something calming about firing one, like taking your frustration out on a punching bag but without the effort. at the moment, that's just what I need. I'm too tired to do anything at this point.

I fire off a few more shots, only to break down into more tears and sobs as memories of Zali surface with sharp painful stabs. It hurts so much to think about her still, no matter how much I try to convince myself that there's nothing I ever could have done to have helped her.

Placing my gun down in the bench, I lean against the barricade, trying my best to contain my sobs despite my shattered emotions.

"You're a good shot."

Zero's voice was not the first thing I wanted to hear in my current state. I was still quite angry with him, enraged to the point of hate but I miss him as well. I miss him so much that it hurts. But unfortunately, everything hurts now.

"Thanks..." I muttered, shakily wiping the tears from my cheeks.

Zero walks up beside me, the sound of his steps echoing through the now silent room. I cringe as he approaches, stepping away from his outstretched hand.

"Don't touch me," I whispered. "Don't...Don't touch me..."

Zero pulls his hand away reluctantly, sighing at my new hatred of being touched by him. He puts his hands in his pockets and leans against the bench a few inches away from me.

"You alright?" Zero asked, trying to be sincere.

I laugh, although there is no humour in my voice. "No. No, I am not alright, Zero. I just had my little sister torture me, I'm not exactly in a great state of mind."

Zero sighs, raking a hand through his hair. "Your sister...she's-"

"Gone. That...that _thing _is not my sister. My sister died that night at my home, when I sunk my fangs into her neck."

It's a harsh truth, I have to admit, but in a way, I am accepting it. I know I'll never get my sister back, not after what she has become. I can cry and weep all I want but there's nothing I can do to bring her back. Shizuka Hio has ruined her just as much as I have.

"Tori..." Zero said, taking a step toward me. "You should come back. You're weak-"

"I'm fine," I hissed, retreating away from him. "I'm fine, Zero. I'm fine on my own."

Zero continues to advance forward, backing me into a corner and against the wall. I curse myself for being backed into a corner so soon, trapped without escape. In a way, it reminds me of the first time he kissed me, pinning me against my desk and holding me close. I miss those times, how close we were and how we could share most things with each other. I miss it more than I ever expected I would.

"Zero..." I whimpered, wrapping my arms around myself. "Please...just leave me be..."

Zero steps in close, unraveling my arms around myself and placing them around his neck. I give in, too tired to fight anymore, too tired to care who I touch anymore. I bury my face in the crook of his neck, the faint reminder of hunger creeping into my mind at a slow, deliberate pace.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, hugging him tighter. "I'm so sorry, Zero. About...about everything."

Zero holds me tight, absent-mindedly playing with my hair. "I'm sorry too..."

It was as if I couldn't help it anymore, like I couldn't hold on to the dregs last of my control long enough to stop myself from drinking his blood. But I was weak, tired and vulnerable. Anne Rice's quote creeped into my head as I lifted my head and bit into Zero's skin, letting the undeniable bliss take over. _A starving child is a frightful sight. A starving vampire, even worse._

Bursts of colour and sparks appear in my mind, all of them merging together to form memories that belong to Zero, not me. I see Yuki, a younger version that is, guiding Zero through the halls of the Academy. I see Kaname standing in a doorway, rage bubbling in Zero's veins as he snatches his knife from the dinner table and attacks. I see everything and it makes me sick. Just before I pull away from him, my thirst finally being quenched, I see an image of myself, with my angry storm blue eyes and long brown hair that could almost be classified as blonde.

With my nerves singing and my mouth tasting familiarly of Zero's blood, I slump back against the wall, defeated and once again, broken.

"Is this all we are?" I muttered, wiping Zero's blood from the corner of my mouth. "Monsters who just...drink and drink until there's no one left for us to kill? Is that all we are?"

Zero sighed, brushing a stray hair behind my ear. "Who knows anymore? In the end, we don't even know who the monsters are until we meet them, face-to-face."

* * *

"I am not getting dressed up."

Zero rolled his tired eyes, blocking my door with his body as he leans against the door frame. "You could at least try to look nice."

"Since when do you care?" I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. "Yuki's not getting dressed up. Neither are you. I'm fine in uniform, Zero. More room to move."

I turn around, walking over to my desk to turn on my music that had fallen silent, _again. _I reach out, only to feel a sharp stab to my side, to which I yank my arm back. The fight between Ichiru and my sister had broken my almost completely healed ribs, even fracturing one in one place, but I was determined to not let it affect me as I had the nurse patch it up as best as she could. I didn't think it was going to hurt this much. But surprisingly, it doesn't hurt as much as it did. Zero's blood must have done that.

Zero comes up behind me, lightly placing his hand on my ribs. I wince, the surprise of being touched affecting me more than the sharp pain. It feels like I've been stabbed with a needle now, a long needle rather than a sword. It's more irritating than painful like this.

"That still hurt?" Zero asked, shifting his hand to swing me around and face him.

"Yeah," I replied, slowly lifting my arms up so that I can wrap them around his neck. "Not as bad though."

"You sure?"

"I hope so. I'm not planning on breaking any more of the damn things. I like being able to move my arms without sudden pains in my ribs."

Zero shakes his head, that small smile of his appearing again, and lowers his lips down to mine. I smile into the kiss, feeling my flirtatious and, admittedly, slutty side come on. What Zali had said about Zero being only another toy for me was wrong beyond measure. I have the feeling that I may even love this boy, not that I'd care to admit it, and he makes me happy, unlike all the others before him.

Reluctantly pulling away, I rest my forehead against his, taking in this moment for all that's worth and promising to hold onto it for only a second before diving into a topic that will only get me bad places.

"What will you do about Shizuka?" I whispered, holding onto Zero a little tighter so that he doesn't slip away. "What's going to happen to your brother Zero? And my sister, too?"

Zero grows incredibly still, holding me locked in that one place for far too long. His eyes flick open, his jaw clenched tight as he answers me.

"I don't know, Tori," He replied. "I will kill her, I know that...but I don't know what will happen to Ichiru or your sister. I don't want to know, either. I'd much rather deal with things as they come."

As they come...every instinct I have screams at me, knowing that dealing with problems as they come is the worst way to solve them. I know that for a fact. I used to do the same thing and it got me into far too much trouble, in so little time.

Zero leaves not long after that, our conversation trailing off with the mentioning off the Pureblood woman who ruined more than just Zero and his family. He still managed a goodbye kiss, which was sweet and short but weak and unconvincing. I have a bad feeling growing in the pit of my stomach, the kind that you never, ever, want to feel about the person you love. I know Zero's planning something without telling me; I could taste it vaguely in his blood, and it worries me to think that he'd try something without consulting me first. It scares me; plain and simple.

I decide against my previous statement of not getting dressed up for the dance. I thought that I should at least look decent for the dance, no matter how I feel. I spend a good thirty minutes on make-up, which is less time than I thought but still too long for my better judgement. Gold always looked good on me, so I go from there, picking out a gold and, regrettably, glittery dress that has an open back and stops about two thirds of the way down my thighs. I keep my hair up, twisting it into a reasonably good looking bun before realising that I made a mistake on my eye make up and starting again. Having my father's perfectionist traits was not exactly doing well for me in that moment.

Just as I'm about to leave, I hear a shy knock on my door, a knock that I can easily guess belongs to Yuki. She jumps as I open the door, obviously not expecting me to still be in my dorm.

"Hey," I said, leaning against the door frame. "What's wrong?"

Yuki looks down at her dress, nervously tugging at her sleeves as she does. Her body language tells me all I need to know.

"Feeling self-conscious?" I asked, knowing full-well what the answer will be. "Come on. Inside."

Yuki looks up at me nervously, my five-inch heels not exactly helping our already distanced height difference, and walks into my room. I kick off my shoes, knowing full well that I'll be bending down if I don't, and guide her over to my dressing table, where I sit her down before rummaging through my things in search of workable make-up.

"Thank you," Yuki said, her eyes following me around the room. "You didn't have to-"

"No, I didn't, did I? But you'd have that anxious look on your face all night and I'm sure it would bother me."

My interruption clearly rattled her confidence around me but she pushes on, like the stubborn girl she is. "Are you alright?" She asked as I sit down beside her, staring with eyes first. "I mean, you and Zero...you disappeared for a while-"

"Shhh," I snapped, putting a finger on my lips to emphasise my point. "Don't talk about that. There are so many more topics that _won't_depress me, thank you. Eyes closed, please."

Yuki closes her eyes, letting me get to work with pale pink eyes shadow and silver eyeliner. But still, she persists to talk, despite my slowly crumbling calm demeanour.

"I'm sorry about...mentioning your sister," She said, almost making me ruin her eyeliner. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so sorry."

I shrug, too distract to even think of a snappy comment. "It's alright," is all I can manage. I don't give an explanation for my brief acknowledgement of her apology. I don't want to, not on that matter. Luckily, Yuki takes note of my brisk nature and keeps her mouth shut for the rest of our time together.

I manage to finish her make-up in ten minutes, which is an actual record for me, and I don't even bother with her hair, given the fact that her short hair suits her no matter what she's wearing.

"There," I said, throwing my mascara back onto my desk. "Now you look pretty."

Yuki smiles shyly, standing from the dressing table, and heading toward the door. I understand why she's so shy around me, I mean my outburst a few weeks ago wasn't exactly subtle, but she could at least talk like a normal human being. It makes me feel even more like a vampire, an outsider, like I don't belong in this world. That feeling is a little more than hostile and I don't appreciate it, especially from Yuki, who I actually consider a friend, despite my opinion of her little crush on Kaname.

"We should go," She said quickly, opening my door as I step into my incredibly high heels.

I nod, walking out after her in a rushed hurry, my heels clicking against the wooden floor boards as I walk. Thankfully, I've been wearing heels like these for longer than I'd like to admit and I can walk in them reasonably fast without falling or looking incredibly awkward. I make it to the glittery hall as fast as I can, although Yuki made it there a few minutes before me.

Everyone stares at me as I pass. They all stop and gaze at me, their eyes following me as I walk. Even some of the Night Class students stop to look at me, which is pretty surprising considering they all just glare at me most of the time.

Every light shines out of the windows, dulling the night's natural blackness and illuminating everything around it. They did a good job, our class, but I'm guessing that the Class Rep would have wanted it that way, considering his perfectionist tendencies are worse than mine.

Yuki stands with Zero at the entrance of the hall, the Headmaster fussing beside them as always. I approach them, head held high with the best smile I can put on despite all my worries and problems that I know will eventually come back to bite me.

"Wow." Zero puts on a smug smile, looking me up and down as he crosses his arms over his chest. I nervously brush a stray strand of hair over my ear, the weight of so many eyes feeling a little too heavy.

"Could we all please go inside?" I said, punching Zero in the shoulder for his stupid smile. "I'd like to go in an area where I could at least hide from the staring."

Not waiting for a response, I grab Zero's hand and drag him into the hall, doing my best to hide the smile creeping onto my face. I eventually find an area that's not too crowded and proceed to shower Zero in a barrage of lousy punches and hits.

"Ouch, Jesus, will you stop?" Zero exclaimed, grabbing my wrists to stop me.

"Maybe," I said, yanking my wrists out of his grasp. "_You _could have at least tried to look nice for once, you lazy bastard."

"I didn't know you were going to actually dress up for this," Zero said, still smiling despite my reaction. "You said you weren't going to. I heard you correctly."

"Yeah, well, I changed my mind, dumbass. Now stand still for a second, will you?"

I hastily fix Zero's uniform, straightening his tie and buttoning up his jacket, whilst trying to ignore that stupid smug smile he's _still _wearing. Resisting the urge to slap that idiotic little smile off his face, I stand back, admiring my work.

"There," I sighed. "Now you look semi-respectable."

"Well, you look beautiful," Zero replied, lacing his fingers into mine.

"Compliments will only get you so far, darling," I added quickly, before running off to scan the area.

I walk around the hall, watching the students dance and laugh with their friends. It reminded me of my school socials, the ones we would have with the all-boys school affiliated with our school. Those socials were much more adrenaline fuelled, with loud music, flashing lights and the occasional one-night-stand but it's relaxing, I guess, to have a ball instead of a party.

Everyone seemed so happy in that moment, laughing and dancing like nothing bad was every going to happen or ever will happen. They're all so naive, blind to the real threats of the world like they're blind to it's beauty as well. It's too bad really, that I can't share their simple reality. I am cursed with knowing the truth by force, by the unfair robbing of my humanity. But then again, would I have truly been happy with the life I'd been living before?

_Obviously not, big sis. You would have contracted some god-awful STD by now, thanks to your habit of riding too many guys. _

"Oh no," I whispered, sinking back into the dark as Zali's voice invades my thoughts once more.

_Miss me? I sure hope you did. I did earn some bruises from you. _

"What do you want?" I hissed silently, looking around quickly to see if no one was watching or listening.

_Nothing. Nothing much really. Just a little heads up though; your little friend, Yuki I think her name was, right? Yeah, well, she's not exactly going to be in the greatest condition after tonight, I guarantee that._

"What have you done with her?!" I snapped, horror filling my gut and clouding my judgment as I quickly look around for Yuki. Of course, there's no sign of her and it sends me into a tail-spin of panic.

_It's not what we've _done, _to her. It's what Shizuka _will do. _I'd get over here fast, sis, before Zero isn't the only one under Shizuka's complete control._

* * *

**Cliff-hanger! No, no it's not, we all know what happens here. **

**So my sitting in my chair and reading all day plan didn't work out. I had swim training and other stuff to do, so that kind of ruined my day but HEY, still got to finish the chapter. **

**Note that I did actually eat food before writing this time, so I'm all good. Except for the fact that it is yet again eleven at night and I am lying in bed in the dark with my iPad on the lowest brightness setting. Unfortunately, it still manages to burn my eyes, so this will be relatively short. **

**No question for today, because my brain is too tired to think of one but thank you all for your input on Zali. Yes, she is sadistic. Miss Shizuka Hio kinda drilled that into her. I'm still trying to figure out where to go with her but I shall see in the morning when I'm fully awake.**

**Okay, my phone is going off now so I should probably see to that. **

**Read, Review, ask questions if you want and Jesus Christ, why the hell are my friends texting me at this hour?! -HL**


	15. Blood Bound

Chapter 14:

Blood Bound

* * *

"To be completely honest, I'm surprised you actually came after Yuki."

Maria smiles at me, her pointed fangs showing through that smile. Yuki sits beside her, watching me with unwavering determination. What is she doing? What will giving herself to a Pureblood do? I had ran as fast as I could from the hall, hoping and plaything that Zali's warning wasn't true. But obviously, I was wrong.

Zali stands beside the sofa, a black mask covering one side of her face, most likely to cover up my relation to her. Like this, we only look similar. If she took the mask off, Yuki would know we are sisters. She smiles at me, her eyes falling heavy on me with the weight of, what felt like, a cargo ship. The superior air she has adopted is still there, making me feel even more small and out of place.

"When I had asked her to call you over," Maria remarked, although her voice sounds quite different. "I didn't think you would actually care enough to come after Yuki."

"Let her go," I said firmly, ignoring my instincts that scream at me to attack. "This isn't between you and her. It's between you and Zero, nothing more."

"Oh really," Maria chimed, twirling a finger around Yuki's hair. "I would have thought it would also have had something to do with you, as well."

_Oh, I bet that hit a nerve. _Zali's voice echoes in my head, only serving to make me angrier, but I push it aside, trying hard to keep myself calm. But of course, my better judgement still has a voice and it wants to be heard most of all.

This is the woman who ruined your sister. Who twisted her into something that's wrong and evil, something unnatural and cruel. Am I just going to let that pass? I can't, I'll never forget. But when my friends life hangs in the balance, I'm prepared to tip the scales in her favour. I will not let her take another thing from me. Not Zero. Not Yuki. Not anyone. I know I've already lost Zali but that doesn't mean I'm lose everyone else who I hold dear.

Reaching beneath my dress, I pull my dagger free, my knuckles going white as I grip the handle. Just as I'm about to jump forward, Yuki jumps up from her seat, Artemis drawn, and stands between me in the Pureblood.

"Stay back," She exclaimed, her voice wavering slightly. "I've made up my mind, Tori. You can't stop me."

"Yuki...Step. Aside. _Now," _I said through gritted teeth. "Whatever deal you think you've struck with her, won't stick. She's lying to you-"

"I don't care!" Yuki yelled. "She's the only person who can save Zero, Tori! If you kill her, he's lost his chance. You wouldn't ever want that, I know that much, so please...stay back."

"Yuki, this is ridiculous. You're doing it, yet again. You're so desperate to help that you don't even see who you're hurting by doing these things. This would crush Zero, and me, not to mention. I won't let you give yourself to her. I refuse."

One step forward from me and I can't say I'm surprised to know that it's not Yuki her strikes first. It's Zali. She pushed her way into my mind while I was talking. I could feel her there, causing dull pain that was hardly noticeable. But I noticed it. And I, at least, had enough time to brace myself.

The pain doubles me over at first, hardly giving Zali satisfaction as she increases the intensity, putting me on my knees fighting back a scream rising in my throat. Yuki looks down at me in horror as I try to hold myself together, my nails raking the floorboards viciously to distract myself from the pain.

"That's enough for now," Maria said, standing from her seat and walking over to me. "I want her weak but not quite dead. She may still be of use."

My brain screams at me to attack as Maria lightly runs a finger along a vein in my neck, cutting it lightly with her fingernail and watching blood gush from the wound. But my body is still in shut down, the memory of pain not yet forgotten. By the time she lowers her mouth to my neck and sinks her fangs into my skin, I'm still too numb to fight back.

"Stop."

The sound of Zero's voice might have been a blessing, had the woman who was feeding off me not been Shizuka. But, unfortunately, she was and that would only lead to bad things, in my mind.

"Oh," Maria said against my neck, licking my blood off her bite mark. "So you do care for her."

Finally in full control of my senses, I shove Maria away, scrambling backwards until my back hits the wall. The smell of blood and fear clings to the hair with desperate urgency, causing a bubble of anxiety to expand in my chest. Zero takes a brief look down at me, his gun pointed at Maria's head, and then looks back at Yuki, his eyes wide with anger.

In the dark on the other side of the room, I see something, or more likely, _someone _walk into the room, the real body of Shizuka Hio in their arms. It doesn't take much for me to guess that the person holding her is Ichiru, like the little lost puppy he is. I feel sorry for him in a way, that he's clung to this woman for so long for some unknown reason without receiving any love in return.

"You want to know why Yuki was so eager to give herself to me?" Maria said, walking over to Ichiru with a slight spring in her step. "Why she would have turned herself into. Level E? The deal I struck with Yuki, the one that Victoria so strongly announced was false, was a simple one; her life for yours, Zero. Her life for your safety. Quite cute to be honest."

Curling my fingers around the handle of my dagger, I try to stand up but pain strikes my legs as if they're just been broken by a sledgehammer and I fall back to thw ground with a muffled cry.

"Not so fast," Zali said cruelly. "Wouldn't want you interrupting, now would we?"

Every muscle in my body goes numb with anticipation of Zali's wrath, wrath I know I most certainly deserve but I can't have her getting in the way now. Not so many lives in the balance.

"How?" I snapped, fighting for air as exhaustion creeps up on me at a slow, brooding pace. I suspect it was Zali's doing. "How would you have saved him?"

Maria giggles, reaching out and touching her real body's hand. In an instant, Shizuka's eyes open and it seems as if she's in two bodies at once.

"Such a curious girl," Maria said, placing her hand on her real body's cheek. "Zero, in order for him to be saved, well...he only has to drink my blood."

At the sound of Shizuka's voice, Zero goes ridged beside me, his eyes widening in fear. It's something I've never seen in him and to see it in _his _eyes...it only makes me even more scared. I feel the weight of Zali's gaze fall on me, her sea blue eyes visible in the dark even through the mask. _And this is where the fun starts. _

Shizuka stands tall and beautiful and Maria lies slumped in Ichiru's arms like a lifeless doll, her pretty little face glowing with a pale kind of light in the dark. I feel as if my heart has been ripped out as she approaches, sharp, brisk pain striking me down as if the Pureblood is the one causing me pain. I know it isn't. Zali's not exactly subtle anymore.

"Enough, little one," Shizuka ordered, cutting off the pain almost instantly. "We don't want her passing out, now do we?"

"Yes, my lady," Zali answered, speaking aloud for the first time this evening.

Shizuka approaches Yuki, a small, sad smile decorating her pretty face and turns Yuki's head to the side, exposing the girl's neck.

"Such a good girl," Shizuka said, power dripping from her voice. "Giving yourself to me to politely."

The click of the safety of Zero's gun goes off, the Blood Rose pointed straight at Shizuka's head. "Get away from her," Zero hissed through his teeth, rage evident in his voice.

"Stay out of this, Zero," Yuki cried, bringing up a hand to his neck. It only takes me a second to see the connection of her bracelet and his tattoo, a safety mechanism that I'm sure the Headmaster meant to keep Yuki safe from Zero. Look how that turned out...

Zero snatches her hand, yanks it away but still keeps his eyes firmly on his Pureblood master. "Leave her be!"

"Hm...now why should I do that?" Shizuka chimed. "You're never going to pull that trigger. You learnt that last night. You can't kill me, so why bother? Keep holding Yuki like that."

Zero's whole body freezes in place at Shizuka's command, much to his own surprise. The Pureblood only laughs, stepping forward with the graceful silence all vampires possess. It's too beautiful, too elegant, for monsters such as us.

"For four years, I've waited..." She whispered, leaning forward and sinking her teeth I to Zero's neck.

The smell of Zero's blood, mixed with my own, makes me feel even worse, the nauseated feeling growing as I feel a growl escape my throat. It was animal, ferocious and purely instinctive but that was all I needed to get what felt like a ten-thousand volt electric charge zap through my body.

"Stop it," I hissed, more directed at Zali than Shizuka. "Haven't you caused enough pain already?!"

Shizuka stops abruptly, turning her gaze to me. _Oh, you're in for it now, _Zali laughed in my head, teasing me like always. Shizuka kneels down beside me, her crimson eyes glowing in the dark.

"It's his punishment for being tamed," She said. "Tamed by you and by her."

"You ruined _her," _I snapped, jerking my head toward Zali. "So I'd say we're even, bitch."

In an instant, I feel Shizuka's hand wrap around my neck and lift me off the ground, the false exhaustion I had been feeling lifting instantly with Zali's surprise. I kick and flail but it does me no good. The bullets that go into Shizuka's side do.

As Shizuka lessens her grip on my neck, I fall back to the ground, coughing and gasping for air. I stumble to my feet, dagger up and ready for attack. It's only when I look at Zero do I see the sword in his arm.

"That was unnecessary," Shizuka scolded, walking over to Ichiru. "There was no need to interfere. Believe me, I have no intentions of dying tonight."

Just as the Pureblood is about to leave the room, I throw my dagger as hard and fast as I can, only to have the blade shattered mid-flight. Shizuka laughs, amused by desperate killing attempt.

"You should know better, child," She said, before leaving the room and walking into darkness.

"No!" Zero yelled, running after her, only to be stopped at the door by his traitorous twin.

Ichiru smiles, a cruel smile, not the kind that people should be glad to see. "Aren't you going to introduce us, Zero?" Ichiru said, nodding toward Yuki.

Zali giggles on the other side of the room, stepping out from her small hiding place. "So rude, aren't you, Zero? Tori's no better, so I could understand her attraction to you."

Yuki looks between us, eyeing the pairs of siblings with distinct confusion. Then she takes a closer look at Zali and eye, seeing the similarities in our eyes and face frame. As Zali takes off her mask, it doesn't take much for her to recognise the resemblance.

"Your sister," She whispered, covering her open mouth with her hand.

"Yes," Zali sighed, throwing her mask away. "Unfortunately. But I'm afraid we aren't the only pair of siblings in the room, are we, Ichiru?"

Ichiru bows his head, pulling off his mask and revealing his face. He and Zero are almost identical, except Ichiru's face seems aged, as if he's the older one of the two, not Zero. Yuki backs away, her back hitting the wall as she does. The air around us has gone cold, filled with the hostility felt by two people who were once family to Zero and I.

"Does it make you angry, Tori?" Zali said, walking toward me as Ichiru and Zero begin to argue. I can't hear them. I'm too focused on my sister to care. "Does it make you angry to know I went to such lengths to hurt you?"

"No," I replied, clenching my jaw tight. "It makes me sad, Zali. I grieved you for...God knows how long. I blamed myself for so long, hiding away in the abundance of parties, drinks and drugs _because of you_. You are the reason for my ruin, Zali."

"That's not my problem!" Zali hissed. "You almost killed me! I'd be dead if it wasn't for our master and Shizuka."

"Don't you dare call...call _him,_ our master."

"Why not?! Our parents were lousy; they were too kind to you, not harsh enough. They shoved away any accusations came your way and forgave your wrongs without any trouble at all. They praised you when you did well and forgot when you failed. And all the while, they were so caught up in _you_, that they completely forgot about me!"

Her accusation hit me like a punch to the face, even making me take a step back. _Had_ my parents ignored Zali? I had always thought they'd given her the attention she needed. I was never around long enough to see, so I always thought that of course they'd favour her over me. I knew they were too forgiving and I took advantage of that, sneaking out at all hours of the night and taking drugs that were most definitely not good for my body but I was sure they preferred her over me...

"Zali, I-"

"Don't," Zali growled, her eyes glistening with tears. "Don't even try. You lost your chance for forgiveness. You lost it long ago. I won't let you live! I won't let you forget this!"

Zali pounces, producing a small knife in her hand as she jumps for me. I manage to dodge out of the way, blocking her next strike as best I can whilst trying hard not to hurt her.

"Zali, please," I begged pushing against her extraordinary strength. "Don't do this. It's not worth it anymore."

"Is it?!" Zali yelled. "Tell me one good thing you've ever done for me, Tori! _Tell me!" _

She pulls away, nailing a punch into my gut before slashing her knife downwards and slicing a shallow cut into my arm. I dodge her neck three attempts at contact before swivelling around her and capturing her in a headlock. She kicks and thrashes against me but to no avail. She may be strong but she's no match for me.

"Please, Zali," I whispered into her ear. "You're all I have. Please don't leave me."

Zali doesn't get a chance to respond. The smell of Shizuka's blood catches our attention before she could even think of a way to reply. The sweet, luring smell drifts in with the air, making my stomach churn and my head hurt. Zali whimpers, a tear slipping down her cheek.

"No," She whispered. "No, no, no, _no, no! _Let me go! She can't die! _Let me go!" _

I try to hold her back but Zali fights back, reaching into my mind and triggering the pains of my hunger like flicking off a switch. I cry out, letting her go and falling to my knees. Black clouds my vision and I can only watch as Zali runs off in the direction of the smell, tears streaming down her face at this point. Ichiru follows, looking even more panicked than her if that's possible and then there's only Yuki to stop Zero from going after him.

Zali's thoughts are so out of control and panicked that I hear them unintentionally, emotions gushing into my mind like an open dam. _Please, please, please don't die. I can't do this without you. I can't live knowing I let you die. _

Focusing hard, I push myself through the bond that Zali told me of, pushing myself across the bridge whilst ignoring the mind-numbing pain that comes with it. I manage to make it without losing consciousness, my energy levels well and truly depleted, and I try to calm her down as best I can.

_Zali, calm down. You're losing control. You're losing yourself. Don't let this beat you. _

I hear the sound of Zali's sobs through her mind, her grief hurting worse than an open wound. _Leave me be! _She screamed in reply. _Leave us alone! This is all your fault. You and Zero and everyone at this Academy! _

_I'm not running away anymore, _I said, growing more and more tired by the minute. _Zali, I promise you, I won't run anymore. Just please come back to me. I need you here. I need your strength. I need _you, _Zali. Please... _

_You don't know me anymore! I don't want to know you! Oh God, Shizuka...please don't leave me. Please, please, don't let her take me!_

_I'm not taking you anywhere, Zali. I just want you back. I only want you safe. _I feel my body lose all strength as I collapse onto the ground. I manage to hang onto the bond, although it's only by a thread.

There's a long gap of silence from my sister, only her soft sobs and sniffling filling the space. Just as I'm about to fall unconscious, my body weakened by the night's war, I hear her soft voice whispering to me as I fall into the dark.

_Help me, Tori. End this suffering for me..._

* * *

**Oh, what is this?! 3 chapters 3 days in a row?! Let's just it is most likely not happening again for a little while. **

**What shall happen next chapter?! We shall see *evil smile*. These last two chapters have been my worst nightmares to write considering I'm not exactly fond of that whole scene but I can't exactly avoid it considering it's a major plot point. Gah complications. **

_**LittleDragonRider:**_** To answer your question, I'm Australian. Our spelling system is pretty weird I know. For starters, we spell jail like this G.A.O.L=gaol. I have no idea why. I'd love to be Canadian at the moment though. This 40 degree heat(I speak in degrees Celsius so let's just say it's pretty damn hot), is killing me and there are no enough air conditioners in the world to save me.**

**Found out why my friends were texting me at 11 o'clock at night. One of them had just finished The Hunger Games and was fangirling so insanely that there was not enough exclamation points in the world that could have expressed her feelings and the other was rambling about 5 Seconds of Summer and some other stuff I don't understand. I have decided to use all caps lock in text messages after ten o'clock. Makes people think I'm angry so they stop talking to me.**

**So this has just been one big catch-up. I think I should stop talking soon. So, as for a question, you guys can ask question if you want. I really don't care what the questions are; 95% of the time, I will answer the question but if not, I'll give a reason why. **

**Read, Review, *airline instruction hand gestures* and wait patiently for two-three days. Sorry guys but these fingers need a bit of a break. Love you all -HL.**


	16. Fragile Trust

Chapter 15:

Fragile Trust

* * *

Bargaining for my sister was a lot harder than I originally thought it would be. Not that I knew it was _ever _going to be easy, I mean, trying to convince a thousand year old Association of vampire hunters that your little sister is really just a nice girl who happened to be in a bad state of mind when she tortured me and killed at least three hunters that came after her. Yes, I knew it was going to be hard. But I didn't think it was going to be _impossible. _

"I'm sorry, Tori," The Headmaster said, no look of sorrow or sympathy on his now stern face. "But she's too dangerous to be in school grounds. Isolation is the only good thing for her."

"Letting her rot in some cell for the rest of her life is not going to get you anywhere, Kaien!" I exclaimed, Zali's soft, quiet sobs filtering into my brain as I speak. "She's young, she'll learn. I have almost identical powers to her, so why aren't you locking me up?"

Kaien sighed, looking up at me with his still hazel eyes. "Tori, try to see this from a hunter's perspective. If she were to get out-"

"She won't try anything like that again. I know she won't. Please, Kaien. This is my little sister we're talking about," I pleaded, my body still tired and weak from the fight last night. "I won't lose my last link to my family. She's the only person I have left!"

The Headmaster shakes his head, not happy with my defiance. "And what about Zero? I know you two are close. What would he think of this?"

That one comment struck me like a baseball bat being swung at full force, a nervous and sad feeling growing in my chest at the mentioning of Zero. I haven't spoken to him since the ball. I didn't want to, not with so much on my mind and so little time to save my sister. I didn't have time for him and I knew if I talked to him about Zali, he would disagree. He'd try to make me let her go, I know he would. He holds too many grudges and I already know he has one against my baby sister. So I won't talk to him. Not when he's standing in the way of someone I love.

Zali's voice creeps into my head, timid and small but still there. _But don't you love him more than me? _

"I don't want to talk about Zero," I said firmly, taking deep breaths to try and keep myself together. "He has nothing to do with this and I intend to keep it that way."

"You don't trust him?" Kaien said, easing an eyebrow at me.

I'd thought about that. I'd thought about it until my head hurt but I couldn't quite decide on my own opinion. I'm meant to trust him, aren't I? If we're going to be together, we'll have to, there's no question about that but...there's still doubt. The doubt that I had buried deep inside and refused to acknowledge for so long. Now, with Zali's life in my hands, I find myself listening to that doubt.

"No," I said, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat. "No, I don't trust him. He uses his gut, not his brain, in these situations. I can't have him doing that, I really can't."

Kaien sighs, standing from his seat and walking over to the window. "Tori, I need you to do something. Something that may be difficult at the moment but I need you to help me, nonetheless."

Annoyed at the sudden subject change, I take my time responding, working through my irritation slowly. "What is it?" I said, rubbing my tired eyes.

"Zero...he needs...time. Time away from the stresses of this world," Kaien said, his back still facing me, "This experience, it has taken it's toll and I fear he does not have much time left. I want you to take him away, help him learn how to control his hunger and maybe...give him the break he needs."

I laugh dryly, feeling so tired all of a sudden. "You're right. That will be hard."

"This is not a laughing matter, Tori and you know it. Now answer me, can you do it?"

I sigh, sitting down on the chair in front of his desk. Helping Zero isn't what I want to do at the moment. I want to help Zali get her life back on track. I want to help her be a child again, to help her be the girl I always knew and loved. But it seems as if fate isn't on my side and I hate it for that. It seems like Shizuka made a mess, ruining people and things as she went, and then left people like me to clean it up. It seems Nick Carraway's observation of people with money extended even further than just that. He was reaching into my reality. He knew what was happening to me before I realised he was just words on a page.

"If I do this for you," I said weakly. "Will you vouch for Zali? Will you try to fulfil my wish?"

It was a long shot, the longest I've ever gone for to be honest, but it was worth trying and I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity. Kaien takes a long time to decide on his answer, making me more and more and anxious by the second. At first, I begin to think he'll say no and in a way, I'm fine with that. At least I tried to save Zali, she should be happy about that. But in the end, it's not my decision and to be honest, it could feel good to be free of the pain, agony and sorrow she caused me.

"Alright, Tori. I'll do that much for you."

I can't seem to believe what I'm hearing. A small shard of hope crystallises in my blood as I let out a sigh of relief, one good thing coming out of today. At least, now, Zali has a chance. That much is evident.

I leave the Headmaster's office with both a sinking feeling in my chest and a sort of happiness I had not expected to come from Zali's now fifty-fifty chance at living. The sinking feeling, I can only guess, is due to the fact that I know have to face Zero now, violet eyes, silver hair and all. He's like the dagger in my side; if I keep it in, it'll only cause more damage. If I pull the blade out, it'll kill me too. I know in the end, he'll be the death of me no matter what I do but I can't seem to bring myself to hide away from him. I feel as if that'll hurt even more.

I make my way back to my room at a slow pace, thinking things over as I walk. Zali seems to have calmed down now, as the wall between her and me is back up and we speak in neutral tones to each other, only discussing topics of our situation and not our physical and mental conditions. Her mood hasn't improved whatsoever and she continues to fight me no matter what I say. I give up eventually as I enter my room, crawling under the covers of my unmade bed and pulling them over my head. I hoped to sleep the rest of the day away and not have to deal with Zero or Zali or anyone at all. But my hopes and dreams are crushed quite easily when I hear a knock at my door._  
_

Groaning into my pillow, I throw the covers and slouch out of bed, walking over to the door whilst trying to make my hair look decent. I'm not surprised to find Zero behind the door, the sad look in his eyes piercing my soul like a speeding bullet.

I open my mouth the say something but I can't manage to say anything, my mind too blank and my voice too weak to convey a message. Zero's face really says it all, the slight anger behind that debilitating sadness.

"Kaien told you," I said quietly, slumping against the door frame. "Didn't he?"

Zero doesn't answer, not even with a shake or nod of the head. He just stares into my eyes, a kind of hurt appearing there as if I'd betrayed him somehow.

"If you're here to criticise me, you might as well leave now," I snapped, pushing myself off the wall and going to slam the door.

Unfortunately, Zero's too quick for me, pushing the door back to hard to slips out of my hand and slams into the wall beside it. I scoff at his anger, my patience worn quite thing already. He walks into my room, or should I say advances, a murderous look on his face as if he's prepared to kill me.

"You want to hit me?!" I exclaimed, spreading my arms out wide and giving him a wide target. "Go ahead. Don't think I won't fight back when you do and fight back hard. I don't need your bullshit Zero, nor do I need a lecture."

"Why would you try to save her?" Zero said, speaking for the first time with a deadly calmness that chills me to the bone. "After what she did to you? After she allied herself with Shizuka?"

"She's my sister, Zero. I can't just let that go." I push Zero out of the way before he can back me into a corner, walking over to the door and slamming shut so our argument isn't on full display.

"She tried to kill you, Tori," Zero exclaimed. "Multiple times, might I add."

"People change," I snapped, my stubborn attitude showing through. "I'm willing to help her until she's back to normal."

"There won't be any normal with her, Tori. You said it yourself, your sister's gone."

"Yeah, well I'm not going to let her rot in some god-forsaken cell for the rest of her life, wondering when her last moment will be."

"She's deserves that for what she did!"

I roll my eyes, shaking my head as a cold laugh passes my lips. "You'd really wish that upon an eleven-year-old girl? She's scared and alone, Zero. I won't let her suffer lime I did."

"She doesn't deserve you," Zero snapped, stepping closer to me with every sentence. "She doesn't deserve your help or your love."

"Oh, and you do?" I exclaimed, growing more and more angry as the seconds tick by. "You'd do the same thing, Zero, if it were Ichiru who was captured and not Zali. You'd want him to live too."

"Don't bring him into this-"

"Why not?! He's your twin, you love him just as much as I love Zali. You can't tell me you wouldn't do the same goddamn thing if Ichiru was facing a lifetime locked away. You judge me when I know for a fact, that if you were put in my position, you would be the one begging for your brother's life! The only difference here is that I wouldn't judge you for doing so. So don't you dare fucking judge me for trying to protect my baby sister from a world that's too cruel for a child to live in!"

For a long time, there's only silence between us after I finish my outburst. The adrenaline that had been pumping through my veins at that moment seemed to have faded somewhat, leaving me tired, breathless and angry. I sit myself down on my bed, feeling Zero's drilling into my skull as I fail at calming myself down.

"I feel her pain, Zero," I whispered, not even sure if he can hear me. I don't care to be honest. I don't care what he thinks or hears anymore. "We're bonded so tightly that I can hear her crying herself to sleep. Do you know how horrible that feels, to know that my little sister is crying herself to sleep at night in a cold, lifeless prison cell while I lie in a bed, completely powerless to help her?"

I'm shaking by the time I finish, sadness and grief gripping my muscles and tearing them to shreds. Zero doesn't respond. He hardly even makes a sound.

"There are many..._things, _Zero, that in this world, I will not tolerate," I said, my voice shaking as I speak. Lifting my eyes to meet his, I take one deep breath before speaking again. "Abandoning someone I love is quite high on that list. So please..._please_...try to understand what I'm doing. This is my sister's life I have in my hands and if I don't try to help her, I'll have her blood on my hands as well."

Despite my anger at Zero and my frustration at his stubborn, single-minded nature, I don't pull away when he lifts me to my feet. I wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his chest. He holds me as I try my best to calm down, every breath taking more effort than it does to run a mile. My better judgment seems to be screaming at me, telling me to push him away and forget about what I feel for him. But I can't just simply forget. Like I said; he is the dagger in my side, the thing that keeps me living and kills me as well.

"You don't trust me, do you?" He whispered into my hair, twirling the thick strands of light brown hair around his fingers. "You can't bring yourself to do it."

I shake my head, pulling my head away from his chest and looking up into his eyes. I don't say anything, only stare at Zero's beautiful face, wondering why I can't trust and why I feel the need to distance myself from him like I do everyone else.

Breaking the silence, Zero brings his lips down to mine, kissing me softly but I can feel the intensity there as well, every nerve in my body tingling in that moment. The warm feeling I usually get whenever we kiss has failed to appear this time around, leaving me somewhat empty and alone with the knowledge that Zero is slipping through my fingers without me even noticing.

After a long while, I pull away, the sick feeling growing in my stomach becoming too much to bare. Leaning my forehead against his, I appreciate this moment for what it is and let myself sink into a calm, neutral mood.

"You should go get ready," I said, biting my lip anxiously. "We'll have to leave soon. Adelaide texted me a little while ago. She said we have about an hour before we have to go."

Zero nods, lightly kissing my lips before slipping away and leaving the room quickly and swiftly. I linger at the closed door, leaning my head against the polished wood and collapsing down to the floor, my body no long capable of standing tall.

It's too true; I don't trust him. I don't trust him at all. But I love him too much to let him go, too much to want him gone from my life. I miss him when he's gone, his very presence making me stronger, even if his intentions are to argue, kick and scream. Even now, I miss his caring nature, his small smile, his snide sarcasm and fierce determination. I miss his messy silver hair, piercing violet eyes, slender, pianist hands and soft but fierce lips. I miss him so much it hurts.

But there's still that doubt clouding my thoughts of him, that doubt that will be my end. I know there's a side of him that I don't know, a side of him that's too dangerous to mention. He's a killer and predator, born to hunt the things he most despises. He's good at it too, as far as I know, and that scares me, knowing that he kills so easily. But he will turn eventually, fall into the frightening insanity that will make him a Level E.

All these conflicting feelings make me so nervous, nervous to be around Zero, to be near him at all. But I crave his touch, his embrace and his kisses. I know a part of me craves more as well but with that doubt, I can't pursue it.

Staring up at the blank ceiling, I slam my fist against the wall as frustrated tears fill my eyes. I don't know how to act anymore. I don't know what to do. But now I'm stuck with Zero for two weeks or more and I'm going to have deal with this issue of trust or I'll only be more miserably than I am now.

We leave later that day, taken away by Adelaide to one of apartments in the town. She lives near her brothers, she said, so the apartment isn't really a permanent place for her. I hardly even listen to what she says, with my hood pulled up, earphones in and book open in my lap, I try to block out all notions of human interaction.

_'I hope she'll be a fool - that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.' _Daisy Buchanan had a point there, I had to give her that much. Even if this isn't the nineteen-twenties and woman are treated fairly, I believe it's better to be a fool in love than as I am. Fools are unaware of the problems surrounding them. They are carefree and zealous. They have no troubles or worries.

And I am not a fool.

* * *

**Oh my God, what the hell happened to the last twelve months? **

**So, I kind of wrote whilst I was having this massive freak out about the fact that tomorrow is the start of 2014 and all I've done with my life this year is Join. More. Fandoms. **

**Luckily, I seemed to have been in some weird trance where I could still write where I still fangirl about the news regarding the City of Heavenly Fire cover and also freak out about my slightly meaningless life. But hey, Tori's life is meaningful, so here ya go. **

**So, any New Years Resolutions? I usually don't do these because I know I'm gonna give up on them in the first two days of the new year but I profess to play at least one game of Cards Against Humanity with my friends at lunch time when we get back to school. At least I know I'll keep that promise. **

**Also, thank you for letting me know that I'm not the only Aussie around. _Saphizcool: _Oh the stereotypes. It burns my eyes to see. How ya going, mate?! XD. **

**So I should be posting this in 2014 because I want that to be a special moment for myself. Unfortunately for you Americans, Canadians and other worldly people, as far as I know, Australia has traveled in time. Starting to feel a little like Doctor Who. **

**I swear, I must be the only person in the world who doesn't watch that show...-HL**


	17. Clear Headedness

Chapter 16:

Clear Headedness

* * *

A week flew by without much trouble at all. I had expected being in Zero's company for more than a day would have been a little more than hell but in the end, it wasn't so bad. We kept out of each others way, keeping a distance that I enjoyed for what it was worth. The peace and quiet was nice and I found myself, more than once, lying on the couch with a book in my hands with my music blasting through the speakers at high volume. Zero didn't mind. Like I said, he kept his distance and only appeared when he was needed or when it was necessary. It was convenient for me but there was always that one part of me that missed him, missed all of him for who he was, even if I had doubts about him.

Sweat trickled down my back as our swords clashed, the sound of steel hitting steel echoing through the room. Zero's skill with a gun may not transfer over to a sword so well but he's still just as good as me, no doubt about that. My muscles strain under the weight of Zero's extra strength and I know I'll have to switch strategies to get through this fight.

"Focus, Tori," Adelaide called from the edge of the mat. "Pull out. You won't be able to beat Zero in a battle of strength."

Grunting with effort, I shift my weight and hook a leg under Zero's knee, causing him to lose balance and stumble out of the clash. I was hoping he'd fall but that obviously didn't work. I take a few seconds to catch my breath as Zero regains his balance and look over at Adelaide.

"I'm not going to be able to beat him, _period_," I exclaimed. "He's had years of training. I'm only new, for Christ's sake."

"You've got speed on him, Tori," Adelaide replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "Use that to your advantage."

I roll my eyes and drop my sword onto the ground before pulling off my sweat soaked shirt. I throw the ruined shirt across the room, my sports bra beneath also soaked but it wasn't like I was going to take _that_ off as well. Zero's eyes widen at the sight of my exposed skin, giving me an opening that I needed.

Charging forward, I dig my knee into Zero's gut and, using his ruined balance, I shove him down onto the ground. I land on top of him, dagger at his throat, my knees digging into his thighs painfully. I have him pinned. _Game over. _

"Or, you could just flash him," Adelaide remarked. "You know, that'll always work on guys. Why haven't I thought to do that before?"

I hardly even hear what she says after that. It's like the tension between Zero and I muted the outside world, making it seem like only he and I exist. Shivers rise up my spine and spread out along my skin, making my once burning flesh, completely ice-cold. Zero swallows hard, staring up at me with nervous eyes.

"Nice work," He said breathlessly. "Try to keep your clothes on next time."

I can't help but smile, lifting the dagger from his neck and standing up. "Why?" I chuckled. "I'd have thought you liked it."

"Alright, alright," Yagari snapped, rolling his eyes at the both of us. "That's enough for today. I'd like to leave this place without the urge to gouge my eyes out."

Adelaide scoffs at his comment, punching him in the shoulder with an annoyed look on her face. Yagari shrugs it off, despite the fact that I did see him wince a little when the punch hit home. Adelaide smirks with victory before snatching his wrist and pulling him out of the room, leaving Zero and I alone.

"Is it too late to make a cradle-snatcher joke?" I said as I stuff my ruined shirt into my bag and pull out a new one. "Dear God, please tell me it isn't too late to make a cradle-snatcher joke."

"What do you mean?" Zero said, sitting down on floor beside my bag.

"Those two. Did you honestly think there's nothing going on?"

Zero raises an eyebrow at me, that small smile of his making an appearance for the first time in a week. "He's older than her. By a quite a lot of years."

"Eleven, I think," I said as I sit down, twisting my ponytail into a bun. "Hence the need for a cradle snatcher joke."

Zero shakes his head, raking a hand through his thick hair. "We should get home. Those two won't be coming back any time soon, we know that much."

"Please don't put that image in my head. I'm extremely hungry and I'm not in the mood to lose my appetite."

With another smile and shake of the head, Zero stands from the ground, my bag in one hand and the other out-stretched in front of me. I take his hand, letting him haul me to my feet, before he turns and heads out the door.

That's probably the most we've talked this whole trip. It hurts sometimes, this distance that we've set for each other, and I can't help but feel stupid and guilty for making him feel like he has to stay away from me to make me happy. Or at least what he perceives makes me happy. In reality, I need him around. My mind has melded with his and I can't seem to fiction without his presence. But I still can't bring myself to trust him, no matter what I do. That doubt that I've forced down for so long has now got it's claws in me so deep that I can't pry them off. And it's killing me from within.

We make it home in silence, my music blasting loud in my ears as always and a book open in my hands even as we enter Adelaide's apartment. It's a surprisingly big place, with two bedrooms, three bathrooms and a spacious living room and kitchen but it feels empty to me, like it hasn't been lived in at all despite the pictures on the wall and food in the cupboards. Zero and I agreed to sleep in separate bedrooms but lately, I've been regretting that decision. My nightmares have become more and more frequent and varying in all forms. But one particular dream has decided to stick with me and I can't seem to pull it from my mind. I often find myself reaching out in the dark for him, only to find out that he, of course, is not there and I am alone once more. It's maddening and I've even considered sneaking into Zero's room after a few bad experiences, and slipping silently into bed with him just for the comfort that his presence brings. But I always back away from the idea, falling into a light, unsatisfying sleep.

Zero dumps my bag on the shining granite kitchen counter, before disappearing into his room without a word passing his lips. Alone with the pleasant but lonely silence, I sigh, snatching my bag from the counter and storming off to my own room. I slam the polished oak door behind me, throwing my bag at the wall and resisting the urge to scream.

I don't know how to deal with this life anymore. From Zali's trial, which is yet to receive a verdict, to my distrust of Zero that won't disappear, I cannot even figure out how I am meant to handle so much of this pressure and guilt at once. It feels as if I have the weight of the world pressing down on my shoulders but in reality, I don't. It just feels that way because of the pressure and anxiety that I force onto myself, along with having to deal with the problems and issues of others. It's a similar feeling to that of drowning, but I am drowning in worries, problems and complications, not water. Water would be more pleasant, to be honest.

Frustrated and alone with my own thoughts, I take a long, _long_ shower, enjoying the warm water for all it's worth. My muscles loosen under the heat of the water, giving me the chance to relax. I take it, putting my head under the steady stream of water to soak my hair and soothe my oncoming headache. It takes me a few minutes to figure out that my headache wasn't caused by my anxiety. Instead, it's something much more simple but infinitely more worrying.

"Zali..." I whispered, leaning my back against the cold tiles. "Stop. It won't do you any good."

_Will it? _Zali snapped, her tone sounding angry and hurt even in my mind. _Because I'm pretty sure that this headache belongs to the both of us, you lazy ass bitch._

Ignoring Zali's surprisingly good name-calling abilities, I turn off the shower and sink down to the floor, hugging my knees tight as I shiver in the cold but steamy air.

"I'm trying, Zali," I said, leaning my head back against wall. "I can't do anything if you're constantly fighting me."

_You aren't doing anything! _Zali screamed, making my headache even worse as her anger grows. _Sure, you called in some favours, so what? It won't do me any good. You never try for anything. You help everyone but me! Whatever, I don't feel like talking anyway. Just keep your thoughts to yourself. I've heard enough of your whinging for one day._

Before I can respond, the brick wall that blocks our link goes up and I'm cut off from her once again. My headache disappeared with her and I feel a little better, knowing I avoided a big fight but tears still manage to prick the corners of my eyes as I pull myself to my feet. Zali's words may have been half truths but they hurt, nonetheless. I'm sure she does it break me, to make me feel as if I've failed her. But I know I haven't. I've tried at the very least. So why am I crying?

I dress quickly once I've dried myself off, pulling on pyjama bottoms and a _Doors _t-shirt before leaving my room to find some food. I'm strangely surprised to see Zero out of his room, lying on the couch with my copy of '_Interview with a Vampire_' in his hands. I can't say I'm not surprised because I am. To the point that I almost drop the glass of water I'd just poured myself when I saw it.

"You're actually reading that?!" I exclaimed, making him jump.

Zero obviously didn't hear me come in and I almost laugh as he tries to hide the book underneath the coffee table as I walk up to him.

"No hiding it now," I laughed, poking him in the ribs as he lies back down on the couch. "I saw you with it, so now you have to give in."

Zero forces a relaxed look, closing his eyes and sliding his hands underneath his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

I scoff at his poor attempt at hiding his little endeavour, walking around the couch and reaching under the coffee table until I feel the creased paperback cover. I pull it out from underneath the table and hold it up in front of Zero, who opens one eye to look at me.

"I had nothing to do with that," Zero said, before closing his eye and resuming his fake relaxed position.

I roll my eyes, dropping the book onto the table and deciding to do something that probably isn't a good idea but I try it anyway. I straddle Zero's hips before he can realise I'm on top of him, pressing both hands to his chest to hold him down. Zero's eyes shoot open, a gasp escaping his mouth before he can stop it. I smile, enjoying his distress at being caught in a trap. He groans, pulling his hands out from under her head and letting them fall limply at his sides.

"You wanna tell me the same thing as before or are you actually going to tell me what I want to hear?" I said, almost, _almost, _jumping at the feeling of Zero's hands on my waist.

"I...I don't know, okay?" Zero snapped. "You always say it's good and I thought...maybe..."

A small blush rises in his cheeks and I can't help but smile, shaking my head as a small laugh escapes my mouth. Zero looks up at me in surprise, his violet eyes widening with curiosity.

"I think I'm going to die a happy woman knowing I got you to at least _try_ and read a vampire novel."

Zero blushes even more, a childish pout decorating his face. His grip on my waist tightens and before I can fight against him, Zero flips us over, so that we land on the carpeted floor and narrowly miss the glass coffee table edge. Dazed and disorientated, I had no chance as Zero pins my hands beside my head and smiles down at me.

"Pay attention to your surroundings, _Victoria_," Zero said, mockingly using my name and pissing me off just a little bit.

"Oh, shut up," I muttered. "You got lucky."

Zero smiles, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. Almost every worry and fear melts away as he kisses me, shivers shooting down my spine as I moan into his mouth. Zero's grip on my wrists loosens as I kiss him back, letting me run my hands along his arms and down his chest. My nerves sing as I slip my hands underneath his shirt, feeling the tensed, strong muscles along his back. Zero groans, letting his kisses trail down from my lips to my neck. I feel his fangs graze my skin as he traces a vein in my neck with his tongue, sending a bolt of excitement through my entire body.

It's been so long since I've felt this alive, so long since I've had this feeling of excitement that I've completely forgotten how good it feels. Tugging at the hem of Zero's shirt, he reluctantly stops kissing and licking my neck and pulls off his shirt, throwing the very much unneeded clothing somewhere in the room. I run my hands down his torso, a sigh of relief and guarded pleasure passing my lips. Zero leans down and tugs at my sterling silver earring with his teeth, earning a moan from me.

"Your turn," He whispered, grabbing the hem of my shirt and lifting it slowly and steadily, lightly trailing his knuckles along my skin and kissing a pressure point behind my ear.

Pulling myself together as best I can, I manage a response. "Feeling ambitious, are we?"

"Why do you ask?" Zero said, waiting for me to lift my arms to let him take off my shirt. "You're not stopping me."

"Fine," I said. "Bedroom. Yours or mine?"

What transpired next was, as you could imagine, heart-pounding, overly-exciting and ranged completely in my comfort zone.

* * *

It was the smell of food that woke me later that night, that and the distinct sound of someone messing around in the kitchen that coincided with that smell but at eleven o'clock at night, I think the smell of pancakes was a lot better than the sounds.

I dress quickly, pulling on the clothes I was wearing a few hours ago due to the fact we had agreed to go to Zero's room instead of mine. I have absolutely no idea how we actually agreed on that, considering that all I remember is kissing and touching and quite a lot of other things that I know are going to distract me during class. I twirl my hair up into a bun, too lazy to brush it out, and walk out into the kitchen.

"Please tell me what I'm smelling is pancakes because if it isn't, I may just cry."

Zero smiles that same stupid smile that makes butterflies appear in my stomach before he answers, only making me add another piece of evidence to the list of things that prove I love him.

"Yes, they are," Zero replied. "No tears please."

A sort of giddy feeling settles over my heart, giving me the impression that I'm somewhat floating, a feeling I had only ever associated when high on drugs. Drugs were always fun and the high they always gave was beyond heaven but the come downs were so violent, so depressing that I would find myself craving more and more of whatever drug I had so I could be on that beautiful cloud of happiness. I realise now that the drugs I had been taking, they can't even compare to this feeling.

I walk up behind Zero and wrap my arms around his torso, leaning my forehead against his back and humming silently.

"You alright?" He asked. "You're acting pretty strange, Tori."

I shrug, closing my eyes to try and get rid of the last remnants of sleep from them. "It's nothing. I'm just comparing things."

"Comparing..._what_ things?" Zero asked, a suspicious tone in his voice.

I laugh at the notion, knowing exactly what he's thinking, and pull away, leaning against the island countertop behind me. "Not _that_, you idiot. Just...I don't know how to explain this. Did you know I did drugs back home?"

I was surprised Zero didn't drop my plate as he handed it to me. "What?!" He exclaimed. "You can't be serious."

I put my plate down beside me and sit up on the countertop, making Zero and I at exact eye level. "I was...I was disobedient, I guess. My mother, she was...she was the kind of mother who smothers you to the point of complete ridiculousness. I...I never experienced anything. I never knew what I wanted to be because she was so restricting. She never grounded me, she never punished me for the things I did but she still...tried to hide me from the world like I was something breakable. Like porcelain. And I absolutely hated it...so..."

"You did drugs?"

"Yeah. When I was about fourteen, I...well, that was basically when I started going downhill. I wanted to break free of her and so, I...kind of...well, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He was fifteen and _quite_ experienced and I...I don't know. It was like a trigger that set me off."

Zero raises an eyebrow at me, crossing his arms over his chest. "A trigger that set you off to do...what?"

"Well, start drinking for starters," I said, surprised at how natural it feels to tell my closely guarded secrets like this. "I partied, I drank, I did _quite_ a lot of drugs and I slept around. My parents knew and they just...never said anything."

"Wow," Zero said. "So that joke about you doing cocaine in class..."

"Actually true. I only ever did that once though. Cocaine was a bit of a downer. Never liked it much."

Zero shakes his head and steps toward me, resting his hands on my hips as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"You're opening up for once in your life," Zero said. "What did I do to deserve that?"

"Well, let's see," I sighed. "You made me pancakes, you entertain me during class and oh yeah, the sex. I forgot."

Zero rolls his eyes and kisses me, softly and sweetly. As we kiss, I am slowly reminded of a phrase in '_The Great Gatsby_' that sticks out in this very moment. '_He looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man.' _Jordan Baker was right, not just about Jay Gatsby but about Zero as well. When he looks at me, I can't help but feel uncontrollably happy and lucky at the fact that I have him and him alone.

For he is the dagger in my side. He is the thing that will kill me and save me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

**Okay, I caved. The depressive writing was getting to me so I had to write some Zori goodness. God I love that ship name. **

**Yes I made Yagari and Adelaide a couple. Trust me. I have a long term plan. Just trust me on that one. Thoughts on that as well please.**

**So, how was everyone's New Years? Mine was alright. It consisted mainly of a lot of fangirling because there was so much news coming from authors but I was made to leave the house for once in my life. In the end, I just waited for the fireworks and did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Can someone also explain to me the significance of the ball dropping in New York? It always seemed pretty anti-climatic to me. **

**I probably won't post a chapter in the next few days because I'm going down to my godparents and they probably won't let me use their wifi at all. But, they do have a pool and they're hiring a water slide. I'll forgive them on that front.**

**Read, Review, ask questions if you want and wait patiently for the next chapter. Love you all -HL**


	18. Cracks in the Facade

Chapter 17:

Cracks in the Facade

* * *

Coming back to the Academy seemed like the most annoying thing that could have happened as I made my way back to my dorm room, tired and annoyed from travel. I had wanted to stay away for a little longer with Zero, hiding with him in that apartment where nothing ever seemed wrong. I wanted more time, more time to tell Zero everything and anything about myself. It felt good for once, talking about my past so naturally, and I was relieved at that. I knew I was no longer trapped in that bubble of hostility and grief that encased me for so long. I'm free, to put it simply.

But the Headmaster wanted us back, back to guard the school and to learn as well, not that either of us really need school considering we're both so close to death but I can understand his insistence. He's trying to give us the illusion of a normal life, a life that had been taken from us. It's too bad that it's exactly that; an illusion.

I yawn as I dump my travel bag beside my bed, too tired to do anything at all except sleep. Just as I'm about to climb under covers of my _still_ unmade bed, I feel the brick wall between Zali and I crumble and Zali's urgent and excited voice fills my head.

_Get up, get up, _get up, _you useless slob! Something's happening!_

I roll my eyes at my sister's remark, taking them more as a comical relief now rather than serious business. I yawn and lay down onto my bed, burying my face into my pillow.

_Now's not the time, Zali, _I groaned back in my mind. _I need sleep. I'm much smarter when I actually have a fully functioning brain, thank you. _

_This isn't about me, Tori! _Zali exclaimed, sounding rather irritated with me already. _It's the people at the Association. There's something happening at the Academy. I heard one of the guards talk about an execution._

That catches my attention. Bolting up from my bed, I stand, shaking the thought of rest from my head as I kneel down beside my bag and pull out my dagger.

"Who?" I said, already walking out the door and toward the dorm's exit. "Zali, who are they meant to be executing?"

_You're not gonna like my answer. _

"Zali, tell me now or I'll let you rot in that cell."

_Harsh but alright. The Council of Ancients is meant to be executing Zero. Apparently, for the supposed murder of Shizuka Hio. It's kind of fair to be honest, he did kill her didn't-_

"Shut up, Zali!" I snapped, before forcing the wall between us back up and taking a bit too much energy with it.

As adrenaline pumps through my veins, I sprint from the dorm, following the ever so slight smell of Zero's blood. It appeared just as Zali finished talking, supporting her suggestion that Zero's as to be executed. A spear of fear seems to have lodged itself in my stomach, that fear getting worse and worse as I near the smell of his blood. A small part of my brain keeps reminding me that I'm going to lose him, just when I finally gave myself fully to him, I'm going to lose him. But, like always, I forget. Zero can handle himself.

I end up at the edge of the school before I spot them, both Yuki and Zero together, surrounded by a surprisingly small group of vampires. All of them, I can only guess, are the Councils little pets, sent to finish the Council's dirty work because they're useful for nothing else. They must have thought it would be an easy job, taking out Zero, judging how little of them there are.

Vaulting over the incredibly high fence with ease, I land just outside the group of vampires surrounding Zero and Yuki, each and every one of their eyes turning to me. I smile, almost laughing at how easy it is to slip into each and every one of their minds without them knowing. They stare at me, confused at my amusement before I speak.

"Didn't anyone every tell you?" I said. "It's rude to ambush people."

Each and every one of them scream as I flip the pain switch, using up the last of my energy to immobilise them as best as I can, giving Zero and Yuki a chance to get away. But that isn't the biggest of my worries. Passing out _is_.

"Victoria. That'll be enough for now."

_Enough?! Jesus, I would have ripped to pieces by now if it were me. _The blurring of Kaname and Zali's voice makes my head hurt as a feeling of weightlessness engulfs me, a feeling the quickly vanishes as someone catches me before I hit the ground. Unfortunately, that someone is not Zero. Rather the one Pureblood I hoped I would never have to be within at least ten feet of again.

"Thanks for catching me," I muttered, as I struggle to stand, using Kaname's arm for support. "Now, could you please tell them off for me? Much appreciated."

Kaname manages a weak smile, not exactly lifting my spirits but it does make me feel a little less tired knowing that I have to get away from him very soon. Although my vision is quite blurry, I can see that all the vampires, despite the fact that they should all have slight migraines in the aftermath of my attack, are kneeling before Kaname, a gesture of politeness towards the higher being. My ears ring, not letting me hear a word of the argument that ensues. It's frustrating, considering that Zero's life hangs in the balance because of this accusation and I want to hear what happens but when you're on the verge of throwing up from motion sickness because the world is spinning before your eyes, I choose to rest just for a second for the benefit of my own health.

The sickly sweet smell of blood filters into the air and I bite down on my lip, forcing down a growl that I know will only get me bad places. As my vision clears and the world stops spinning, I begin to make out the people and shapes in my environment, coughing as a dull pang of hunger burns my throat. I don't even try to move as I lean back against the cold metal fence, too exhausted to even contemplate walking over to Zero. Luckily, he comes over to me.

"You didn't have to do that," He said as he leaned against the fence beside me. "I could-"

"Yeah, you were clearly handling that," I snapped, growing more agitated as my headache grows. "What did they want, Zero?"

Zero sighs, staring off into the distance. "Isn't it obvious?" He said. "They wanted me dead, nothing more and nothing less."

"Cheery," I mumbled, groaning as my legs begin to lose feeling. "Did they think that you killed Shizu-"

My question is cut off abruptly as the wall between Zali and I is smashed open, letting Zali's screams of pain and agony flood into my mind with painful accuracy. It's too much to take at one point and I wince, screwing my eyes shut to try and focus on what's happening.

_Zali, talk to me, _I exclaimed, barely even heard in the sea of her ever growing screams. _Zali, what's wrong? I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on. _

_No! Make it stop, make it stop! _She screamed, her pained sobs feeling like a dagger in my heart. _Tori, please help! It hurts, it hurts, it hurts..._

Her voice trails off and I feel a numbing between us, the kind I've only ever felt once when Zali was sedated and fell into unconsciousness. That same drugged feeling seeps into me and I struggle to fight back against my lack of energy, coupled with the feeling of Zali's unconsciousness. In the end, I lose the fight, slipping into the dark recesses of sleep.

It takes me only ten minutes to come around, the bright light engulfing the Headmaster's office blinding me as I awaken. I can still feel the numbed link between Zali and I, telling me she's still sedated, and pretty heavily at that. I fight back the tears rising at the thought of what happened to hurt, of what the hunters did to make her so scared and in so much pain.

I sit up slowly, ignoring the stupid pounding that plagues my brain as I look around the room. The first person I see, is Zali. She's been laid down on the couch opposite me, her dark brown hair flowing down her shoulders and over the edge of the couch, her face paler than it should be and her body limp. I'm literally tripping over myself as I scramble over to her, completely ignoring Zero, Yagari and Kaien as they stare at me.

"Zali," I whispered, kneeling beside her limp form and brushing the hair from her face.

She looks younger like this, eyes closed and all tension relieved of her face but it hurts, knowing that she's in this state for some painful reason. Zali may be a killer but she's still my baby sister and I _will_ protect her, no matter what.

"What happened?" I asked, placing my hand on her cheek. Her skin is burning with feverish heat, only making my parental side even more anxious. "She was screaming at me through the bond. I felt the sedative."

"Bond?" Yagari repeated, obviously kept out of the loop. "What bond?"

I sigh and sit up on the couch, lifting Zali's head before letting it gently rest on my lap. "Long story. Now, I'll ask again but this time, I'd like an answer please. _What happened to my sister?_"

"She was poisoned," Kaien answered. "Since she wasn't eligible for charging, I was able to convince the Association President that I could keep an eye on her from now on. Obviously, someone wasn't happy with that result."

"Wasn't eligible?" I repeated. "What do you mean 'wasn't eligible'?"

"She's too young. If she were over the age of sixteen, she could be charged but because she isn't, it gave me leverage to get her out of there. She's _extremely_ lucky."

Extremely lucky indeed, I thought. Looking up from my sister, I turn my attention to Kaien and the other problem at hand.

"So who do you think poisoned her?"

"Obviously someone who wasn't happy with her release," Yagari said, giving me the one smartass answer I _didn't_ want.

"Thank you for the observation," I said sarcastically. "Jeez, do I just _make_ people act like this or is it just hereditary?"

Yagari rolls his eyes but gives me a more definitive answer. "We don't know for sure. Whatever toxin it was, it wasn't enough to kill her. She'll wake up in a few hours, so you'd better take her to your room or wherever."

Despite the fact that my head still aches and my nerves are still singing from the power I used, I have almost complete control over myself and my powers. It's the most I've _ever_ felt in control in the last year and in a way, that's both good and bad. Good because I finally get a break from those never ending pains of hunger and savage animalistic rage but I know it will end. And when it does end, I can only guess that it will end _badly_.

I take Zali back to my room not long after that, her small body feeling light in my arms as she sleeps. Once I lay her down on my bed, I decide to let her sleep, since I'm not exactly prepared to stay up for hours on with hardly any hours of sleep. I end up wandering over to Zero's room, since the boys dorm is near deserted as everyone's packing for the break. I let myself in, since Zero's already told me that I'm welcome over to his room any time I feel alone. It's not that I'm feeling alone right now; more that I'm tired and I always sleep better with him by my side.

The room is dark, the only light in the room coming from a crack in the curtains that are drawn across the window. Zero lies on his bed, eyes forced shut as if he's trying to force himself to sleep. His eyes open as I walk in, the pure violet of his eyes glowing in the dark.

"Hey," I said, walking over to him and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Hey," He replied, looking strangely surprised to see me. "I thought you'd be with your sister right now."

"She's still unconscious. I'm too tired to wait up for her and...well..." I pause to think about my reason but it remains the same as before and I'm far too drained to lie or dodge a question to look tough. "I guess I just sleep better when you're near. The nightmares stay away."

Zero smiles sadly, brushing stray hair behind my ear before drawing me into his arms. We don't speak, which I don't mind, and I slowly manage to drift off whilst listening to the steady beating of Zero's heart. The nightmares do as they're told and stay far away, letting me slip into a place where there are no dreams, only the quiet silence that I tend to enjoy.

I wake after a few hours as Zero stirs beside me, his silver hair and glowing eyes being my only beacon in the dark. It's not like I'm not used to waking up besides men, I've done it far too many times to be surprised anymore, but there's a certain beauty to Zero as he wakes that catches my attention and I find myself staring at him, despite my racing mind and troubled thoughts.

Zero looks down at me and smiles weakly, before yawning as if he hadn't just slept for four hours with minimal disturbances.

"Wow," Zero mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "I never thought I'd ever wake to you _staring_ at me but I guess many things can change."

Too tired to come up with some sarcastic response, I punch him lightly in the arm before rolling sideways and landing in a crouch on the ground. Lifting my own body weight to sit up seemed like far too much of an inconvenience and I thought a tactical roll would suit me better. I was wrong, judging by the fact that I actually had to _stand_ afterwards.

"I thought that'd be easier," I grumbled as I tried hard to make my ruffled hair look decent. "I have such bad judgement."

"Yeah, you do," Zero sighed, turning onto his side so that he faces the wall.

Even though my mind is racing with thoughts of Zali and whether or not she'll be alright when she wakes up, I still manage to walk over and kiss Zero goodbye, even if it's quite a hasty kiss that required little effort. I quickly make my way to my dorm room, buzzing with nervous excitement, undeniable fear and general tiredness. Doing all the things I usually do on _this_ sleep schedule is not going to get me anywhere.

As I open the door, I can't say I'm surprised to see Zali sitting on the ground with '_Divergent_' by Veronica Roth sitting open in her lap as she reads quietly. She looks up at me as I walk in, her sea blue eyes glistening with a strange sort of glaze that tells me she's only half listening to what I'm about to say. Then she recognises me.

"I still can't believe you hate this book," She said, sighing as she looks down at the words on the page. "_And_ I can't believe you kept it."

I stood, in awe, for a few seconds, wondering of this was actually happening. My little sister seemed normal enough, just like she used to back home but I could still see the bruises on her skin and the fangs that poked out as she spoke. It was like a twisted version of my sister, both good and bad, well, in this case, more like human and vampire. Noticing the silence, Zali looked up, raising an eyebrow at me as if I started speaking German, which, unfortunately, no one except me would understand.

"What? It's not like you haven't seen me read before, jeez," She muttered, rolling her eyes before continuing to read.

Getting a grip on myself, I answer the question as best I can without any awkward gaps between words. "I don't _hate_ it," I said in reply, walking calmly over to my bed and sitting, perched, on the edge. "I just thought that the ending was a little unfair."

"Life is unfair," Zali said, turning a page carefully, as if it would disintegrate at the slightest touch. "That's the whole point of the books. It proves that no matter what you, life and fate will win out in the end. It's brutal and cruel but...in a way...I guess, it makes sense."

As much as talking philosophy with my eleven, soon to be twelve, year old sister thrills me in comparison to what I _actually_ want to talk about, I must divert the conversation. Leaning down and taking the book from her, I catch her attention as she turns her head and looks at me with half-hearted eyes.

"I know what you're going to say," She said, looking up at me with a brutal confidence that chills me to the bone. "You're going to give me some lecture on why I shouldn't have done what I did. I'm not going to listen, so don't bother."

"I'm not going to give you a lecture, Zali," I replied softly, putting a hand on her shoulder which she curtly shakes off. "I'm trying to understand. You keep saying I'm to blame but I don't know what I'm to blame for."

Zali shakes her head violently, standing quickly and raking her hands through her knotted hair.

"_What do you think, Tori_?! I was alone for all those years, not even _noticed_ by our parents because they were so damn worried about you and all your fucking problems and I was sick, to death, of being ignored. They just didn't see that because they couldn't see past _you_. So what if I learnt what I know from Shizuka? She did a hell of a lot more than our own mother and to be completely honest, I wouldn't have minded if she had killed you that night when she attacked Zero. I'm tired, Tori, sick and tired of running and sick and tired of hiding. The only reason I asked for your help, the _only_ reason, was because I wanted whatever form of normality was left for me. I don't want this life anymore, Tori. I want to _die_!"

Completely and utterly dumbfounded, I can only watch and stare as Zali runs from the room on the verge of tears. I haven't seen her cry in...ever actually. Zali _doesn't _cry. She doesn't weep. She never shows weakness. _This_ is what I know will break me.

And in the end, it did.

* * *

**Hiding, hiding, higin- GODDAMN IT! Why can't I hide from my relatives in peace with my antic-social ways?**

**So in between my lack of internet, traveling, water sliding and just general laziness, I managed to get this chapter done. YAY! Ten points to Ravenclaw!**

**Zali, Zali, Zali, my dear girl, _you_ have problems. So what do you all think of the new Zali? Bit to childish? She is, technically speaking, still very much a child so forgive some prejudices. But she's still a bitch. Because I like her that way. **

**So responses to my question about the Ball Dropping in New York were instructive. I don't think Australia has a tradition. Except for awesome fireworks on the Harbour Bridge in Sydney and cool pictures projected over the Opera House. I didn't get to see it. I don't live in Sydney. I live in a place where they put Wrecking Ball on the playlist of songs to be played whilst the fireworks were going, (*shudder*).**

**So I will most likely get a chapter up again in the next couple of days but that is, if I'm not still sleeping. So tired. **

**Read, Review and ask questions if you want and I need some _serious_ sleep. I think I'm starting to adopt Tori's sleeping schedules. Not a good thing...-HL**


	19. Within and Without

**Just for aesthetic's sake, if you can find 'Ribs' by Lorde on Youtube or something, listen to it while you read. You don't have to but it just fits, that's all.**

* * *

Chapter 18:

Within and Without

* * *

**Zali **

* * *

Running through the forest surrounding Cross Academy was like running through a maze of trees, leaves and hidden fence lines. I was constantly finding dead ends, always stopping when all I wanted to do was run, run until I had no more life left in me to run. Or should I say, I have no more _human _life in me to run.

I shouldn't have cracked so easily in front of Tori but I couldn't help myself, as the emotions I had kept hidden and confined for so long swelled up in my chest, I couldn't help but cry. Every bit of what I said was true. Our parents loved Tori much more than me, probably because I was the surprise baby that nobody wanted, and they were always so caught up in _her _that they never paid any attention to me. They never said anything to Tori about her drinking habits, her drug addictions and late-night scandals but they argued constantly when she was never around. They fought over things I never understood back then but I understand them now, as I'm older and more cold.

It's true that I want to die, to go hide away in some hole of a place and die alone from the fear that seems to be choking me. I've never felt this kind of fear before the fear for my life and my sanity but my fear does not extend to the hunters or my sister. They're too weak and too powerless, my sister especially, and they'll never come after me because I'm a child. It's the one moral that no one, and I mean no one, ever crosses; murdering a child.

My alliance with Shizuka was never really intended for me. I would have been perfectly happy if my former master had just killed me then and there but he hadn't and in a way, I'm happy that he did. Shizuka saw something in me, whether it was my ancient blood or my vicious thirst for vengeance, she saw it and she taught me what I wanted to know. But unfortunately, she knew me far too well and knew what _exactly_ what I wanted.

She purposely kept away from the Academy, from Zero, to test my loyalty to her. She guessed I would have bolted, gone after my sister without a second thought. I would have too, but my better judgement spoke louder than my thoughts and I stayed put, not wanting problems with the Pureblood later on. She had pushed me to the limit but I stuck with her, knowing that in the end I'd have my chance. I had my chance. _But I missed it_. And that's been eating away at me ever since.

Although I love my sister, despite my bitter intentions, I can't help myself. _She paid attention to me_, even if she was the reason I was ignored by our parents. Whether it was arguing or asking for books or just general chatting, she would listen. She was a good sister in that sense but those arguments and conversations were few and far between as she was always out of the house or as high as a kite, leaving me completely and utterly alone. I guess, that small childish part of me just held onto that grudge.

As my legs give out from underneath me, I collapse onto the ground, the tears no longer falling and my sobs ceasing to be heard. I'm too tired to keep running and too lost to know where I am, but in my mind I'm still fleeing from the fear I keep inside. It's petty and childish but like I said, I am a child. And I'm too exhausted to grow up any more.

Sitting there, on the outskirts of the school, I keep finding my mind wander back to thoughts of Tori and what life was like before we were exposed to the twisted, bloody core of the world. The memories are so painful and yet I love them as well. I laugh at myself and my contradicting thoughts, hastily wiping the tears from my cheeks.

* * *

_"Why would Nero burn down Rome? It's not like the people did anything wrong, did they?"_

_Tori sighed impatiently, not looking up from her laptop as she typed up her essay on Ancient Rome, an assignment she had been complaining about for weeks. "He was mad, Li-Li. He used to kill for fun."_

_"But why?" I asked, climbing up onto her bed. "Please, Tori, tell me. Please..."_

_Tori sighed once more, looking over at me with half-hearted eyes before slamming her laptop shut and placing it beside her. She always looked good this way with her hair tied back, no make-up marking her face, wearing track pants and a hoodie instead of her usual slutty get-up. She'd had a bad withdrawal from her drugs lately and she had physically banned herself from leaving the house for a week because of it. She still looked healthy enough but I knew better. She wasn't healthy at all. She was cursed._

_Reaching over and pulling me into her lap, Tori wrapped her arms around my torso and rested her chin on my shoulder. She lightly kisses my cheek, making me feel distinctly warm and loved inside._

_"No one knows for sure, Li-Li," Tori said. "History is a strange thing; most of the time it's proven through evidence and close examination but the other parts are all guesswork. You understand that, don't you?"_

_I nodded but a part of me still wanted a proper answer, which she couldn't quite give me, so I strayed from that conversation onto the next. "When are you going to go back to school, Tori?"_

_"Later, Li-Li," She replied, gently combing her fingers through my hair, "When I feel better."_

_"When will you feel better?"_

_There was a slight pause before I got my answer, the question obviously surprising her. "I don't know, Li-Li," She whispered. "We'll see."_

* * *

"We'll see..."

Well, we saw alright. And it wasn't much better than the first time she got better. _Every single night,_ she'd be out partying, drinking and taking whatever goddamn substance would give her a high. It was her lifeline, the thing that would give her that sense of freedom she never had with our mother. I knew Mum smothered her, not me of course, and I knew it drove her insane. But I didn't think that it bothered her so much that she would give herself a bad reputation.

The wind howled as I stand on weak legs, my muscles turned to jelly in an instant and my bones feeling as if they're not even there. I tell myself that I should go back to Tori, to explain, but the other part just refuses to acknowledge her at all, telling me that I'd be wasting my time. In the end, the first judgement wins out and I saunter back to Tori's room.

I open the door to find her room empty, completely deserted just as I expected it to be. She wouldn't have stayed there, not after what I said. She would have run off to Zero and cried to him, just as she always did. Slowly and quietly, I push myself into her mind, seeing the world through her eyes.

The room around her is dark and dimly lit, although I can still see the faint outline of Zero's body, slumped back against the wall. Tori's thoughts are a jumbled, inconsistent mess, each individual idea racing around her head like V8 drivers on the last lap of their race. I can't catch an individual thought, making it frustratingly hard to work out her exact emotion. I give up quickly, satisfied that I know where she is, I slip out of her mind and push up the solid brick wall that blocks our thoughts from colliding with each other.

I took my time as I made my way to Zero's room, which I would have been able to find with my eyes closed thanks to Tori and her late night visits to him, but I still end up standing in front of his door far earlier than I expected. That one part of my mind still fights, as it screams at me to forget about my sister, to turn and walk away right now. _You don't need redemption_, it says. _You don't need any of that. You only need yourself, no one else. Why would you trust a sister who tried to kill you?_

It was a fair point but again, the nicer, more pleasant part of me, won out and I knocked on the door with a scowl plastered onto my face. My unlucky streak seems to continue as Zero answers the door. I literally have to dodge his grab for my throat, which I knew was coming thanks to the dark look that crossed his face as soon as he saw me.

"Nice try, genius," I snapped, slipping past him and into the room. "Maybe next time you'll have a better aim and actually catch me."

"Zali!" Tori exclaimed, jumping up from the bed with wide eyes.

With a flushed face, dishevelled hair and clothes askew, I can already guess what Zero's plan was to try and cheer up my sister. Sex always was her strong point, according to most guys.

"Well, well, well," I chuckled, crossing my arms across my chest as a smug smile stretches my lips. "I'm guessing she's graced you with her never ending charm. I hear she's quite good at it. Especially considering the amount of times you brought boys home when our parents were out and got _really_ vocal-"

"That's enough, Zali," Tori ordered, sounding far too serious in a hilarious moment. "What do you want?"

The tone of her voice amused me, considering it was just as bitter and spiteful as I would have expected from her and I smiled even wider at that, my anger fading slightly.

"What? Annoyed that I interrupted your fun time? Honestly Tori, I think you've had enough of that kind of activity for the rest of your life."

Anger flared in her eyes and I prepared myself for an earful. "If you're just here to patronise me, might as well leave now. I'm not in the mood."

"No, you're in the mood for something else entirely."

"_Zali_-"

"Fine, fine, fine. I apologise, I'm sorry. There I said it. Jeez, you'd think a big sister like you would have more patience."

Tori's face doesn't change but instead she seems to grow angrier, standing from the bed and advancing toward me. Only Zero stops her from reaching me, although she fights against his restraint hard whilst growling and snarling like an animal. It's not like I haven't seen my sister angry before but now she is _really_ angry. Angrier than I've ever seen her in my entire life. And _that_ scares me.

"_You're sorry_?! _You're sorry_, you selfish little bitch?!" She yelled, fighting hard against Zero's superior strength. "I mourned you for almost two fucking years, literally almost drank and drugged myself to death and landed myself here. _You_ were the one who almost pushed me over the fucking limit with you shitty little mind games! And you say you're fucking sorry?!"

Despite my fear, I manage to push down the wall separating our link and reach into her mind, only to be pounded by agonising pain as soon as the link is opened. I bite my lip, trying hard not to scream but I can't help myself after long. I can hear Tori swearing and screaming at me, not that I can understand her words with so much pain radiating through my body. But in an instant, the pain just stops.

Tori slumps against Zero, tears streaming down her face as she turns and cries into his shirt. He whispers comforting words, kissing her hair before turning his attention to me.

"You should leave," He said, his neutral tone feeling like a spear to my gut. "Wait till she calms down. Give her a day and she may talk to you, _may. _You, most of all, should know she doesn't forgive and forget so easily."

One thought rests in my mind as I hear his words, one thought that I know I should have listened to. _But she was willing to forgive me. _

* * *

Lectures on my behavioural standards bore me. Maybe it's because I never experienced them properly or maybe it's because I have little appreciation for most adults, but the lectures bore me, nonetheless, and I can't say I learn from them at all.

"Antagonising your sister will get you no where, Zali," Kaien continued, obviously not noticing my slumped position in the chair and how I'm mouthing his words back to him to amuse myself. "Tori is in just as tough a position as you, so you'll just have to deal with her-"

"I _know_," I groaned, rolling my eyes as I sit up. "Just like you've told me a thousand times already, just in different words."

"This isn't a game, Zali." Kaien went and sat down behind his desk, a frown etched onto his face. He looked at me as if I was a math problem he couldn't solve, a riddle he couldn't get his head around. I was a mystery to him and that annoyed him beyond measure. "Your sister is under enough duress already. Whilst you're here at this Academy, you'll have to learn to live with her or else."

"Or else what? You'll kick me out? Come on, Kaien, we both know you're too kind-hearted to do anything like that. Besides...I'm not even old enough to go to this school. Why keep me here?"

"Because as far as the law goes, I am your legal guardian, just as I am Tori's as well. I'll teach you and what I can't teach you, others will."

"Tori's eighteen in five months. Does that mean she'll get me when she's eligible?"

Kaien sighed, shaking his head. "No, she won't. She's been labelled as too unstable."

I laugh dryly, thinking back on how true that 'unstable' labelling is. "Tori is a lot more than just unstable, she's a psychopath who happens to also be a vampire. And that's coming from _me_."

That probably wasn't the greatest thing to say but I said it anyway, my care-factor for my sister reaching an all time low as Kaien sighs again, more with exhaustion than frustration.

"Look," Kaien said, probably hoping that he could be done with this conversation already. "Either you fix things with Tori or you don't, that's none of my concern. But you should at least _try_ to get along with her, try to understand what happened and move on. She will come around in time but she won't do it easily if you don't help her along. Do you understand, Zali?"

I nod, staring down at my hands clasped together in my lap. It's like I wouldn't understand; I am human, or at least what passes for it. I feel empathy and compassion despite what others think of me and I understand pain, in every manner of the word. I'm not dumb. I understand what I did and in one aspect, I'm proud of it and happy that it happened. But in another aspect, I grieve the person who I once was, the kinder, more gentle person who was quiet and shy. I miss that person but I also hate her for who she was.

I am both within and without, as Nick Carraway would say. I contradict both my own ideals and thoughts. I am both guilty and innocent, loved and feared, wanted and unwanted.

_Within and without..._

* * *

**Yes, I know. Short chapter. Please don't kill me. I still love you guys.**

**If you're listening to Ribs, I kinda thought the song stuck and I was listening to it over and over and over whilst writing this chapter so, thought I should share that experience with you guys. **

**So I have proper internet again, (Yay!). Bad news is I may or may not be going on a camping trip with some friends soon, so I may have to leave you guys for a while. The dates not final but I will inform you all on when I'll be leaving and when I'll be back. **

**So, what did you all think of Zali's point of view? I'm kind of planning something, so there is reasoning for why I did that, just...I can tell you those reasons. Although this chapter was a bit annoying, since I'm so used to Tori, it was a bit if a hard transition. But I think I managed it alright. Sort of...**

**Read, Review, ask questions if you want and-WHAT THE HELL?! Ugh...I just realised I have swim training this afternoon. Goddamn it...bye guys -HL**


	20. New Evil

Chapter 19:

New Evil

* * *

**Tori**

* * *

Zali plagued my dreams as I slept, trapped under the torturous sedative the Headmaster had given me in my murderous state. I cannot recall how long I've been under but I feel as if I'm drowning, drowning in my own fear and pain as the image of my little sister continues to haunt me.

I fight my way out of the miserable, nightmarish world I was stuck in, gasping for precious air as I awaken. It's ridiculous, really, that I had to be sedated for being angry at Zali. It's not like she didn't deserve it. It's not like I wasn't provoked. So why punish me for something that couldn't have been helped?

Tired and hungry, I stumble around my room until I manage to get dressed, my body being undeniably weaker than it should be. I think about making my way to the kitchen for food but curiosity plagues me at the sight of the Headmaster's office door, left ajar, leaving everyone inside visible.

"You've been asked to observe the gathering of vampires held tonight," Kaien said, sitting at his desk with a grave look on his face. "There will be many vampires there, so it will be quite a lot of work."

Zero, identifiable by his silver hair, looks up from his letter and stares down at the Headmaster, although I can't tell how considering that I can't see his face. "Tori isn't coming?" He asked.

Kaien sighed, pushing his glasses further up his nose. "The Council _did_ send orders for her...but I'm afraid that I don't think it would be such a great idea if she went."

My muscles tense and I grip the edge of the door hard as a feeling of outrage and betrayal spreads through my body. Why would it be a good idea? I'm just as good a hunter as Zero, in most circumstances, and I can hold my own around vampires. I may not be the politest person in the world but I know when to keep my mouth shut, at the very least. So why...

"Why not?" Zero asked, sounding more curious than outraged.

"Given her current state, with her sister and all, I don't think putting any more pressure on Tori is such a great idea," Kaien explained. "She's not made of steel, Zero. She will crack and break eventually, you know that. Her sanity is already getting closer and closer to the edge thanks to this revelation with Zali and I'd prefer it if she just rested for a while."

"What good is _rest_ going to do me?" I said, stepping forward into the room despite my better judgement. "I've rested enough in my life to know it doesn't help."

Zero turns at my abrupt entrance, his eyes wide with surprise. Kaien stands, shock and anger etched onto his face at the sight of me. Whatever drug they gave me, it obviously was meant to keep me unconscious for a long while. Well, I can say that it definitely didn't work.

"Tori, you must be weak," Kaien said. "You should go back to bed."

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what I was ordered to do," I answered back.

"You shouldn't-"

"Do. Not. Test. Me," I growled, clenching my hands into fists at my sides. "Where is this gathering being held?"

Kaien sighs, reaching into the drawer beside him and pulling out an envelope. He carefully places on the desk, pushing it out in my direction. I walk over and pick it up, my name scrawled across the bleached white surface in elegant cursive in black ink. I can tell it wasn't written with a normal pen, given the small drops of ink on the corner of the envelope.

"If you insist on going to this gathering, all the details are in that letter," Kaien informed me. "You'd better get ready. Both of you. You'll have to get there early to avoid any conspiracy about the both of not showing up."

Zero and I nod in unison, then leave without another word. It wasn't like I didn't know Zero was going to complain about me coming along but I expected him to be civil, at the very least. Snatching my wrist, Zero yanks me around a corner and swings me toward a wall. My back hits the wall _hard_, curses flying from my mouth as he pins my arms beside my head and stares down at me with angry violet eyes.

"You know, you could have waited until we got to your room," I said, trying a joke to calm him down. "Not many people would catch us and I could actually take my clothes off."

"Not funny, Tori," Zero snapped, not liking my relaxed tone. "Here's what you're going to do. You're going to go to your room, without any argument, and rest. You won't fight me, you won't tempt me or bribe me and you won't complain. Do you understand?"

I roll my eyes, relaxing under his grasp. "Come on, Zero. You could at least give me the chance to escape. You know I'm not going to listen, so why bother ordering me around?"

"Because this time, you're going to do as I ask."

"How do you know, darling? I'm quite persuasive."

Tilting my head up to meet his lips, I attempt to distract him with a little lust and desire. As soon as our lips meet, his grip on my wrists loosens and he allows me to break free, letting me tangle my hands in his hair. Even if he's still mad at me and I'm not exactly happy with him trying to keep me safe when I don't need protection, I still manage to melt into the kiss, sighing blissfully into his mouth. Zero takes that as an invitation, pushing me further up against the wall. He trails a hand down my thigh and lifts it up to his hip, sending my nerves into a frenzy and my mind into mayhem.

Luckily, through all my distractions, I manage to pull away, skipping down the hallway toward the exit.

"Meet you outside," I called back. "Don't want to be late!"

I only hear Zero's cursing before I leave, heading off to my dorm with a smug smile decorated my flushed face.

* * *

"I still don't see why you have to go into that place. It's not like Zero can't handle himself."

Zali sits cross-legged on my bed, her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail and '_Divergent_' open in her lap. She managed to salvage some of her clothes from the old Moon Dorm where Shizuka was hiding out, giving her a very narrow option of clothing. We haven't talked about buying her any new clothes, well I haven't talked to her at all since our fight, and I don't even know how to approach her anymore. I thought my outburst would shake her confidence around me, at the least, but she still seems to be confident enough, so I don't question that. As long as she's not torturing me with her insane powers, I'm perfectly fine with her presence as well.

Clipping my left earring in, I roll my eyes, visible in the mirror for Zali's benefit. "I can handle myself as well, Li-Li," I said, using my nickname for her for the first time in years. "Not that you'd worry about me anyway."

"No," Zali sighed, flipping a page lazily in her book. "That's true. I'm well past that stage in life."

Rolling my eyes again, I turn from the mirror. "Of course you wouldn't."

Wearing light lace and sheer material, my dress feels as if it's air as I walk, shifting and moving at the slightest movement of my body and yet still staying in place. I do love this dress quite a lot but I haven't worn it in quite a while, so it still feels quite strange to wear it.

"I'll be back late, alright," I said as I strapped my dagger to my thigh. "You can sleep in my bed but I will need sleep eventually, so don't be disturbed if I move you so I can actually fit in the bed."

Zali shrugs, not even looking up from her book to say goodbye. "Be brave, Tori. Be brave."

"I'm not part of Dauntless, Zali," I said as I open my door to leave. "So there's no use quoting '_Divergent_'."

I leave quickly, my heels clicking against the hardboard floors as I walk. I know that heels probably weren't the greatest option at the present time but there's a high chance that all I'll get will be stares and glares rather than actual attacks. Vampires are creatures of nobility; they always keep they're cool, no matter the circumstance.

I meet Zero at the front of the school, ignoring his stubborn glares and discouraging comments that seem to be endless on our way to the gathering. I stare out the window of the car for most of the trip, absent-mindedly thinking of the times back home when Zali and I actually acted like sisters. We had a reasonably healthy relationship, in my opinion, although some arguments would result in slammed doors, broken belongings and screaming matches but it wouldn't take long before we were both back to normal. I miss the girl she once was, quiet and innocent with hardly any self-esteem, and I miss the way she would come to me no matter what. I was Zali's problem solver, a saviour in her eyes. But for all I knew her, I never even questioned whether or not something was wrong. Not once. Looking back on those memories now, I feel like a complete fool for not seeing the subtle hints.

The run-down building where the gathering is being held looks barren and destroyed from the outside, with cracks and crumbling structure littering the site. But underneath all that is what seems to be a beautiful home, decedent beyond measure but elegant nonetheless. As Zero and I enter the ball room, I stare up at the sculptures ceilings and almost instantly think of a friend I once had. She was a talented artist and a kind-hearted person but I had left her behind for my depression fuelled partying and general trouble-making. I was sure, that if she was here, she would have to loved to just sketch the scene, placing intricate detail on the smallest of things.

"How gorgeous..." I muttered to myself, feeling a sense of dread settle on my shoulders.

Aristocrats had already begun to gather and by the time all the guests were in, there was a buzz of chattering and excitement that filled the air. I stayed on the outskirts of it all, watching numbly as the night went on. I received far too many stares as I walked, many of surprise and anger but also of curiosity. Zero and I were anomalies; Zero, for the factor of being a hunter turned a vampire and I, for my somewhat, dangerous, powers. News of what I could do has been spreading and in a way, it makes me anxious. It puts a target on my back and I hate having to watch myself for every step I take. It's nerve-raking and a waste of energy, and so I end up standing with Zero once again, convinced that no one would come near the both of us at once.

Leaning against one of the stone columns surrounding the building, I stare out into the crowd of vampires, not letting my eyes rest on anyone for too long. It doesn't take me long until I notice her, blue eyes and dark brown hair dressed in a noticeable black dress walking toward me.

I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest as I swear inwardly. "Adelaide..."

"Well, well, well," Adelaide chimed as she approached, a smug smile on her face. "Look who's here. I'm surprised Kaien let you come, considering what happened with your sister."

"Really?" I sighed. "I was was more worried about Zero stopping me. Not that I'm bad at being persuasive but-"

"I don't think what you did counts as persuasive," Zero interrupted, an annoyed look plaguing his pretty face.

"I think it does," I replied, nudging him playfully with my elbow. "Besides, you enjoyed it."

Adelaide coughs, choking on her champagne. "Do I really need to know this?" She spluttered, a laughing tone in her voice. "I'm pretty happy with my own sex life, thanks. Don't need to know yours."

"And vice versa," I said, running a hand through my hair anxiously as a blond haired man with emerald coloured eyes smirks menacingly at me, his gaze firmly set on my exposed neck.

I cringe under his hungry gaze, shivers racing up my spine as I lace my fingers through Zeros. Something about this place feels so off, so unpredictable, that it worries me and I begin to question whether I should have come here or not. Zero gives my hand a reassuring squeeze, obviously sharing my anxiety. In need of some space, I let go of Zero's hand and begin to walk through the crowds of vampires, letting my mind drift. Unfortunately, it doesn't drift for long as a familiar feeling of superiority appears in the air.

Everyone around me kneels toward the grand staircase, toward Kaname Kuran with his calm demeanour and polite gestures. The sight of him makes me feel sick but I hold my ground, staring him down with my hands clenched into fists at my sides.

"My apologies," Kaname said, sounding far too polite for my tastes. "I had no intentions of disturbing everyone."

I briefly look around to see that only Zero, Adelaide, Yagari, who I had not noticed was here, and I are standing. I understand the logic; we're hunters. We don't live under the laws of vampires. But something inside me tells me that I need to give in and obey, like a scolded puppy who obeys it's master.

People begin to ask questions about how Kaname saved Zero, questions that I don't want to know the answers to. If Kaname wanted to save Zero, so be it. I don't need to know the reasons or the logic behind it. I don't want to get inside Kaname's head. That just gives me all the more reason to run away.

I rush out of the ballroom, a choking, desperate feeling closing my throat as a strange feeling of claustrophobia sets in. I hate being trapped like that, stuck in a situation that I can't get out of. It's frustrating and horrible and I hate feeling out of control. Kaname Kuran brings that feeling to the surface whenever he's around me. In fact, I have a feeling that that's the same feeling I get around _all_ Purebloods. Their powers, their charm, their undeniable beauty is like a magnet to a low-level vampire like me and to others below them as well. Avoiding them is like trying to avoid your own shadow; you can only hide for so long before they find you again.

Racing up down the halls of the building, I struggle to breathe under the pressure of my emotions weighing down on me. I lean against a perfectly painted wall in the shadows, convinced that I've gotten lost far enough in this maze of hallways and doors that no one will find me. I sink down to the floor, coughing as I try to take in air and calm down. My mind buzzes with thoughts and fears and I have to spend a few minutes fighting an internal war to finally level my breathing.

"Now what's a pretty girl like you doing hiding in the halls like this?"

_That_ is what destroys me again. That voice...it has the same affect as Maria's did on me; it irked me and made me cringe but now, that feeling of wrong is even stronger. To the point where his voice hurts to listen to.

Slowly, shivering with fear, I turn my head toward the source of the voice. A little boy stands before me, small, timid and innocent but that's not the first thing I notice. It's his eyes that catch my immediate attention. One eye is pure blue, blue as the sea on a clear day, and the other is crimson, red as blood, and both are staring directly at me.

I know those eyes. I know them too well. They are the first thing I saw before I died as a human and became a monster.

"Hm," The boy sighed, cocking his head to the side as he stares. "It seems I cannot hide from you, can I? Oh well. Your time will come, witch. Just like all the others."

I shiver at the sound of his voice, feeling as if I should attack and kill him, even if he is in the form of a child. But my better judgment discourages me from that action, memories of Zero's confrontation with Shizuka flooding back to me. _I'll never be able to deliver the killing blow. Not when he is my master and I am his servant.__  
_

"Wh...What do you want with me?" I whimpered, staring back into the eyes of the man who murdered my family and helped in the corruption if my sister.

The child smiled, but it was not the kind of smile a child would wear. It was the kind of smile a murder wore when he had cornered his prey. It was the kind of smile that frightened people to the very bone and caused complete and utter obedience.

"Everything, my dear. Everything you have."

'_Don't you see? It is a new age. It requires a new evil. And I am that new evil.'_

No, I thought. Lestat was not the new evil at all. This man, this man hiding in the body of a child, he is the new evil. The evil that will damn us all.

_Rido...Kuran..._

* * *

**I enjoy plot twists. It makes me happy to confuse people. Wow, I really am evil. **

**So, I might just disappear...for a couple of days...you know cause I actually have stuff to do with my life. Yeah, I'm kind of going to Sydney for two days and I won't have any wifi at my hotel which makes me rather sad, so unfortunately I must leave you all. But I'll be back after that because the camping was called off due to that fact that my best friend who was organising it (rather badly might I add) has to go to Victoria that weekend. So I'm just gonna say in bed all day like I do most days of the week. **

**So what do you all think of ^that^ plot thingy? I don't even know if it was a plot twist. No one have me any predictions, so I'. Guessing it was a surprise. Anyway, thoughts on that. **

_**LittleDragonRider: **_**If I told you why I'm using both of Zali and Tori's point of views, then we wouldn't have a plot, now would we? Also, I don't actually want you to understand Zali's pain. My point is to make her confusing because she's just as messed up as Tori. If not a little more...Definitely a little more.**

**_royalpurple153: _You do know there are more chapters right? I have more in store, just saying. **

**Read, ****Review, ask questions if you want and wait patiently for the next chapter. **

**...I just realised I have Marvellous Creations in the fridge. I'm gonna go fix that. See you guys again when I have eaten all the Cadbury Chocolate in the world -HL **


	21. Debilitating Fear

Chapter 20:

Debilitating Fear

* * *

If hereditary fear is a thing, Zali and I were experiencing it the moment I arrived home from the vampire ball.

My whole body was shaking the whole way home, my mind wired to be frightened of every shadow that crossed my path. I could hardly think of anything but those horrifying eyes, the eyes that belonged to the man who destroyed my family. I was too shaken to speak to anyone, even Zero, and I spent the majority of the car ride back to the Academy with my knees drawn up to my chest and my head in my hands. _He found us_, Zali had whimpered through the bond. _He found us, he found us, he found us..._

I had bolted back to my room as soon as we arrived, my hands still shaking violently as I fumbled to open the door. Zali had ran into my arms as soon as I walked in, a milestone that I hadn't quite noticed in my debilitating fear.

"I saw him," She cried into my shoulder, hugging me tight. "I saw him, I saw him too. Why is he here? What does he want with us?!"

Shaking my head, I pull out of Zali's embrace, still shivering with undeniable fear. "I don't know. But I plan to find out."

Zali furrows her brow, giving me a calculating look. "What do you mean?"

"You don't need to know," I said, hastily walking over to my wardrobe and shuffling through the clothes until I find something suitable to wear. "What I need _you_ to do, is to go to Kaien's classes, pay attention, _not_ get yourself into trouble and just about a hundred other things."

"But what about Rido?" Zali asked, an accusing tone in her voice. "You can't just take him out on your own-"

"And I don't plan to," I snapped, unzipping my dress and stepping out of it as it falls to the ground in a pool of lace around my feet. "I have others who can help, Zali, but you're not one of them."

"Why not?! I'm just as good as the other-"

"You're a child, Zali. I'm not putting you in the firing line, right where _he_ could get to you. It's too dangerous."

"Everything we do from now on is _dangerous_! You can't shut me out again. I won't let you!"

Sighing as the distinct feeling of uneasiness settles over my heart, I turn to Zali and give her a weak smile. She only stares in response, her sea blue eyes staring right back at me. I wish she wasn't so stubborn. Then, at least, it would be easier to argue with her.

"I'm sorry, Li-Li," I whispered, tugging on my leather jacket over my blouse. "But this is something I have to handle on my own, okay?"

"You're doing it again," She exclaimed. "You're pushing me away, making me feel as if I don't matter. Don't shove me back into that area, Tori. I'm too old to go back there. Please, let me help you."

"No," I said sternly. "You're going to stay out of this as best you can. I don't want you getting hurt, not like last time."

"Then _you_ should be staying away from _me_!"

My fear and anxiety snap to a halt in a split second, my body freezing in it's fixed position. I was reaching for the door but what she said had stopped me. Now...I'm more than angry.

"What did you say to me?" I said quietly, my voice sounding far more dangerous than I expected. "_What_ did you just say to me?"

Zali senses my anger and backs away, realizing her mistake a little too late. "I-"

"_What_?" I hissed, advancing towards her with a deadly look in my eyes. "It just slipped out? You couldn't help it? Heat of the moment? Or were you just being the mean, spiteful, unforgiving little _brat_ that looks and sounds like my sister but isn't?"

Zali struggles to give me an answer, stumbling on her words and looking down at her feet in shame. She should, I thought, for what she said. She knows that what I did haunts me, that it tortures me to no end. To use it against me is like twisting a blade that has been stabbing into my back; _it hurts_. Shaking my head, I walk back to the door, uttering one last scolding comment before I leave.

"And this is why I don't want you near these situations; you don't corporate."

Without another word, I slam the door behind me and leave the dorm, shivering as the cold air hits my bare legs. My decision to wear a skirt outside in _this_ weather, probably wasn't a good idea, but when meeting a Pureblood, I think the gesture is the most politeness I can handle.

My sudden urge to see Kaname was born out of desperate need for information, for an explanation into why Rido needed me so badly that he came after me. I _need_ to know. It's not like I'm doing this without knowing how horrible it will feel; to be in the presence of a Pureblood is like being in the presence of rotting flesh for me. It's too overbearing and I can only take them in small doses, like when he walks by after school or passes me in the hallways whilst I'm on patrols. The thing that makes it worse is that I _know_ he's related to that...monster and there's nothing I can do to hide that fact.

So, no, I wasn't looking forward to this experience. But I was going to try and look past my prejudices and opinions for the sake of knowledge. Or at least, I hoped I could.

Passing through the Moon Dorm's open gates, I force down the instant sinking feeling in my stomach, hiding it beneath my emotionless expression as best I can as I knock on the dorm door. I know they're all there, considering I saw the majority of the Night Class arrive back after us, along with Yuki, who, to my surprise, had somehow been at the gathering. I didn't want to ask why she was there. Too many bad explanations filled my head at the thought.

Takuma answers the door after two minutes, his cheerful smile _almost_ vanishing at the sight of my rather stern face. "Tori! This is...a bit of a surprise. I don't believe-"

"I'm not here as a part of the Disciplinary Committee, Takuma," I said impatiently, startling the vampire with my rudeness. "I need to see Kaname. Right now, would be nice."

"Oh," Takuma muttered, stepping aside to let me in.

I step in, out of the freezing wind, and soften my expression a little to an apologetic look, my snippy mood _already_ getting me into bad places. "Sorry," I said, as Takuma closed the door. "I'm a little on edge, that's all. Long night..."

"He's this way," Takuma instructed, leading the way. "Yes, I saw you run from the ballroom. I hope it wasn't because you were uncomfortable..."

I scoff at his remark, smiling sadly at how correct it is. "I was...yeah, basically. I don't do well around most vampires. Guess it's just a habit now."

"Are you uncomfortable around me?"

I laugh at that question. "No, Takuma. You're too human like for me to feel uneasy."

Takuma chuckles softly, stopping at a large door which I'm assuming is Kaname's office. Even from this side of the door, I feel the uneasiness rise and settles in my chest, setting off alarm bells in my head. Takuma spots my weakening in confidence, his eyes narrowing to settle on my face, but he keeps it to himself as he bids me goodbye and walks away. I almost wish he wouldn't leave. He's actually rather calming to have around, for a vampire.

Smothering my fear, I grip the door handle and twist it, opening the door and timidly poking my head inside. I only have a split second to dodge the dagger that comes flying my way, before being buried hilt deep in the dark wood of the door. My mood somewhat relaxes at that point.

"Charming," I sighed as I step into Kaname's office. "Maybe next time, you'll actually hit me."

"Victoria..." Kaname said, sounding slightly surprised. "I'm assuming your reason for visiting me is rather urgent considering you can hardly stay in the same room as me on most occasions."

Kaname lies like a king on his high back sofa, staring up at the ceiling with a thoughtful expression on his face. With the moonlight shining on his face and down along his chest, I can understand why most of the Day Class girls swoon over him. He is handsome, no matter what I think of him, there's no denying it. Luckily, I became immune to the distraction of attractive men long ago, thanks to my rather sultry ways. Although, I have a feeling, if I was my old self; slutty, crude and undeniably attractive, I would have tried my hardest for him. _How despicable... _

"I need answers," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "Answers that makes sense and aren't intertwined into riddles, Kuran."

"How am I meant to give you answers if you haven't even asked a question?" Kaname stated, sitting up lazily to look at me.

"Please don't be smartass with me," I said tiredly. "It's exhausting enough having to listen to myself. You _know_ why I'm here, Kuran. And you know what I'm asking."

Kaname narrows his gaze, nodding toward the seat in front of him. "Sit."

The word sounded distinctly like an order, an order that held quite a weight as I slowly walk toward the chair and sit myself down. Being close to him makes my stomach churn and my heart beat a thousand miles an hour but I keep my cool, taking this experience one breath at a time.

"You're frightened," He observed, watching me with his distinctly brown eyes. "Of me, perhaps?"

"Not just you," I choked out, slumping back in the chair. "It's your blood. It makes me feel rather hungry and yet, I want nothing to do with the substance."

"And why would that be?"

I roll my eyes, playing along with his small-talk. "I don't quite know. Maybe it's because with one drop of your blood, I'll know every thing about you, all your darkest secrets and all your childhood fantasies. Maybe it's because I have a discomfort around Purebloods in general. But I suspect it's...it's because of your relation to...to _him_."

Kaname's eyes darken, his gaze firmly set on my face. "Hm...So I was right. He _was_ the one who turned you."

"You didn't know?" The fact that Kaname didn't know about his own uncle's actions was a little surprising but considering that Rido Kuran disappeared at least ten years ago and was never seen until the night I was turned, I guess I could accept his surprise.

"I had a suspicion," He said. "_You_ are an anomaly. I knew, at some point, he would come out of his weakened state to go after you. I just wasn't sure."

"I'm an _anomaly_?" I repeated. "What do you mean '_anomaly_'? I mean, I know my blood is special and all but-"

"Your blood is more than special. It's sacred to most vampires. Even Purebloods, like Rido, will try to get ahold of it."

Confusion gripped me with icy claws, pulling me deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. What's so special about my blood? I know I come from a vampire hunter family but that's hardly sacred to vampires. Hunter's are barely even tolerated. There's no way they'd be worshiped. Unless...

"A-Am I a...Am I a witch?" I asked, remembering how Rido had called me by such a name earlier that night.

"That's what some would call it," Kaname replied, stating it as if it were a fact that wasn't completely and utterly shocking. "Sorceress. Enchantress. A Wiccan. There are many names for it. But only one thing matters to vampires and that is your blood."

Forcing down the shock, I try to push forward in the conversation. "What about our blood is so special? Is it...the taste or-"

"Magic, or your ties to your magic, lie in your blood. It's a well-known fact among Purebloods, well more of a myth really, that if you drink witch's blood, you will gain access to their powers. If you kill them, you inherit everything from them and it's said that you become...somewhat invincible."

"Impossible..." I muttered. "How...I mean, how could I be a witch?! My family is made up of primarily hunters-"

"I don't know the answers to those questions," Kaname snapped, impatience clear in his voice. "But I do know why Rido turned you. _That_ much should be obvious."

"He wants me for my powers...doesn't he?"

Kaname clenches his jaw as he stares down at the stone chess set on the coffee table, certain pieces arranged and destroyed. "Among other things."

"Among..._what_ other things?" My confusion level had somewhat decreased at this point but I was still rather confused. I could feel Zali poking around in my brain as I wait for my answer and I momentarily push her out, which gives me just enough time to pull up the wall and shut her out.

Kaname sighs, tearing his eyes away from his chess set to settle back on me. "When I say you are an anomaly, Victoria, I mean more than you are a witch. You're a witch who is also a vampire. That is a little more than unheard of these days."

"Why? Do the witches hide from vampires or hate vampires?"

"To the first; no. To the second; yes. But it's unheard of because witches are...quite rare these days. Ever since the Crusades, the number of witches in any part of the world dramatically decreased and they all became quite reserved. Most of witches won't even know what they are, like you, but for you to be both, it's..._dangerous_."

"Because of my powers?"

"Yes. They seemed to have been awakened when you became a vampire. And they're quite deadly, if I may say so. The ability to sense a person's memories through their blood, the ability to inflict unimaginable pain, that's all dangerous but it's what _he_ wants."

"So...he's here...for _me_. That's what you're saying?"

Kaname looks away again, a distant, thoughtful look glistening in his eyes. "Not just you. But that _is_ part of it."

More confusion ensues. "What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my brow as my brain tries hard to process so much information at once. "What else could he possibly want except me and possibly the act of killing _you_?"

Kaname shakes his head, the thoughtful look disappearing from his eyes as he extends his arm out in front of me. My skin crawls as my eyes instantly spot a vein in his wrist, my hunger igniting like a wildfire once more. I whimper as I look away, biting my lip hard to keep myself from attacking.

"Drink," He said, cutting his wrist and letting the blood seep out of his wound. "Drink and understand."

I try to keep my eyes away from his blood, my curiosity and hunger get the best of me as I lightly grab onto his wrist and slowly, bring it up to my mouth. The smell of his blood is intoxicating, similar to that of rich wine, and I almost moan as I bite into his skin and let his memories flow into my mind.

Every one of his memories is like water slipping through my hands. I see glimpses of them; a woman with long braids wearing a hood, a crowd of angry villagers, darkness...so much darkness. Then I eventually come across more distinct memories, ones that stick and are visual. I see a man and a woman, both beautiful and baring remarkable resemblance to Kaname. I can only assume they're Haruka and Juri Kuran, his parents. I see rooms with no windows and white walls. And then I see...no...it couldn't be.

Jerking back as the memories settle in my mind, I gasp for much needed air as the news settles on me. Yuki...she's not human. Nor is she just an ordinary vampire.

"Yuki's your sister?" I gasped, clutching at my chest as Kaname's blood burns in my veins.

"You did see my earlier memories, didn't you?" Kaname said thoughtfully, acting as if I hadn't just seen his deepest thoughts and desires. "You know that I am not Yuki's true older brother."

Panting, I still manage to grasp the situation around me and shift through the fresh memories stored in my mind. "You're the Kuran ancestor. The original Kuran, that is."

"Yes. And now you know what else Rido wants."

"Yes," I choked out, hardly hearing his words over the pounding of my heart against my ribs.

Rido never wanted _me_ to begin with. I wasn't even a part of his original plan. I was a bonus, an extra that he had found and made use of. No, his true prize his hidden, awaiting to be emerged. His true prize is here, in this school.

Yuki...she is his prize.

* * *

**Dun-dun-duhhhhhhhhhhhh *dramatic expression*.**

**Witches...witches..._witches..._  
**

**So before you go questioning me entirely, I will explain. I had always wondered if there was an actual Wiccan side of vampire night, a bit like how Anne Rice did with her books, but I was disappointed when it was never really mentioned, so I added it myself. And be prepared, because that side of this story is gonna get hella confusing. Give me your opinion on that too and ask any questions about it as well if you want. **

**So I'm meant to be sleeping right now, considering I have to wake up at 4 in the morning to catch a train to Sydney, so I'm just gonna do quick answers to questions.**

**_LittleDragonWriter_: Tori's uneasiness around Kaname is explained here but yeah, it's basically because she hates Purebloods. Wow, I must have been rather misleading if you thought Kaname turned Tori. **

**_Imncake_ (I am not making the same spelling mistake twice.): Yes, Yuki was there. I just refused to acknowledge her in that part. Plus, she was kind of hiding, so chances of Tori running into her were pretty low. **

**Okay, that's all I have time for because I REALLY need to go to sleep. **

**Read, Review and ask questions if you want. Wait patiently for the next chapter which should be out in a maximum of three days but hey, who knows? Love you guys and GOOD NIGHT -HL **


	22. Traitor Amongst Friends

Chapter 21:

Traitor Amongst Friends

* * *

What I found out that night, that freezing night of fear and confusion, I kept exclusively to myself. Zali, of course, knew as much as I did but she agreed to stay quiet until I said otherwise. It was fear, of course, fear of being found out that caused me to take such actions. I have too much to fear at the moment, too much to be worried about that I don't even want to learn about my Wiccan history. Why bother? I may be dead in the next few weeks. It's not going to do me much good, anyway.

I decided to bring my speakers into the living room tonight, in need of open space and bright lights due to the fact that I've spent at least two days in my room, sleeping and listening to music. Zali finally moved into her own room and left me alone, as I expected, although she does slip into my mind on occasion for short conversations. Finally, the constant darkness got on my nerves and I snapped.

Lying on the sofa, a small pile of books stacked on the floor beside me, I quietly read Marcus Zusak's '_The Book Thief_' with soft music playing in the background. After a little while of close concentration, I realise that the music isn't actually coming from my speakers. It's coming from down the hall.

Curiosity wins out as I place my book down and rise from the sofa, following the soft sounds of a piano melody echoing through the halls. I eventually reach the source, carefully peering through a door left ajar to see my sister sitting at a beautiful grand piano, carefully pressing the keys in the darkness. I lean against the doorframe, smiling to myself as I watch Zali play in the dark, using only memory to play her wonderful music. It always was her hobby, playing piano. She said it relaxed her, made her feel alive. I remember sitting in the lounge room at times, just listening to the sound of her music as she played in the room over. I always thought she was so talented. Such a waste...

All of a sudden, Zali hits a wrong note and she groans, slamming the keys in frustration and causing a horrible clatter of untuned sounds.

"Woah," I said, turning on the light so I can see where I'm walking. "What did the piano ever do to you? After all, it _is_ the one that copes with your anger management issues."

Zali pokes her tongue out at me, pulling a face as she looks back down at the keys. "Like you could do any of this."

"Uh, I can't," I said, sitting down next to her on the bench. "I'm not the musician here."

Zali sighs, pouting slightly as she runs her fingers lightly along the white keys. Her hair is tied back, braided down her back in dark brown waves, and her eyes are red, due to the lack of sleep I know she isn't getting. I wonder if she's been here in her restless nights, playing away to keep the nightmares far away.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Wrong?" Zali said blankly. "What makes you think anything is wrong? I could be playing for the enjoyment of it, for all you know."

"Well, are you?"

Zali's mouth twitches, as if she was about to snap back at me but suddenly decided against it. Her fingers slowly trail across the black and white keys, lightly pressing to create a soft, sweet song. "I've been having nightmares lately," She explained, not looking up from the keys. "Nightmares about...a man with black hair and strange eyes. One blue as the sea...and one red as blood." Her fingers shake as she plays, her voice quivering with fear. "I know who it is. I'm not going to pretend that it's not him. But the fact that he haunts my dreams like that, it...it scares me."

Wrapping my arms around myself, I shiver, thinking quietly on those eyes that seem to be the horrible reminder of our parents deaths. "It scares me too, Li-Li," I replied. "But you aren't going to fight him. I won't let him use you-"

Zali's music aprubtly stops as she slams the keys again, tears leaking from her eyes that I hadn't quite seen. "It's not me!" She exclaimed, grabbing me by the shoulders with strong, brute force that I didn't know she possessed. "I'm scared for _you_, you idiot. What Shizuka told me about him...He'll do anything to get to you, Tori. If you're exactly what Kaname says you are, he'll want you _desperately_. I don't trust him, I don't trust him at all."

"He killed our parents, Zali. I think the distrust is warranted," I said dryly, standing from the bench with a strange numb feeling that blocks my sister's cries. I have the sneaking suspicion that this is an act, an outburst designed to make me pity her. But when I look into her face and I see those tears, those tears that are so scarcely shed, that's when I start to doubt myself.

"I'll be fine," I continued, walking toward the door. "You don't have to worry about me. My well being is not your concern."

"It _is_ my concern!" Zali protested, her voice shaking as she speaks. "You're my sister. Why wouldn't it be?"

All of a sudden, my bitter side takes hold and I stare back at my little sister with disdain. "Oh, I'm sorry. But where was your concern when you tortured and threatened me?"

Without looking back, I storm out, slamming the door behind me. My thoughts become a jumbled mess after that, twisting and tangling in one another until I can no longer tell one idea from the next. My anger seems to have seeped into being as I stomp my way back to the living room, slumping down onto the sofa, with rage bubbling in my blood.

How dare she?! How _dare_ she patronise me in such a way? What do I matter to her anyway? She never cared what happened to me when she was with Shizuka. She wouldn't have given a damn if I had up and died. That was how she was now; a cold, cruel monster of a girl with a heart of stone. That's how I recognised her now. But that desperation...the tears that flowed down her face...they seemed so real, so genuine that they made my heart ache. It was sisterly affection that caused that, I know, the kind that never goes away no matter how hard you try. But, oh, how I wished it would go away.

Groaning with frustration, I rake my hands through my hair, staring up at the ceiling with a violent sort of intensity that makes my muscles shake and my breathing lose pace. I felt as if I should cry but couldn't, for some unknown reason. Maybe I _had_ run out tears to cry. How I hoped that was true...

Without warning, the light bulb I had been focusing on so intently explodes, flickers of flame appearing as glass showers down onto the coffee table. I gasp, jerking into an upright position and staring at the sharp pieces of glass that coat the dark wood of the coffee table. How did I do that? Was it...some sort of...burst of energy that coursed through me? Did I somehow throw my emotions out of my body and make them a physical weapon?

Unfortunately, I have no chance to experiment with this as Kaien rushes in, a bored looking Zero in tow. "What happened?!" Kaien cried, fussing over the shards of glass on the table.

"I-I...I don't know," I stuttered, trying hard to come up with a liable excuse. "It must have overheated or something-"

"You alright?" Zero asked, placing his hand on my shoulder.

His sudden touch makes me jump and I almost gasp but I force it down just before it leaves my mouth. "I'm fine," I replied, trying to shake off my surprise. "Just a bit shocked is all."

Zero nods reluctantly, as if not convinced by my jittery response. I'm not surprised; I wouldn't have been either.

"Hey," Zero said, leaning down over the couch and placing his lips close to my ear. "We need to talk."

Slowly, I turn my head to meet his eyes, our faces mere millimetres away from each other. In a second, I rise from the sofa and follow Zero out, leaving Kaien to fuss over broken glass. He leads me through the halls, not saying a word about what we were to talk about, until we reach one of the guest bedrooms. Zero enters quietly, leaving a silent invitation open for me to come in.

As I enter the utterly dark room, a sort of dread drips from the air, sprinkling like rain over us. Yuki is the source, her wide, scared eyes looking much like a rabbit's, a rabbit frightened by the sound of a gunshot. She sits huddled in a corner, with her legs drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them.

"What happened?" I asked, letting my eyes adjust properly to the dark. "What's wrong?"

"That's not important," Zero said, cutting off information that I most likely _is_ important. "We just need your help, Tori."

"You're going to have to try a little harder than that if you want my help," I scoffed, leaning against the wall with a surprising amount of calm. "What happened to Yuki?"

"That is not _important," _Zero hissed, his patience growing thinner. "We just need your help to get into the Association's records. Maybe your aunt-"

"Oh for the love of God, Zero, tell me what the hell happened?!" I snapped. "It's not that fucking hard to answer a question with a simple answer."

Still aware of the incident that occurred only a few minutes ago, I try to pull myself in line. A repeat of what happened would be disastrous. It would reveal what I am. That can never happen. Never, ever, _ever_.

"I just want to know!" Yuki cried, tears glistening on her cheeks. "I want to know who my parents were, alright?! Maybe...maybe there's an answer to why they abandoned me. Why they left me behind. Is that too much to ask for?!"

_Yes_, I thought, _yes it is_. Thinking back to a few nights before, when I had learnt of my true lineage and Yuki's true identity, Kaname had made me promise. He made me promise to wait until Yuki was ready, wait until she was ready to become what she was. Until then, I couldn't say anything. I had to protect that closely guarded secret as best as I could, out of respect for the sacrifices that were made to keep it hidden.

And _that_, I decided, would mean that I would have to keep Yuki from learning anything of her parents. Even if I decided to not to help them, they'd find some other way into the archives. I had to tag along. I had to help them but unhinge them as well. _She can't know_, I thought, _she can't know, she can't know, she can't know._

I agree to get them into the archives, on the condition that I get to go with them. They agreed, of course, convinced that I would help them in their search. But that wasn't true. In reality, the cruel, harsh reality of the world, I wasn't. I was playing for the other team.

I was a traitor to my friends. And I was betraying them willingly.

I tossed and turned in bed all night after that, running over my plan a thousand times until the sun shone through my window and beckoned me into a new day. Convincing Adelaide to let us into the archives was quite easy but it was the fact that she had to go through her brothers that made me nervous. One of them was already suspicious of me and I didn't want to raise his suspicion any higher. Luckily, no questions were asked and the next day we went to the Association.

I fidget and fuss as I walk alongside Yuki, my nerves getting the best of me given the current situation. I didn't want to seem like I was up to something and I tried my best to make it seem as if I was just bored or annoyed, but with Zero's eyes constantly watched me with guarded watchfulness, hoping for me to make some mistake and slip up. For a while, I'm afraid I will. But then the indifference sets in and I no longer care what he thinks. _Let him think whatever he wants,_ I thought. _It won't make any difference to the secret I'm keeping_.

"Are you three absolutely sure you want to go there?" Kaien pestered for the hundredth time. "It really isn't a place I would recommend going to-"

"Give it a rest, will you?" I snapped. "Where else could we go? The Council of Ancients certainly isn't happy with us, so we're stuck with the Association for now."

Rubbing my tired eyes, I can feel a dull, throbbing headache appear and for once, I know this one is genuine and not the result of Zali's sadistic ideals. Yuki looks at me with a worried gaze, her mouth set in a frown.

"You alright?" She asked, watching me carefully. "You've been really irritated all morning. Is something wrong?"

I shake my head, sighing with genuine exhaustion. "It's nothing. I just can't seem to get any sleep these days. That's all."

"Maybe you should get some sleeping pills," Adelaide inquired behind me.

"No, they're no good," I replied. "They just trap me under and I'm just stuck with the nightmares. I come out of sleep in a worse shape than I would have if I'd stayed up all night, staring at a wall."

"Maybe the Association can give you a remedy," Zero said, letting go of his suspicions for a minute.

"I don't trust them enough to let them give me a sleeping remedy, Zero. They'd probably try to poison me or someth-"

"Tori!" Zero hissed. "This is a hunter's town. Keep your mouth shut."

The sudden reminder makes me snap back to my senses, my fidgeting beginning to resurface as I shove my hands into the pockets of my jacket and bite my lip in shame. Talking as I did in a hunter's town is utterly taboo, thanks to the amount of prejudices that hunter's hold. I should have known to hold my tongue but my bad mood and nervous anxiety got to me at the worst of times. _Slip up number one. _

We enter the Association with minimal chatter and gossip but of course, some smart-mouth managed to spot both Zero and my tattoos.

"Huh, I thought there was a spell put on this place to repel vampires," The man said as we walked by, catching my attention. "But I guess you're both one of those domesticated vampires. Like dogs."

"Even dogs bite their masters," I snarled through gritted teeth. "Even a idiotic, pride-riddled hunter like you should know that."

"We can always put you down," The man chuckled, glaring at me with a dangerous gaze.

Before I can answer back, Yuki jumps in, much to my annoyance. "Hey! Don't you think it's a little unfair for a grown man to pick on children?!"

"Don't call me a child," I said quickly, although I'm sure no one heard me.

"Oh, so this little brat's your master, huh, dogs?" The man said, tweaking one too many nerves.

Sighing, I clench and unclench my fists in my pockets, resisting the urge to growl at him. That'll only give him the satisfaction he wants and I'm not open to giving him that. What I _am_ open to giving him however is a full-force jab to the throat.

"Now, now, Zero is a respected ally. He was born into the Kiryu family, who are known to be far superior to other hunter families, and with the added bonus of possessing the abilities of a vampire, he has come quite dependable in most situations."

A slight shiver runs up my spine as the President of the Association approaches us, her green eyes settling on Zero before lingering over to me.

"Oh," She said. "You must be that Setsuna girl, aren't you?"

At the mentioning of my last name, I feel a spike of guilt shoot through me as I never actually recognised myself as such. It was my mother's maiden name but I had a British father which is why I possess a Western name. Setsuna was a name I had only ever been called once or twice but now, it's significance just makes me sick. It's a hunter's name and I don't deserve it.

"Yes," I replied, swallowing down my strange sense of guilt.

"Well, you look to be doing well," She said, walking up to me and looking me up and down. "I hope your sister is doing alright as well."

"You'll do well to not mention her again," I snapped, my irritation level raising. "Such subjects are not to be discussed so publicly."

"Oh, we have a fighter, do we?" The President chuckled. "There should be more people like you to fight for us. But it would do you well to know who is your superior in this situation."

I hear Zero laugh, although it's quiet and almost inaudible, which makes me feel a little less uneasy. "Obedience really isn't Tori's thing."

Adelaide groans behind me, growing tired of the conversation quite easily. "Well, that's it for me. I'm going to go see who's next on my list. Yagari, you're coming with me."

"Wha-"

Before Yagari can say any word of protest, Adelaide snatches him by the wrist and drags him down one of the halls, the sound of her combat boots slapping against the wooden floors echoing through the halls as she runs. I can only smile, my aunt's strangely short attention span amusing me.

The small talk continues for another agonising ten minutes, until the President finally guides us to the archives. Her sultry personality only persists to annoy me beyond measure and at first, opportunity, I walk off with Yuki and the Headmaster, leaving Zero alone with the President. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone but I'm glad he's not around, looking over my shoulder and watching me with those accusing eyes of his. I can handle almost everyone else's judgement but I cannot deal with his. It hurts far too much to know that I'm betraying him.

I pretend to work with Yuki as we shift through endless amounts of records and reports, the slight smell of fresh blood distracting me ever so slightly as it clings to the air. It's faint but I know it's there and it bothers me to no end. But I keep my discomfort hidden at Yuki's expense, as I've already raised a few suspicions and I don't want to ignite a blaze of questions pounded onto me.

"Kaien Cross...what?" Yuki exclaimed, looking over to her adoptive father with surprise. "You were a...vampire hunter?"

Kaien looks up with shock and fear, snatching the book from Yuki's hands and slamming it shut before she could read any more. I laugh, shaking my head as I look back down at the page I had been pretending to read.

"You didn't tell her? Seriously, Kaien, I thought you would have at least given her _that_ bit of your past," I said, flicking the page over quickly.

"I...I'm sorry I couldn't tell you about my past Yuki," Kaien said guiltily, hiding his face in the book. "I just didn't want you to think I was contradicting my own ideals-"

"Geez, I just opened a wrong book," Yuki snapped. "You're my dad. I don't care what you did in the past. No need to be so secretive."

The thought, I'll admit, is quite touching but as Yuki turns opens the book of another book, something else catches my attention. From this view, I can see that it possesses all reports and information on the winter Yuki was found. My immediate reaction is panic.

As a result of my panic, the page itself bursts into flames as I lay eyes on it, quickly becoming engulfed in flame before disintegrating entirely. As a commotion occurs, I do not rise to comfort Yuki. I do not hurry to her in surprise. I simply stare at the now burnt page, fighting back the tears that I feel rising to the surface. I've done it now. I've found myself in possession of other people's secrets and other people's fates and I am to be the one to deal with consequences. I'm to be the one who suffers for getting into things that don't quite concern me.

And as I look up at my friends, I feel Zero's gaze latch on to mine. He stares at me with the bitter hate that he only ever gives to the vampires of the Night Class. _He knows, _I thought. _He knows, he knows, he knows. _

'_It takes two to make an accident.' _No, Jordan Baker, it does not. It does not take two. It takes only one. One person with an entire arsenal of horrible mistakes and bad choices can make an accident.

And that person, is me.

* * *

**Oh, that was a long chapter. I think I need to go get some chocolate to save myself from the depressingness. **

**Tori is just making all the wrong choices. ALL OF THEM! Sorry if this was sort of a weirdly worded chapter but I just reread the Great Gatsby and watched the movie for the gazillonth time and I was feeling poetic. **

**I have no questions today because I kind of went to sleep at 12 this morning and I'm really tired. Plus I don't think there was much of a plot twist to this chapter. So ask any questions you want and I promise I'll answer them. Promise. **

**_LittleDragonRider_: I've sort of intertwined the manga and the anime in terms of events but I want to follow the manga in terms of how the story will end. So, we still have a _long_ way to go.**

**Read, Review, ask questions (like I said) and wait patiently for the next chapter. **

**Wow, that was a boring author's note. I _must_ be tired. I promise a more entertaining note next time. Oh, brownies. I have a new love for brownies -HL**


	23. Falling Apart

Chapter 22:

Falling Apart

* * *

"What are you?"

The question seemed endlessly naive, even if the answer was not so simple. The wind drifts in through the window, sending shivers down my spine. Zero's voice might have scared me, that is, if I hadn't known he would come for me.

I had taken the first chance I found to run off when we first got back to the Academy, locking myself in my room and hiding from Zero's suspicious gaze. He hadn't said anything the whole way back and he hadn't told Yuki anything about what he thought he saw, but I knew he was watching me. I knew he would ask questions. I knew he would want to know what I was hiding.

"A bold question," I said blankly, staring out into the darkness of the night. "Think on this Zero, what if what you saw wasn't actually what you think? What if it was just a trick of the light?"

"I'll ask again," Zero growled. "_What_ are you, Tori? Why are you keeping secrets from me?"

"What does it matter to you?" I snapped, turning my head to look at him. "Can I not have my own reasons for things?"

"_Tori_-"

"Tori, Tori, Tori. Jesus Christ, you sound like my mother." Turning from the window and approaching Zero, I stretch my arms out above my head, feeling more relaxed than I thought I would. "Maybe you should go look after your little princess instead of trying to invade on my space."

"What's gotten into you?!" Zero exclaimed, taking a step toward me and grabbing me by the shoulders. "You're not who I remember you were-"

"Oh, come on," I snapped, shoving him away. "You're gonna have to try harder than that to break me."

Zero stares at me, stunned, obviously not used to my violent side at all. I laugh at his shock, shaking my head as I lean back against the window sill. "What's wrong?" I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "Cat got your tongue? Really, Zero, you should have learnt to be more careful around pretty girls. Some of them aren't as innocent as they seem."

Zero's shock turns to rage as he lunges at me, giving me a wide opening for escape. I side-step his attack and still manage to drive my knee into his gut, causing him to double over and collide with the wall. I feel a slight stab of guilt slice through my heart as I watch him struggle for breath, a part of me wishing for this ugly confrontation to have never occurred. But with what's at stake, I force down that guilt and push my feelings for Zero away.

"Hm, who'd have thought?" I said. "Zero can actually throw a punch when he puts his mind to it. Good to know."

"Tori, what are you doing?!" Zero snapped, pulling himself to his feet by the window sill. "I thought I could trust you. I thought you were..."

"Thought I was what, Zero? Thought I was your girlfriend? Thought I was yours? You should know Zero, I don't belong to anyone. I'm no one's, Zero. I'm not a possession."

Zero steps toward me, placing his hand on my cheek as a small sign of affection. "What happened, Tori? What changed your mind so quickly?"

Once again, I push him away, slamming my back into the wall and wrapping my arms around myself. My armour begins to show cracks as I gasp, biting my lip to fight off the tears. _Everything results in blood and tears these days_, I thought. _Everything..._

"You really want to know what I am, Zero?" I said shakily, looking up at Zero.

His response is far too quick and without thought. "Of course."

With no more boundaries to confine my power, I force it out, focusing my thoughts on the furniture around me as they set alight. I force my eyes shut, shaking violently as power surges and hums through my veins. It feels like my blood has been replaced with acid and is burning me from within. But at the same time, it feels so incredibly good that I'd prefer this power surge over any drug.

I force my eyes open again and stare up at Zero, gritting my teeth as I try to keep the room ablaze. "I'm a witch, Zero," I shouted, digging my nails into my skin. "I'm not human. Not one bit. I can do things that no man can or should do and I have every right to protect you from me. I'm dangerous, Zero. I'm an anomaly. And I'm...all _his_."

Unable to keep the blaze going, I let it die out, collapsing onto the ground, panting and gasping for air. The distinct smell of ash and smoke clings to the air but I know nothing is really burnt. I was too tired to make it real fire anyway. Zero makes no sound at all, not speaking a word to me. I thought he might attack me again but he's probably too shocked to move. Or too disgusted. At this point, I don't care.

"Tell me, Zero," I gasped. "Are you so that you love me now? Or have you changed your mind as you should have?"

Without much warning, I feel Zero's hand grasp around my neck and lift me up off the ground. He slams my back into the wall, cutting off my airways as he tightens his grip on my neck. I choke, both dying for air and hoping for him to choke me tighter. I don't fight back, only placing my hands lightly on his wrist and staring into his eyes.

"Do it," I gasped, tightening my grip on his wrist. "Come on. Kill me. Do it, Zero."

Zero's eyes flash with reluctance and I almost wince as he puts his Bloody Rose to my forehead, finger on the trigger. "Do it," I sobbed, tears beginning to leak from my eyes. "_Do it_, Zero! Do what I don't have the strength to do! Don't let him take me!"

Zero's grip on my neck loosens until he finally lets me go, letting his gun arm fall to his side. His eyes settles on my tears and he gently brushes them away, but seemed as if he was doing it because it was a task he had to do, not a gesture of affection. I shiver and shake, swallowing down the bile rising in my throat.

"Why did you burn the page?" Zero asked. "What do you know about Yuki's past?"

I shake my head, pushing myself off the wall and walking past him. "She can't know. She isn't ready. It's not safe."

"Why?"

"You don't need to know, Zero. Neither of you do. Kaname will-"

"_Kaname?!_" Zero barked, his face lighting up with anger. "What business do you have with him?!"

"Oh, please, Zero, stop being such a child!" I snapped back. "You're held down by the childish ideals that were brought on by a lifetime of a hunter's teachings and a tragic event. I get that you hate him and don't think I don't either but he knows more than you think."

"What have you been doing with him?" Zero growled, backing me up to the window sill. "Have you...Have you been seeing him behind my back?"

"Oh for the love of God, Zero, _think_ before you say things. Of fucking course I haven't. God, you're a child sometimes!"

As I try to push past him, Zero's hand shoots out and catches me around the waist. He slams me back onto the window sill and holds me there, an animalistic growl leaving his throat.

"Let me go, Zero," I snapped, pushing against him. "I'm not telling you anything, so just leave me be."

"What do you know about Yuki's past?" Zero said quietly, trying to sound calm. "Give me a straight answer or-"

"Or what?!" I sneered. "You won't do anything to me, you already know that. So why threaten me?"

Zero's expression grows grave as he steps away from me, his eyes glowing in the dark as he stares at me in disbelief. I know I've hurt him now and it hurts me too to know I've done such a thing. But some things have to remain hidden, even if it means that we lose the people we love most. Even if we have to die for that secret.

"You were right, you know," Zero said, backing away until he reaches the door. "I know...nothing about you anymore. I guess...I guess I should have listened to you."

Without another burning painful word, Zero leaves and I am alone once more, shaking violently as I sob. No tears flow down my cheeks but I cry anyway, even if I have no tears to cry. I don't know what I'm crying for, but I have a suspecting feeling it's for the friends that I've lost and for the man who I let slip through my grasp.

But I guess, I know better. No...I'm crying because I've lost _myself_.

* * *

Nothing could really console me after that. The spring break flew by without much trouble at all and I spent most of it with Zali, watching her play on the piano for endless amounts of time. It was quite calming, in a way, and I enjoyed it but it made me so sad as well, as the music seemed to reach into my heart and pull out all the underlying guilt that I had worked so hard to force down. Zali made no judgement as she held me when I cried, wiping the tears from my cheeks and comforting me as best she could.

I couldn't help the crying much these days. The stress and fear that I had bottled up for so long seemed to now be leaking out in waves and I just had no strength to fight those waves. I would sit in my room for such long periods of time, crying and crying until the wave of sadness and depression would finally end and I could just no longer cry. It's a complicated thing, grief. You can never quite find the words to describe it.

Zero made a point of avoiding me after our fight. He would always hang around with Yuki and talk to her, hardly even looking at me until it was necessary. It hurt quite a lot for him to treat me this way and my heart ached for him every time I saw him but I know I deserved his cruel treatment and I did as he wished, sitting far away from him with a book in my hands and music in my ears. We don't speak at all, not even greeting each other in the mornings or apologising if we bumped into each other.

Yuki and Zali are our victims, in this case, forced to deal with our separation in a horrible way. I can tell that Zali doesn't mind me hanging around with her, actually I think she quite enjoys it, but she has a sort of vibrant hate for Zero now, a hate that she does not mind displaying in front of him. She'll snap and taunt him and antagonise him in every way and when I asked her why, she said it was for me.

"Even if you are a slut and a murderer," She had said. "You were too good for him. He threw you away, Tori. He deserves what I give him."

Little did she know, it was I who threw Zero away, not the other way around.

Yuki doesn't say anything at all to me but instead, she'll throw sympathetic smiles my way when Zero's not looking or roll her eyes at Zero when he barges past me. She doesn't know that I don't deserve them but I let her do so anyway, her sympathy making me feel a little better about the hostile situation. Not that her sympathy made me feel any better the day the Night Class came back to the Academy.

"Welcome back, everyone!"

Yuki's mood did not extend to Zero and I as the Night Class approached, tall, black-haired Kaname leading them forward. In my mind, I spit accusing and hateful comments his way, clawing at his face and ruining his neverending beauty. I wish for his little game of kings, queens and pawns to be over. For this budding war to not blossom as it should. But I would be naive to think that it would just _end_ and I know Kaname has good reasonings for his secrets. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Zero and I stand a good distance away from each other, his violet eyes avoiding mine completely and his body turned away so that his back is to me. I don't really care anymore, with a raging headache and sore eyes from another sleepless night, I have better things to waste my time worrying about.

"I'm home," Kaname remarked, approaching Yuki with a small, sad smile playing on his lips. "Yuki, I got you a present." Reaching into his pocket, Kaname pulls out a small vial, with what looks like a rose encased inside. It probably means something to Yuki and I'm probably witnessing an act of love but I don't care, considering I'm too tired and nauseated to think much of it.

Turning up my music, I almost turn to leave as Zero and Kaname engage in a battle of stares but I'm quickly stopped as Kaname taps me on the shoulder.

"Don't think I would have forgotten you, Victoria," He said, holding out a pendant to me.

I take it in my hands, feeling the smooth surface of the purple gem attached to a silver chain. The combination of those two colours instantly reminded me of Zero but I quickly shove that thought aside before it can cause me any more of a headache. On contact with my skin, I feel a slight tingle prick my finger tips and I wonder silently if it's been infused with some kind of magic or charm.

"What's this?" I asked, holding it up. "I mean, not that I'm not open to pretty gems, but I'm more of a sapphire kind of girl."

"It's amethyst," Kaname responded. "It's an ancient necklace, said to be charmed by the witches of Salem for protection against demons who wish to possess you. It's a legend of course but given that you read Anne Rice novels, I thought the style and story would appeal to you."

_Huh_, I thought. _So I was right about the magic_. Smiling at the gesture, I unclasp the chain and fasten it around my neck, the gem tickling slightly as it settles against my throat. "Thank you," I said. "Nice reference too. Never thought Anne Rice would be your kind of book, Kuran. But you should have stayed away from Salem if you want to get me some thing related to her novels. Try things from New Orleans. They're rather superstitious there."

Kaname smiles mockingly and heads back toward the Moon Dorm with the rest of the Night Class. I watch him go, a hand placed on the amethyst at my throat. I can feel the slight hum of power emitted from it, protecting me silently. Even if I have a grudge against Kaname, I still appreciate the gift, even if others don't understand it's value.

As we walk off, Zero barges past me, clipping my shoulder and making me stubble and almost, _almost_, fall. "Watch it, jackass," I exclaimed, regaining my balance just before I tumble to the ground. "I'm walking as well, if you didn't notice."

"Nothing's going on, she said," Zero yelled back. "Don't be such a _child_, she said. The lies are quite clear, _Victoria_."

"Oh go fuck yourself, asshole. You're judgement is just clouded because of the fact that you've got your head up your fucking ass and you're now wearing it as a hat!"

As much as I would have loved for that to have caused a reaction in him, it didn't as he keeps walking and disappears into the forest. Muttering profanity under my breath, I storm off to the main building, my head feeling as if it's about to explode.

_Zali, I swear to God, if you're the one causing me this pain, I'm gonna murder you when I get back to the dorm. _

It a few seconds later till I get a response, right after she scoffs at me like a child. _Like I could even focus enough to do it,_ she snapped. _Kaien gave me math homework and I've got just as bad a headache as you. Think it's that necklace? _

_Nah, it's something else, _I replied. _If we're both getting it, then it means it's either something in the bond or some other crap and _not_ the fact that I stayed up all night last night watching horror movies because they seemed pretty damn tame compared to my nightmares. _

_Yeah, never do that again. Freaked me the hell out, you know. _

_Will do, Li-Li. _

Too exhausted to fully commit to patrols, I make my way back to my dorm, intent on sleeping for the next few hours. Zero's words stick in my mind, haunting me as I walk into my room, slamming the door shut behind me. Of _course_ nothing is going on between Kaname and I, why the hell would he think there was? I may be a little bit of a slut but I'm not that much of a slut to jump on every pretty boy I see. He overreacts and that annoys me, just like most things at the moment.

Determined to cast away my anger and raging headache, I climb into bed and force myself to sleep, falling into another goddamn nightmare quicker than I would have liked. But it wasn't just any nightmare. It was the worst kind. Because in a way, it was real.

"Did you miss your master, Victoria?"

Rido Kuran stands before me, his tall form looming over me with his strange and haunting eyes staring down at me. I lie beneath him, his hands pinning my wrists above my head as he leans down and licks my neck. I whimper, trying desperately to wake up but I know already that this isn't an ordinary dream. Rido will let me go when _he_ wants to, not when I want to.

"So, my little witch, how have you been?" He said, his face hovering only inches from mine. "I hear one of the Kiryu twins has had the pleasure of your divine company. Well, it seems he's had _more_ than just your company, am I correct?"

Shivering with fear and disgust, I try to struggle against him but it proves useless as he holds me down tighter and digs a knee into my _still_ broken ribs. I wince, trying my best not to cry out and give him the satisfaction.

"No scream?" Rido said, a disappointed tone to his voice. "Well, that's a little disheartening. How about we try again, hm?"

Leaning down again, he wastes no time in sinking his teeth into my neck, only getting him as far as a muffled cry as I bite down hard on my lip to keep from screaming. One rational thinking part of me screams that maybe, just maybe, if I give him what he wants he'll let me go. But my pride and my better judgement urge me on. I know he'll never have what he wants until I'm by his side, protecting him and giving him all the power he wants.

"Well, it seems you're more resistant than I thought," He sighed, licking my blood off my neck. "I thought that at least that would have sparked old memories."

"My old memories are drenched in blood," I hissed. "I only remember them as such. What will this achieve?! Let me go!"

"Should I? Well remind me then, to make my next visit a little longer."

In an instant, I snap back to myself, jerking into an upright position in my bed. My heart pounds against my ribcage and I'm drenched in sweat. Reaching up, I place my hand on my neck, only to find it coated in my blood.

I was right. That was no imaginary dream, a figment of my imagination. Rido can pull me in and out of that state whenever he wants and do whatever he wants to me.

_Whatever he wants..._

* * *

**I stayed up till 1 o'clock this morning writing this. I WAS going to post it...but then my parents turned off the wifi. *excess head desk***

**So, things are pretty much just going to shit for Tori. In every way possible. But things will get better, I promise. Well...sort of...**

**_LittleDragonRider_: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, no spoilers, no spoilers, NO SPOILERS! I'm only just a quarter of the way through, don't ruin the book already for me! **

**_Inmcake_: Depressingness is my thing :P. **

**I'm literally unable to come up with anything funny to say because I have done nothing with my life in the last few days except buy more books, fangirl over every piece of fandom news that I see and also admire my newly renovated room. Seriously, I can't freaking get enough. Love it so much...**

**So, as for questions, I don't think there is one in this chapter, so how about predictions? In other words, what do you guys think will happen?**

**Read, Review, ask questions if you want and wait patiently for the next chapter. **

**As for my brownies, I have eaten them all. Writing food is delicious -HL**


	24. Far From Reach

Chapter 23:

Far From Reach

* * *

School seemed like an unbelievable waste of time as I dragged myself into the classroom the next morning. I knew I would never be able to focus on work and with the nagging thirst of hunger clawing at the back of my throat, I would only be a nuisance to the teacher and others who tried to talk to me.

Sitting down in my seat, I put my headphones in and dread the next six hours of agony of sitting next to Zero and arguing with him. '_To Kill a Mockingbird_' sits under my pile of books, waiting for me to open it and read but I resist that urge, tapping my fingers on the table impatiently as the teacher enters the room. Thankfully, that teacher is Adelaide, making my first class Modern History which I enjoy and I can only hope it'll lift my mood.

In her time as a teacher at the Academy, Adelaide has managed to tease just about every boy in the Day Class with her short skirts, sly smiles and supermodel looks. I've heard far too many dirty jokes from the guys about her and honestly, I don't see why she's always teasing them. But there's a kind of tired, lazy aspect to her flirtatious method as she sits herself on the edge of her desk that worries me. She crosses her legs, giving the already staring guys a view of her suspenders, and takes a deep breath, obvious shaken by something.

Warily, she looks up at me but her eyes drift over to the empty seat beside me and for the first time, I'm conscious of Zero's absence.

"Alright people, shut your mouths!" She yelled, her voice echoing over the chatter. "I actually have something useful to say for once, so _listen_!"

The wary look on Adelaide's look on grows stronger as she continues to talk. "There'll be a new student starting this semester and I'd like you to all to put away your phones and boys, save of some those dirty jokes for later. Not that I don't appreciate the flattery but I am not going to have sex with you on the desk and my underwear is black at the moment, not red. Yes, I heard you all."

The moment Adelaide finishes speaking, the classroom door opens and the _last_ person who I ever wanted to see walks in. Ichiru strolls to the centre of the classroom, a slight smile on his lips and his uniform straight as ever. He both looks nothing like his twin but also exactly like him. It's painful to see him for more than one reason.

"Hello everyone," He said as my nails dig into the wood of the table. "My name's Ichiru Kiryu, Zero's twin."

_Traitor_, I thought. I hardly hear any of his other introductions as the chatter in the classroom increases, only to be shushed by Adelaide. Ichiru's eyes switch from Yuki to me, his smile becoming slightly more sadistic as he watches me.

"Class Rep!" Adelaide called. "You're in charge of getting Kiryu number two here up to speed. Until then, he'll sit with you. Now, shut up, sit down and study independently. I have things to do and you have some catching up to do from break."

Everyone, however, seems to ignore Adelaide's comment as the chatter increases and Ichiru goes to his seat, which is annoyingly just across the from me. I open my books as he passes, that stupid smile still on his face. I literally have to restrain myself as he leans down and whispers in my ear.

"I wonder if that necklace of yours will protect you from your own rage, Victoria."

Not even looking up from my book, I roll my eyes and push him away. "Your seat's over there, doppelgänger. Better get to it before you find yourself flying out a second story window with your books and a chair shoved up your ass."

My hostile response doesn't seem to deter Ichiru's annoying attitude as he chuckles and sits down. I cope, barely, despite Ichiru's constant stares and the horrid thoughts plaguing my mind. That doesn't however, distract me from Yuki as she motions for to follow her out. _With_ Ichiru in tow, much to my annoyance.

"Yuki, I can't," I said as she tugs on my elbow. "I have other things to do."

"Tor-"

"Yuki, I _can't_ deal with Zero or his brother right now. _Leave me alone!_"

Shrugging her off, I storm down the corridor, almost on the verge of those stupid tears yet again. I wish I could stop the crying. It makes me feel so weak and so tired, not to mention alone. It only makes things worse as I run straight into Zero, almost falling on my ass at the same time.

"Sorry," Zero muttered, carefully side-stepping.

"It's fine," I replied. "Wasn't like you would have helped me up anyway."

I manage to make it to my dorm room without bursting into tears but with the sudden reminder that I have patrols to do, they somehow just find their way back to the surface. Quickly and swiftly, I choke them down, dumping my things on my bed and leaving in a hurry. Every emotion seems to have swelled in my chest, pushing me too close to the edge. It's infuriating and I'm constantly forced to shove all my feelings aside for business matters.

I rub my eyes, wiping away the tears as I hurry to the gates of the Moon Dorm. The fangirls have already gathered there in their usual numbers, screaming and yelling for the Night Class as the gates open. I'm surprised to see that I'm virtually the only one here, that is until I see Yuki and Zero hidden amongst the crowds of black uniforms. Still, Zero's silver hair and tall, lean frame manages to stand out the most of all and it agitates me even more than I thought it would.

I do my best to help Yuki and Zero, by that I mean, just standing where I usually stand and turning up my music rather loud so I can't hear anyone. The fangirls, thankfully, don't mess with me, mainly because I'm just not nice in general but also because I have a tendancy to snap when other people push me too far, especially in recent times. Even these girls know not to cross that line or they'll pay.

The distinctly uneasy feeling of power washes over me as Kaname walks over to me, pulling out my earphone as a silent message, telling me that he wants to talk.

"What?" I groaned, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm running a little low on patience right now, so you'd better make this quick."

"Hm, still as hostile as ever I see," He said, hardly even blinking an eye at my rather snappy comment. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like a word."

"Now?" I scoffed. "Seriously? You do know I'm not here to cater for your every wim and desire. I do have a life."

"Victoria, please do not fight this. Come along."

The silent order carried with it the weight of ten storey building as Kaname walks off, an invisible force pulling me after him as I follow him with numb limbs. I have a feeling that he used whatever power he possesses to make me come with him and surprisingly, I'm not so angry at that. I never would have gone with him otherwise, so I can understand his motive.

"Alright then," I sighed, finally relaxing back into my own limbs as I settle into a steady walking rhythm beside him. "What is it that you want to talk about so desperately?"

"Since you're a very...straight-forward girl, I think it's be best if I got straight to the point, don't you?"

"Obviously. I expect nothing less."

"Well...I would like to ask a favour of you," Kaname said somewhat reluctantly. "You know full well what Rido plans to do with you and Yuki. With that knowledge, I will ask you this: protect Yuki with your life and in exchange, I will do my best to make sure that he does not take you."

"You could never protect me from him," I replied gravely. "You may be the ancestor but I'm his weapon. His warrior. He'll come after me regardless. I'm not a side-option like Yuki, who he only desires and does not really _need_. Your attempts would be futile."

Kaname looks at me curiously, watching me carefully as if I were a caged tiger about to pounce. "Are you rejecting my offer?"

I think on his question for a moment, biting my lip as the warm wind blows by and ruffles my hair. "No. I'm not. I was just stating a fact, that's all. So...why the discreet request?"

Kaname smiles sadly before answering, the distant, thoughtful look sparkling in his eyes. "You'll find out, Victoria. Though, I'm not sure you'll approve."

"You're right. I probably don't even want to know. Thanks anyway..."

I quickly back away from him as the majestic pull of power that drew me to him loosens and I walk away, a horrible gut feeling circling inside me. What had I just agreed to? It was true, I didn't really want to know what he planned to do with Yuki but in this case, it seemed as if I more _needed_ to know than wanted to. I know he would never hurt Yuki but something seemed so undoubtably wrong that I regretted walking out of the conversation early as I walked away.

I decide to skip patrols, yet again, and go to the music room to see Zali. That's her main hiding spot now, as she says the music calms her and makes her feel as if she's not so empty as she thinks she is. She's become much less hostile lately, which is good but she still has those bouts of anxiety and doubt, which usually result in screaming matches between us before we're spilt up by the adults. It's usually Yagari and Adelaide who spilt us, Yagari taking me because he can be a little firmer than Adelaide but on one occasion, Kaien split us, actually yelling at us for the first time ever. It scared Zali and I enough that we haven't fought since.

Following the sound of soft music, I enter the music room silently, the song being played sounding slightly familiar. Zali's head stays bowed, concentrating hard on the keys as her fingers fly across them effortlessly.

"Why does that sound familiar?" I asked, making Zali jump and suddenly stop playing quickly as she gasps.

"Jesus, Tori!" She exclaimed. "Don't you ever knock? You scared the crap out of me."

"Lovely," I said, walking over and sitting beside her. "And here I thought I sucked at all things that involved stealth."

"You _do_," Zali emphasised, sighing and placing her fingers back onto the keys. "I was just focusing too hard to hear you come in."

"I could see that," I replied. "What were you playing?"

"Nothing really. Just random melodies that popped into my head. I was trying to test my creativity."

"Then why did it sound so familiar?"

Zali shrugs, becoming absorbed in her music again. "I might have played it before and you heard me or something. How am I meant to know?"

"Just asking, Li-Li," I said defensively, already sensing the hostile tone in her voice. "You...you sure you don't need a break or something? I heard you in here this morning. Have you even moved or-"

"I did about an hour ago," Zali snapped, growing impatient quickly. "Kaien gave some lesson on geography, which was completely boring and annoying beyond measure. But what's it to you if I have? Do you see me complaining when you sit on the couch for hours on end with a book in your hands?"

"Woah," I exclaimed, standing from the piano bench. "Where did _that_ come from? Are you alright? You're quite edgy-"

"_I'm fine, okay?! _Can I not just sit here and play on my own without being harassed every ten seconds!? Jesus Christ, people need to learn to leave me alone!"

In her anger, Zali let slip and sent the wall separating our minds crumbling with her annoyance and rage. All her anxiety and memories of nightmares come flooding in like a tidal wave of emotion, nearly knocking me over as it takes my breath away. Now I know why she hasn't been sleeping and is so edgy now.

Rido. He's got to her too. I'd been so caught up in my own problems and issues that I hadn't even considered if he had gotten to her. Although Zali was never intended to be his servant, she's still useful to Rido. Better two witches than none, is probably what he's thinking. Images of her nightmares flash before my eyes, all of them coated in the red stain that is blood. Rido may not intend to do to Zali what he will to me but he definitely scared her and scared her good. She's terrified, actually. And I was too blind to see it.

As I finally process the last of the information that crowded my mind, Zali forces the wall back up, although her anger seems to have only escalated at my snooping around in her feelings. She glares at me with those sea blue eyes of hers, the small glints of green in them shining in he brightly lit room. She looked so much like our mother in that minute, but the blue eyes seemed to ruin it. Those eyes were our father's. But everything else was Mum's.

"You done?!" She snapped. "I don't like it when unwelcome people come snooping in my brain and stealing the thoughts and memories I'm trying to hide. Especially when _you_ do it."

Still recovering from shock and slight nausea at being in Zali's head, I take a second to regain myself before even _attempting_ to apologise. "Zali, I-"

"I don't want your pity, Tori!" Zali yelled. "I want you to _go away_. Go off and mourn Zero like you usually do instead of pestering me all the time. If you miss him so much, which I know you do, don't deny it, go after him. Yell at him, tell him he's an idiot until you feel alright."

"It's not that simple, Zali," I hissed, her mentioning of Zero tweaking a nerve. "You're young. You don't know what relationships are like-"

"Yeah, well, I'm most certainly sure _you_ don't either because all the so called 'relationships' you ever had, were drawn out flings. And sometimes they wouldn't even be that, they'd be a one night stand. Then you'd never talk to them again and move on-"

"Do not hold that to me!"

"I can do what I want-"

"_Hey!_"

The sound Yagari's voice made me jump. I didn't hear him come in over Zali's yelling nor my own and I almost have the urge to yell at him too but that would only result in me getting a earful from Adelaide _and_ Yagari. It seems neither of them like to be yelled at.

"Tori, get out here now," Yagari ordered. "I'd rather talk to you without your little sister glaring at me for interrupting a surprisingly juvenile argument. Come on."

With one last glare at Zali, I obey like a scolded puppy and follow Yagari out. He shakes his head as he sees my flushed, annoyed expression, running a hand through his hair. Somewhere I between the yelling, a few tears of frustration managed to slip from my eyes and roll down onto my cheeks. I hastily wpie them away but I know Yagari's seen them already.

"You've gotta stop antagonising her," Yagari said, motioning for me to follow him. "She bites back and bites back hard. I thought you would have known that considering you're her sister."

"I've never seen this side of her before remember?" I said weakly, crossing my arms over my chest as I walk. "I hardly even recognise her sometimes."

"I doubt it's that bad, kid."

"It _is_. And don't call me that. I don't need to feel any more like child."

Yagari chuckles softly, as if my annoyance amuses him. Seeing the unhappy look on my face, his face turns grave and the remnants of that laugh disappear. "Look, Tori-"

"I don't want to hear it, okay," I said tiredly. "I don't want to hear about whatever behavioural lecture you're thinking of giving me because I'm just not in the mood for it. Things have been pretty fucking bad for me lately and I don't need someone questioning me with every step, okay?"

"Alright, alright," Yagari said, stopping midwalk. "I won't say anything. But I'll just tell you this. Zero...he's difficult, I know, but when you yell at him and insult him like you do, you're only damning yourself further. Zero won't ever admit that he loves you again if you keep pushing him away."

"He's _safer_ away from me," I replied. "You don't know the things I do, Yagari. You don't understand."

"Tori, you-hey...what's that on your neck?"

_Oh shit_, was basically my immediate reaction. The bandaid. I had out it on my neck to cover Rido's bite marks and I had scrubbed all the blood out of the shirt to hide the evidence of his visit. I'd completely forgotten about it through the day, mainly because no one mentioned it or spotted it at all. I should have been more careful. I should have realised.

"It's nothing," I said quickly, maybe a little too quickly as a suspicious look crosses Yagari's face.

"Sure doesn't look like it," He said, reaching out to try and get a better look at it as I cover it with one hand. I back away from his hand, only to smack my back against the wall just a little too hard. "Why won't you let me see it?"

Swallowing hard, I brush him off, taking a step in my efforts to walk away but Yagari catches my arm and jerks me back. "Why won't you let me see what's under the bandaid, Victoria?"

"Just because you use my first name _doesn't_ mean I'll do what you ask," I hissed, yanking my arm from his grasp. "And for your information, you don't need to know. I can have my own secrets, can't I? Now leave me alone. I don't need your help."

Shoving a stunned Yagari away, I storm down the corridor, making a sort of final decision as I make my way back to my dorm. No one will be safe when I'm around. He'll come for me and obliterate anyone who stands in my way. I can't let anyone get close now. Not when all their lives are at stake because of me.

My decision was final before I even made it to my room. Pushing everyone away is the only thing that I can do now to keep them safe. They won't come after me then, when Rido finds me and takes me away. They won't desire to save me or make me myself again.

They'll hate me too much to care.

* * *

**So. Tired. Why. Is. Swimming. Such. A. Brutal. Sport? Blah...**

**With a rather large amount of depressing music, chocolate and occasion YouTube breaks, I decided to continue the depressing streak. Not making any promises whether or not it'll get better because I'm evil like that but hey, I'm sure you guys can wait.**

**Just some reasoning for why I've been basically making these chapters come out extremely quick: I have quite a lot of time on my hands, given the school holidays and the fact that I literally have nothing to do, so I've just been writing like crazy to cure my boredom. Unfortunately, there are only so many YouTube videos in the world to amuse me, so you guys are lucky for that.**

**Question, question, question...hm...what should I ask you guys? Oh I have an idea. **

**What do you guys think about the witch thingy and what do you think will happen with that? I really like it when people predict what'll happen, I have no idea why but I just do. So if you could be so nice to answer that question, it might help cure my extra boredom that's leftover on the side. **

**Read, Review, ask questions if you want and wait patiently for the next chapter.**

**OH OH OH WAIT! Another question but am I the only one here who loves John Green's books or even knows of them? Tell me if you are a NerdFighter because that would just be awesome. **

**Okay, I'm gonna stop talking now. Bye :P-HL**


	25. Snow Turned to Ash

Chapter 24:

Snow Turned to Ash

* * *

"I'm not here to play your games, Kaname."

The wind blows by softly and subtly, ruffling my hair as I lean back against the tree. I decided, in my early morning depression in the warmth of my bed, that I wouldn't be going to school today. It was such a waste of both my time and the teachers. I wouldn't be paying attention or putting in my best effort so why would I? And I had managed to get away with it for the majority of the day, until I'd been '_summoned_' by Kaname.

I had only just learned of his relationship with Yuki when I woke up at midday, after I eavesdropped on a conversation between two Day Class girls walking by. I didn't think much of it, considering what I already know of Yuki and her relations to him. But then I remembered the promise that Kaname held me to and now I understand why he wanted me to protect her. I was just another pawn.

"You agreed, didn't you?" Kaname said, flicking to the next page in his book. It slightly annoys me that the book is actually '_The Great Gatsby' _but I was also happy to see it wasn't any Anne Rice novel or '_To Kill a Mockingbird_'. _That_ would have pissed me off.

"Yes, under pressure," I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest in annoyance. "It wasn't exactly a fair deal."

"You didn't want to know what I had planned," Kaname said calmly. "It was your own fault. At least you have my protection."

I scoff at his remark, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my jeans in anger. "'_Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope.' _No, sir, it's a matter of infinite patience more like."

"Excuse me?"

Rolling my eyes, I snatch the book from his hands. "Unless you're actually going to read Gatsby, give it to me. I'll actually appreciate it, unlike you."

"Do what you want with it," Kaname said, waving it away. "I've found it quite dull."

"F. Scott Fitzgerald would be appalled. How could you say it's dull? The times weren't called 'The Roaring Twenties' for nothing and he captured it perfectly, with poetic flair and brisk story-telling."

Kaname smiles sadly, holding his hand out as if to silently ask for the book back. "Too poetic for my tastes."

"'_If a personality is a series of unbroken gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him'," _I read aloud, before closing the book and handing it back to him. "Gatsby reminds me of you, you know that?"

"How so?"

"You have more than enough money. You're revered but those around you. You never really lose your temper and you've lost the person you love. The comparisons are uncanny but I don't think I've noticed them till now."

Kaname's expression turns dark at that, his dark eyes looking up at me with a sort of dangerous sparkle to them. "She's here."

Furrowing my brow, I wonder what he's talking about, but only for a split second do I wonder, as Yuki comes into view, with Zero in tow. My heart seems to beat faster at the sight of him and I can't help but stare for a moment. But as his eyes lock onto mine, I quickly look away, pushing myself off the tree and beginning to walk away.

"Tori," Kaname said sternly, stopping me in my tracks. "Remember your promise."

"I can't be here, Kuran," I hissed. "I need to get away from _them_."

"Your fear can be put on hold for now," He replied, the feeling of control and obedience sinking into my bones as he stares into my eyes.

I nod, slowly, against my own will and better judgement, and inwardly, I curse myself for being to weak and susceptible to him. I hate being controlled. Especially by Purebloods, who have to use their god-forsaken powers to do so. It makes me sick and I feel as if I'm being used. Maybe I am, for all I know, but I'm too smart to judge him. Kaname may be kind in some aspects but when it comes to people speaking out against him, he tends to hate it. Well, at least from my limited experience he does.

Angrily and under Kaname's unbearable influence, I walk over to the back wall of the school that hides this place from view and lean against it, still managing to gain some control as I settle myself at least three meters from Zero. I keep my head down, my hands in my pockets and my eyes away from his but the temptation is still there, teasing me with every stolen glance. I can feel his gaze rest on me every once in a while, making me go stiff and tense until he'll finally look away, after an agonising few seconds. It hurts that I'm so far from him, both physically and emotionally. It hurts that I can't touch him like I used to, can't hold him close and savour his kiss. It hurts beyond measure, but I know I caused it and I know that this is how things must be in order for him to be safe.

"You look quite bored there, Zero," Kaname said suddenly, looking back at Zero. "I think the Day Class girls can get to this place. Could you take care of that before it gets too loud?"

I half expected Zero to object but I have a stroke of luck as he simply pushes himself off the wall and leaves without any complaint. I almost can't believe it and as Kaname shoots a sympathetic look my way, I can't help but smile sadly in response.

* * *

'_In his blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars.'_

Zali rolls her eyes at me as she walks by, hauling herself up onto the kitchen bench and sitting next to me. "Are you actually going to help with dinner or are you just sitting here reading and being antisocial?"

Hardly even looking up from my book, I turn to the next page. "You should know already; I'm always antisocial when it comes to books. I thought the incident with the chair, keyboard and computer monitor was enough to solidify that."

Zali smiles at the memory, as if it were warm and fuzzy and not something that actually caused my parents to spend five hundred dollars on a new home computer and a rather large hospital bill on a broken arm for me. We were very violent in our fights, Zali and I.

With the heat in the kitchen and the strange smells lingering in the air, I really shouldn't be in here whilst reading. But I guess I missed human company, even if I'm trying to avoid eye contact with said company. My rule against getting close to anyone has made an exception with Zali, considering the fact that she knows my feelings quite well already and she knows not to go after me if, or should I say _when_, Rido takes me away. But even now, with the bond wide open, I can feel some of her uneasy feelings slip through.

"What's this about antisocial behaviour?" Kaien asked as he, less than subtly, eavesdrops on our conversation.

"Oh nothing," Zali replied, giggling slightly, a sound that I haven't heard in a while. "Just reminiscing."

"Reminiscing about rather painful memories, actually," I interjected, closing my book and leaving it on the bench. "I have some things to do. Sorry, Headmaster, but it'll be a pass on dinner."

"But-"

"_And_ it's a no on the 'social bonding time' with Zero," I said, already walking to the door. "No offence, but I'd rather fall into a pit of syringes full of deadly poisons. It's a, definite and certain, _no_."

I leave the room with a lazy sort of attitude to my walk, my arms swaying slightly at my sides and my hair out of it's bun, tumbling down my shoulders and back in light brown waves. It's a camouflage, a mask for what I'm feeling inside. Nervousness, rage and bouts of anxiety bubble in my blood, swirling around my body with it's heated mess of emotions.

I can sense that Rido is close, my connection can tell me that much, but I don't know how close or it what form he'll be in. He may have taken the body of someone else, like he did at the party, or he'll come as himself, which seems so unlikely. What happened ten years ago left him weak and he had only just summoned enough strength to come after me. After that, he was left quite weak once more but it seems he's recovered quickly. Too quickly, in my opinion.

Throwing on my coat, I sneak out of the dorm with a permeant urge to look over my shoulder, my uneasiness now oozing out of me like a deadly aura that won't go away. My instincts are heightened in my fear, making every small snap of a twig or ruffle of a bush so much more significant than it should be. I have to say, when I make it to the rooftop where Kaname said for us to meet when the time came, I was a little more than anxious.

"He's close," I announced as I approached, my heels clicking against the concrete ground. "I can feel it, i-it's...it's like when you get a bad feeling but much worse. To the point where I feel like I'm going to be sick. I'm guessing that's what that feeling means anyway."

"It does," Kaname replied, in a calmer tone than I would have expected. "You're afraid, aren't you? Of what will happen?"

Shivering in the cold, I stand beside him, staring out into the black, never ending darkness that is night. The sky seems to have opened up slightly, giving me the impression that it's going to snow. It's quite unfortunate really. Snow is so easily stained with the red taint of blood.

"Of course I am," I said gravely, watching my breath turn to steam as it makes contact with the air. "I'm not going to pretend that I'm some honourable warrior who has no fear. I think it's pointless. It's fear that drives us to do most things, so what's the use of disregarding it?"

"A fair point, I must say," He said, his voice sounding as if it had no emotion, as if it was just a voice and nothing else. "But if you have such fear, how do you know you won't crack under pressure?"

"I'm not saying I won't. I'm not saying I will either. Fear is the kind of thing that can rule you, dominate you're very move, or can have no effect at all. I usually find myself on the in-between. Terrified on the inside but calm on the exterior. Unfortunately...I don't think that's going to happen tonight."

"And why is that?"

Shivering again, and this time it's not because of the cold, I clench my jaw tight and close my eyes to try and stop myself from breaking out into angry tears.

"Because I don't know if I'll even be myself at the end of this night. Or the night after. Or whenever...whenever _he_ takes me."

Almost as soon as the words are out of my mouth, my feeling of uneasiness reaches it's highest level and I almost choke on my own words. My head instantly hurts and I feel as if I could throw up here and now.

"You know, it terrifies me to call you my nephew. After the last time we met ten years ago, I feel rather hurt at what you did."

_Rido_. I instinctively turn my head, my breath catching in my throat at the sight of my so called 'master'. I was right when I suspected he would come in another's body but as I gaze upon Shiki's red-brown hair and gorgeous looks, I'm not seeing Shiki at all. It's the eyes that set it off, those mismatched eyes of sea blue and crimson red that make it all fit together. Even if his voice and face is not the same, I will _always_ recognise those eyes.

"That day was the day you turned my body into a shapeless, disintegrated being, which took ten slow years to recover," Rido said, reminiscing it just like Zali and I did back in the dorm kitchen. As if it were something happy and goo to remember. "I really don't know how I managed to find the strength to turn my little witch when I did but I'll say, the pain is worth it. I can feel the power radiating from her already."

"I'm not your pet," I hissed, struggling to control my rage. "Do what you want with me. Just give me the option to kill myself first."

"Oh but you'd never do that," Rido chuckled sadistically, the grin decorating his stolen face appearing genuinely evil. "You're far too proud for that. You see, I know you better than you'd think, witch. And I will have your blood. All of it if necessary."

"Oh really?" I said blankly, staring back out into the darkness. "Then you wouldn't have access to this."

Focusing my emotions, I summon flames to my left hand, the fire igniting my hand as I raise it to my face. It flickers and burns, radiating it's heat onto my face but only tingling my palm and fingers as it stays alight. I can almost see the delight light up in Rido's eyes as he sees the flame.

"Well, you have been busy, haven't you? Now I don't have to teach as many tricks as I thought. It seems a lot has happened in the last ten years, hasn't it Kaname? My fiancé, Shizuka, disappeared thankfully. She was not as obedient as I had hoped she'd be. I'm quite glad she's gone."

Kaname's mouth twitches slightly and even by his expression, I can tell he's angry. _Beyond_ angry, actually. "Very good," He said blankly, retaining his emotionless voice. "You haven't changed a bit. I'm so relieved, _Uncle_. At least now, I don't have to hesitate to kill you."

That was all the signal I needed as I force my powers outwards, my flames mixing with the broken shards of concrete that fly toward Rido caused by Kaname. We had both experienced that rush of anger, I guess, enough of it to make us want to hurt Rido and hurt him badly. But somewhere, in the back of my mind, I can tell it would never be enough.

But unfortunately, I never get the chance to test that theory as Takuma jumps in front of Rido, almost reluctantly but not quite. Kaname has complete control over his powers as the shards stop inches from Takuma but I simply veer mine away and let them burn out, my depleted energy levels contributing to my lack of control.

"I'm sorry," Takuma said, fastening his gaze to Kaname's. "But I won't let you hurt Shiki. I won't let him be a victim of this feud."

"So...you're on the Council's side for this?" Kaname said, more as a statement than a question.

Takuma bows his head, not happy with the result of this fight. "Yes...I guess you could put it that way."

Rido laughs, pushing Takuma out of the way with hardly any fear on his face. "Don't worry. They're not serious. Kaname knows that destroying this body won't do anything to me and Victoria is not a threat in her current state. Witches suffer from fatigue after using their powers; the only downfall they have."

Even if I have trouble standing and the world spins before my eyes, I still manage to glare at him as I try to regain myself. "So be it," I hissed. "At least I tried."

"So Kaname," Rido continued. "Has that child awaken from her daze? I'm sure that her true nature would have torn her to pieces by now, considering you left her in the dark."

The force of Kaname's anger hits me hard, leaving me wincing in pain. I shouldn't have stood so close; a Pureblood's anger is something I obviously can't handle like this. Looking back over his shoulder, Kaname responds with the most emotion I've ever heard from him at all and, stunningly, it scares me.

"Rido..." He began, the tone of his voice giving it the quality of a growl. "Don't ever think that a lowlife such as you could _ever_ touch her!"

In a rush of freezing wind, Kaname is gone, gone to do what must be done in order for Yuki to be safe. I smile at the darkness, the first flakes of snow drifting from the open sky. I can feel them settling in my hair and on my cheeks, giving me the numb, painless feeling of burning cold. I feel both terrified for what is to come and relieved for what will never come to pass. It's a strange feeling, a feeling that is only ever present in certain situations. It's a feeling I have felt before.

"Within...and without," I whispered, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Well," Rido said. "It seems Kaname isn't going to protect you after all. Maybe you should have thought twice before put your trust in him, little witch."

"'_They were careless people, Tom and Daisy,_" I replied, shivering in the wind. "'_They smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made_.' Sound familiar Rido?"

"F. Scott Fitzgerald. 'The Great Gatsby'. A tasteless novel, written by a drunk of a man who's poetry was worse than his taste in liquor, I imagine."

I laughed softly, running a hand through my tangled hair. "You don't see it don't you? Fitzgerald seems to have described not only Tom and Daisy and Capitalists in general, but Purebloods as well, it seems. What a mess the Kurans has made of your vampire society. What a scandal. And here you are, intending to make a mess again after the last had only recently been resolved. How very rude and inconsiderate of you. How maddening as well."

Wrapping my arms around myself, I go on, determined to talk my way out of fear. "It's strange, isn't it? How the works of fiction can so readily describe the...the _curses_ of reality. It's so strange and yet...so enchanting as well."

I shiver yet again, this time at the feeling of Rido's presence which becomes nearly unbearable as he stands beside me. "I didn't think you'd come so easily. I expected at least a fight."

"Fighting is for the energised and proud," I said. "But I am tired and in no way proud of who I am. I accepted this long ago. I just couldn't see that when I needed to."

As the last words slip from my mouth, I have the sense of being pulled under, into the depths of unconsciousness. The snow turns to black flecks of ash before my eyes and then I'm gone. I don't recall falling but I also don't recall staying standing. I don't recall any of that. It's like the blackness clouded my recent memories like ash coating a charred and crumbling home in a blackened burnt forest. There's hardly anything left.

All I know for sure is that when I wake up, I will not longer be the girl I had taught myself to be. No...I'll be something of _his_ creation, something used for _his_ benefit. I won't be Tori anymore, I'll be something else, something far more vile.

I'll be the monster he wants me to be and nothing else.

* * *

**And things shall only become more tense as this story goes on. *evil laugh coinciding with the drinking of tea* **

**I feel like the last portion of this chapter was about philosophy. Probably was. Oh well, I was feeling poetic, sue me. **

**_Imncake_: Nope, doesn't make you weird. At least someone is enjoying Tori's pain as well :P.**

**_I'mNotYourAverageItalianChick_: Omg, that review literally made me the happiest person in the world :D. I'm glad you think so highly of my writing abilities! And John Green is amazing. The Fault in Our Stars was one of the only books to ever make me cry, (Augustus Waters is my boo.)**

**Now, I'm doing this of my own accord because I think this person deserves a mention but could you all do me a favour and check out 'More Than Human' by Saphizcool? Her story is amazing and deserves far more reviews, follows and favourites than it already has. **

**Okay, so...do I have anything else to say...? Oh yeah, question. Forgot about that. Just a simple one today, so...how is everyone enjoying this story so far? Lame question, I know but answer it if you wish. **

**Read, Review, ask questions if you want and wait patiently for the next chapter. **

**I shall now go back to evilly drinking tea whilst worrying about the fact that my school holidays is going to end soon. -HL**


	26. From Dusk till Dawn

Chapter 25:

From Dusk till Dawn

* * *

**Zali**

* * *

It was the darkness from Tori's side of the bond that first gave me the warning that she was gone. It wasn't the kind of darkness that meant she was unconscious, asleep or dead. It was the kind that told me she just wasn't there, wasn't _her_ anymore. The second warning was the block that I could not get past, the block that allowed me to look deeper into her mind, to see through her eyes and learn her deepest fears. It was as if a curtain of blackness had just been drawn over that part of her mind and hidden it from me in a stupid, frustrating way. But in the end, I didn't need much more proof that she was gone and so I slipped back into myself, forcing up the barrier between her and I.

The more reasonable part of me was screaming at me to go after her, to find her and make her alright like she did to me. And I'm sure I would have, had her stupid, reckless promise not stopped me from leaving every time I went for my door. It was sunrise by the time I finally gave up entirely on her, gave up on the idea of caring about her at all. It was too much effort, too much energy wasted on my sister and I wished I could have taken it back. But then again, I don't as well. They're contradictory thoughts and they bother me to no end.

I hear a frantic knock at my door not long after I come to my slightly undecided conclusion, a knock that I most likely _would have_ answered, had it not been for my tired and ever so slightly emotion self.

"Go away!" I yelled, pushing my back harder against the door to try and stop whoever it was from barging in. "Leave me alone! Whatever it is, I don't care!"

"Zali, let me in!" Adelaide's voice boomed through the door. "Is Tori in there with you?!"

"No, she isn't and you'll do well to forget her," I said, not even sure if she heard me.

"Now is not the time for your little feud to show through, Zali. Now open up!"

In a split second, and rather stupidly reasoned, descision, I turn around and yank open my door, staring up at Adelaide with watery eyes. "What do you want?!"

Adelaide stared open-mouthed at me as I clench my hands into tight fists and look down at the ground under my feet. I'm somewhat shaking with rage and fear but also the sadness that has pierced my heart like an icy sword. How dare she? How dare Tori hold me to such a promise? I never fully acknowledged how much to needed her, how much she meant to me. Maybe because I was too filled with petty, childish anger over how our parents treated me and needed someone to blame or maybe it was just something I had grown to do. But now, I want her back. Safe, sound and completely herself. But that will never happen. Not after what I promised her.

"She's gone," I whimpered, sinking into Adelaide's arms as she kneels down and pulls me close. "He took her and he...he _changed_ her. Made her everything she isn't, made her everything she hates. She's _his_ now and no one can get her back."

"It's not safe for you here," Adelaide said, her voice shaking slightly. "You may be strong but you're still a child. And if Tori's dead-"

"_She's not dead!_" I yelled, pounding on Adelaide's chest at the mere mentioning of those words. "You don't understand. She's just trapped inside her own body, not dead! You don't understand, you don't understand..."

"Okay, okay, shhh," She cooed, lightly stroking my hair in an attempt to calm me down. "That doesn't change anything. You still have to leave, Level Es are crawling all over this place."

"I can't leave. Not without trying to bring Tori back."

"Baby girl, you can't. I'm sorry but-"

"But..._what_, dear Adelaide?"

That voice...so familiar and yet to utterly unfamiliar at the same time. I'd know it anywhere but then again I wouldn't have thought anything of it had she been talking to someone else. Lifting my head from Adelaide's shoulder, I stare up at my older sister, who has both changed hardly at all and quite drastically. Her clothes are covered in blood, especially down her front, and her mouth it stained with dry red blood that I know is most definitely not hers. Her eyes shine gold, an enchanted gold that looks nothing like her usual stormy gray-blue eyes. Her smile is no longer kind and welcoming but cruel and fierce, with fangs showing and a sadistic laugh in her throat.

Adelaide slowly stands and turns, shielding me with her body. I can tell she's just as shaken, as Tori spent more time with her than me and Adelaide got to know her as I did. It's just as frightening to see Tori this way for her as it is for me.

"What?" Tori said, taking a bold step forward. "Afraid I'm going to attack my dear little sister? I'll tell you right now, it'd be a waste. Power like hers, well...my master has use for them. Why would I kill her when she's a weapon, just like me?"

Adelaide backs away, pushing me back with her. "Stay away from her," She hissed, her hand going to the dagger strapped to her side. "I won't kill you Tori, you know I can't, so leave us be."

"I've already explained why I won't leave," Tori said, stopping a good three metres from my only defence. "Step aside and I might just spare you. _Might. _I have little patience for people who don't cooperate."

"And I have little patience for vampires!" Adelaide exclaimed, nudging me back against the wall.

I'd been paying so much attention to Tori and Adelaide that I hadn't quite noticed where she had backed me up into my room. But as my back hit the window ledge and I mumbled a string of curses at the forceful impact, I begin to see her plan unfold.

"Funny hearing that come from _you_," Tori said, holding up a hand that quickly becomes engulfed in flame. "After all, you are protecting one and you didn't seem to have a problem with it when I first came here."

I can hear Adelaide's heart pound and her breathing quicken, her voice cracking as she replies. "You were different then. You were yourself then."

"Oh?" Tori takes another step forward, Adelaide's body pressing harder against mine. "And what if I'm still me but you just can't see it?"

"I already know the answer to that," Adelaide sneered. "And it's an obvious 'no'."

Adelaide saw the fireball hurling towards us before even I, turning quickly and yanking me down into a crouch as just the searing heat of the flame near kissed my cheek. The sound of glass shattered filled my ears and a small sprinkling of glass landed in my hair. Before I could fully grasp the situation that was unfolding around me, I was being yanked up from the ground and pushed out the broken window. The shards of glass cut into my hands as I perched on the edge for a mere second, only to pushed off forcibly by Adelaide.

Weightlessness captures me as I fall but gravity quickly hits me as I slam into the ground, surprised to feel nothing break at all. But it still hurt nonethless and I had to take a minute to push myself to my feet. My right shoulder ached badly, as it absorbed most of the impact of the fall, and throbbed with an intense pain that turned sharp whenever I put weight on it. The rest of my right side simply ached with a numb pins-and-needles effect but I quickly pushed through that as I stand on my two feet.

The sounds of fighting escape from my bedroom window and it's not long before I see Adelaide jump from the window for escape, her left shoulder torn and bloodied and her black shirt near ripped to shreds. She lands on her feet, crying out in pain as the impact of the landing sends shock waves through her body like ripples in water, but she quickly regains balance and runs to me at a surprising speed.

"Zali, I want you to go to the front of the school," She said quickly and carefully, making sure that I understand every word. "Find Kaien and Yagari. Tell them I'll be there soon but I got held up. Tell them to alert my brothers and to get them here, do you understand?"

Despite my urge to beg her to come with me, I know that retreating isn't an option, at least not with Adelaide. A fierce determination has lit up in her eyes and I believe in that determination, that will to live and strive. She'll make it out, I know she will. She's a vampire hunter, this is what they do. But that unyielding, torrent of a thought lingers in my mind, haunting me with every turn. Adelaide has never faced anything like Tori before. How can I know for sure she'll live? I have an answer faster than I knew I could think. I _don't_ know.

Slowly, I nod my head in understanding before swivelling on my heel and taking off in full sprint. I hear Tori's enraged screaming and the sound of a battle resume but I ignore it, focusing on the air I force into my lungs and the burn of the concrete under my bare feet. I run as fast as I can, my numbed right side and aching shoulder only proving to slow me down in the long haul. But as much as I want to stop, I don't, pushing past the pain and sprinting even harder. That, of course, was before I ran into my first Level E.

She was young, blonde and of average height. She had the looks of a model and the thin, lanky frame as well that was fitted in a short white cocktail dress that was covered in splotched of dried blood. She smiled when she saw me. It was the same smile that Tori had just pulled back in my room; cruel, distant and brutal, the smile of a predator who has caught their prey. She never said anything, not a word. She just attacked.

Lunging my hair, the woman was like a cat as she zipped through the air, giving me only a split second to use my lesser height to my advantage and swerve out of her way. It works, but only for a second, as the woman changes course and rams into me, knocking me off my feet and pinning me to the ground. Terrified but focused, I shove myself into her mind and reek havoc, causing her as much pain as my already exhausted body can muster.

It works, as the woman jerks back screaming and writhing from the excruciating pain that I manage to have caused her. I scramble way from her, only just managing to get to my feet before another one of them appears. A man in his forties, with dark brown hair and fiery red eyes grabs me by the collar of my shirt and lifts me off the ground before hurtling me back into the ground. Something inside me snaps and I groan, coughing up what taste like blood. My mind spins and so does the world around me, dizziness and nausea gripping me hard as I try to push myself up.

"That...all you got?" I coughed, locking eyes with the Level E. I have no energy to make him hurt and no power to shove him back with energy but at least my taunt seemed to have pissed him off.

Yanking me up by my neck, the Level E snarls at me like an enraged predator, squeezing my throat so tight that I was sure he'd snap my neck if he held me any tighter. Thinking I was going to die, I steeled myself for the end, closing my eyes and clenching my teeth, begging for it to come quickly and swiftly with no pain at all. But it doesn't. Only the pain of landing on the ground once more, _does_.

"Zali!" Yuki exclaimed as I opened my eyes, wiping the blood from my mouth with the back of my hand. "What happened? Where's Tori?!"

Through my injured and wrecked state, I manage to give one decent piece of advise, the kind I'll only ever give out in life-threatening situations that will most likely turn out to be the cause of my ultimate death. It's short, brief and extremely crucial in that point in time.

"Run."

The sound of a neck snapping ripples through the air, sending shivers down my spine and a gasp from Yuki's mouth. I turn my head to see Tori, who has been quite horribly wounded, drink savagely from a Level E, with her hand covering the vampire's mouth and her arm wrapped around it's body to keep it still.

"So," She panted as she finished, the Level E disintegrating to dust in her arms. "You thought you could run, huh kid? Well guess what? You just led me straight to my other target. The more..._valuable_ one, that is."

Yuki stands frozen in shock as she stares at Tori, while Hanabusa, who had been standing guard behind Yuki, seems to be at a loss for words. I, luckily, am already accustomed to my sister's broken form and can snap back with as much bitterness and hateful energy as I like.

"Your _head_ is also valuable, Victoria," I growled, pushing myself to my feet. "But I'm sure you'll lose that eventually."

"Oh, that burns," Tori replied, giving me a faked look of hurt of her bloody face. "But I'll tell you what..._this_ will burn more."

Fire spontaneously combusts beside Tori, taking the shape of a person as it waits for orders. With a flick of Tori's wrist, it's on us, only just being contained by Hanabusa's ice as I snatch Yuki's hand and pull her in the direction of the school.

"Come on!" I yelled. "There's no time to fight her! She's too strong!"

_Am I? How thoughtful of you, sister. Too bad I'll have to put out your lights for a little bit. You've caused me too much pain already and I have business to finish. Good night, little witch. _

Quickly and sudden, my eyelids drop and I tumble down into the dark recesses of unconsciousness, too surprised to fight back against my sister's sudden attack...

* * *

**Tori **

* * *

Putting my sister to sleep seemed like the only option left after she ran off with the Kuran Princess. She was too wild and stubborn, too endlessly disobedient that she had to be neutralised, at least for the remainder of this rather pathetic battle.

My, so called, aunt had been quite a challenge and she had fought bravely and honourably. But my boredom was spiked as she grew tired, like most mortals do, and so I left her to die herself, fallen in a pool of her own blood with only few seconds left to live. Unfortunately, her vampire hunter weapons had done some significant damage to my body and so a sacrifice was made. The death of one pathetic and insignificant soldier was justified as I sank my teeth into her neck and drank. She would be of no use anyway. I _am. _

Avoiding Hanabusa's annoying attacks, I make my way back to Rido, dreading the fact that I let the Princess slip through my fingers like water through a drain. It was pathetic and stupid and I knew I would be punished for it. The method of punishment was unknown but I knew it was coming, nonetheless.

"They're after you," He chuckled as I approached, blood caking my mouth and clothes and giving off a sickly sweet sense. "You seemed to have caused quite a stir, witch."

"People are attached to others," I sighed. "And it seems they were attached to _her_."

"Hm...so you're referring to you former self as _her_ now?"

"Yes. It seemed fitting."

Rido shakes his head and chuckles again, his dark hair blowing softly in the wind. "I'm assuming you didn't get the Princess."

"No, master," I said sorrowfully, bowing my head and turning my gaze to the ground beneath my feet.

The roof top seemed like a good position at the time, as you could see most of the fighting from a distance but as I stared down at my feet, catching half a glimpse of the ground five stories down, I started to feel a little dizzy and regretful of my decision.

Rido sighed, pulling me closer and tilting my head to the side, exposing my bloodied neck. The blood of the Level E had healed most of my injuries without much pain but it seems that healing the injuries didn't take away the blood that has been caked onto my skin, soaked into my clothes and dried under my fingernails. My neck seems to have faired no better than any other part of me, as the sweet red substance is still quite fresh on my neck thanks to an open wound that Hanabusa must have caused.

"No matter," Rido said, his breath feeling warm against my neck. "She'll follow you, just as she should and then we'll have her. _Now_...I find myself in need of your blood. Be a good little witch and keep quiet as I drink."

I brace myself for the stinging pain as Rido sinks his fangs into my bruised and bloodied skin, the small sting quickly becoming overtaken by the intense rush of endorphins that spread through my blood within seconds. It's unbelievably good and I can't help but moan at the feeling, every sense I possess going wild as colours and sparks burst before my eyes. But just as quickly as the high was created, it slips away as Rido pulls back, a gasp escaping my mouth as I stumble to regain my footing.

"I will never cease to enjoy that," He sighed, wiping my blood from his mouth. "And from the sound of it, neither do you."

I try to respond but my reply is cut off by the sound of running along the tiles of the roof. I instantly know who it is, regardless of her scent or her presence. The Princess runs over to us, Artemis grasped firmly in her hands, as my annoyance of a little sister follows her. Zali seems to have recovered from my little attack, far quicker than I imagine. I'd try to do it again but even from here, I know her mind is locked and sealed like a high-security prison.

"So energetic," Rido said, walking past me toward the Princess. "I wonder what you taste like then."

"So...you must be Rido," The Princess replied, staring fearlessly into my master's eyes. "Those eyes...they look so menacing..."

_Enjoying yourself? _Zali's tasteless voice filled my head, engaging in a silent conversation of the minds. _Trust me, you won't enjoy this for long. _

_Oh really, sister? _Isaid sarcastically in response. _And who's going to stop me from enjoying this then? You? _

_No. Not me, _she said, staring back at me with those piercing blue eyes that I cannot help but mesmerise. They seem so familiar and yet so unfamiliar at the same time. Like some one else bore them at a time and it wasn't her.

A fight ensues between the Kurans but Zali and I have no part of it, as we engage in our own battle. Leaping forward, I try for her hair but she goes low, sliding down underneath my legs and taking my legs out from under me. I hiss in frustration, trying to get up far too late as she digs her knees into my chest and places her dagger against my neck.

Luckily, I'm far too strong for her, as I easily fling her to the side and scramble to my feet. My head still spins from my blood loss but I can still see relatively straight and I don't seem to have lost any power in the process.

Frustrated, I shove myself back into her mind and growl a question I know she wants me to ask. _Who then, Zali? Who, pray tell, will ruin it all for me? _

The reply was quick and easy but the result was not. _My blood. My blood is what will save you. _

All at once, a rush of power and energy rippled through the air as a mass of thorns crashes into the side of the building. The sheer amount of power being used nearly knocks Zali and I over, flames flickering at my fingertips as I absorb the impact. I could only guess who this was and, fortunately, I guessed right.

"I was wondering when you would have showed up," I said to Zero as he appeared from the mass of thorns. "You're a bit late for the party, darling."

Zero's piercing violet eyes settled on me, his expression showing hardly any surprise at what I had become. No, there was no surprise there...but there was _hurt_. It seemed as if Zero still wished to hold on to that part of myself that was locked away, deep in the parts of my mind that no longer matter. It was cute, to say the least but I had no time to marvel such things.

"Step aside," He said to me, no emotion present in his voice, although I can hear him holding back his pain. "Let me have my prey."

I can't help but smile about his innocence, the murderous look on his face hardly phasing me nor Rido. The Bloody Rose may be formidable and fierce but a pissed-off and rather tired witch is even more deadly. Flames flicker at my fingertips as I let the fire spread, engulfing my body in the tingling sensation as the fire completely consumes me.

"I've always thought that torns were weeds," I said. "Maybe it's time to exterminate."

Summoning as much power as my body can I handle, I force the fire forward, directly into Zero's path. With his mass amount of thorns, there's no way that he can dodge my attack quickly enough and so, he's left a sitting duck. Or at least I thought. Thorns burst out from underneath me, tangling and intertwining themselves around my body, only to catch fire as soon as they get near. It surprised me, but didn't do much damage, as I thrash and kick them away.

"That all you can do?!" I yelled, feeling fatigue grip my muscles as I let the fire surrounding me die out. "If you were half as powerful as you thought you were, I might actually be hurt by now."

There was a blur of movement that I spotted out of the corner out of my eye, movement that was far too fast to see clearly. I would have cursed myself for not noticing it earlier and I'm sure I would have, had I not been comsumed by horrible pain, pain that I knew could only come from Zali. There was no fighting against that kind of agony. That's how it was designed to be; crippling and brutal, vicious and savage. It's a little unfair as well but it was a well played trick, I'll give her that.

The blur of movement rushes past me, yanking back my head and holding her wrist over my open mouth. Blood trickles from her wrist into my mouth and I panic inwardly, trying my best to thrash about but I am only awarded with more pain as I move. I know it's far too late to spit out her blood now and I have no control over what comes next.

Memories pour through the gaps in my mind, filling the certain parts of my memory and personality that were altered so heavily by Rido at the command of his voice. I feel like I should fight against the torrent of memories that have been shoved into my mind but I also feel like I shouldn't.

_Within and without._

Those words...so horribly true and horribly wrong...annoying...

_Within and without. _

What am I? I'm not human but I'm not fully a vampire nor fully a witch. I'm all of them at once and none of them at all.

_You are within and without._

I am...within...and without.

_Within and without. _

No, no I'm more than that. I...I'm a killer, that's what I am. A murderer. An executioner. And there's only one person I wish to kill, execute and murder more than anyone in this godforsaken world.

_Rido..._

* * *

**Can't say anything, sorry. This'll be extremely quick because no. 1, I'm running on borrowed wifi and no. 2, I've got the second part of this battle to write. Also, no. 3, I have a massive headache and I need a break for a bit.**

**I'll talk and whatnot next chapter but for now, Read, Review and wait patiently for the next chapter. -HL**


	27. Elegant Death

Chapter 26:

Elegant Death

* * *

Despair, is contagious in all forms. It spreads like a famine, breaking down one's body until it is nothing but bare bones and leaving it to suffer out it's now short, insignificant existence. It's a harsh fact but it's all too true when it comes to emotions such as despair. Rage, on the other hand, is an entirely different matter.

The air ripples with shock waves as I scream, my once golden eyes flaring with fury as I pull myself to my feet. There is no fear, no hesitation, no underlying regret in me as I lunge at Rido, catching him by surprise as I shove him off the edge of the building with enough force to break a man in half. He growls in anger as he falls, a spider web of cracks appearing under his feet as he lands. Everything about him; his subtle gracefulness, sadistic charm, foreboding eyes, it all makes me sick to the stomach with the reminder of what he made me. He'll pay for what he did. He'll pay for what he did to me, Zali, Zero, and my family. He'll pay...oh he'll pay.

"Leave him be," I hissed at Zero, crouching down on the edge of the roof as I stare down at my target. "He's mine, no one else's. Harm him all you want but I get to deal the final blow."

"Why?" Zero snapped in return, his eyes full of suspicion as he watches me. "You're not who I remember-"

"I don't have to be!" I yelled, digging my nails into the tiles. "All I need is the statism action of having killed the man who ruined me and my family. I _will not_ let anyone get in my way and I will strike anyone who does."

With no more threats left to say, I launch myself into the air, weightlessness engulfing me for a second before I hit the ground painfully hard, cracks appearing in the concrete of the pavement. I see the blood tentacles before I even lift my head, each of them flicking and coiling like snakes as they attempt to wrap around my arms and legs. I yank at them hard, pulling out the dagger in my boot and hacking at them with speed and varying precision. Growing tired of them, I duck out of the way and sprint toward the Pureblood, only to be blocked by a wall of thorns that bursts from the ground.

Frustration rolls off my tongue with a string of curses, fire engulfing my body as I burn away the thorns. I have no time to argue with Zero, nor do I have time to fight him. Rido destroyed everything I knew and made me into a monster of a being, destroying what I feel like was the last of my sanity. _I_ will be the one to slice his head from his body and _I_ will be the one to watch him fade into nothingness. _Only_ me...I deserve that much, don't I?

Rido reaches through the burnt and crumbling thorns, catching me around the neck and pulling me to him. I kick and thrash, grunting with effort, but I'm no match for the strength of a Pureblood and his mind is too barricaded for me to cause him agony. I try to summon fire once more but as Rido's grip on my neck tightens, I lose the oxygen I need and my vision begins to blur.

"If you won't be a faithful little witch, like I asked, I'll have your blood and drain you for all you're worth," He growled, snapping my neck to the side painfully hard and exposing my neck to him.

It's not long before I feel his fangs sink into my bruised neck, draining the last of my precious blood as my vision becomes blacker and blacker. I feel a slight tingling sensation in the back of my mind, as if I could reach toward it and activate something life-saving. With nothing left to lose, I reach for it, stumbling around in the dark of my mind before I grasp onto it tight and firmly. And then, everything just goes white with energy.

Flashes and images coat the backs of my closed eyelids, images of fire, blood and death along with the occasional woman with identical brown hair to mine and stormy blue eyes that match my own. She flashes before my eyes in many different times, from wars to cities, hellish places of fire and ash to utopias of light and life. She changes only slightly every now and then; a slight height distance here, a different face shape there, but they all possess the same eyes and hair as me, though they may be different women. I see my mother before my eyes just before the white light vanishes, her kind smile making my heart ache for her comfort, her warmth and her happiness. But then she's gone, replaced by a surge of unthinkable power that I didn't know I possessed.

My eyes snap open and, using the strength of my newfound power, I rip Rido from my neck, swinging him up over my shoulder and slamming him into the ground. The impact sends shock waves through the ground and I almost stumble but I'm too hyped up on energy and power that I barely notice them as I pull Rido to his knees.

"It's not my blood that will be drained today," I snarled, grabbing a fistful of his hair and yanking his head to the side, exposing his neck to me. "It's yours."

My teeth are in his neck before he can pry me away, drinking on his vile blood withour hesitation or regret. This is what I need, what I need to survive. I will take what I need, even if some sacrifice must come with it. It's survival of the fittest, a fight to survive. This world is so cruel, so unfair, that it can only be that way. I fear for my sister, for Zero, for Yuki, for us all, as we all live in this world where only the savage and cruel make it out alive, whilst the kind-hearted and honest are left to die in pain. _So pitiful... _

Memories of Rido's life flash before my eyes in waves, none of them formulating in my mind to create proper pictures but all of them leading to one destination. _Juri_. Even if Rido is a monster, he still loved like any other. He adored her, wished for her to be his. He would have done anything, just as long as Juri Kuran ended up in his arms and not his brother's. But he was too possessive, too desperate, and so he slipped into the depths of temptation and scheming, torture and murder. That was all he was now. A killing machine with no 'off' switch.

Unable to bare his blood anymore, I pull away, panting and gasping for breath. My senses still sing and my blood still hum with heavenly power but I am not distracted as I dig my fingers into Rido's scalp.

Harper Lee once wrote that you never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it. Well, I have walked around in far too many shoes and see too many points for views. I have seen too many tragedies and too many scars. All of them brutal and all of them grotesque but there is a certain elegance to them that cannot be denied. No matter the method, death will always remain to be elegant. Even if those who fall into Death's clutches are less than that.

With one clean swipe, I rip his head from his shoulders, feeling almost nothing as he cracks and crumbles through the air. I feel him die but I pay no attention, as one thought crystallises in my mind. It's over. There's nothing more to fear. He's gone. So why am I...still afraid?

Crumbling down to my knees, I sob, trying my hardest to cry for something meaningful this time around but the tears stay far away, locked in the back of my mind, trapped along with the last of my notable sanity. I do not feel stable. I do not feel strong. I don't even feel weak. I feel nothing. _Nothing! _And I suppose, as I knelt there feeling Yuki and Zero's heated gazes burning into the back of my head, I had a right to feel nothing. I had wasted enough energy and emotions on that monster of a man. Why should I feel anything from his death now?

Despite my tired muscles and weakened composure, I still hear the distinctive click of the safety on Zero's gun and I prepare for the bullet that comes with it but strangely, I do not feel the cool metal of the Bloody Rose presses against my head. Instead, as I look up, I see his gun pointed expressly, at Yuki.

At first, I thought nothing of it. This was a feud between them, not me. I had no part in it at all and so I would not interfere. It was the rational part of me that said that, the rational part that did it's best to convince me that if I let Yuki die, it wouldn't be to bad of a deal. But every other part of myself was screaming, begging and yelling for me to stand between them. I'm their friend, after all. Shouldn't I protect them, even from themselves?

Luckily, I do not have to deal with the burden of choosing between friends. As Kaname blows in with the wind, standing between the two, I already know who I have chosen.

"Zero..." Kaname said, his voice slicing through the air like a dagger through flesh. "You may have solved some...troublesome matters for me...but I cannot forgive you for this matter."

I know what Kaname's intent is and I know what will happen if I remain here. I long to help Zero, to push Kaname away and protect the person I love most. But something holds me to the ground, like a force that's been pushed down onto my shoulders and holds me there despite my efforts to escape.

I see Zero's thorns wrap around Kaname, drawing blood that makes my head hurt to smell. I can see the determined look in Zero's eye, the look of a man with nothing left to lose. He wants to die, just as I, and he wants to bring the two Purebloods down with him. But as I watch Kaname, his face decorated with guarded anger, I know that he will not achieve this. No...it would be too simple if he could.

"You dared to point your gun at her," Kaname continued, gathering the thorns in his hand around his neck, increasing the sickly sweet smell of his blood. "And even if you had no intentions of killing her, I still cannot forgive what you have done. Bloody Rose...have you recognised my blood yet?"

The vines restraining Kaname seems to be and flow with the sound of his voice, something I doubt is within Zero's control. I remember Kaname's memories, how he forged both Artemis and Bloody Rose before any of the other weapons. I remember how he has control over that accursed gun and how he could bend it to his will. At that memory, the force that had been holding me down, disappears.

As Kaname materialises a sword of his own blood and Zero stands as an open target, I dart forward, forcing the energy that hums in my veins outwards and into the air. A shockwave of energy blasts the two men back, leaving me gasping and clawing for the energy I need to even stand. That had taken too much of my energy and I wish it hadn't, as I try to stand tall and stare at Kaname with as much hate as my exhausted being can handle.

"You lay a hand to him," I said, still taking deep breaths to take in air. "And I will make sure that you lose the hand that drew blood from him, _Kuran_."

Kaname's somewhat softens from rage to annoyance, his mouth set in a frown. "Step aside, Victoria. I do not need you interfering in such a thing."

"How dare you..." I muttered. "How dare you order me around like I'm some common pawn. Do you think I'll do as you ask, Kaname? After you threat to murder the man I love? How careless of you to act in a such a way."

"Victoria-"

"_Don't_ say my name," I hissed, taking a step toward him as my anger cause flames to engulf my hands. "It sounds as if you are talking to a child but I am not a child. I am not weak nor am I an idiot enough to trust you. This world has already been torn apart by us, witches and Purebloods, hunters and vampires. Isn't this enough? Isn't countless deaths over many years enough to tell you that the world was not designed for us? Do us all a favour, Kuran, and...let these feuds die out for once."

Kaname's gaze, once more, softens. He seems to understand my premise, my desire for something other than this savage world but his eyes tell me it will never happen, not at all, not in a million years. I guess it's too much to ask for, as people never change, so why would vampires do what others can't? They are trapped by the lazy energy that binds us all, the lazy energy that makes us all cling to old ways. _How stupid... _

_'There are just some kind of men…who're so busy worrying about the next world they've never learned to live in this one.' _Harper Lee was right in so many ways, not just about the many aspects of prejudice, racism and ignorance that plagued her town as a child, but about the ways that people see the world. I see the world for all it's poetic injustice and harsh realities but it's beauty as well. Yuki sees the beauty and forgets the ugliness, guarding herself from the truth that is nasty and stained with blood. Zero is the opposite; he sees only the ugliness and forgets all beauty, ignoring the wonders the world can provide.

But Kaname...he doesn't see this world at all. He's too caught up in how he wants his next world to be, that he doesn't see what's right in front of his eyes.

* * *

I could not help but hide away once all was done and finished. Kaname and I left Yuki and Zero to say their goodbyes, whilst I was left wondering what I would do now. Zali was being patched up at the Association, as was Adelaide, even though I feared I had killed her. She was battered and bruised when I had checked up on her before Yagari took her away, her eyes screwed shut in pain as she clung to him for support.

"I'm so sorry," I had said, wrapping my arms around myself before running away to hide from the world.

I couldn't bare it anymore. I couldn't bare the thoughts and memories that kept creeping back into my mind as I struggled to force them down. But they were like a tidal wave, nothing could ever stop them, no matter who or what tries to do so.

I stumble into the forest with tears finally falling, streaming down my face at an incredibly fast rate. I fall to my knees as I cry, throwing up whatever remained in my stomach despite my mind's protest. I can only guess it's a consequence, a consequence for using so much power at one time and not thinking of what it could do to me. I didn't really have time to think, so I let go of the matter quickly, before pulling myself to my feet and continuing to run.

It's one of those times where I just need to run, run far, far away where no one will find me or need me. Things would be better that way, considering I only ever bring problems with me or become the problem. It's a sickening, endless cycle and it's never going to stop. I can pray and I can hope, but it'll always be that way.

Somewhere in between my tears, my screams and my raging emotions, a hunter finds me. He shares my mother's blue eyes and dark hair, her gentle smile and kind words. It takes me a minute to realise he's Adelaide's eldest brother, Will. My mother's brother.

He says hardly a word as he approaches me, pulling me into his arms with the same gentle nature I've attributed with my mother and hushes me into a strange sort of calm as I cry into his jacket.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I rambled, clawing at my neck and my skin. "I never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted any of it. My fault, all my fault..."

"Hey, shhh. Adelaide's fine, it's nothing she hasn't handled before."

"It _was_ something she hadn't handled before. God, so stupid, so fucking stupid..."

After large amounts of rambling, Will manages to coax me back to the Academy, although has has the carry me the last half of the way because I was on the verge of collapsing. He's too forgiving, I observe, too forgiving and too kind to be related to me. I must be such a stranger to him, even if I am his niece. I must look like such a fool, too, for believing that I could keep others safe. _How weak... _

* * *

"You can be quite stupid sometimes, you know?"

Even hearing Zero's voice hurts, making my heart contract and ache with the undeniable desire to touch him, kiss him and hold him close forever. I'd been hoping to avoid him completely this evening, as the clean up of the school commenced and students were sent home. I'd been sitting up here on the roof for hours, watching the world go by with '_Pride and Prejudice_' open in my lap and Florence and the Machine singing away in my ears. I had watched Yuki go without too much emotion, although I knew she could see me up on the roof, holding my breath in hopes that my tears would not fall. Her departure was hard, as I had grown to love Yuki as my friend, but not as hard as seeing Zero stay.

It seems as if my hopes of hiding away were very much fruitless as Zero, comes up and stands beside me, his gorgeous violet eyes looking down at me with a soft sort of love that I can only hope is not real. I'm too fragile to be given false hope now. How he teases me so...

"How am I stupid?" I asked, staring out at the sun setting over the horizon. "None of us are stupid. We're only burdened by the weight of the human conscious and some burden that weight lighter or heavier than others."

"And which are you?"

"All those who worry and obsesses have always bare it the worst. But I am far worse than them."

Zero sighs, turning my head to meet his eyes. "You pity yourself too much."

"Do I?" I said. "I never knew you cared."

Zero shakes his head, pulling my book from my hands and pulling me to my feet. The feeling of his hands on my waist and his body pressed against mine near make me scream, both with the desire to touch him even more and to run away and hide myself from him. Zero holds me close, my arms loosely holding him by the waist as I breathe him in.

"You don't have to hide anymore," Zero whispered, stroking my hair lovingly. "You can't just push me away anymore."

"Can't I?" I replied, holding him tighter. "You're in danger when I'm around. But so am I when you're around. I guess that's why we're drawn to each other. We're both too dangerous for other's company."

Zero takes his time responding, brushing back my hair and exposing my severely bruised neck. I wince, the memory of Rido's fangs buried there still fresh in my memory and I almost pull away but I quickly realise it's Zero's arms I'm in, and not Rido's.

"I want so badly to run away, Zero," I said. "To run away from all my worries and troubles and never stop."

Leaning down, Zero lightly kisses my neck, almost making me jump with surprise. I feel his fangs graze my skin and his tongue trace a vein, sending electric shocks up my spine. I don't stop him, despite the feat I have brewing inside me. His kisses trail up my neck until he's dangerously close to my lips. I shiver but I continue.

"But I guess, there's only so far I can run," I whispered, clinging to Zero now, with desperation more than fear. "Before I run into you..."

Zero's lips crush against mine, breaking the barrier that I had forced between us to keep him safe. I let myself go, melting into the kiss and wrapping my arms around his neck, love and strange amounts of desire bubbling in my blood. I wish I could have him forever and I wish that this moment would never end but it does, after an excessively long time.

Zero leans his forehead against mine, his eyes closed as he speaks. "Yes...I think we are dangerous. Even more dangerous than others believe. But I wouldn't want you to run away from me. _Ever_. I think we need each other too much for any of that."

I smile, despite myself, and kiss his lips lightly. "Well someone'll have to stop me from spending five hundred dollars in every bookstore I find. I have a habit, you know?"

Zero opens his eyes and smiles that same small smile that seemed to capture me in that net they call love. As he kisses me yet again, this one slow and deliberate, I finally feel as if I might be able to make it through my own personal hell. I don't know how and I don't know if my assumption is even true, but with Zero, it feels true. I know he'll fight me when I push him away, he'll restrain me when I'm angry and he'll hold me when I cry. I know there are things he won't understand about me nor forgive but I can settle for this.

'_Can't repeat the past?…Why of course you can!' _No...Gatsby was wrong. You cannot repeat the past. But you can create a future that resembles a ghost of the past. That, unfortunately, is all Zero and I can do for now...

* * *

**That took FAR too long. But spending the day watching Game of Thrones sounded slightly more appealing in a strange way, so now you all know why this chapter's so late. **

**BEFORE YOU ALL PANIC AND THINK THIS IS THE END, IT IS NOT, I ASSURE YOU! For a while, I'll just be uploading little chapters about what happens in the year that passes after Yuki leaves with Kaname. I just need some time to work out the story that happens after that. Is that alright?! Yes, okay, now question.**

**Wait, I have no questions right now! My endless mind blank continues...**

**_LittleDragonRider_: Yes, Yuki was changed. Sorry, I thought that was kind of implied. **

**_Yuki Yukihara_: You're entirely right about the realistic aspect to this story. No teenager's life is free of temptation, whether that be to drugs, sex, alcohol or law-breaking, it's always there. I just wanted to add that aspect in because it never really seemed present in the anime and manga. Of course, it _was_ implied but not in literal terms. Sorry if it made you uneasy, but that was just what I wanted. **

**I'm going to be uploading chapters either spontaneously or frequently whilst I work things out but there will be chapters, I assure you. Actually, if you guys want to recommend things for me to write before I delve into the big story again, I'd like that. **

**Anyway, why I need time for the story work out is because I'm planning to expand on the lore of the witches and what not and so I need to do research and make characters and things like that. So just be patient for that, okay?**

**Alright, my iPad is dying very quickly (Thank you Apple, for your shitty battery lives on you devices) and so I need to wrap this up.**

**Read, Review, ask questions if you want and wait patiently for the next chapter...thing *head desk*. Love you guys. Brownies to you all -HL**


	28. Cause and Effect

Chapter 27:

Cause and Effect

* * *

"Still cannot believe you're moving on your birthday."

I roll my eyes, just as I've been doing for the last hour and a half every time Adelaide says that sentence. Slugging the last of my things into her apartment that is now _mine_ thanks to a rather long argument that resulted in a mutual agreement, I manage to ignore her as best I can but knowing Adelaide, she can't keep her own mouth shut for too long or it literally looks as if her mind is going to implode. It isn't long before she speaks again.

"I mean _come on_!" She complained, watching me from the doorway of my new bedroom as I stack my books carefully on my bookshelf. "You could have at least done something fun."

"My definition of fun has changed dramatically over these past years," I sighed. "Besides, all the things I'm meant to do at this age, I most likely did at sixteen. No point repeating the process."

Adelaide laughs, shaking her head. "God, you're a pain. Why couldn't you just stay at the Academy? It would have saved you the problem of walking to school every day."

"You know why we can't stay there. Zero...not to mention, me...we just can't handle it there anymore. Too many memories..."

Adelaide frowns, looking down at her feet as silence floods in with the inevitable sinking feeling in my stomach. It's amazing how two months can just fly by without a word but they have and there's not much to say about them. It's all been a strange blur of school, sleeping and my small moments with Zero, leaving me with only fragments of memories. Zero and I agreed that we wouldn't talk about Yuki anymore. It was painful for the both of us, him especially, and I think we both just wanted to forget her as quickly as humanly possible. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as we would have hoped.

Living at the Academy became so hard for us, with memories tainting every hallway, every room, every staircase. Even if I hated certain things Yuki did and found her somewhat tedious, that didn't dictate my love for her as a friend. She could be so positive, Yuki, so happy and bright that it almost made me believe that her smile would last forever. But that was a confident lie I had told myself and Zero had been telling that lie to himself as well.

It hit him hardest and I could tell, even when he was with me, that he missed her. She had been his friend since childhood, his one light in his smothering world of darkness and shadows. She was his first saviour and, even with me at his side, he seems to think that he just can't function without her. It's frustrating, considering that I pour so much time and effort into making him happy and out of the shadow of depression but I can't help him if he won't help himself. But with Ichiru's death coinciding with Yuki's departure, I feel as if it's inevitable.

With a large array of arguments, persuasive words and hopeful pleading, I managed to get Adelaide to lend us her apartment to live in. She never uses it and it would have been a waste of money to own if no one was living there, so I thought I could at least make use of it. Adelaide had taken a while to agree, as had everyone else I had to go through but it worked eventually. Zero was happy enough to be living with me and I'm sure he was happy to leave the Academy behind. Zero and I had planned to leave school this year, mainly because we agreed it was both too dangerous and pointless but that's where we got caught. Adelaide caught us in a bind, basically threatening us to go to school or we wouldn't get her apartment. It was sneaky, unfair and stupid but there was no fighting against Kaien, Yagari and Adelaide, three grown adults with a lot more authority than Zero and I.

But with one weight lifted from my shoulders, another is placed on them. Now that I am eighteen, I am now Zali's legal guardian. She's not happy about it, as she still sees me as an irresponsible teenager with the emotional and mental maturity of pineapple, but she, at the very least, is happy about getting to live away from the school. She'll live with Zero and I, mainly because I wanted to keep her close but also because _she_ wanted to, which honestly surprised me. I would have thought she'd have at least argued with me but there was a sort of neutral agreement that was present in her expression as she packed up her things at the Academy, hardly a word leaving her mouth. It was as if she didn't really care anymore, as if she couldn't be bothered to pay attention to her own problems, which really isn't a thing Zali would do. But I'm not really complaining. As long as she's safe, the rest doesn't matter.

"Tori." Adelaide's voice snaps me out of my thoughtful daze, almost making me drop my hardcover copy of '_Sense and Sensibility_' with fright. Groaning, I place the book on the shelf and lean against it, raking a hand through my tangled and messy hair.

"I...I'm just...I'm just so tired, Adelaide," I said, exhaustion pressing down hard on my shoulders. "Tired in all manner of the word. Zali's emotionless about everything now. Ever since the battle, she's hardly said a word to me. She just sits in the music room, day in, day out, playing constantly until she literally falls asleep at the piano. I don't know what to do with her and I have no idea how I'm meant to raise her. And Zero..."

I somewhat freeze as his name leaves his mouth, sprinklings of doubt and anxiety lighting up in my mind. I shake my head before I continue, wrapping my arms around myself as if I'm cold. "Zero's not himself. I feel as if...as if he's slipping through my fingers like water. He hides away from me whenever he can and when I'm with him, it's as if his mind is elsewhere. I'm just trying so hard...I'm trying to make him happy without _her _but I can't, not when he's so unresponsive. It's...I don't know, just tiring, I guess. Emotionally, physically, mentally...all of it. I feel as if I could sleep for a week and still be exhausted."

Adelaide smiles sadly, tugging lightly on her jacket. She looks at me with that gentle gaze that is identical to my mother's, like a soft summer's breeze, promising, just with her eyes, that things will get better. Too bad I'm too smart to believe such illusions.

"You should get some rest," She said, approaching me tentatively before placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'll make sure Zero and Zali are settled, okay? Seriously, you look as if you've only had two hours sleep this whole month."

"Probably have," I sighed. "The nightmares are just worse now. I usually can't get to sleep unless Zero's there beside me but sometimes, even that isn't enough to keep them away."

Adelaide shakes her head, her dark hair shifting softly with her head movements. In my tired, vulnerable state, I can now see why Yagari would have fallen for Adelaide. She has a never ending beauty about her that extends far further than just her face and body. On the outside, it's as if she's made of steel, as if nothing gets through that facade of smug smiles and quick wit. Her bad girl attitude attracts all kinds of attention and yet she can deflect it so easily without a second thought. It's the people she cares about that get to see her loving side. I've quickly learnt that Adelaide has a strong sense of family and will protect them with her life. Only recently have I learnt that her protection extends to me.

Exhausted, I comply with Adelaide's order, although I know full well it's not going to end well. Once she's out and the closed door is between us, I can finally just breathe. I hadn't realised that I'd needed space from human contact, to be away from the world of monsters and men just for a while. It's relaxing almost instantly but also lonely, to a point.

Somewhere in between reading '_The Vampire Armand', _I manage to drift off into sleep. Almost immediately, I'm dragged into another bloody nightmare by invisible claws that cut into my skin like shards of glass. Blood, death and darkness are present as always and those red and blues eyes follow me as well, instilling the final ounce of fear into my veins before I'm pulled gently back out of my terrifying sleeping daze.

Warm arms encircle me as my heart hammers against my ribcage, Zero's scent of wind, soap, gunpowder and just _him _quickly lulling me into a sense of security. I can hear his steady heart beat under my fingertips as I nuzzle lazily into his neck, feeling his arms tighten around me as I stir. I wonder how long I've been sleeping, if Zero's here with me. Nonetheless, I'm happy he's here and I know at least that his presence will make me feel better, if not his words.

"Zero..." I whimpered, still feeling the small twinges of fear clinging to my skin like glass imbedded into my flesh.

Zero doesn't say a word, only looking down at me with his violet eyes and sliding his slender fingers under my chin. He lightly tilts my head up, softly kissing my lips as if to assure me of my safety. I'm well assured, that's for sure, but I kiss him back anyway, craving more of him as the seconds tick by. I almost whine as he pulls away, smiling softly as he lightly kisses my nose.

"Nightmare?" He asked, lightly caressing my cheek and brushing away a stray lock of hair.

"Was it that obvious?" I muttered, draping an arm around his waist lazily as I yawn.

"In a way," Zero replied. "You were tossing and turning when I walked in. Mumbling and gasping for breath. I guess I put two and two together and worked it out."

The sense of loneliness that I'd been feeling around him seemed to have vanished into thin air, the distant look in his eyes replaced with a new involved gaze. It's so strange to see that he's changed, after two months of that same look that ghosted over his eyes...I guess, I just got used to it.

Sighing, both with relief and exhaustion, I smile into Zero's neck, pressing light kisses to his neck tiredly. "Thank God..."

"What?" Zero furrows his brow, looking down at me with confusion. "What happened?"

"You're not...You're actually talking to me again," I said, sitting up a little in his arms. "You're not just...ignoring me all the time."

"What do you mean '_ignoring_' you? When did I ever ignore you?"

_Oh, wrong answer, Zero. _Zali's voice inside my head only adds fuel to the spark of annoyance that had ignited itself in my stomach. Growling, I force up the barrier between us and push Zero away from me in the process. My reaction surprises him, his violet eyes following me as I slide out of bed into the surprisingly cold air. I'd only out on a singlet and underwear, knowing I'd only soak any clothes I wore with sweat after a nightmare, but now I'm regretting that decision, as I flounce over to the wardrobe in search of some shorts.

"Seriously, Zero?!" I exclaimed as I rummage do through the half packed shelves. "Did you honestly think you weren't ignoring me for two months? You hid away, avoided me like the plague at most times and when I _did_ eventually get time with you, you just stared off into the distance, only half listening to the words I said and giving me three word answers. So honestly Zero, did you really believe you weren't ignoring me?"

Yanking a random pair of pyjama shorts from the bottom shelf of the wardrobe, I slam the wooden door shut, the wardrobe _and_ wall shaking from the impact. My impatience seems to have imbedded itself with my movements, as I yank on my shorts and hastily twist my tangled hair up into a bun. My erratic, angry movements only prove to confuse Zero more, as he watches me with shocked eyes.

"I never ignored you, Tori," He defended, standing from the bed. "I was...working things out."

"Oh and you couldn't have worked them out with me or at least, at the very _least_, Zero, you could have dealt with your problems _after_ I left the room?!"

The angry tension in the air finally gets to Zero as he snaps, throwing his hands up and finally raising his voice to a yell to match mine. "You know perfectly well what I was dealing with! So what if I just needed some time to get over some issues-"

"You could have at least _talked_ to me about them, Zero. I'm going through just about as much bullshit as you, if not more!"

"You didn't have to kill your own brother, Tori. You didn't have to watch your best friend turn into the thing you hate the most and then leave with your worst enemy!"

Slamming my fist into the wardrobe door, I groan loudly, angrily, pounding my fist into the door once more. "You don't even know _half_ the fucking shit that I have to deal with right now! Although, you _would have _if you hadn't been so self involved in your own little psychological problems and left me to deal with them _on my own_."

"Oh, come on. You're stronger than that, you've said and _proved_ it before. If you can't deal with tha-"

"_You don't know what he did!_"

With every word, the rage, anger and betrayal that had been heating my blood expands outwards, causing a small shockwave to ripple through the air and make Zero stumble back into the wall. I gasp, my hands going to my stomach as a sickening feeling of nauseousness sets in and I almost feel as if I could faint. My legs begin to loose all feeling and my head pounds with a pain that makes me feel as if something is trying to drill it's way out of my skull. For a second, everything goes black and I feel almost nothing at all but then the world comes back to me and I feel Zero's arms around me, holding me up.

My lungs feel like they're on fire as I take long, deep breaths, my hands clutching at Zero's shirt as I try to regain feeling in my limbs. Whilst I come back to myself, my mind begins to wander through the endless amounts of questions that have no answers. What was that? Some kind of power surge? It was as if everything short-circuited and took a second to reboot again. Of course, I'd felt that kind of pain and nausea before but never had I blacked out. It was a predicament I could not solve and that bugged me to no end as I press the heels of my hands to my head and press hard to try and relieve some of the pressure building there.

Zero steers me to the bed, sitting me down on the edge of the frame and kneeling down in front of me. I feel a slight wetness slide over my lips and I curiously bring my fingers to my nose, those fingers coming away red and slick with blood. _That's new. _New indeed, but the question still remains. Why now? Why would such a surge cause me to black out and, basically, stop functioning for a second? The answer to that question eluded me and I knew that I would make a point of finding out what it was.

"Jesus," I gasped, clenching my teeth with the pain. "What did I do? God, that was painful."

"Looked like it," Zero said, his hands resting on my knees as he watches me struggle with a migraine that feels like it's getting worse. "So...your emotions control your powers?"

Swallowing hard against the bile rising in my throat, I take another deep breath before responding. "Not all the time. But when I feel strong emotions, they just seem to become more aggressive and I can't keep them contained unless I calm down."

"So, when you were angry..."

"Yeah..._this_ was most definitely not intentional." Whimpering as the pain in my head begins to throb even worse, I begin to crave sleep's kind, or violent, embrace for once rather than this conversation with Zero. "Look, darling, as much as I love chatting, I think I'm going to need something to deal with the various amounts of _wrong_ going on here."

Zero smiles weakly at my poor attempt at humour, before brushing my now mangled hair back out of my face. "You're right..."

"Huh? What do you mean?" I asked, only half paying attention as it's only as much as my brain will allow.

"About...the last two months..." Zero said. "I'm sorry, I really am but...I needed time. You know most of all that the things that happened...back then...they aren't so easy to forget."

Despite my slowly fading anger towards him, I manage to let myself forgive him this time. I've missed him too much and had him for so little time that I don't want to push him away again. Zero, even for all his faults, is a part of me and I can't really survive well without him. I just want him back now.

"I'm sorry too," I replied, placing my hand over his. "I...I guess I've just had a hard time coping with..._things_."

_Things_ happens to be just about every problem that could possibly happen to a person like me. From nightmares to grief, from horrifying flashbacks to bouts of crying and screaming. I wasn't prepared to tell him everything I went through, nor did I think I had to. Zero was smart enough to work it out of his own, and so, there was nothing more to say. It seems that Yuki's departure has caused more of a reaction than I anticipated, more grief than I would have liked. She was the counterweight, the stabiliser. She held us together so that we wouldn't crumble into the dust. For every cause, there is an effect and I can deduct that Yuki made quite a heavy effect on both Zero and I.

I manage to slip into a peaceful, dreamless sleep after getting cleaned up. It had taken heavy duty painkillers, three attempts at reading and Zero's constant comforting presence but I still got there and in the end, I was happy for it. With my head resting on Zero's chest and my arms wrapped loosely around him, I was lulled into a sense of security that made it so much easier to rest and relax and inevitably fall asleep.

Zero had stayed up after I fell asleep, '_To Kill a Mockingbird_' open in his left hand and his right resting softly on my back. I was surprised when he asked to read it after my third attempt at reading, showing genuine interest in why I loved it so much. I'd given it too him warily, scared that he wouldn't appreciate it like I do. It was the sort of book that you didn't just read but you felt as well, you felt the emotions on the page and you saw the events written down on the page flash before your eyes like a home movie. It was beautiful in that way, for all it's simplicity and hidden complexity, but I wasn't quite sure if Zero would see it in the same way. After all, we see the world in two different ways. What stops us from seeing fictional events in a different light?

Nonetheless, I drifted off again, more heavily this time and for once I finally felt as if I could rest.

Even though I had not picked up the book in a little while, my mind kept wandering back to '_The Great Gatsby_', even in my sleep, where I had no control over what I thought. A small phrase seemed to be repeating itself over and over in my exhausted mind, embedding itself further into my subconscious until I was sure I might be going mad.

'_A phrase began to beat in my ears with a sort of heady excitement: "There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired."_' I believe it's possible to be at least one of those observations, to be pursed or pursuing, busy or tired, but I cannot help but wonder if it's possible to be all four. I am busy but I am also tired, so incredibly tired that I wonder if I was ever energised to begin with. I am pursed by others but I am also pursuing, pursuing those who are at least a little bit like me, who have powers such as I and have encountered the problems with those powers such as I.

Yes, I believe it's possible to be all four at once. But I didn't exactly say it was easy...

* * *

**I feel like I'm back at school already with all this research around me. That is _not_ good. **

**So I may actually be done with my research pretty soon, considering I spent a whole day on it yesterday but I'll still need some time to create characters and get them j_uuuuuuuu_st right. That might take a little longer but I'll try to get another chapter up before I start up again with the main story. **

**_lmncake_: Reaching the end?! Oh dear God, no. Still got a long way to go. I have waaaaaaaaay more story to tell. **

**_LittleDragonRider_: Never really watched Revenge. Everybody raves about it but I just couldn't be bothered to watch. I'm usually too busy watching other shows like Game of Thrones (HOW IS JOFFERY STILL ALIVE?!) and The Walking Dead. As for how I write the words of wisdom that fit with the world...I actually am not really sure. I just look over various quotes from books or I'll have a few classics sitting beside me in case I need inspiration. Usually, if something fits with the word, it'll just stick in your mind the most. But at least that's what I think I do. **

**Since my mind is sort of in lazy mode, I won't ask a question today. Apparently, my mind thinks it's too much effort. So...Just ask me stuff if you want. As always...**

**Read, Review and wait patiently for the next chapter. I must get back to character creating and possibly taking some time to cry over John Green's 'Paper Towns' at the same time. -HL**


	29. The Spark of a Wildfire

Chapter 28:

The Spark of a Wildfire

* * *

If hope is indeed a matter of infinite patience as my mother once stated, then it seems I am to be deprived of hope for the vast majority of my life. It's not that I'm impeccably impatient or a depressing person who does not believe in the existence of hope, but more that when it comes to certain people, my patience has little tolerance for them. And one of those people, happens to be my sister.

Zali's been sent to Kaien's office for the fourth time this semester, thanks to a brawl between her and a girl who, admittedly, is an absolute bitch. I'd seen the fight from afar but I hadn't realised it was Zali who was throwing the punches, not some other junior who had a grudge against one of their fellow classmates. I found out later, in class, when Adelaide told me I'd been called to the office.

"Your sister's causing problems again," She'd said. "Better go fix it quickly. I hear the girl's parents are already here and screaming bloody murder."

"Seriously?" I groaned. "She could have at least given me a chance to breathe after that last problem."

"Yeah, well, this is worse."

And it _was_ worse. As it turns out, the girl Zali had been fighting with, was the daughter of a politically powerful ambassador with a nagging, overprotective wife. The ambassador wasn't the problem at all. In fact, as I had walked into the Headmaster's office, my uniform tidied up and my hair up, he'd given me a look of sympathy as if he knew what of an uproar his wife would create.

"Tori, thank you for coming," Kaien said, obviously feeling sorry for me too as I walk up beside Zali, who is slumped in her chair with a sour look on her face. "It seems Zali has been causing problems again."

"It wasn't _me_ who was causing problems," Zali grumbled, a large red mark on her cheek already beginning to form into a bruise. "_She_ started it."

"I did not! You just attacked me like an animal!" The girl in the chair beside her cried, turning to her mother for support.

It was easy to see the similarities between mother and daughter. Both had golden blonde hair that curled at the ends and chocolate brown eyes that seemed to have a permanent look of arrogance to them. The mother looked down at her daughter with sympathy, throwing a look of hatred my way which I thought was quite uncalled for. You could tell they had money, with the ambassador's perfectly tailored suit and his wife's pearl necklace and earrings but that didn't threaten me, not at all. In fact, I was more bored, than threatened. I'd been through this too many times to really care whether or not the parents of Zali's victim were wealthy and powerful. Most of them were, so I expected some outrage, no matter what Zali did.

The wife looks over at Kaien, her eyes almost melting with fury. "Why hasn't this girl been suspended? Or even expelled if she's been causing problems before? She's wild and dangerous! Look what she did to my poor baby." She pointed at her daughter's eye, which, like Zali's cheek, was in the early stages of a bruises and looked only a little worse than Zali's.

"Excuse you, but my sister sustained an injury as well," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "You don't see me whining about it."

"She still started it," Zali muttered, rubbing her cheek sheepishly.

"No, I didn't! Tell them, Mother! Tell them I didn't start it," The little girl squealed, hurting my ears and setting my teeth on edge.

"Well?!" The mother exclaimed, staring at Kaien expectantly. "Aren't you going to suspend her?!"

I can't help but laugh, the comical aspect to this argument quickly escalating. I quickly disguise my laugh as a cough, although I think I hid my amusement a little too late as the mother shoots me another look of hatred. In a strange, almost completely off-topic thought, I think back to a quote from '_Pride and Prejudice_', something that seemed to fit this situation perfectly. '_Angry people are not always wise._' In the cruelest yet simplest way, that became true as Kaien sent the family out with kind, reassuring words.

"I'll see to it that she is punished," He said, an incoming sigh present in his voice. "You may leave with your daughter now, if you please. I'd like to talk to these two alone."

The mother opened her mouth to protest, obviously not happy with the way the situation was being handled but her husband quickly snatched her arm and pulled her gently out the door before she could say a word, their smug looking daughter in tow. Jane Austen was quite right about angry people; they rarely are ever wise.

Kaien lets out that repressed sigh once the family is gone, a look of defeat glazing over his eyes. I understand his disappointment more than any other. Zali's gone at least a month without a fight but this ruined her good streak. It's a shame really, since she was going so well and finally starting to settle down.

"Zali, this is the fourth time you've been in some kind of fighting with other students," Kaien said sternly. "If you were any other student, I would have the right mind to do as that woman asked and expel you on the spot."

Zali bows her head, her expression blank and emotionless, showing no signs of regret or repentance for what she did. I expected as much, since my sister is, at best, a cold and heartless girl. "She was shooting her mouth off again," Zali said, almost sounding defensive but not quite enough to qualify. "She was bullying just about everyone in the class, saying stupid things and starting stupid rumours. It had to stop and that's what I did."

"No, technically speaking, you used excessive force," I said, sitting myself down in the chair beside her. "You need a little self-control every now and then, Li-Li. Know when to control your anger and just ignore the ugliness around you."

"So I'm just meant to let her bully my friends and push us around?!" She exclaimed, outrage crossing her once blank face. "That's not what Dad ever told us to do."

"Dad told us to use our words, not our fists, Zali," I corrected her, feeling a slight stab of guilt at the mentioning of our father. "You twisted his words. Telling someone off is a completely different matter to physically punching, kicking or hurting someone. You keep forgetting that pain isn't the only way to make people comply with you."

"I'm not smart like you, Tori! I can't come up with awesome comebacks in two seconds like you can and I can't insult people with complex words. I'm not like you, Tori. I have my own way of dealing with things."

"I'm sorry, Zali, but I have to agree with your sister on this matter," Kaien interjected, quickly avoiding a pending screaming match as the tension in the air reaches peak levels. His kind and gentle gaze settles on Zali, after a quick warning glance toward me, somewhat making her relax a little, whilst also looking a little uncomfortable at the unrequited affection.

"I know this must be hard, Zali, having gone through what you did and...learning your own way of coping with things. But this is not acceptable behaviour. We all want you to have a decent education and you do well at school but the problem is not in your application or grades or even your attitude toward others. It's in you, embedded deep in your mind where only _you_ can reach it. I need you to control that part of yourself from now on, understood? I won't tolerate any more of these incidents, Zali. This is your final warning. If I hear anything about any fights, verbal or physical, I wI'll not hesitate to suspend or expel you if necessary. Am I understood?"

The gentle harshness of Kaien explanation almost sent shivers down my spine, the similarity to my father's method of punishments chilling me to the bone. I hadn't realised that my father and Kaien shared such similarities but now, with a clear conscience, I see it. From the way they hold themselves to the distant, thoughtful look in their eyes, Kaien is so much like our father that I might think that they were brothers. But of course, while their similarities are startling, their differences are drastic. Kaien is too flamboyant and cheerful; my father was serious but kind when the time called for it. He always managed to smile when he came home from work, no matter what was happening in the house at that time. He would always smile.

Zali, unfortunately, is too stubbornly stuck in her own little problem that she misses those similarities. An annoyed a scowl decorates her face ass he slumps back into her chair, crossing her arms over her chest with a defeated huff of air. Through the bond, I can feel her anger and frustration at being ignored and shunned, which is warranted, due to the fact that every thirteen year-old thinks it's the end of the world, but it's the small hint of betrayal that bugs me the most.

I stare at my little sister with confusion, my mouth hanging slightly open with shock. Why would she think I betrayed her? I was trying to help her, not scold and humiliate her like any other parent would do. I'm all she has, I have to discipline her every once in a while but...I thought she understood that.

"Zali, could you wait outside for me?" Kaien asked, spotting my expression of shock. "I'd like to talk to Tori alone."

Zali gives no resistance as she leaves, although her wall-shaking slam of the office door simply confirmed that she was still pissed off. I tried to enter her mind once more but it was completely blocked off now, with the brick wall up and a strange electric current surrounding it protectively. She _definitely_ doesn't want me in her head right now.

"I'm so sorry," I said, sighing tiredly as dull exhaustion knits itself into my muscles. "I thought we were over this. I really thought we were."

Kaien shakes his head, clasping his hands together in front of his face. He must have only just got back from the Association, as he still wears his trench coat and gloves, whilst a tired look glistens in his eyes. I'm quite glad to have him back at the Academy. Yagari's been here to deal with the last three incidents and I could tell by the this time, he was getting sick of the complaints. He was too blunt, too strightforward, and no matter how many times Adelaide tried to convince him to be a little gentler with Zali, he would brush her off. Kaien, at the very least, can deal with problems in a polite manner.

"She's been having trouble adjusting, hasn't she?" Kaien said gravely. "I knew something like this would affect her."

"She's too headstrong," I said. "She always thinks she's right, no matter what. It's just...It's just so difficult trying to make her understand what I have to go through when she goes off on a little spree like this. She'll kick and scream, she'll never listen to my explanations and she always thinks I'm betraying her for not taking her side."

"Being her legal guardian is a lot harder than you originally thought, wasn't it?"

I laugh dryly, crossing my arms over my chest. "You got that right."

Zali's been so difficult lately, ever since she began going to school here, she seems to be getting more and more edgy and unwilling to talk to me about anything. Not that she was incredibly open to begin with, but she was far more responsive back them, even when she was facing trial. She's never been so closed off before, so unreachable that I almost feel as if I'll have to force her explanation out of her. It's frustrating beyond words but I know it's what I signed up for, so I've dealt with it as best as I can. But now, I'm not so sure I can...

"Look, Tori, I understand your issues," Kaien explained. "I do, believe me. If you think Zero was ever an easy child, then you apparently don't know him as well as you think you do."

I smile at his joke but I can't get far enough past my disappointment to laugh. "He's a bit like her, isn't he?"

"Well, I wouldn't say they're identical but...they have similar personalities. Not quite identical but similar. Maybe you should get Zero to talk to her, ask her what's wrong."

"What would she have to say to Zero that she wouldn't say to me?"

Kaien sighs, pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. "You may be her sister, Tori, but that only gives her more of a reason to hide things from you."

"More of a reason?" I repeated, furrowing my brow in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Zali's grown up somewhat both hating and loving you. She's hidden things from you before and she's more likely to do it again because she...well...she most likely doesn't trust you much right now."

"Doesn't trust me? What do you mean 'doesn't trust me'?! Of course she does. I'm her family, why wouldn't she?!"

"You thought she was loved in your family once. You though your parents loved her as they loved you and you were both treated equally. As it turns out, you were wrong, incredibly wrong, and she was hell bent on killing you before she thought better of it. What's stopping you from misjudging this if you missed such a big problem before?"

At first, I scoff at his statement, stubbornly denying what he said without a second thought. What did he know about my family? I know my sister and I know her well, well enough to know that she would trust me with her secrets and thoughts if she needed to get something off her chest. But...does she? Only minutes ago, I had been thinking about how she was so closed off and hidden from me, about how emotionless she was. Was I contradicting my own opinions?

The more I turned Kaien's question over in my head, the more I began to agree with that assumption. Why would she trust me? To her, I'm probably still the sister who abandoned her and left her with our parents. Our parents who did not love her as they should have. Why would she tell anything to me if she thought I was still that sister?

Taking a deep shaking breath, I look to Kaien for advice. "What do I do?"

"Take a day. Go home, don't bother coming in to school tomorrow and get Zero to talk to her. _That's_ what I think you should do."

* * *

The wind rushes by, blowing my hair out behind me like a flag and sending shivers down my spine. Walking home was a lot more emotionally painful than I would have liked, with Zali walking ten paces ahead of Zero and I, kicking at rocks that cross her path and muttering anxiously to herself. She'd set herself that pace from the moment we'd stepped out of the school, buttoning up her coat and walking out into the wind without even a disgruntled word to Zero or I.

I had managed to explain Zali's situation to Zero without leaving out too many things, the autumn wind and crisp air making it hard not to stutter very now and then when the cold gets to be a little too much. Zero listens intently, wrapping an arm around my shoulder when my shivering gets to be a little too distracting. Once I'm finished, he sighs, agitation lacing his tone and cutting through me like a hot blade through butter.

"She's too stubborn," He growled, raking a hand through his wind beaten hair. "And wild. What is this, the sixth time?"

"Fourth," I replied, pulling out of Zero's, admittedly, warm embrace and crossing my arms over my chest in an attempt to stop my shivering. "And she isn't wild. She's just...I don't know. What's a word for it? Bold, I guess?"

"She likes to be in control, that's what," Zero said. "She could at least have settled for yelling."

"That's never her style remember? Punch first, speak second."

"Sounds like me, in all honesty."

"Uh, well...that ties in with what I need to ask of you," I said, pulling out Kaien's letter that excused us from school tomorrow. "I need you to talk to Zali."

"Excuse me?"

I sigh, handing Zero the letter as another gush of wind rushes past and tangling my hair into small, mangled knots. "Kaien seems to think that Zali would open up to _you_ rather than me. Something about similar personalities and a distrust for me."

"Why would she trust me and not you?" Zero said, folding the letter carefully and stuffing it into his pocket. "You're her sister. You understand her best."

"According to Kaien, I don't," I sighed, rummaging through my pockets for the cigarettes I had '_borrowed_' from Adelaide. They'd been sitting on her desk and I knew she was more of a casual smoker who would most likely not touch them for a month at a time. I thought I could make good use of them. "I mean...if I missed the fact that my parents completely ignored her, then I don't doubt that I missed her constant distrust for me. She may have gotten a little less hostile over time but Li-Li still dislikes me with a passion."

"That's a speculation, Tori," Zero said. "How can you be so sure?"

I shrug, finally finding my cigarettes and putting one to my lips. Not bothered to use a match, I click my fingers, a small flame flickering at my fingertip and lighting the addictive inhaler. Taking in the slightly dangerous fumes and exhaling the wasteful smoke.

"I'm _not_," I said. "But I know I'm not far from the truth."

With some convincing, Zero agreed to talk to Zali about our little predicament and I could only hope that he would knock some sense into her. Of course, I still worried, as Zero possessed Yagari's harsh, straight-forward attitude and one-way thinking patterns, which might ultimately make things worse between us and Zali but I could see beyond my doubts now, as I had almost nothing left to lose except more of my sister's trust. I countered that by telling myself that I would have lost all of it already thanks to the fact that I hadn't backed her up her claims this morning. _So childish..._

Once we're home, I leave Zero to do what I have asked of him, wandering off to our room and taking an excessively long shower. It was calming, to have the water run down my back and my chest, seeping through my hair and down my legs. Every muscle seemed to relax under the water and with that, so did my mind. My worries were gone and I had hardly a care in the world with the steaming water sprinkling down onto me. Even as I stepped out of the shower and got dressed into warm black leggings and slipped on one of Zero's shirts, I was hardly even phased by the fact that my sister could very well hate me with a blinding passion.

* * *

'_I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own. He must enter in all my feelings; the same books, the same music must charm us both._'

My taste only extends so far as I slam '_Sense and Sensibility_' shut, it's slow pace and somewhat tasteless characters getting to me. There was once a time when I loved this book like any other and adored it as one of my favourites but lately, as I read over it once more, I find myself wondering more and more why I liked it. It had hardly any philosophical or sensual appeal like '_The Great Gatsby_' and no charming and beautifully pieced together story like '_To Kill a Mockingbird_'. '_Pride and Prejudice_' would always provide me with a better love story than this and at the very least, '_Dracula_' could send a shiver up my spine at some point in the story. '_Sense and Sensibility_' just doesn't hold as much charm as it did when I remember first reading it and so I can't bring myself to continue.

Throwing the book to the side, I sigh, running a hand through my damp and tangled hair as I stare up at the shadowy ceiling. The room is quite bright with the overhead light on and so I usually keep it off, turning on my lamp instead and walking around in the near darkness. I have a tendency to like darker places now, places where light cannot reach me in direct rays, and I suspect that it's because of my being a vampire that does that. We are creatures of the dark in the end, beings who live best in the shadows. Unfortunately, this does not bode well for book reading.

Placing '_Sense and Sensibility_' back on my book shelf, I run my fingers along the rows of bindings, hardly ever reading the covers but instead just enjoying the feeling of the covers under my fingers. Books, somehow, make me feel so calm and I can't help but adore them in this way. The feel of the paper between my fingers, the meanings of the words on the page; it all matters to me and I adore it so readily. I can only guess my love of reading and novels came from my parents, who were avid readers with hundreds of books at their disposal. '_Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.' _It was a simple phrase, so eloquently put, but it spoke to me in a way that no human voice could. I knew that I never loved reading fully but once I read that, I truly understood why. It was built into me, like the act of breathing. My body found reading a necessity for survival and that was just how it was meant to be.

It's the same with Zali's stubbornness well, her headstrong attitude and need to be in control. I may not have known it back when we were younger but I know now that that is how she is and how she will remain. It's all part of her, weaves into the fabric of her being to create everything that is my little sister. The same goes for Zero, Adelaide and everyone else around. We are all built on our morals, thoughts and opinions, not just blood and bone.

"Charming..." I muttered to myself, leaning my forehead against the edge of the wooden bookcase.

_Magic_ is built into my body as well. It flows through my blood, through my skin, through my _soul_. It's a part of me just as my limbs, organs and personality are me. And yet, I know almost nothing about it. I know nothing of what I can do, nor how I can control my attacks, even though my body needs magic to survive. So what...what is stopping me from learning?

'_That was my nature - going from temptation after temptation, not to sin, but to be redeemed.' _I may never be redeemed for what I have done, I know that. I may never understand what I truly am nor what I am to be.

But I sure will be _damned_ if I don't try.

* * *

**Witches may be able to die by fire but it's vampires who will shy from a flame...**

* * *

**So, I'll be getting back on track with the main story once again after two distracting chapters. I still have a few things to do but I'm willing to write and work at it at the same time. It'll just have to work. **

**Although, these chapters may be few and far between because I have school coming up soon (Dear Lord save me) and I may not be able to write as much because...you know...homework is a thing. But if you came excuse me while I deal with that and be patient in those times, then that would be good. **

**_LittleDragonRider_: *takes deep dramatic breath* READ IT! READ IT NOW! Nah, just kidding, read it in your spare time. It's a really short book but god, it's good. I use a lot of the quotes and things because they sort of relate in a way of lost love and greed and power yada yada yada. You get ma point. **

**Question: What do you think Tori will find about the witches? Penny for your thoughts. **

**Wow, that phrase sounds ancient when written down. MOVING ON! **

**Read, Review, ask questions if you want and wait patiently for the next chapter. **

***evil laugh* Oh, you guys have no idea what's coming and it amuses me so...-HL**


	30. Son of the Devil

Chapter 29:

Son of the Devil

* * *

**Zali**

* * *

Shooting a gun was still surprisingly as thrilling as I remember. When I was six and Tori was closing in on twelve, my father received a business deal which stated that he would be stationed in Germany for a year and a half. He was in stocks, a dangerous game to play, and he had told us that in order for him to get the good opinion of an investor, we had to leave. To me, a girl with mild anger issues, little-to-no friends and a six-year-old's innocent mind, this wasn't much of a problem. For Tori, unfortunately, it had been. I could still remember her yelling and screaming for weeks, complaining constantly about leaving. This particular stage lasted about a month, in which she was literally the most unsociable person in the world but once we were on the plane and flying away, her worries somewhat slipped away. Living in that country wasn't so bad at all and even though Tori had complained vigorously before we left, she seemed to have enjoyed living there as much as I did. The main reason for that, was our hunting trips.

The sound of gunshots bounces off the walls like bullets ricocheting off of heavy metal. It doesn't bother me one bit, nor does the aching in my shoulder from the constant kickback of the rifle nor does the dull throbbing in my brain from the high intensity of noise. The buzz of adrenaline shooting gives has me on a high and I can't seem to bring myself down from it. _Always the same..._

"Try to relax a little," Zero said, watching over me with a tentative gaze. "Your shoulders are too tense. The kickback will only hurt more if you keep them tense like that."

I open my mouth to respond, a snappy comback wavering on my tongue, but I think better of it. I know Tori asked Zero to talk to me about 'the inicdent', which honestly wasn't my fault. Alana had been terrorising the class, _once again_, and I just...snapped. What was I supposed to do? Sit there while she teased me and pissed me off to no end? Admittedly, I could have resolved the issue better by yelling at her but my first instinct was to punch and so, I just punched. No need to worry about what came after.

Even if he's here because Tori asked him to be, I'm happy that Zero's here instead of her. Tori still sees me as a child, someone to be protected. Zero, at the very least, knows better. He knows I can take care of myself enough to know what calms me and what angers me and he genuinely listens. But honestly, who would be angry at the man who brings you to a shooting range and gives you your own choice of rifles? Obviously not me.

Finger on the trigger and one eye looking through the scope, I force myself to relax a little, letting my shoulders drop and a shaky breath leave my mouth. Eyeing the target, I lightly squeeze the trigger, not quite setting it off, and take a deep breath. I hold it, settle my focus on the middle of the target once more and fire.

The kickback of the rifle didn't hurt as much his time, just as Zero said, and I finally got the headshot I'd been trying to achieve for a good half an hour. Smiling, I straighten up and stand properly, surprised at how stiff my back had become. I really shouldn't be, as half an hour bent forwards whilst leaning on a bench with a high powered sniper rifle in your arms is bound to cause you a little pain.

Stretching out my arms, I turn to Zero, his eyes still on the target. "How was that?"

"Better," He replied, walking over to the rifle and reloading the weapon. "Mind if I have a go?"

"Hey, I shouldn't be the only one who gets a little anger management," I said. "Be my guest."

Zero's mouth twitches subtlety, as if he's holding back a smile as he brings his head down, lining his gaze in through the scope and keeping his finger on the trigger. It's not long before I hear the earsplitting thunder of the rifle, causing a slight ringing in my ears to surface, and the cling of the bullet shell rattle on the floor. Zero unloads the ammunition faster than me and his shot is far better than mine but he's had more years of experience and training than me, so that was expected. I only vaguely learnt how to shoot a rifle when I was seven, in the depths of the Black Forest with my father's arms wrapped protectively around me, his hands over mine as he helped me line my shot. It's the only fond memory I have of my father. The _only_ one.

Standing from his almost crouched position, Zero lifts the rifle from the bench and takes it back to it's rack, carefully placing it onto the metal bars beside the exact copies of itself. I watch him with fascination, the fluidity and gracefulness his movements resembling that of a cat's or lion's. I remember back to a few months ago, when Tori had been reading '_The Great Gatsby' _to me aloud, I recall a certain phrase that sticks to Zero like Velcro.

'_If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him.' _Yes, I believe there is something gorgeous about Zero. Even if I may not see him in the same light as Tori; for his looks, his smile and his charm but in a certain way, there's a gorgeous essence of both death and life that flows from him, a balanced mixture of light and dark. He moves like any vampire should, with the upmost gracefulness and fluid motions, but when he speaks, I hear the words of a hunter, sworn to kill all creatures of the dark. _A perfect mixture_, I think. _Not good nor bad but both_.

Waving me over, Zero sits down on one of the benches around the range, running a hand through his constantly ruffled hair. His lilac eyes shine under the bright light of the room, as if illuminated under it's presence. He still wears his school uniform, just as I do as well, but he wears it lazily, with his shirt untucked, his tie loosened and his jacket open.

"You know, you could at least have saved your anger for later, Zali," Zero said as I walked over. "Maybe saved your sister some trouble."

I roll my eyes, sitting myself down beside him with a flick of my dark hair. "Tor can handle those things. It just pisses me off that she never listens to me."

"She listens, Zali," Zero sighed, stating it as a fact but not a defence. "You can't expect her to take your side on everything."

"She takes _your_ side on everything."

Zero scoffs at my remark, a ghost of a smile tracing over his lips. "If you think that, than you obviously don't know your sister. She has her own opinion on just about everything."

"You got that right," I grumbled, slumping back against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest. "It's not like my opinion matters, let alone my side of the story."

Zero sighs again, more with frustration this time than thoughtfulness. "Tori loves you, Zali. There's nothing in the world that'll ever change that. But you have to understand the kind of pressure she's under, not just as your sister but as your legal guardian too. If you get kicked out of school, there's a possibility the Association will take you away from her, maybe even kill you just to save the trouble of imprisoning you."

"Yeah, well it's not like I _mean_ to cause trouble," I said. "I just get angry, that's all. It's Tori who doesn't understand that about me."

"There are a lot of things you two don't understand about each other," Zero mumbled.

"What do you mean?"

There's a long pause between us for a while as Zero smiles that small smile that Tori adores so much. He rakes his fingers through his hair one more time before answering, acting more on a nervous habit than anything else. "You both have the same temperament. You just express your anger in different ways. Tori uses her words, you use your fists."

"Well, what's wrong with using my fists?!" I complained. "It gets the message across quicker."

"True but usually, it's easier to hide the scars of being told off than it is to hide the ones from being hit. You like control, I understand that, but there are other ways to have control which _won't_ have Tori asking me to do things like this every time you mess up."

"Thanks," I muttered sarcastically, my mouth set in a pout. "It's good to know I'm appreciated."

"You are," Zero said, hardly phased by my childish outburst. "But I much prefer you when you're happy and on speaking terms with your sister than when you're depressed and in an all-out war with her. God...I'm glad that Ichiru wasn't as young as you were or I might never have survived."

_That_ sparked my attention. Biting my lip, I consider pushing forward with my curiosity, fighting an internal war of ideas and thoughts. Tori had told me that Zero was still touchy on the subject of his brother but if he could mention him so easily, without even a wavering word...

"I...I didn't know you were...open to talk about him now," I said, taking a deep breath and holding it as I wait for his response.

"I'm not," Zero replied, showing hardly any emotion in his voice. "But that doesn't mean I won't mention him from time to time."

With one sentence, it felt as if the topic was closed off, left hanging in the middle of the conversation without any leverage to go back. "I suppose that's reasonable," I said, swallowing against the lump that had formed in my throat. "You still have time to grieve, I guess. You were his twin, after all."

"Don't get any ideas," Zero said sternly, almost slicing me in half with a single sentence. "If I haven't mentioned anything to even Tori, I wouldn't say much to you."

Raising an eyebrow, I manage a smile, a cheeky, un characteristic smile that surprises Zero with it's playfulness, "Wouldn't say _much_?"

Zero sighs, another smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You are so much more like your sister than you realise, you know that?"

I shrug, twirling my braid around my finger. "Maybe. I don't like to compare myself to her."

Zero rolls his eyes, obviously expecting that kind of answer as he stands from the bench, and lazily putting his hands in his pockets. "Come on, smart ass," He said. "Let's go find your sister. I think she went off to the archives when we got here."

"What? No lecture?" I exclaimed, my smile extending a little. "I thought we were just getting started."

"We are," He replied, walking toward the exit with the gracefulness that enchanted me so. "But I'm not finishing it. Not yet."

"Why not?"

"I'll save my anger for the next time you lose control. So next time you think of stepping out of line, ask yourself Zali; Do you really want to see me angry?"

* * *

**Tori**

* * *

There weren't as many books on witches as I would have liked in the Association archives. The majority of them were old and frayed, written in Latin and Old English with bindings that would near disintegrate in your hands. The ones in Latin I had no problem with. I made an effort in Modern History to learn the language as most ancient texts were written in it and I praised myself for learning the language now most of all, as I could read those books without a hiccup. The ones in Old English were the problems.

There were certain words I knew, ones that were obviously Germanic or Latinate in origin but the others were lost on me and so I had to resort to leave those books alone, as I couldn't quite decipher them without someone who knew the language. Turning back to the even older books, those of them that were in Latin, I began to translate them into modern text as best I could, my notebook open beside me and a pen in my hand as I wrote.

_Witches are known to be predominately female. It is said that this is so because women are more pure and less privy to the worries and temptations of men. Young girls, usually between the ages of six months old and three years of age, will often show signs of having magic present in their blood by either causing pain to their mothers unintentionally by shifting into their mother's minds when they experience strong emotions, or causing fragile objects around them to break or shatter. These surges are caused by strong emotions such as hate, fear, sadness or grief. Strangely, experiencing love does not trigger any power surges. There is no explanation to this, unfortunately. _

Turning the information over in my mind, I begin to work things out. The powerful surges that I experience were due to my emotions being out of control. I had known that my powers were somehow tied to my emotions but I just didn't know how exactly to control. I still don't really but I read on in hopes of finding out.

_A witch can give birth to a son but the child will most likely either die within three days of being born, the magic present in their blood becoming too much for their young bodies, or survive, and live for the rest of their lives with no access to the magic in their blood. They are known to be quite an anomaly in witches society, as witches, as said before, are all female, and so they often produce female children. For a witch to give birth to a male child is to be considered as a bad omen or a curse. There has been no record at all of any male born of a witch who has been able to use the magic they possess._

"Some light reading?"

Peering up from my book, I'm met with the eyes of a deceptively gorgeous man. His hair is dark, chocolately brown, almost black to a point, and is cut in a similar way to Zero's. His eyes are a luminous shade of hazel, the kind that borders on gold with flicks of green in the middle, and seem to sparkle under the light as his lips stretch into a playboy smile. He's considerbly taller than me, probably taller than Zero as well, but is slightly more muscular looking than Zero, although they possess a similar lean frame. He wears a rather striking _Doors _t-shirt and black leather jacket, his faded blue jeans scruffed with stains of everyday life.

Struggling to remember my words, I close my notebook and lean back in my chair, smiling a friendly kind of smile. "Sort of. Just bored is all."

"I don't think bored women usually look into books on the origins of witches," He said, smiling right back at me and almost making my heart skip a beat. "As I recall, they should be painting their nails."

"How overly sexist," I laughed, brushing off the minor insult as I study to boy before me. "I'm sorry, I don't recall knowing you from anywhere-"

"You wouldn't really know me at all," The man interrupted, sitting himself down in front of me. "But I intend to get to know you and vice versa."

"Well, that's a little bold. Dazzling a girl with your looks would probably be enough to make her fall head-over-heels in love with you. That is, if that girl isn't already in a relationship."

The man raised an eyebrow curiously, twisting the sigil ring on his middle left finger. "_Are_ you in a relationship?"

"I thought it was obvious," I said, my hand going to the amethyst pendent clasped around my neck. I could still feel the magic humming from it's core and I concluded, after long consideration, that whatever enchantment was cast on it was made to last.

The man's luminous near gold eyes settle on my pendant, his smile turning hopeful Ina matter of seconds as he flicks his gaze up to me. "I'm not here for that reason."

"Oh?" I sighed, growing slightly confused at his words. "And here I thought I was attracting boys all-round. Shame."

"This is about something else. Something...a little more dangerous than you'd be used to."

A sly smile reaches my lips and despite his strange advances, I begin to like this beautiful boy with an enchanting smile. "Try me."

His eyes light up at my words, as if he just achieved a great victory, hard fought, souly won. Reaching into his jacket, he pulls out a small envelope with my name scrawled on the front in elegant and almost ancient font. He holds it out to me tentatively, before speaking once more. "If you're still interested in the witches, come find us. The Queen is eager to meet you."

Taking the envelope gently, I begin to mull things over in my head. Queen? What Queen? If the witches are meant to have a Queen, then why would she want to see me? Also, how did she find me in the first place? These questions twist and turn in my mind, haunting me with their significance. If the witches know who I am and what I can do, then what do they want with me? There are so many questions that twist and turn in my head but I know that I can't ask such questions, not here and not now.

"How...How did you find me?" I asked settling for only one question entirely.

The man's smile twitches, as if he's holding back something that he's not supposed to tell. "All will be explained tomorrow night. Just...wear something nice. Not all of us get a private audience with the Queen of Dark."

"Queen of the Dark? Strange...I wouldn't think witches would be dark."

"It's just a name, Victoria," He said, standing from his seat with that same dazzling smile on his lips. "Victoria...means victory, from the Greek Goddess of victory, Nike. It must be genuine luck that you got a witch's name."

"Oh really?" I said, staring up at him with a faint smile. "And what would your name be?"

With another sly smile, the man begins to walk away, _almost_ leaving me hanging. Stopping at the end of the table, the man turns and faces me, his shining gold eyes cutting through the dim light of the archives. His beauty is so striking in this light that I cannot help but stare in awe.

"Damien. And according to Richard Donner's film '_The Omen_', I'm technically the son of the Devil."

* * *

**Move reference! It was necessary. **

**You would not believe how many pieces of paper I have just lying around me right now. It's like a freaking map to my brain or something because in between all the bits of information I always seem to write down some quote or draw some symbol from my fandom. Good God, I think I need help.**

**So how was that? Feel free to hate Damien already. It'll just prepare you for what's to come *evil smile* **

**So I will probably not post for a few days because no. 1, tomorrow is my Dad's birthday and Mum and I will be doing stuff with him. No. 2, Australia Day's coming up and I intend to spend the entirety of my time at the pool, hopefully with my friends, jumping on the massive slide that always comes out on Australia Day. And no. 3, I plan to sleep in and be lazy for a day. So that will probably mean I'll just be reading a lot of books, watching YouTube from my iPad and not moving from my bed unless I need food. **

**So in other words, I shall be procrastinating. _But_ that does give me a chance to plan a couple more things so, you know, there _is_ something good that comes out of my laziness. **

**Read, Review, ask questions if you want and wait patiently for the next chapter while I enjoy sleeping in till twelve in the afternoon. I have done it before. I will do it again. -HL**


	31. Death Trap

Chapter 30:

Death Trap

* * *

I hadn't initially wanted to sneak out in the middle of the night, dressed in a short black dress hidden beneath my trench coat with Damien's letter in hand. It was never something I _wanted_ to do, but after twisting and turning in my bed, working Damien's words over in my mind as Zero slept soundly beside me, I knew I might go mad if I stayed put. I didn't want to go to the meeting with the Queen, somebody I don't know and certainly shouldn't trust, but I also didn't want to stay in my bed, mulling over what could have been all night and then every day and night after that. No...I didn't _want_ to go to the meeting with the Queen of the Dark...but what I wanted wasn't important. What I _needed_..._was_.

Slipping out of our apartment and down onto the street was easy enough. Zero, even if he may not be a heavy sleeper, isn't likely to wake up considering the fact that he spends most his nights out hunting and killing. This is the first night in weeks he's even slept and I'm more than sure he'll use it for all it's worth. He doesn't even stir as I sneak out, nor does Zali when I check on her before I leave. She sleeps as she always does, blankets wrapped tightly around her as she lies on her stomach, mumbling in her sleep. Zali never ceased to be adorable as she slept, even at the pesky age of thirteen.

I would have thought it would have been harder to sneak away in six-inch-heels and a cocktail dress that, admittedly, was probably a bit too revealing for such an occasion. But it was and I got away with it without any trouble at all. Every kind of question ran through my head as I walked through the empty streets, my heels clicking against the pavement, the sound echoing through the hollow air. What do the witches want from me? I _am_ an anomaly, a witch turned vampire, and there's no one else like me in this world. But being exploited for my many uses is _not_ something I would like to happen. _Many uses huh_, I thought. _I bet Damien would like to use you for at least one of them. __  
_

The thought of Damien managed to make me shiver with fear and, disgustingly, delight, his ever so gorgeous looks still fresh in my mind. No man should be that attractive, that alluring, without consequence. Usually, men such as him never catch my attention. I'd seen far too many of them and been with half of those I had seen to really give a damn about them. Whatever they had in looks, they always lacked in something else and that always managed bothered me, in some meticulous way, it just did. Looks, I quickly learnt, were nothing in comparison to the mind. But Damien, even with one first impression, seemed to lack in almost _nothing_. And to be completely honest, that bothered me _more_ than all those imperfect men combined.

Finding the witches compound would have been a giant pain in the ass, considering that when I got to the place where Damien's letter had told me to go, it was completely and utterly empty. I was positioned at the edge of town, right on the edge of the forest that surrounded just about everywhere around here. Frustrated, I wait, pacing with above average nervousness.

Wandering around the edge of town, I look out into the dark forest surrounding the town. The bitter wind has become quite a lot to handle as it bites through my coat and into my bare legs, causing shivers to shoot up and down my spine like icy pins and needles. It's quiet out here in the dark, with the leaves rustling softly as the wind blows by and the stars shining brightly overhead, whispering silently words of wisdom that only few will ever hear. I remember the night that I experienced the first of Zali's attacks, when I had stood out in the dark on a night like this, with the wind blowing my hair out and calming my racing mind. So many times, I had found that even the coldest of winds would calm me in my moments of rage and that had been one of those times. It was peaceful, to me at least. It was calm. _Undisturbed_. Back then, it had been Zero who had found me out there in the dark. This time, much to my displeasure, it was Damien.

"Little black dress, huh?"

The quiet was rudely interrupted by his voice, almost making me jump out of my skin with fright in the process. Groaning with frustration, I turn to face him, stuffing my hands into my trench coat as they begin to shake with anger and just the cold. Damien, in all his gorgeous glory, stands before me with that sly smile of his. that almost, _almost_, takes my breath away. His black dress shirt remains untucked over his suit pants, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his first few buttons of his shirt remain undone to show off his slightly tanned collarbone. His dark brown hair is ruffled, styled to look as if he just rolled out of bed. His gold eyes shine in the dark, as I expected they would, settling gently on me.

Swallowing hard, I storm over to Damien, muttering profanity under my breath, and punch him hard in the shoulder. He stumbles back a little, looking only slightly pained, but hitting him was like hitting a brick wall, leaving my fist probably hurting worse than his shoulder. He laughs off the punch, casually shuffling what appears to be a deck of playing cards in his hands as if nothing had happened at all.

"Not what you were expecting?" He said, his smug smile visible, even in the dark. "You didn't _really_ think we'd hide _out in the open,_ did you?"

Glaring at him with a fiery gaze, I cradle my aching hand in the crook of my elbow and scoff at his words. "I thought it would have been a little easier to find, admittedly, but you didn't have to appear out of nowhere and scare the shit out of me, you asshole."

Damien shrugs lazily, fanning the cards out in his hands. "What ever you say, Goddess," He sighed, tweaking a nerve with his new nickname for me and holding out the cards. "Pick a card."

"Do I have to?" I snapped, acting purposely pissed off as I stare into the forest, keeping my gaze away from his.

"If you want to get into our little hideout," Damien replied, loitering over to the tree line, the moonlight catching the shining gold of his eyes as he turns to face me. "Then yes."

Although I'm quite uninterested in his little game, my desire to get home as quickly as possible trumps my ever growing annoyance for Damien. With him around, I'm almost constantly to remind myself of Zero and what he's done for me, of what he means to me and why I love him. For some unknown reason, it calms me and makes me a little more sociable as I pull a card from the deck fanned out in Damien's hands. I hold it out to him, only taking a glance at it in disinterest.

"Queen of Hearts," He said, taking the card from my hands. "Well, well, well...the witch's card. Just what I need."

With his back facing me, Damien steps into the forest, the shadows of the trees casting over him with even more blackness than before. The sound of his footsteps mingle with the sounds that the wind creates, the crunching of dead grass and fallen twigs. With only about ten steps into the forest, he kneels down and, slowly, gently, he places the card on the ground. As if it were a trick of the light, as soon as the card touches the ground, it begins to hover only a few inches off the ground. Staring blankly, I take a step forward, questions playing on my lips and tongue but strangely, I am deemed unable to get the words out.

Tapping the card three times, Damien mutters a phrase of ancient Latin, words that confuse me, even if I know exactly what they mean.

"_Cum mundus videtur obscurus, lumen eorum, qui erant in ea, qui salutis. Qui conditam tenebris, pulverem pedum cadet." _

Thinking hard, I translate the Latin into English in my mind, slowly repeating it quietly to myself. "When the world seems...most dark, those who have stayed in the light...will be those who achieve salvation. Those who have hidden away in the shadows...will fall to dust at our feet."

Just as I finish my sentence, the feeling of absolute power slices through the air with the sharpness and precision of an iron sword, stabbing me hard in the gut as I stumble back, reeling as nausea grips my chest. It was so sudden, that strong feeling of overbearing power that had hit me, and I know that it came from the card and nothing else. What Damien said must have been some kind of trigger phrase, words that were meant to be said for the entrance to the witch's hiding place to be revealed. It's smart, in all honesty, but it seemed a little too paranoid to hide the entrance so well.

As a throbbing pain starts at the base of my skull and the feeling of nausea reaches downward and settles in my stomach, I almost fall back onto the forest floor, my limbs losing all feeling as the collective mess of pain clings to my flesh. Damien, in all his annoying perfection, seems to have mastered a vampires heightened speed as he catches me by the waist, steadying me in my moment of weakness.

"Woah," He exclaimed, the feeling of his touch almost making me recoil out of his arms and into the ground. "Careful now. First time going through the Gateway can be a little overbearing, I know. The Queen made it that way so that vampires would shy away from this place, even if the Gateway isn't revealed. That's probably why it affected you like this."

With an arm encircling my waist, Damien let's me lean on him for support as I press the heels of my palms to my head, groaning with slight frustration and pain. "No shit, Sherlock. I don't have the fangs just for show, you know."

Damien laughs humourlessly and slips my arm over his shoulder, guiding me gently to the Gateway. At first, when I looked at it, I saw nothing, just the dark expanse of more forest, trees, bushes and leaves. But there was a strange outline of glowing light before my eyes, showing me the Gateway but also hiding it from me as well. Squinting, I focus hard on the outline, reaching out and tapping the middle of the supposedly empty space.

The instant my fingertips touch the surprisingly hard surface, the expanse of forest, trees, bushes and leave, ripples and shifts as if it were water, calm and still then disturbed. As the ripples spread outwards to the edges of the shining outline, a bright light flashes before my eyes and for a second, every limb I own goes dead and I fall onto Damien with a collective gasp.

"Oh Jesus," Damien groaned, slipping an arm under my knees to lift me off the ground as my head spins and the light before my eyes fades ever so slightly.

The dizziness that quickly captures me throws me off-guard and I almost pass out as my brain works hard to keep my body functioning under all these conflicting feelings and pains. As much as Damien's presence annoyed me at first, I'm actually glad he was here to catch me before I fell and I'm even more glad at what he does next, although I didn't quite think of it as a blessing to begin with.

Pressing his fingers to my forehead, Damien mutters a few words of Latin before a sensation of heat spreads from his fingertips into my forehead with a sudden burning intensity. I stiffen with the pain and try to scream but as Damien's hand closes over my mouth, my screams are muffled and agony engulfs my body. I writhe and fight against him as he holds me down but it's no use as the wildfire like pain spreads further and further through my body, burning hotter with every second. It was as if movement made the pain spread quicker and in no time, every nerve is screaming in agony just as I am. Well, just as I _would have_ if I wasn't almost being suffocated, that is.

I screw my eyes shut to keep away the temptation of crying and I struggle to breathe with Damien's hand over my mouth. I feel like I _should_ cry, but I don't, reminding myself of who's holding me down and watching my every move. I can't show weakness now, not with the truth just within my reach and Damien watching me with his luminous golden eyes. I can feel those eyes burning into my skin as I fight against the pain, biting my lip hard until I taste blood on my tongue and bile in my throat. Satisfied that I won't scream or cry out, Damien takes his hand from my mouth and softly strokes my hair, as if to comfort me as pain ravages my body.

"Easy, now," He muttered into my ear, shushing me as I whimper like a child. "It'll be over soon. Hey, focus on me. _Focus_ on me, okay?"

Opening my eyes, I stare into his golden, enchanting eyes, a look of urgency plaguing them as if he's _actually_ worried about me. I could have laughed at his worried look, had I not been completely and utterly immobilised. Oh, I despise those golden eyes and that pretty face, hate vibrating through my veins and around my skin as I stare up at him. And yet, despite my better judgement and own emotions, I believe that look of urgency in his pretty shining eyes, that glistening glaze over his luminous orbs.

It's so strange, strange that his pretty face can warrant such a calming reaction from me. It's as if his strange beauty was made specifically to calm women in their varied states of madness or pain, or maybe even made just to calm _me_. _Yes_, I thought, as the pain began to subside and my body slowly relaxes. _I'm glad he's here to catch me when I fall. I'd have probably been dead without him. But then again, I wouldn't have been in this position if I just stayed in bed. _

Shaking violently, I cough and groan as proper feeling begins to filter back into my muscles, the bile that had been stuck in the back of my throat beginning to burn so much that I almost throw it all up. Damien sits me up, gently and slowly, letting me bury my face in the crook of his neck as my lungs burn with the oxygen I manage to suck into my body. My shoulders shudder and heave as I breathe heavily, with Damien rubbing my back softly to calm me down. _  
_

"There you go," He whispered, brushing away the hair that sticks to the sweat on my face. "Just take deep breaths, okay? In, out, in, out."

Despite his instructions, I can't seem to calm myself down at all. "What was that?" I gasped, the spicy smell of Damien's cologne invading my senses. "What...What did you do?"

"What I had to," He replied. "The protection surrounding this place, it's designed to kill vampires if they try to enter. There was a slight chance you would have survived because of your mixed blood but there was even more of a chance you would have died than you would have survived. All I did was cast a healing enchantment. It repaired all the damage that the protective barrier did to you. The problem is, when you repair something using this kind of magic, it doubles the pain of what you felt getting the injury. That's why you felt as you did."

Slowly, feeling a loss of consciousness, I groan, my eyelids slowly falling closed as I manage to ask one last question. "Where...where are we, then?"

I hear Damien chuckle softly into my ear, a sly smile probably playing on his lips as I begin to slip into a dark space of my mind. Just before I completely lose myself, I hear his answer, which, naturally, is frustratingly vague.

"Welcome to the Sanctuary, Victoria."

* * *

The room I woke up in, after what felt like hours of being passed out, was far, _far, _too bright. As my tired eyelids fluttered open, I was almost blinded by the beam of bright, white light that hit my eyes the instant I awoke. It was painful, stinging and pretty fucking annoying at the same goddamn time. Without even thinking, I threw my emotions out of my body, focusing my rage and annoyance on that blinding light until it shatters completely.

"Well, look who's up?"

With the light that had been blinding me gone, I manage to see a little clearer, despite the small sparks still prickling the edges of my field of vision. Foolishly, I sit up, quite quickly as well, and send my head spinning with the added pain of a headache catching on. Admittedly, the headache could have been brought on by Damien's presence as he hands me a glass of water, which I reluctantly take with shaky hands.

"You know, you could have been a little nicer to me considering I saved your ass back in the foyer," He said, sitting down on the edge of the couch beside me. "Destroying one of my lights isn't exactly friendly."

"Neither is leading me into a death trap," I snapped, downing the icy cold water with only two gulps. "And I would appreciate it if you left my ass alone. It's not exactly yours to save."

"Is it now?" Damien said, a smug smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "So, it's Zero Kiryu's to save then, I'm guessing."

Clenching my jaw tight, I glare at him with a single warning look, gripping my empty glass with enough force to shatter it. Something inside me just snapped at the mentioning of Zero, making the blood flowing through my veins bubble and boil with hatred and guilt. It's a reminder that I left, a reminder of how I'm sneaking around behind my boyfriend's back. It's a harsh truth that has to be told but it's also reminder of why I'm really here and why I even agreed to go along with Damien's little game. "Don't talk about him."

Damien cocks his head to the side, taking the glass from my hand as cracks start to appear in it's clear surface around my fingertips. He leans in close, his gorgeous face only a few millimetres away from mine as he cups my chin and stares into my eyes. "So faithful," He chuckled, slowly tracing my jawline with his finger and sending shivers up my spine. "Where does he think you are, Goddess? Did you trick him into thinking you had some job to do at the Academy? An errand for Kaien Cross? I'm sure he'll be quite confused as to your whereabouts when he wakes up, Goddess. What'll you tell him?"

Swallowing hard to push away the intoxicating smell of his cologne, I snap back at him with as much bitter hate as I can muster. "Get _away_ from me. I'm sick of you and your games, _got it_?"

Damien laughs mockingly, despite what I thought was a decent threat, and let's me go. He stands from the couch, lightly brushing his thumb over my bottom lip, and walks over to the small, well not really small, kitchen in the corner of the room. "Whatever you say, Goddess," He sighed. "Whatever you say."

"Don't call me that," I hissed, biting my bottom lip to try and get the feeling of his touch away. Dying for a distraction,I begin looking around the surprisingly modest apartment.

The apartment is, like I said, modest but there's a certain elegance to that modesty that works for Damien, with it's black and white colour palate and stylish furniture. The kitchen may be small but has a stainless steel two-door fridge, white marble countertops and a dishwasher, which is most likely highly unnecessary. The whole room is shaped like a sort of rectangle, with the kitchen taking up the majority of one corner and the rest of the room being part of the living space. One door sits just beside the flat-screen TV right in front of me, most likely leading off to a bedroom and a bathroom. White walls, a glass coffee table and black lounge chairs; all of it reminds me distinctly of a hotel room but a hotel room that's been constantly lived in. Magazines litter the coffee table along with a cold, half-drunk, cup of coffee and movies lay stacked up on the entertainment centre underneath the TV. But to my disappointment, there are no bookcases or books in sight.

Determined to stray from the topic of Zero, I take a stab at general conversation. "Don't tell me you're one of these people who would rather watch movies than read books," I said as I stand on shaky legs, my heels, thankfully, are on the white carpet in front of the couch and _not_ on my feet.

"Why?" He sighed, leaning against the marble kitchen countertops with a look of slight boredom. "Are you one of those people who only read books and never even touches movies?"

"Well, I wouldn't say I don't touch them but I don't watch a lot of them."

"Watch some with me."

"No."

"Why?"

"I want to see the Queen, isn't that obvious?"

"Nothing is obvious until people call it that, Goddess."

"The only person who can give me philosophical answers to simple questions is F. Scott Fitzgerald," I snapped. "Unfortunately, he's dead and buried six-feet-under. So, I want to see the Queen. Is that too much to ask for?"

Damien shakes his head, tapping his fingers repetitively on the countertop. "As unfortunate as it is, my _mother_ is not to allowed to answer everyone's beckon and call. Not even me, her adoring son. She'll see you when she's ready, just like she does everyone else."

"That's bullshit," I snapped, raking a hand through my mangled hair. "I don't care if you have Mummy issues or Daddy issues or whatever the hell kind of problems you have in your life. I want to get out of here as soon as possible, _with_ the answers I was promised. Jesus Christ, are all of the witches so self-important?"

"Are all vampires so demanding?"

"Could you _be_ any more of a condescending ass?"

Damien smiles one of those playful little smiles of his, one that almost bowls me over with it's pure, dare I say it, sexiness. _You are one idiotic woman, Victoria, _I thought to myself. _One, really, _really_, idiotic woman. _

"Well," He said, stepping forward and into the invisible barrier around me that sets off all kind of alarm bells in my head. "That depends. Would you be willing to sit through at least one movie whilst waiting for my dear and '_loving_' mother gets through endless piles of bullshit to try and talk to you? Or do you want me to be even more of a smug asshole, as you so elegantly put it, by giving you a sarcastic answer every time you snap at me?"

Aware of the increasingly small space between us, I take a deep breath, rolling my eyes in a strange sense of shame. "I never called you a smug asshole. I just called you an asshole, full stop. Nothing more."

Raising an eyebrow, Damien looks me up and down, that stupid smile still plastered on his pretty face. "Is that a yes I heard?"

"You really are a condescending bastard, aren't you?"

Shaking my head, I turn and make my way back to the couch. Despite my better judgement, I agree to his little plan. Although, I'm constantly having to remind myself of Zero and everything to do with _just him_. I didn't want Damien's presence and arrogance get to me, nor did I want his pretty looks to get to me either. Damien was a temptation, an attempt to find a crack in my resolve, and I wasn't going to let him get past me. But his undeniable charm and sly smiles are like sniper bullets to my limbs; they pin me down and leave me almost speechless, without any words worth saying, no defence worth mentioning. It's like fighting someone blind; you can only rely on your other weaker senses and your reflexes to get out alive. Sadly, my reflexes are utterly out of synch when it comes to Damien.

After only a day or so of knowing this unrealistically perfect boy, I can deduct that he was right about one thing for certain. He is the Son of the Devil but at one point or another...

Even the Devil got sick of his narcissistic attitude.

* * *

**Okay, I am seriously now scared of Australian's drinking culture. For all you lovely Americans, Canadians and other foreigners who don't understand, On Australia Day, there's a boat race in Sydney, where the boats must be made out of _empty beer cans! _**

**Yep. That's how it is here. America has parades on 4th of July. We have beer can boat races. God, the bogans are just everywhere today. **

**I was sort of in the mood to write, so yay for you guys. I've spent the entirety of my day watching American Horror Story (I'm so patriotic *sarcasm*) and I'm also trying to hide from the scenes that seriously freak me out.**

**_I'mNotYourAverageItalianChick_: Yes. I'm Australian. I don't remember if I've mentioned that before. **

**_LittleDragonRider: _Tori's not that _invincible_. She does have cracks in her little armour. Or...it could be something else...*evil, knowing smile*  
**

**So, early opinions on Damien. Hate him? Wouldn't blame you. He's just intentionally an ass. Thoughts on that, if you would please.**

**Read, Review, ask questions if you want and wait patiently for the next chapter- OH MY FREAKING GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE CREATORS OF THIS SHOW?! Excuse me everyone, while I have a mental freak out -HL**


	32. Unrequited Protection

Chapter 31:

Unrequited Protection

* * *

The meeting with the Queen came around much, _much_, quicker than I actually anticipated. Damien, despite all his flirtatious attempts, was actually pretty fun to be around. He laughed, swore and made horrible little jokes like everyone else and in turn, I guess that just put me at ease. Everything was, somewhat, calm around him, like the air stilled and became effortlessly quiet when he breathed it in. It was a little unnerving at first, that little talent he possessed, but it quickly grew to become a bit of a normality. Mainly because I began to realise that his little calming effect wasn't the only little power he possessed.

"I thought the sons of witches couldn't conjure magic," I said as we walked through the halls of the Sanctuary.

"We can't," Damien replied, trailing his hand along the white painted walls. "Well, _they_ can't. _I_ can."

"How?" I snapped, my hand ghosting over the amethyst pendent necklace lying against my throat. "The book said-"

"That _book_ is centuries old, Goddess. It was written by witches who are long, _long_, dead. They never recorded the comings and goings of the recent world and they never got the chance to see _me_."

I laugh emotionlessly, the sound of my voice echoing off the walls of the hallway. The Sanctuary, as Damien explained, is shaped like a diamond and made up of five separate sections. The apartments and livings spaces, where we were, are in the top corner of the diamond. All of the apartments are reasonably modern but most of the witches who lived here have renovated and made the spaces their own. The left corner of the diamond is a known practise area, a place where the witches can go to practise their defensive powers and whatnot. I could tell what that place was the moment I left the Top Corner, as the amount of energy radiating from that place was like being hit by a train. I almost fell over when it _literally_ hit me.

"Wow, you really aren't used to this kind of power, are you?" Damien laughed, putting his hands on my shoulders to keep me upright. "You've been around vampires for _way_ too long."

"Shut up, Devil Boy," I groaned, running my hands through my hair impatiently. "So what are you then?"

"An anomaly," He replied, his hands going back into the pockets of his jeans. "I'm the only man who's ever been able to cast like a witch. It's kind of annoying, actually."

"Oh, why would that be?" I said. I almost feel sick as we walk through the Left Corner, the white, plain walls and polished hardwood floors of the Top Corner being switched out by blood red walls and black ceramic tiles. Along the tops of the skirting boards, intricate black and gold designs of swirls and spikes are painted, reaching up almost to the middle of the walls.

"Well, my mother is one of those reasons."

I scoff at his remark, crossing my arms over my chest with simple annoyance. "Well, I was definitely right about the Mummy issues. Let me guess, abandonment? Abuse? Maybe you were just a constant reminder of Daddy and she just wanted to hide you away?"

"Oh, it hurts my soul," Damien said, giving me a look of mock hurt as he places his hand over his heart. "You could at least be original in your insults."

"Was I right though?"

Damien rolled his eyes, raking his hands through his hair in what I think is anxiety but I can never be sure with him. "Not really. You weren't as close as I'm guessing you would have liked."

Turning out of the red, beautiful corridors, Damien's leads me into a place of glittery gold and utter luxury. It was honestly almost unbelievable, the amount of money that seemed to sober this place

The Left Corner eventually leads out into what everyone calls the Meeting Square. It's basically what the name says, a meeting place. It's the main foyer and also serves as the basic entrance to the whole building with the death trap known as the Gateway sitting in the middle of it all. The whole place is decorated meticulously, with patterned floors covered with grand swirling designs and a large glittering crystal chandelier that hangs from the ceiling that's adorned with gold. It looked as if it were a typical five star hotel, with expensive Victorian-style furnishings in the sitting areas and large column pillars that extend from the ground up to hold up the balconies above the foyer. They were marble pillars, expensive black marble that I knew would have cost a fortune to place. Every little sitting area is filled with witches of different nationalities, all with different skin colours and glowing eyes. They all seem happy. Too happy.

Above the main foyer, all the hallways lead to what's basically the main assembly area. It's basically just a large blank area, cream white walls and floor boards painted black and adore we with scuff marks. On the back wall, there's small stage placed against it, with the only expensive thing in the room placed on it; a large golden throne. It's obviously the place where a Queen would sit. And I'll eventually meet that Queen today.

"My life...wasn't exactly as perfect as most would expect. Being the Queen's son and all," Damien explained as we looked down at the people bustling in the Meeting Square below us. "Truth be told, I scarcely even knew my mother before my Dad died. _He_ had basically raised me, since she physically couldn't be bothered, and I only ever knew of him as my real parent. I knew I had a mother but I never acknowledged her as such. She was just a woman who shared my eyes and nothing more."

"Oh, my heart aches for you," I said blankly, picking at my chipped pastel pink nail polish. "You'll have to try a little harder to get some pity from me, Devil Boy."

"Do you want me to keep talking or not?" He snapped. "I'm quite obligated to just annoy you for the next half hour."

"Just making comments. I usually don't give pity to others so easily, so just ignore them if you want," I laughed. "How'd your father die anyway.

"Yeah, sure, Goddess. I'm sure you're a heartless bitch inside but shut up for me will you," He snapped, insulting me despite the smile on his face. "As for my father, he uh...ate a bullet on his fifty-fourth birthday while I watched, helplessly. He...He wouldn't listen to anything when he did it. It was like he was under some kind of trance, as if all he'd ever wanted was to put that gun in his mouth and pull the trigger. I was fourteen at the time."

"Wow. Tough break."

"Yeah, I know. It wasn't like my lovely mother knew exactly how to handle a hysterical fourteen-year-old boy with trauma issues. Not that I let her in, that is. I pretty much just...raised myself after that."

"Sounds kind of depressing. Unfortunately, I can only provide a slightly happier alternative with a much bloodier ending."

Damien smiled sadly, his gold eyes looking past the women below us and into the space that helps him think. I know that look all too well. It's the look they get when we're remembering something, something sad, happy or violent alike. It's one thing all of us have in common; vampires, witches and humans alike. We can all remember the things we've lost. _Always_.

"So...explain that happier alternative with a bloody ending to me," He said with a sly smile to replace his distant sadness.

"Hm, so eager," I sighed, smiling back at him. "Careful now, Devil Boy. Wouldn't want me to think you actually enjoy when people suffer."

"I don't enjoy people's suffering, Goddess. Now get on with the story."

I sigh, inwardly thinking of the best way to lie to Damien without alerting him of my distrust. Lying to protect myself is always something I've been good at, always something I've been willing to do in exchange for my own life in one piece. It's a part of life, a way of the world. So why...do I feel so wrong about lying to Damien? Looking into his golden eyes, I feel like I'm betraying him, even when I haven't even gained his trust. It's such a strange feeling, just like that calming air that he seems to just exhale, and there's something unnatural and inherently _wrong_ about it. But somehow, I manage to look past that disgust and tell the truth.

"Well, I can tell you right now, I had a _much_ better childhood than you did. Well, at least statistically. My parents loved me, I had a little baby sister who I adored and I even got to live in Germany for a while. I had a good life. And for the most of it, I enjoyed it. But the thing was, my mother was overprotective and...rather clingy. I never got to do what I wanted and the only time I ever did was always _after_ a large fight between my parents on my independence. When I was fourteen, I finally snapped."

"Snapped?"

"I got my first taste of rule breaking and...I couldn't stop. I drank more alcohol than anyone should consume. I took my drugs than I cared to admit. And I dated boys like there was no tomorrow and I probably slept with three quarters of those I was with. I was a drunk, a whore and a crackhead all in one. I was...unstable."

Damien laughs, genuinely and insultingly, his smile enchanting me once more and a sparkle reaching his eyes. "I honestly think you were more than just unstable."

"How rude," I sighed, nudging him tiredly as the memories of blood filter back into my mind. "Laughing at a woman's shame like that. You should be ashamed."

"Really? It usually works to charm women."

I scoff at his remark, growing agaitated as time passes by and I am forced by whatever God above to look into his ridiculously hypnotising gold irises. "It obviously didn't charm me and neither did any of your other attempts. Don't even bother trying again."

There was a smile from Damien and a shake of the head from me, and I had the distinct feeling that Damien would respond with some charming or witty remark. Luckily, as that feeling begins to blossom into a reality, he's cut off abruptly by the appearance of a rather official looking girl with shining emerald green eyes and short, shoulder length platinum blonde hair, whose posture and face shape matches Damien's almost perfectly. She wears a distinct green wrap dress with a heart shape neckline that matches her eyes and a choker necklace with a small emerald set in the center of the necklace. She looks me up and down lazily, her gaze looking like a somewhat bored version of Damien's. Without much effort, I make a guess that this girl is related in some way to Damien, as their similarities are too perfect to ignore. _Especially_ the eerie feeling of calm that accumulates in the air around her.

Staring at her necklace with curious intent, my stomach churns and an uneasy feeling grows in my chest. Even from here, I can feel the emerald around her neck hum with power and radiate toward me, making me feel slightly dizzy and sick as I stand up straight and nervously clutch the amethyst clasped around my neck. The gem makes me feel safe and somewhat protected as I stare into the indifferent eyes of the girl before me.

"Her Grace will see you now," She said monotonously, shifting her weight onto her right foot as she spins on her heel with one lazy glance at me. "Follow me."

Obediently, I follow, the sounds of our heels clicking against the hard wood echoing through halls. I'm surprised to see Damien cooly walk beside me, his hands in his pockets and his eyes burning into the back of the official girl's head. There's a glimpse of menace in those glittery irises but not the kind of cold-blooded menace that means death. It's the kind that displays a childish grudge, a childish grudge that has not been satisfied. It seems strange, coming from Damien, but I don't get a chance to ask about it as I'm lead into the rather empty assembly hall. Empty, except for one.

The Queen sits on her gold throne, straight backed and cross-legged, a superior look of elegance glazing over her thin form. She looks surprisingly young, about thirty or so, and she possess the harsh beauty of the official girl but her young face is stained with a distinctive arrogance that annoys me from my first good look of her. A simple diamond necklace hangs around her neck on a gold chain, little wisps of white light wavering from the gem. Her silver dress shines under the bright light of the chandelier but it's almost overshadowed by the gold that glitters in her eyes. Damien was right; he does have her eyes. Her platinum blonde hair is styled into a intricate side braid which reaches her chest in length and a small silver crown rests atop her head, almost blending with her hair. She's a picture of royalty and it honestly bothers me more than I would have liked.

"Thank you, Karina," She said, her voice full of self importance. "I didn't expect you to be here, Damien."

"You _never_ expect me to be near you and for good reason, _Your Grace," _Damien snapped, the amount of bitterness carried in his voice surprising me. "I was showing Victoria around."

"You didn't need to," The Queen remarked, barely noticing as Karina stands at her side beside the throne. "I only requested you bring her to me-"

"Yeah, well, you were '_busy_'. As per, fucking, usual."

The Queen sighed heavily, dropping her stiff, upright posture as she slumps back gently into her throne. "Karina, would you be kind enough to escort your brother out? I won't have him frustrating me even more."

Karina nods dutifully, that look of bored indifference still glazed over her eyes as she leaves the stage. Her movements are quite fluid but it's a brutal kind of fluidity, the kind that demands to be noticed. Her hips sway ever-so slightly as she walks, almost self consciously, and her chin is always high, as if to show off the necklace clamped around her neck. She reminded me of Jordan Baker in a way, just with a little less charm and maybe a little less confidence as well.

"Come on," She sighed as she passed Damien, not even bothering to look into his eyes. "Let them talk. You're no help now."

Damien scowls at his sister, his eyes flashing silver for only a second. Karina stops dead in her path, shaking her head before looking back with a small smile. "You'll have to try a little harder to hurt me, little brother. Now come along, unless you want me to drag you out kicking and screaming. If so, by all means stay."

It was slightly amusing, to see the two siblings interact, but also startling when you see the similarities. Karina had a certain type of sarcasm that was dry and almost hateful but she said it in a way that made me instantly think of Damien, with his horrible jokes and poor attempts at humour. They seemed to carry themselves in the same way; head held high, but not too high. No, never _too_ high. I can only guess that it was a result of living under their mother's monarchy that made them that way, forced to shine but not so brightly that they outshine their Queen. _  
_

_How selfish, _I thought as Damin shoots one apologetic look to me before leaving with his sister, closing the assembly doors behind him. Suddenly, I feel the weight of the tension in the room collapse onto my shoulders and almost crush me entirely, a shaky breath making it's way into my lungs. The Queen's presence is a suffocating one, the kind that makes you sick to be around. She literally has me trapped as I look up to her, standing from her throne and ghosting her hand over her necklace.

"I'm sorry about that," She said breathily, stepping down from her stage with far too much grace for someone human. "Damien is...difficult, at best. I hope he didn't offend you in any way. He has a tendency to do that."

Somehow, through all my breathlessness, I find my voice, even if it's incredibly flat. "He didn't. He was fine."

"Fine," The Queen repeated, smiling sadly to herself before approaching me. "Of course..."

Up close, she looks even younger than I had guessed, about mid-twenties was my guess, but she also looked even more arrogant and her harsh beauty was made more noticeable her high cheekbones and thin, pale lips. Still, her eyes manage to catch every ounce of light in the room, glittery with a steady shine that is enchanting and curious at the same time. It's hard not to stare at her and it wasn't hard for her to catch me on that.

"Not what you were expecting?" She asked, a friendly smile stretching her thin lips.

"Well...not exactly," I replied nervously, running a hand through my hair as my hands shake slightly. "You're just so-"

"Young?" The Queen shook her head, her smile turning arrogant within a spilt second. "I can assure you, Victoria, I am in no way young. Six hundred years go by fast but not so fast that I am unaware of their passing."

"Six hundred years?!" I exclaimed, feeling my jaw drop in surprise. "You can't be serious."

"Why would I lie? What does being old achieve? Nothing much, in my experience, apart from a little more knowledge than others. Let me guess; you executed some senile old woman, who was unaware of the comings and goings of the world around her?"

The Queen opened her arms, as if to provide invisible proof of her age. "Magic tends to do this to you. A normal witch will live to at least sixty before she even begins to age beyond twenty-five. Then again, I'm not a normal witch."

Immediately, I knew that I was getting side-tracked and I wasn't going to let this self-righteous Queen avoid my questions. I needed answers, that was why I had agreed to come here in the first place. Not to play Damien's little games, not to meet certain people. I was here for myself and myself alone. I was risking too much to get involved with anything else; Zero's trust, my sister's trust, even the Association's respect for me was on the line because of this. What I am isn't natural and the Association had only just begun to accept that. If I '_mutilated_' myself even more, their words, not mine, they would never trust me for anything ever again.

I needed my answers. And I needed them now.

"How did you find me?" I snapped, dodging formalities and getting straight to the point. "What do you want with me? Why were you having your son follow me? I don't want riddles and I don't want lies. Just give me answers, that's all I want."

The Queen laugh softly, emotionlessly, her arms crossed across her chest in a false sense of superiority. I knew that I hated her already, as her distinctly smug, arrogant attitude kept poking me with the upmost accuracy and I was already getting impatient. This woman was a liar, I could tell, and a good one too. Trusting her would be like trusting the person with their gun to your head.

"How did we find you?" She repeated, laughing harshly to herself once more. "You really are naive if you thought we found you miraculously. My dear, we never lost you in the first place."

_Never lost me in the first place?_ What could that possibly mean? Had they been following me ever since I arrived at the Academy? Had they somehow been following my mother before me? Had they just always kept an eye on my family and watched us from afar? These questions horrified me with their significance and I now wanted answers for them as well but one more important than the rest still remained. _Why_?

Cocking her head to the side, the Queen's eyes fell to my neck, to the gem hang around my neck off a silver chain that glowed a dull purple light as I touched it. "Amethyst?" She said, taking a step toward me and reaching out, taking the gem in her hand. "Tell me, what month were you born in? February?"

I had already opened my mouth to speak before she said my birth month but the words I was going to say simply disappeared off my tongue. How did she know? Hardly anyone knew my birthday and for good reason. It usually wasn't even on a calendar, so why bother mentioning it? "I...Yes. The twenty-ninth."

"Hm...Kaname Kuran made a good choice. Wearing your birthstone always makes you strong, especially in bad times. Strange...it's quite rare to find a witch born so early in the year...especially on a leap year."

"Why?"

"Amethysts are symbols of healing, power and protection. They're very powerful for a witch to wear. Usually, our healers wear them to help with strength when fixing a problem. There's...a faint bit of energy coming from this. It must have been charmed to increase it's strength. It's quite old too but...it seems...it seems like it's bonded to you."

Growing angry as the Queen avoids my questions, I subconsciously push my emotions outwards, without even thinking twice, and as quickly as one would blink an eye, a shockwave ripples through the air with far more power than I anticipated. I only just see the Queen stumble back and fall as I collapse onto my knees, nose bleeding and ears ringing, with the sharp, sweet taste of blood staining my tongue. My head pounds and I anxiously claw at the floor boards, groaning as the pain drills it's way into the centre of my brain. I knew it would continue, I was sure it would, but all of a sudden, it just stopped.

I was vaguely aware of the heat that burned my throat, both inside and out, but the on thing I _was_ aware of, was what had just happened. What had done that? Healed me so quickly that I didn't even have any time to cry out? With confusion swirling and tangling in my mind with the small aftershocks of sharp pain, I reach up to my neck, lightly touching the amethyst pendant, praying that it'll provide some kind of clarity on the situation. But as I do so, I realise it'll only burn me, quite painfully, as the gem burns with the heat of an open flame

_It seems like it's bonded to you._ Bonded...bonded enough that it would protect me. The gem healed me, as if it were a person capable of thinking. Is this why Kaname gave it to me? Was there more reason to this gift than I had originally thought? It was a puzzling thing but I didn't have much time to piece things together as the Queen's voice filled my still ringing ears.

"You wanted to know why we were after you, Victoria," She said, if not a little breathlessly. "Well...there's your answer."

* * *

**Last day of summer holidays. God help me...**

**Okay, so there is a big chance I won't update for a few days because of school returning and also my procrastination due to the fact that I may or may not be addicted to American Horror Story now but mainly because of school. So just be patient and I'll do my best to get these chapters out but you know, homework and good marks kind of override everything else. You guys understand, I'm sure...**

**_LittleDragonRider_: Wow, vengeful hate there. I can tell you're _really_ not going to like what I have planned. Not. At. All.**

**_lmncake_: You'll see ;). Well, not really but it'll be a bit like that in a way. Just a slightly haphazard love triangle of confusion and trickery. **

**So, how do you guys like this so far? It's been a while since I asked that but I don't know, I guess my mind's just in denial about going back to school so it's refusing to function properly so it reuses questions. Oh, God, I don't even think that was a proper sentence. I'm just gonna go cry about the fact that I may be alone in my class this year, with none of my usual friends at all. **

**Read, Review, ask questions if you want and wait patiently for the next chapter. I'm just gonna sit here for a while and count the minutes until the day is over and I have to go back to school...-HL**


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